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The Reformed Vampire Support Group

3.41 of 5 stars 3.41 · rating details · 2,713 ratings · 574 reviews

Think vampires are romantic, sexy, and powerful? Think again. Vampires are dead. And unless they want to end up staked, they have to give up fanging people, admit their addiction, join a support group, and reform themselves.

Nina Harrison, fanged at fifteen and still living with her mother, hates the Reformed Vampire Support Group meetings every Tuesday night. Even if she d...more

Hardcover, 362 pages

Published April 20th 2009 by Harcourt Children's Books

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Sep 21, 2010 Caris rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010, young-adult

After much deliberation, I’ve decided that vampires turn me on.

Vampires, afterall, are sex. Greater people than I have pointed that out. There’s the whole predator/prey thing that’s unbelievably sexy. And the penetration by elongated canines? I’m sweating just thinking about it.

Ooh, and the bite (oh, that bite) into the creamy white flesh of the exposed neck while the night creature's fingers dance so provocatively across the victim’s clavicle...

You may be wondering right now, “Dude, wtf? Weren’...more After much deliberation, I’ve decided that vampires turn me on.

Vampires, afterall, are sex. Greater people than I have pointed that out. There’s the whole predator/prey thing that’s unbelievably sexy. And the penetration by elongated canines? I’m sweating just thinking about it.

Ooh, and the bite (oh, that bite) into the creamy white flesh of the exposed neck while the night creature's fingers dance so provocatively across the victim’s clavicle...

You may be wondering right now, “Dude, wtf? Weren’t you the one who stated so emphatically that you ‘fucking hate vampires’?”

My response to that, dear reader, is that I didn’t know vampires before. I didn’t know how sexy they could be. For, with the understanding that vampires are symbolic of the act of sexual congress, the characters of this book fucked a boatload of guinea pigs. And, by now, you all ought to know how I feel about that.

Rodent romance aside (If you don’t want to read this part, you can just scroll up and read the beginning over again. I certainly wouldn’t blame you. This is going to get boring.), this work actually stood on its own two wobbly legs. It started out with that goddamned annoying “everything you know about vampires is wrong” bullshit. Of course, like all of the other books that make this proclamation, it also proved that the gist of it (you know, the bloodsucking/guinea pig fucking) bit was still on the money. I’m really tired of this, to be honest. Write about something else if you don’t want to write about vampires. Or get a bagel or something. I don’t care. Just stop making these stupid claims. If certain things about vampires weren’t universally true, they wouldn’t be so compelling (not that they’re at all compelling).

Jinks’ vampires are a pretty sad group. They’re determined to not attack anyone and live their long, long, boring lives on the fringes of Australian society. At least that’s what they normally do. These poor folks get their feathers all ruffled when some crazy asshole decides to slay them (turns out that the old standby through the heart still gets things done where these not anything like the stories you’ve heard vampires are concerned). In an act of self preservation, they’re forced into action. See, the vampire killer offed one of their friends (Well, not really a friend. Kind of a douchebag, really.) and stole his address book (which, naturally, had all of their names and addresses in it). Once in motion, these folks fuck a lot of things up as people tend to do.

Now, I’m not sure if this is a spoiler or not, so skip this paragraph if you’re scared. They meet a werewolf. Not a Jacob kind of werewolf, more of a mangy Outback kind of werewolf. When they meet him, he’s being held against his will and forced to fight other werewolves in something like a hardcore dogfighting ring. To me, this was a profoundly interesting idea because I can see some off-his-nut-backwoods motherfucker come up with such an idea if these creatures did exist in nature. Jinks does all kinds of cool things like this where she not just lays out the social commentary, but where she exposed real, sick human reactions to things. Sure there are people who would try to eradicate werewolves from the face of the planet, but there are probably just as many greedy bastards who would try to exploit them.

In the end, this is one of the best vampire books I’ve read. It borrows a lot from other stories (namely Twilight and Breathers), but slaps things back together in a nice way. I’m not upset that I read this and that’s something to me.

And woo-hoo! Make those guinea pigs squeal like real pigs!(less)

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Jan 23, 2011 Vinaya rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: urban-fantasy, books-i-liked

Once upon a time, there lived a young, handsome vampire. This vampire, let's call him Eddie, was a beautiful specimen of manhood, glowing with health and vitality. He was blessed with several superpowers, not the least of which was an ability to attract ordinary-looking, pale-faced teenage vampire wanna-bes. And that was only the least of Eddie's talents. He could also... *gasp*... read minds! He sparkled like a diamond in the sun, he never needed any sleep and he was insanely physically powerfu...more Once upon a time, there lived a young, handsome vampire. This vampire, let's call him Eddie, was a beautiful specimen of manhood, glowing with health and vitality. He was blessed with several superpowers, not the least of which was an ability to attract ordinary-looking, pale-faced teenage vampire wanna-bes. And that was only the least of Eddie's talents. He could also... *gasp*... read minds! He sparkled like a diamond in the sun, he never needed any sleep and he was insanely physically powerful. In short, he was everything that the vampires of the Reformed Vampired Support Group are not.

Yes, welcome to the real world of the vampires. They're not god-like beings with superpowers. They're sad, pathetic immortals clinging to the remnants of their humanity. They have self-imposed rules that prevent them from drinking human blood, lest they infect other people with the vamp infection. They burn to ash in the sunlight, they can be staked, beheaded, and burnt to death, and the worst part is, they're too weak to fight off anyone who wants to attack them in any of the ways listed above. They spend their days raising guinea pigs (to provide their blood supply), being sick as a dog, and watching very many, many soap operas.

I've never met a bunch of vamps more pathetic than the ones from the Reformed Vampires Support Group. So it's strange that I found them kind of... endearing. It's like reading a book about a bunch of cranky, whiny old people, but at least they're cute, whiny, old people. I don't know if this book is listed as a YA book, but if it is, it's grossly misrepresented. Although the story is told from the POV of a fifteen year old vampire who died thrity-six years ago, neither the tone of the book, nor the style of writing is something that would appeal to the average YA reader.

The Reformed Vampires Support Group is a duh! support group for vampires who have decided (or been coerced into deciding) not to drink blood. Fifteen year old Nina, the youngest member of the group, hates being a vampire. So much so that she absolutely fails to see that Dave, a former musician and fellow vampire has been nursing a crush on her since forever. But when one of the group's vampires is staked in his coffin, the group is forced to get off its collective ass and find the 'slayer' in a desperate attempt to preserve their own existence. What follows is several crazy hijinks involving a werewolf, an orange truck, silver bullets and homicidal werewolf-kidnappers.

I don't think RVSG is the best vampire book out there. But I'm not willing to write it off completely, either. It does manage to be funny in parts, and I really like the characters, especially Dave and Nina. All the characters manage to be what the author intended them to be. Sanford is a pretentious, prosy bore. Nina is the still-rebellious teenager frustrated with her situation and itching to get out, without being TSTL. Dave is shy and somewhat sombre, but he is also brave when the situation calls for it. Nina's mother is adorably prickly. Father Ramon is the quietly helpful facilitator who's all priestly without being too preachy.

If you're expecting a flamboyant ride through the world of the vamps, this is not the book for you. None of the characters are flashy, or particularly heroic, or even all that memorable. The romance angle is no angle at all, since it only gets a token acknowledgement in the end. So why does this book still get three stars, you ask. Well, I thought it was cute. That's all. Not spectacular, or fantastic, or horrible, or annoying, or any of those adjectives I generally like to toss around. It's just, plain, cute. Adorable, in fact.

I would be scared of recommending this book to anyone for the simple reason that I can see that it's not a universal-appeal book. It takes some work to get through the book and the pacing is pretty slow. So if you have patience, and no old-people phobias, read this novel. If you want a thrilling, titillating ride, well, you ain't gonna find it here! (less)

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Nov 13, 2012 Jennifer Wardrip rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: trt-posted-reviews

Reviewed by Sarah Bean the Green Bean Teen Queen for TeensReadToo.com

Forget everything you knew about vampires. They are not sexy, stylish, rich, or powerful.

Nina has been a 15-year-old since 1973 when she was first turned into a vampire. Now she attends vampire support group meetings with her fellow vamps, who are sickly and living off the blood of guinea pigs. It's not a fancy life at all!

Nina's life is boring (although she does use her experience as a vampire to write vampire fiction). So whe...more

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Jan 08, 2012 Kana rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: vampires, audiobook, young-adults-n-teens, dystopia, fantasy, kickass-heroines, mystery, in-paperback

I feel bad. I've actually had a hardcover copy of this book, literally for several years. I bought it on a whim, from my schools bookstore. The cover and idea seemed pretty amusing and I always enjoy a good light vampire book. But I never got around to reading it. (Busy college student/fulltime employee will do that to you.)
But I wanted to read it, and finally caved and got the audiobook version. I can go through books if I'm not pinned to my chair, and can work on other things, dishes, laundry,...more

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Dec 25, 2012 Book Chick City rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, book-list-2009, fantasy, all-hallows-eve-2009

This book is very different from the usual vampire novel in that the vampires are neither beautiful, sexy supernatural beings or complete monsters. Instead they are pasty, skinny, sickly vampires with no supernatural powers and who have to feed off Guinea Pigs and wear sunglasses so their eyes don't hemorrhage, even in artificial light.

I wasn't sure if I liked this take on the vampire or not. I usually enjoy reading about the sexy vamp or the cruel vamp. However, as I read through the chapters...more

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Mar 11, 2009 Allison rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a comedy of reformed vampires who become tangled in a mystery involving a slain vampire friend, two greedy gamblers, a werewolf, and an oddball vampire-obsessed murderer. Will they have enough guinea pigs to get them through the ordeal? Will vampire Nina's human Mom be able to handle the stress of a coven of vampires in her home? Will Nina see that Dave is more than a former band member now vampire? Will there be new members in the support group? This book is funny as anything! A few slo...more

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Aug 04, 2011 Anna added it

Imagine a group of vampires who have chosen to live the "vegetarian" lifestyle, avoiding the inevitable awkwardness that arises from drinking human blood. No, it's not Twilight. Instead of being godlike, sparkly, glamorous, and sculpted, Australian author Catherine Jinks's vampires are weak, nervous, insular, and distressingly prone to vomiting guinea pig blood. Nina, a perpetual fifteen year-old who was "fanged" in 1973 and still lives with her mother, is a member of the Reformed Vampire Suppor...more Imagine a group of vampires who have chosen to live the "vegetarian" lifestyle, avoiding the inevitable awkwardness that arises from drinking human blood. No, it's not Twilight. Instead of being godlike, sparkly, glamorous, and sculpted, Australian author Catherine Jinks's vampires are weak, nervous, insular, and distressingly prone to vomiting guinea pig blood. Nina, a perpetual fifteen year-old who was "fanged" in 1973 and still lives with her mother, is a member of the Reformed Vampire Support Group, which meets weekly to retread the psychological issues of its members. Nina actually hates vampires: "Vampires are meant to be so glamorous and powerful, but I'm here to inform you that being a vampire is nothing like that. Not one bit. On the contrary, it's like being stuck indoors with the flu watching daytime television, forever and ever." More than vampires, Nina hates thinking like a vampire, and is desperately afraid that she will cease to care about the outside world entirely, given enough time and lack of motivation. What is important to her, and the rest of the Reformed Vampire Support Group, is their identity as humans who are struggling with an infection, rather than monsters with no self-control. The means by which Nina leaves her comfort zone--an obsessive vampire slayer, an abused werewolf, and two disturbingly violent men--are less important. I enjoyed the book immensely as a light-hearted Twilight antidote (Nina, herself the author of vampire-themed fiction, remarks wryly that she's no Stephenie Meyer), but I had several issues with the plotting/editing. As an author, Jinks has taken on a narrator who misses all the daylight hours of any given day, something which can make plotting for an action-packed novel rather difficult. I do understand that, however . . . I feel that there must be a better way to move the plot along than having Nina say "I'm going to cheat a bit now" and then recount things as if they were happening in real time. Perhaps if this were not a book for young adults, she would have been able to move the story along without holding our hands every step. Also: Doesn't Nina have to go to school? (This may be something that Twilight actually does better.) Also also: I know Nina is an author and all, but having her start the book in 3rd person, then switch to 1st person after 3 pages, is a distracting throwaway. Nevertheless, I loved the ensemble cast, which is filled with endearing characters, and I enjoyed Nina's growth over the course of the book. I look forward to developments in The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group.(less)

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May 09, 2013 David Wickham rated it 4 of 5 stars

I picked this book up at my library while I was waiting on my car to be serviced. It's much better than I expected it to be. The main characters are well developed. The story was interesting. The author managed to insert enough humor into the book to make it readable.

I always base how well I like book on how well I like the characters. Nina is just a wonderful character. She's not a 15 year old girl even though she's stuck in a 15 year old's body. Her mum is good too. I wish she was developed a...more

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Apr 28, 2013 Zain Abdullah rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book was practically oozing with potential. I mean, it had a decent concept and it was done by Catherine Jinks, who happens to be one of my favorite authors because of her Evil Genius trilogy. But this book isn't Evil Genius.
Unfortunately.
The book never actually went anywhere, like I was expecting it to. The entire time I was practically bored out of my mind, and I had to force myself to finish it because I was hoping that it might eventually get good. At the time, I didn't know how wrong I...more

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Mar 16, 2013 Liane rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: a-breath-of-fresh-air, addicted-to-ya, favorite-authors, favorites, strong-heroines, this-book-surprised-me

I picked this book up for about $2 at a secondhand bookstore.
I think that it's a fairly good bargain seeing as I read it at least a dozen times. That five-star up there is not because I think this book is the best piece of literature since J.R.R. Tolkien's 'Lord of the Rings', that five star is up there because this is a really fun read, and as someone who reads for fun, I think that that is one of the most important parts of book. I'm not saying that I think this book is perfect or even grea...more

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Sep 30, 2012 Lindley Walter-smith rated it 2 of 5 stars

It might seem odd that my major issue with a YA vampire book is ableism, but... it really is.

This book uses the tired old "Vampirism=AIDS" metaphor. Not that you have to be very perceptive to figure this out, because the author comes right out and tells you "Vampirism is like having AIDS." (This is typical, by the way - Jinks doesn't trust her readers to figure out *anything*, so she spells out the perfectly obvious over and over.) So, what are these vampires like? Not just (hilariously, apparen...more It might seem odd that my major issue with a YA vampire book is ableism, but... it really is.

This book uses the tired old "Vampirism=AIDS" metaphor. Not that you have to be very perceptive to figure this out, because the author comes right out and tells you "Vampirism is like having AIDS." (This is typical, by the way - Jinks doesn't trust her readers to figure out *anything*, so she spells out the perfectly obvious over and over.) So, what are these vampires like? Not just (hilariously, apparently) sick and deeply pathetic and helpless, but forced to live lives of complete isolation, because they are so absolutely desperate to attack - metaphorical rape, I assume - and infect normal people that they literally can't be left alone in a room with them. Yeah, okay. Even if she didn't really mean to portray people with AIDS as desperate rapists, I would expect an author to be more careful and more aware of the implications of what she writes.

It's only made better by the casual pejorative use of "retarded" and by the frequent use of "handicapped".

Right, that out of the way... I was puzzled by this book. It's packaged and blurbed as YA humorous horror, but the horror and the nastiness of it outweighs any actual humour. I'm not sure about the YA status, either. Despite her youthful body, we're repeatedly told the heroine is 51, and really, she thinks and acts like it.

It is also incredibly confusing that things like kidnapping, enslavement and murder seem to be brushed away as not really making people bad, while what seemes like a much more minor crime is horrendously punished. I don't know what she was going for there. The writing is lazy: it's first person perspective, but that format was obviously too limiting for the author, because she keeps inserting chapters about action the protagonist isn't present for, with a disingenous "I'm going to cheat a bit here." Not as annoying, though, as the device of the protagonist being a writer of detective novels and constantly (a couple of times a chapter) having bits comparing her to her heroine to her disadvantage. We get it already...

It's a shame, really, as there were elements in this book I really liked. The supernatural bloodsports, for example. As straight horror/fantasy, with the ableist issues resolved and more careful writing, this could have been a really interesting book.

I checked up on this book to make sure it wasn't self-published, as I tend to go a bit easier on self-edited work, but the author seems to have a solid publishing background behind her and be well respected. Perhaps she takes more care with works for an adult audience.(less)

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Aug 19, 2012 Fire_Dragon_ rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: library

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Apr 08, 2012 Katie Young rated it 3 of 5 stars

Katie Young
Modern Fantasy

Nina, a teenage vampire who lives with her mother, belongs to the Reformed Vampire Support Group which meets every Tuesday night at a church in Australia. Nina has no patience for the reformed vampires of the group except for Dave, who is cool and levelheaded for a teenage vampire. Nina feels vampire life is boring because they are always sick and weak, especially if they miss a meal of guinea pig blood. Life becomes difficult and scary after one member of the group is m...more

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Mar 12, 2012 Johanna Freivalds rated it 1 of 5 stars

I read this book as part of a young reader's choice teen lit class and while the book is not unreadable, I just really didn't enjoy it all that much. Part of the class was deciding how the book could be used as a novel study with students. In my opinion, there just isn't enough "good stuff" to make it novel-study worthy. This book would probably be better suited as a book club selection (or even used as a basis for small-group biblio-therapy discussions) rather than an as in-depth novel study. T...more

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Feb 20, 2012 Erin rated it 2 of 5 stars

The reformed vampires, a disparate group of characters who have nothing in common but their illness, don't really get a long, but they're stuck with each other. When one of their number is found staked, they have to band together to find out who did it--and whether one of them could be next.

A fantastic premise with poor execution, Jinks' The Reformed Vampire Support Group is not your typical vampire tale. Her vampires are weak, prone to vomiting and bleeding from the eyes, and live off of guinea...more

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Feb 20, 2012 Esme rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: horror-fantasy-scifi

Vampire sind solche Waschlappen. Schwach, kränklich, antriebslos und immer ist ihnen schlecht. Das hier ist die wahre Geschichte über Vampire.

Nina war 15 als sie von einem Vampir infiziert wurde. Seitdem sind 36 Jahre vergangen und so richtig hat Nina ihr Vampirsein nie akzeptieren können. Eigentlich hat sich auch nicht so viel in ihrem Leben geändert. Sie sieht immer noch aus wie ein kleines, mageres, blasses Mädchen und lebt bei ihrer Mutter. Jeden Dienstag trifft sie sich mit den anderen sieb...more Vampire sind solche Waschlappen. Schwach, kränklich, antriebslos und immer ist ihnen schlecht. Das hier ist die wahre Geschichte über Vampire.

Nina war 15 als sie von einem Vampir infiziert wurde. Seitdem sind 36 Jahre vergangen und so richtig hat Nina ihr Vampirsein nie akzeptieren können. Eigentlich hat sich auch nicht so viel in ihrem Leben geändert. Sie sieht immer noch aus wie ein kleines, mageres, blasses Mädchen und lebt bei ihrer Mutter. Jeden Dienstag trifft sie sich mit den anderen sieben Vampiren der Vampirselbsthilfegruppe, die von Father Ramòn seelsorgerisch betreut wird. Diese Vampire sind abstinent, sie ernähren sich von Meerschweinchen und Nahrungsergänzungsmitteln, deshalb sind sie auch so schlaff.

Als dann der älteste Vampir Sydneys, Casimir Kucynski, ermordet wird, ist es mit dem beschaulichen Leben vorbei. Casimir wurde nicht nur gepfählt, sondern auch noch mit einer silbernen Kugel erschossen. Da wollte jemand also ganz sicher gehen. Jemand, der all die Mythen über Vampire studiert hat. Jemand, der in Wirklichkeit überhaupt keine Ahnung hat. Ein Road-Trip ins Outback auf der Suche nach dem Mörder beginnt.

Der Anfang von The Reformed Vampire Support Group (Blutsbande – Bekenntnisse einer Vampirin) ist herrlich, schräg, unkonventionell und sehr witzig. Eine Parodie auf all die schönen, potenten und starken Vampire. Eine Vampirin, die ehemalige Nonne Bridget, war bereits über 80 Jahre alt, als sie infiziert wurde und hat nun wegen ihrer Hüfte große Probleme beim Treppensteigen. Ist eine strickende Vampirin furchteinflößend? Diese Vampire sind ein jämmerlicher, käsebleicher Haufen, schreckhaft und deprimiert. Das Vampirdasein ist überhaupt nicht lustig.

Ein Haken an der Sache ist, dass Nina 51 Jahre alt ist, aber eher den Eindruck eines Teenagers macht. Das ist durchaus verständlich, sieht sie nicht nur so aus, sondern wird auch von allen anderen so behandelt. Trotzdem ist das eine Disharmonie, die sich hier einschleicht. Ein anderer störender Punkt ist die Art, in der alles angegangen wird, da wird erwogen, argumentiert, kurz gesagt es wird zu viel gequatscht. Aufgrund der Konstitution der Vampire ist das zwar nur logisch, bremst aber immer wieder die Geschichte aus. Und diese Lethargie überträgt sich bisweilen auch auf den Leser.

Jedenfalls kann ich mir gut vorstellen, dass Catherine Jinks viel Spaß beim Schreiben dieses Romans hatte. Und den Spaß hatte ich beim Lesen ebenfalls, besonders nach der Lektüre all dessen, was sich heute unter dem Label Vampire zwischen zwei Buchdeckeln tummelt und dann läßt sich auch leicht über kleinere Schwächen hinwegsehen. (less)

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Jan 06, 2012 Misty Baker rated it 4 of 5 stars

I don’t often read funny books…I don’t know why, I probably should, maybe it would jolt me out of the perpetual bad mood I seem to be in these days, but the fact remains, I usually pass up the humor for a good spurge of gore or zombies with anger management issues; so when my husband handed me a book with probably one of the most intriguing titles I have read in a while… I just couldn’t say no.

“The Reformed Vampire Support Group” by “Catherine Jinks” was hilarious. Not in a joke-after-joke-pun-a...more I don’t often read funny books…I don’t know why, I probably should, maybe it would jolt me out of the perpetual bad mood I seem to be in these days, but the fact remains, I usually pass up the humor for a good spurge of gore or zombies with anger management issues; so when my husband handed me a book with probably one of the most intriguing titles I have read in a while… I just couldn’t say no.

“The Reformed Vampire Support Group” by “Catherine Jinks” was hilarious. Not in a joke-after-joke-pun-after-pun way, but more the this-is-so-awkward-you-can’t-help-but-laugh-at-it funny. Think “A Fish Called Wanda” meets “Grumpy Old Men” (come on…picture it…got it? Funny isn’t it.)

The plot is written from Nina’s perspective…she’s a vampire (duh) but not the kind we normally think about. No, Nina and her band of vampire misfits are whiney, sickly, paranoid schizophrenics that spend more time in group therapy and fanging helpless gerbils than that do actually living their lives. That is, of course, until Cassimir (the original vamp) turns up ashes in his coffin and Nina decides she just can’t take her pathetic life anymore. Her and friends (Dave the downer vamp, and a Catholic Priest) set out on a mission to track down the slayer and bring things back to order, only… after turning up at the wrong house they get more than could ever bargain for. (Lets just say a very angry puppy shows up.) The entire book is based around the groups fumbling attempts to be better than they are and to stop a slew of crimes that… incidentally they actually caused themselves.

There is an 80 year old granny vamp with bad hips and a crocheting fixation, a prescription sunglasses incident that has Nina a little wobbly, lots of angry bedroom captives, a failed arson attempt, a loopy newbie vamp that hurls while trying to hostage negotiate, creepy basements, and 1 very distressed mail carrier that jumps out of a 2nd story window.

The writing was charming, as if Nina was letting you in on little secret but sparing you the gory details, and the plot was extremely twisty turny but well executed. I laughed out loud several times, and at one point had the most bizarre, in my head, movie playing…but I will whole heartedly admit that I enjoyed it. So much so that I might actually consider reading the brighter side of life more often.

Happy reading my fellow Groupers and remember: if at first you don’t succeed, cower in a corner till the bad man goes away.

(less)

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Oct 21, 2011 Ann rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: slis-5425

In The Reformed Vampire Support Group, Nina Harris tells it like it is. Vampires are nothing like what you see in Twilight: they have no super-powers, they definitely don’t sparkle in the sun – in fact, vampires are clinically dead from sunrise to sunset, and just as unaware of what’s going on around them. Being a vampire is rather like having a chronic illness that leaves you tired, sore, and throwing up at least once a week. In fact, the only thing Jinks’ vampires have in common with those of...more In The Reformed Vampire Support Group, Nina Harris tells it like it is. Vampires are nothing like what you see in Twilight: they have no super-powers, they definitely don’t sparkle in the sun – in fact, vampires are clinically dead from sunrise to sunset, and just as unaware of what’s going on around them. Being a vampire is rather like having a chronic illness that leaves you tired, sore, and throwing up at least once a week. In fact, the only thing Jinks’ vampires have in common with those of Stephanie Meyer is that eating anything other than blood makes them sick – but then, for these vampires, so does looking at artificial lights.

Nina and her support group eat guinea pigs, along with a supplement that Sebastian, a former doctor, developed, to help them digest the non-human blood. They meet once a week in a church to complain to each other (and so Sebastian can make sure they are all staying reformed). And when they find Casimir, the one member of their group they all universally loathe – not because he is most likely not reformed, but because he changed all of them – dead in his coffin, they all have to band together and start doing more than going through the motions when it comes to living their unlives. Or their lives might be the next to end.

Some readers might not like that these vampires are not ‘cool’ or even very pretty – Bridget was over 70 when she was turned and still has bad hips, but even the youngest (Nina, 51 and forever 15 and Dave, 30-something but stuck at 19) look more Gothic than most people would find attractive – but that very difference is what grounds this book in reality. Sure, vampires don’t exist – but if they didn’t have super powers, and more resembled ailing hermits, well, mightn’t they? Vampires might very well be hiding from us ‘normal’ humans if they were this frail, which lends excitement to this book – as if they book itself wasn’t enough!

Oh, and vampires do have *one* super-power – but you’ll have to read to find out!
(less)

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Aug 20, 2011 Dawn Vanniman rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is not your run of the mill, sexy vampire story. It's quirky and snarky and funny as heck. These vampires aren't powerful supernatural beings. Heck, they don't even sparkle. The vampires in THE REFORMED VAMPIRE SUPPORT GROUP are sad, sick, weak specimens. They bicker...a lot...about the same stuff...for years on end. They've sworn off human blood and raise guinea pigs to feed off of (or 'fang' if you will). They should be frustrating and boring, but they are hilarious.

One of the members of...more

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Jul 08, 2011 Natali rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: summer-reading-list-2011

Okay, for months I have refused to read any sort of vampire book after the Cirque Du Freak series, the blue bloods series, and several other Twilight knock offs (not saying Cirque is a Twilight knock off because it most definitely is NOT). People have said good things about the Vampire Diaries and my best friend is begging me to read the Vampire Academy and another is telling me about the House of Night and I CAN'T TAKE VAMPIRES ANYMORE. So when I picked The Reformed Vampire Support Group, I tho...more

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Jan 27, 2011 Larissa rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: own

Zadia Bloodstone is a fearless crime fighting heroine with superhuman strength, glamorous beauty, and the ability to turn into a bat. Zadia is altogether one powerful vampire you would not want to mess with. Unfortunately for Nina real vampires are not like that, not at all. Well except for the part about sunlight, that part's real, as is the part about a stake through the heart. But as Nina will tell you being a vampire is no way to live, especially a reformed vampire.

So much of a vampires' tim...more

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Jan 10, 2011 M.Christine Weber rated it 3 of 5 stars

I’m not swearing Catherine Jinks wrote The Reformed Vampire Support Group as a parody of the Twilight universe. I’m just calling it as I see it.

If you hate Twilight, chances are you’ll love this book. And if you’re Twi-obsessed, well, then, I’ll give you a 60% possibility of enjoyment. Consider it Twilight on a bad LSD trip.

What’s different? Hmm. Well . . . imagine your mom as a vampire. The mom you know and love and shudder at when she walks around at seven in the morning in curlers and a hair-...more

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Oct 24, 2010 CeCe rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: given-up

I wanted to like this book. I really did. But I just...couldn't.

Let me start of by saying that Jinks's take on vampires is very original and a nice change of pace from the recent glamourous outlook the ya genre has given them.

But when you have a bunch of "supernatural" characters with no real special abilities or talents, (not to mention a whiny, depressed main character who doesn't seem to like anyone, and a bunch of annoying, angry side characters) it makes for pretty boring reading. Honestly,...more

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Jul 06, 2010 An Abundance of Books rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Nina and her vampire friends don't run around town in sexy clothes seducing their meals, they generally sit at home, too sick to do much but eat a hamster and watch television. Artificial light can cause them to bleed from the eyes (but they're ok with TV and computer monitors) so vampires rarely go outside. Since feeding from a human automatically turns the human into a vamp, Nina and her friends only feed from hamsters, keeping them very weak.
When one of the group members, and the vampire resp...more

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Jun 13, 2010 Susan rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: young-adult, juvenile

What if a vampire was one of us? In a stark contrast to Stephenie Meyer's glam, sparkling crew of magazine-ready vamps, Jinks assembles a motley crew of regular-folk bloodsuckers. No superpowers here, no instant undead makeovers, this gang is stunted at wherever, whoever they were when they were transformed, warts and all. The situation would make for a refreshing (and funny)change of pace save for the one unfortunate catch: turns out a reading about a ragtag band of fairly run-of-the-mill sadsa...more What if a vampire was one of us? In a stark contrast to Stephenie Meyer's glam, sparkling crew of magazine-ready vamps, Jinks assembles a motley crew of regular-folk bloodsuckers. No superpowers here, no instant undead makeovers, this gang is stunted at wherever, whoever they were when they were transformed, warts and all. The situation would make for a refreshing (and funny)change of pace save for the one unfortunate catch: turns out a reading about a ragtag band of fairly run-of-the-mill sadsacks is exactly as (un)interesting as one might expect. Turns out that maybe there's such a thing as too much verisimilitude.

Nina and her reformed vampire cohorts spend most of their time bellyaching, attending their support group, and shielding themselves from the wide-range of threats to their well-being. This normally means their struggles with sunlight and improper nutrition, but when one of their own gets suddenly staked they have to do a little more than grudgingly humor each other--they have to actually pull together before they all end up poofed into a pile of ash or hauled in by the police. Unfortunately, the hijinks keep getting interrupted by irritating blackouts. Whenever Nina and her group fall into their daily vampire comas the narrative pulls up to an abrupt halt as well--each time followed by a hasty recap of what they missed. In other words, half the time there finally is action, we don't get the benefit of the action firsthand in real time and the quantity of information that gets hurriedly packed in these recaps makes it feel like Jinks had more story than time to tell it. That may partially explain why we barely get to know the characters beyond a neurotic tic and their chief physical complaint and why a romantic interest late in the book feels like a little bit of a stretch. Jinx (via Nina) slyly references Stephenie Meyer at a couple points in the book, but ultimately these little jabs only serve to remind us that the other vampire fare out there has a little more to offer in terms of both humor, drama and (for all the tweens and teens who eat it up) crushiness than we find here among Jinx's reformed vampires.
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May 29, 2010 Chris rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: teen-fiction, tween-fiction

Catherine Jinks' vampire book is a refreshing breath of cynical air in the current vampire-obsessed climate we find ourselves in. Her vampires are constantly nauseous, deathly afraid of any light brighter than 25 watts, and frequently so weak that they need to have sit-and-rest spells. Unfortunately, they also have a murdered member of their support group -- the vampire who was responsible for all of their transformations and one who may or may not have had an address book with all of their addr...more

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May 12, 2010 Paula rated it 3 of 5 stars

'The Reformed Vampire Support Group' tells the story of Nina, who looks 15 years old but is in fact 51 years old after being bitten and becoming a vampire in 1973. Nina's main problem (apart from being a vampire) is the fact she still looks 15 years old, still lives at home and is part of The Reformed Vampire Support Group, a group of vampires, who do not bite people and live their lives as normally as possible, the weekly meetings consist of the same complaints by the same members, something Ni...more

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Apr 26, 2010 Arya rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Nina

Shelves: fantasy

Oh finally someone decided to name the main character of a book Nina! I have been waiting for this FOREVER!!

Nina is a vampire (this just gets better and better . . . ) and she is part of the Reformed Vampire Support Group, where the poor, infected vampires get together to bemoan their fate. Nina is very annoyed with all of the vampires in her support group. They never:
• Go anywhere
• Do anything
• Change
• Treat her like an adult
In Nina’s world there is nothing glamorous about being a vampire. Sure...more

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Feb 11, 2010 Chris rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fantasy, adventure, horror, not-graphic, ya

Though I knew that a shot to the head wouldn't kill me, I also knew that life with half a brain would be more uncomfortable than ever.

Being a vampire's not all it's cracked up to be. True, you can't die and your night vision improves, but all that stuff about regeneration and super strength and transformation is just hogwash from books. It's even harder when you're reformed and trying to survive on guinea pigs and supplements instead human blood, living in a state of perpetual nausea and weaknes...more

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Feb 04, 2010 Casandria rated it 4 of 5 stars

The story of The Reformed Vampires Support Group was a little slow to get started, but it was worth the wait. The story is narrated by Nina, who was "fanged" at 15, so still looks (and acts) like a teenager. She meets with other vampires in Sydney, Australia who don't want to become ruthless murderers. In this book, vampires are sickly, persecuted people who must hide their identities at all costs. One of their group members is murdered, so they set out to discover the killer in an effort to per...more

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About Catherine Jinks

Catherine Jinks is the Australian author of more than thirty books for all ages. She has garnered many awards, including the Children’s Book Council of Australia Book of the Year Award(three times), the Victorian Premier’s Award, the Aurealis Award for Science Fiction, the Australian Ibby Award, and the Davitt Award for Crime Fiction. Her work has been published in Australia, New Zealand, Britain,...more

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“When someone's rattling on about blocked toilets, collapsing marquees, and penis-shaped birthday cakes, it's hard to convince yourself that you're in a life-or-death situation.” — 12 people liked it

“Horace, however, had arrayed himself in a Gothic assortment of crushed velvet, black satin, and patent leather that shouldn't have been allowed in my view. He might as well have I AM A VAMPIRE embroidered across the front of his watered-silk waistcoat. An outfit like that is going to get him staked one of these days; it's exactly what Boris Karloff would have worn, if he had joined the cast of Rocky Horror Motion Picture Show.” — 3 people liked it

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