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The Opposite of Fate

3.86 of 5 stars 3.86 · rating details · 4,286 ratings · 472 reviews

In her first book of nonfiction, bestselling novelist Amy Tan shares her personal philosophy of fate.
Amy Tan was born into a family that believed in fate. In "The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings," she explores this legacy, as well as American circumstances, and finds ways to honor the past while creating her own brand of destiny. She discovers answers in everyday act...more

Hardcover, 400 pages

Published October 27th 2003 by G.P. Putnam's Sons

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Feb 06, 2009 Jeana rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction-memiors

Reading this book is like sitting down to lunch with someone you hardly know and making a new friend. I happen to love Amy Tan's novels. I also like to read about writers and how they got their breaks. This memior/musings/essay book held a lot of the magic that is found in Joy Luck Club/Kitchen God's Wife with a lot of reality and the daily suffering of a writer.

I particularly enjoyed reading about Tan's mother (but of course it's the crazy/hard-lifed mothers that make Joy Luck and Kitchen God's...more

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Nov 01, 2008 Eileen rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: writers

I highly recommend this book to all writers as well as those interested in the “evolution” of a writer. I truly enjoyed Amy Tan’s honest and insightful account of her “journey,” told through a series of essays and autobiographical sketches.

I especially appreciated Tan’s essay, “Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects,” in which she rejects the widespread belief that writers come in colors – and those colors do not mix and match. It is a biting critique of those who would dictate who is qu...more

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Mar 25, 2010 Kandice rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I have read all of Tan's books, usually within days of release, and this was a great way to "get to know her better". You can guess at a lot of her personal life just by reading her books, with the exception of Saving Fish from Drowning: A Novel, but it was still interesting to see just what was real and what was fiction.

There was a lot of repetetiveness, but that was to be expected. It says right on the description that these are mostly personal essays and speeches written over a period of year...more I have read all of Tan's books, usually within days of release, and this was a great way to "get to know her better". You can guess at a lot of her personal life just by reading her books, with the exception of Saving Fish from Drowning: A Novel, but it was still interesting to see just what was real and what was fiction.

There was a lot of repetetiveness, but that was to be expected. It says right on the description that these are mostly personal essays and speeches written over a period of years. Things that are very important to you personally will keep coming up. Especially since those essays and speeches were originally meant as stand alones. It didn't bother me at all. Again, it just made it more clear which events had the biggest impact on Tan as a person, and in some cases, a writer.

As much as I enjoyed each entry, with the exception of Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects which I found a little too "instructive", my favorite parts were her stories about the band she belongs to, The Rock Bottom Remainders. Stephen King is a member of that band and my favorite writer, so all the little things she said about him and his wife Tabby were like bonuses for me. I was thrilled to find those references where I had not expected them.

The best entry, in my opinion, was The Opposite of Fate which chronicled her illness which went undiagnosed for years. She made it clear that doctors can make mistakes, and that we, as patients, have a responsibility and a right to do our own research. With the internet, information is available to us that our forefathers would have killed for. Actually, that some died without, to tell the truth. Had Tan not done her own research, after being told repeatedly, she had no known illness, she would not have been treated for a late stage case of Lyme disease that came very close to robbing us of her talent. I, for one, am very thankful for her stubborness and tenactiy. I would hate to lose her and can't wait to read whatever she writes next.(less)

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Apr 19, 2007 Katey rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: biographyandauto-biography, non-fiction

"My mother believed in God's will for many years. It was if she had turned on a celestial faucet and goodness kept pouring out. She said it was faith that kept all these good things coming our way, only I thought she said 'fate,' because she couldn't pronounce that 'th' sound in 'faith.'
And later, I discovered that maybe it was fate all along, that faith was just an illusion that somehow you're in control. I found out the most *I* could have was hope, and with that I was not denying any possibil...more

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Nov 20, 2008 Sundurra rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I just read it because my mother recommended it to me. This book is clearly written for the author's fans. Since I had no idea who she was, I found it quite self exalting.
The author describes her life and the events that inspired her novels, which were inspired by her mother and grandmother's struggles in China.
A recurring topic throughout the book is the minority issues of being a chinese american and how she has been influenced by both cultures. Another important aspect of the book has to do w...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Karen Hansen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Amy Tan has compiled a wonderful collection of shorts in her autobiographical collection, The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings. This is a must read for any Tan fan, but really stretches beyond and I feel would be of interest to many, not just fans of her books.

Most of the stories revolve around lessons that Tan has learned through her life experiences, including things that she is still figuring out and processing. She is never preachy, the book is more of just her life, as the way she has e...more

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Jul 15, 2012 Philippa rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Review published in the New Zealand Herald, December 2003

The Opposite of Fate
Amy Tan
(Flamingo, $39.99)

Reviewed by Philippa Jamieson

Read from cover to cover, or just dip in, but either way you'll probably get hooked. Amy Tan calls this a 'book of musings', and has pieced together a lively patchwork of essays, speeches, letters, journal excerpts and other writings into a candid, funny and highly readable memoir.
The Opposite of Fate builds up a picture of the major events and circumstances of Tan's...more

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Jun 10, 2012 Sherri rated it 5 of 5 stars

In the final chapter of this book, Amy Tan tells of her struggle to find out what was making her so ill. After spending thousands of dollars on tests and seeing many doctors, she finally discovered herself what was wrong: she had Lyme disease. Getting the medical community to provide the tests to prove the diagnosis and then getting the appropriate treatment was another issue all together. Tan tells of her struggles and her final semi-cure with hope and fear chasing each word.

This is much like t...more

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Aug 08, 2011 SwensonBooks rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: jill

Reading Amy Tan's The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings warms the writer's soul. With the same exquisite writerly voice that characterizes her wonderful novels, Amy speaks to readers who write about the creative process. Her first book of non-fiction, it reveals the power of moral ambiguity in finding a focus for one's life work.

What disturbs you as a writer? What makes you uncomfortable? With what do you struggle with to make meaning of without resolution? This is where the writing begins.

C...more

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Feb 21, 2011 YingYing rated it 5 of 5 stars

After reading her memoir and finding out that so much in her books was based on her life, I empathized with Tan even more. I especially loved the stories about her mother's dementia, as it shows the true connection between mother and daughter. The answer to "When will you be home?" is not a specific time and date, but "We're almost home, because we love you so so much and can't wait to see you."
Parts of the memoir were funny, parts were truly sad, but I also empathized with Tan's childhood (alt...more

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May 22, 2013 Clark Carlton rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Amy Tan is one of the finest American writers we have. I am making it a point not to call her one of our finest women writers or Chinese-American writers or a writer of color, an issue which is explored in this memoir. This book may be a special taste -- you might need to be someone who loves her work and is interested in writing to fully appreciate it. Amy tells her stories with certainty and elegance and never overstates anything. I listened to this book which was all the better for having the...more

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Feb 14, 2011 Andrea rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: z2011_read_list, nonfiction, writing-lit-crit, 0-audiobook

LOVED this! Amy Tan collects a number of essays, reflections, and speeches into an interesting glimpse into her life, her inspirations, and the process of writing. Long ago my friends came up with the idea that the absolute worst thing you could say to another human was “I hope your life is like an Amy Tan novel”. Having listened to this book (I’m loving audiobooks for my commute), I have to say “WOW. Apparently Amy Tan’s life *IS* like an Amy Tan novel”.

There was a lot of interesting detail he...more

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Apr 15, 2008 Lisa rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: chinese-american, writers

Recommended to Lisa by: me

Shelves: memoirs

I really enjoyed this book. It was so different from the books I normally read. Amy Tan has led an interesting life! It was a little slow 3/4 of the way through, but I enjoyed reading about her life and relationship with her mother. Seeking the "American Dream" and the chinese culture of honoring and obeying your parents are so polar opposite. It's understandable that first generation kids grow up very confused.

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Mar 18, 2012 Stephen Gallup rated it 5 of 5 stars

Despite the subtitle, I bought this book expecting it to be more of a memoir than it actually is. I think Amy Tan's main purpose in writing it was to set the record straight on a variety of topics, beginning with an inaccurate summary of her life that turned up in an edition of CliffsNotes. She does so in essays that directly address the points that need to be made, and also tosses in other writings that range from a college commencement address to an item she wrote for the newspaper when eight...more Despite the subtitle, I bought this book expecting it to be more of a memoir than it actually is. I think Amy Tan's main purpose in writing it was to set the record straight on a variety of topics, beginning with an inaccurate summary of her life that turned up in an edition of CliffsNotes. She does so in essays that directly address the points that need to be made, and also tosses in other writings that range from a college commencement address to an item she wrote for the newspaper when eight years old.

As such, it's somewhat disjointed and uneven. Some parts appealed to me much more than others.

Early on, she provides some personal and family history, which includes plenty of elements readers will recognize from her fiction (a character who goes one day each year without speaking, for example, and most certainly the memorable voice of her mother). This is followed by a section in which she argues that readers ought not assume that her stories are autobiographical. (Maybe they aren't, but reading between the lines in yet another section one can conclude that she sees a self-portrait in The Kitchen God's Wife.) There's also an eloquent rebuttal to the people in publishing and educational circles who insist on pidgeon-holing her as a representative of her ethnic group, gender, color, etc. and looking to her for politically correct lessons. That kind of writing, she feels (and I agree) amounts to propaganda, not literature. She says, "I write stories about life as I have misunderstood it. To be sure, it's a Chinese-American life, but that's the only one I've had so far."

There are points at which it seems the lady protests too much. She mentions a journalist friend who says, "Any attention is valuable ... If you receive any, you should be grateful." I rather agree with that as well, because Tan's path to literary success appears to have been unusually smooth. Better to be misunderstood by some harebrained people than completely ignored. This is not to suggest that she doesn't deserve success; she emphatically does. But she too acknowledges that she has been lucky.

Her luck has not been only literary, since apparently she's had more than her share of close brushes with death. For me, the final section is devastating. It describes a mysterious illness that overtook her and the frustratingly slow process of getting a diagnosis. Because of the story described in my own book, I recognized her discovery that most doctors and even professional medical societies are clueless when presented with something out of the ordinary. I recognized the cynical but helpful voices she found on Internet discussion boards, and her conclusion that, rare or not, this thing afflicts a heck of a lot of other people.

I found most of this book utterly fascinating. It makes me want to go back and reread her novels. It confirms an earlier impression that Amy Tan is someone I would be glad to know. Most importantly, in discussing her life and what has been important to her, she shows how much of the joys and fears of this existence are common experiences.(less)

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Feb 04, 2013 Erik Lee rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A unique look inside the mind that wrote The Joyluck Club.

It's largely about her and her relationship with her mother as well as another aspect of her life that she cannot seem to ignore: supernaturalism. Both elements are well explored in her novels, so it's no surprise that they play a vital role in her own personal life as well.

Well written, although I could have enjoyed more on the craft of writing (for that, read: Stephen King's book on writing), it was nonetheless enjoyable.

Some tidbits...more

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Feb 02, 2013 Ruth rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: those wishing a relaxing read!

Recommended to Ruth by: My daughter Susan

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Aa Jeana Watters wrote in her review it made you feel as if you were having coffee and talking with a new and wonderful friend. I have read all of her books and have never been disappointed! In this book particularly, I enjoyed the inter-action and the love/scorn relatinship between Amy and her mother. Despite her protests to the contrary, I do believe there was much to be learned about the Chinese culture in this writing. The Mother seemed very successful in maki...more

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Sep 21, 2012 Joshua Gross rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book started out well, but after awhile it became a little tiresome. This seems to be an almost random collection of essays written by Amy Tan for various reasons that get less and less interesting as I progressed. Some of them were really interesting, and I learned all kinds of things about Ms. Tan, but some of them were kind of similar to ones I'd already read, or were just long and not that interesting. Some of them were very very funny, though, and more than one were especially insightf...more

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Mar 19, 2012 Christina rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was surprisingly interesting to read -- a series of autobiographical essays written by Amy Tan. I have to confess I have never read any of her books (but plan to now), but found the story of her upbringing and the way it affected her life fascinating -- her mom was married to a "bad man" in China, committed adultery with Amy Tan's father and ended up in prison because of it. When she got out, she wrote Tan's dad a letter. Amy's father was in California and told her to come. He married her....more

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Sep 24, 2012 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

As a general rule, I don't normally read this type of book (author's musings, ideas, thoughts on things). However, I decided that if I were ever to read one, Amy Tan would probably be an author whose thoughts I might find interesting to read. That and the fact that I am very comfortable with her writing style alleviated my usual reservations. I was rewarded for my optimism. Much of the writing is in story format (which is what she does best). The fact that she was revealing private details of he...more

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Feb 14, 2012 Michelle rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Amy Tan's obsession with reading and writing inspires me. I love getting an inside view of how writing fiction has transformed her. She describes the way good endings "quietly but perceptibly lifted themselves and me out of our skins," reminding me of the way everything looks different when the sun suddenly comes out, the transformation in a breath held and then exhaled. She writes the most intriguing interpretation of "voice" I have ever encountered: "The voice is not merely the language, the p...more

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Jan 05, 2011 Kerstin Olcott rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: reviewed

I think to really appreciate this book you would have to be an Amy Tan fan and I have not read any of her fiction. A lot of the first half of the book felt a bit like reading someone's somewhat self-indulgent therapy notes. This book is basically a collection of essays that are thrown together in a scattered and redundant fashion. The last essay might explain this, as it reveals that Tan is suffering from Lyme Disease. This book definitely needed a better editor. That said, there were a few thin...more

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Mar 05, 2013 Sandy Pfefferkorn rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book is a memoir of Amy Tan's writing life and also her reading life. Tan started reading at a very young age, and the public library was very much a part of her life. Although her mother wanted her to become a doctor, she chose to major in English instead. She said that being an English major reading the myriad of required literature spoiled her interest in reading fiction and she did not pick up a contemporary novel until 1985. When she started reading again, she explored many works writt...more

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Apr 12, 2011 Catherine rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

Three days in advance of a local lecture by Amy Tan I decided to read her nonfiction book (and shockingly finished it in two). This is not exactly a memoir; it is a collection of personal essays that have the effect of a non-linear memoir. Written at different points in time and for different purposes, there is a certain amount of repetition. I read most of her novels when they were first published, but skipped the last one because of my conviction that the plots of all are quite similar – appar...more

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May 27, 2012 Nicole rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Tan fans, folks with a burgeoning interest in writing

Recommended to Nicole by: The Dusty Bookshelf, Lawrence, Kansas

This is less a memoir and more an exploration by Tan of her own (and others') writing. She discusses her reasons for writing and her inspirations. I now have three new books (Lolita, Jane Eyre, and Love Medicine) on the stack thanks to Tan's chapter, "My Love Affair with Vladimir Nabokov," on her favorite reads. Tan also examines one of the main themes that put her on the literary map: The relationship between mother and daughter. To some, this might get tiresome or even trivial. However, I foun...more

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Feb 01, 2011 Ruth rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

interesting quotes

"… it's lonely to go through life with your heartaches. They are people who believe that they can find soe sort of redemption, if only their story is told to the world, if only the can get it off their chest."

I found this to be true when I initially read it. Sounds so simple, but true. Then later I read an article about the abundance of unnecessary memoirs. At the time I agreed with the person writing the article, but after re-reading this quote I guess I can understand some pe...more

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Jan 15, 2012 Janet Bernice rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

An interesting peek into Ms. Tan's world of writing, living, growing up Chinese-American; making a movie from a best-seller, etc. If you like anything Amy Tan has written thus far, you will enjoy taking an inside look at how she accomplishes her work, her muses, her beliefs, her experiences.

1/15/12 - I have now finished this book and it was a great journey. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to know what it has been like for one very successful writer - the ups and downs, the many challen...more

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Oct 07, 2012 Laura Noakes rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 4-star, adult, memoir, non-fiction, read-in-2012

Now I have never read one of Amy Tan’s books, nor even heard of her as an author, but I found this book an interesting, complex and inspiring read. Amy has the power to draw you in with her writing, to make you feel like an old friend even when she covered some controversal and normally taboo topics in honest, frank ways. I came out of this book wanting to read her fiction books desperately and reading this re-affirmed my belief that biographys and autobiographys/memoirs are such a valuable read...more

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Mar 07, 2009 Sheila rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Good book – she writes a self-deprecating memoir. Her family history was very interesting.

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Nov 24, 2010 Shirley rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It has been a number of years since I read The Joy Luck Club. I wish I had reread it before reading The Opposite of Fate: A Book of Musings. This book allows the reader to see how some of Amy Tan's real-life experiences have influenced her tales of fiction. Amy Tan takes the reader on a voyage into the mind of a writer. In writing and giving speeches, instructors advise you to select topics of which you have knowledge. Amy Tan achieves a flawless blend of knowledge, research, and imagination.

A f...more

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Mar 17, 2013 Jen rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The Opposite of Fate is a thoughtfully-written, fascinating collection of essays about the author’s life and work. Having just read The Hundred Secret Senses, many of her life stories were beautifully familiar, as her relationships, her tragedies, and her ghosts crossover from fact to fiction seamlessly. I suspect that is the gift of a great writer. This book is the gift of a great writer, and I am inspired to add more Amy Tan to my reading list. Much thanks to my friend Judith for recommending...more

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About Amy Tan

Amy Tan (Chinese: 譚恩美; pinyin: Tán Ēnměi; born February 19, 1952) is an American writer whose works explore mother-daughter relationships and what it means to grow up as a first generation Asian American. In 1993, Tan's adaptation of her most popular fiction work, The Joy Luck Club, became a commercially successful film.

She has written several other books, including The Kitchen God's Wife, The Hun...more

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Quotes from The Opposite of Fate: ...

“Thanks to my mother, I was raised to have a morbid imagination. When I was a child, she often talked about death as warning, as an unavoidable matter of fact. Little Debbie's mom down the block might say, 'Honey, look both ways before crossing the street.' My mother's version: 'You don't look, you get smash flat like sand dab.' (Sand dabs were the cheap fish we bought live in the market, distinguished in my mind by their two eyes affixed on one side of their woebegone cartoon faces.)

The warnings grew worse, depending on the danger at hand. Sex education, for example, consisted of the following advice: 'Don't ever let boy kiss you. You do, you can't stop. Then you have baby. You put baby in garbage can. Police find you, put you in jail, then you life over, better just kill youself.” — 41 people liked it

“Lack of clarity is a writer's truth.” — 4 people liked it

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