false 5121289 4 <b>When <I>New York Times</i> bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire...</b><P>What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin.<P>In thirty-five hilarious essays, <I>New York Times</i> bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news.<P>But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series.<P>Uncomfortably honest, <I>I Hate Your Guts</i> is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers.<P>Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard.<P>Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off.<P>For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, <I>I Hate Your Guts</i> is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit. 5188079 4 11 2008 I Hate Your Guts total:75|5:25|4:21|3:20|2:6|1:3| 75 284 130 15 4 0 false false Fri Jul 17 16:16:56 -0700 2009 Fri Jul 17 16:31:36 -0700 2009 more...]]> 4 1 false false Sun Aug 09 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Tue Aug 11 12:47:07 -0700 2009 Tue Aug 11 12:50:08 -0700 2009 5 0 false false Sun Dec 28 00:00:00 -0800 2008 Tue Dec 30 20:23:10 -0800 2008 Tue Dec 30 20:24:48 -0800 2008 5 0 false false Sun Feb 22 00:00:00 -0800 2009 Mon Mar 02 11:06:25 -0800 2009 Mon Mar 02 11:08:39 -0800 2009 0 0 false false Mon Jan 19 00:00:00 -0800 2009 Sat Jan 10 09:28:52 -0800 2009 Mon Jan 19 15:01:16 -0800 2009 honest?!? Full of filthy language, so not recommended for the faint-of-heart, the prim-and-proper, or impressionable youths.]]> 3 0 false false Wed Dec 03 00:00:00 -0800 2008 Thu Jan 01 16:09:21 -0800 2009 Thu Jan 01 16:10:06 -0800 2009 5 0 false false Thu Dec 11 08:53:57 -0800 2008 Thu Dec 11 08:53:57 -0800 2008 5 0 false false Fri Jul 03 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Fri Jul 03 00:19:37 -0700 2009 Fri Jul 03 00:20:15 -0700 2009 5 0 false false Tue Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 2008 Mon Jan 12 12:39:04 -0800 2009 Mon Jan 12 12:39:45 -0800 2009 1 0 false false Sat Jun 13 23:37:54 -0700 2009 Mon Jul 06 20:28:30 -0700 2009 5 0 false false Thu Nov 27 00:00:00 -0800 2008 Sat Nov 22 11:50:45 -0800 2008 Tue Dec 16 20:08:38 -0800 2008 5 0 false false Sat Nov 15 05:40:51 -0800 2008 Sat Nov 15 05:42:56 -0800 2008 4 1 false false Fri Nov 07 09:41:25 -0800 2008 Fri Nov 07 09:41:44 -0800 2008 5 0 false false Tue May 19 04:46:26 -0700 2009 Fri Jan 16 14:12:18 -0800 2009 Tue May 19 04:46:26 -0700 2009 5 0 false false Mon Nov 10 05:53:57 -0800 2008 Mon Nov 10 05:57:00 -0800 2008 5 0 false false Mon Nov 16 16:49:28 -0800 2009 Mon Nov 16 16:49:28 -0800 2009 0 0 false false Fri Nov 13 10:49:38 -0800 2009 Fri Nov 13 10:49:38 -0800 2009 2 0 false false Tue Oct 27 09:43:43 -0700 2009 Tue Oct 27 09:43:43 -0700 2009 0 0 false false Sun Oct 25 18:55:05 -0700 2009 Sun Oct 25 18:55:05 -0700 2009 0 0 false false Mon Oct 12 19:46:16 -0700 2009 Mon Oct 12 19:46:16 -0700 2009 http://www.goodreads.com/book_link/follow/8?book_id=5121289