Foreskin's Lament

Jan 17, 2008 Sarah rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2008-reads

Philip Roth and Augusten Burroughs had a baby. As one might expect, it's in no mood. The only real surprise is that they would name it "Shalom."

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Nov 01, 2007 Edy rated it 5 of 5 stars

(from page 71) "I wonder sometimes if he-- and I-- suffer from a metaphysical form of Stockholm syndrome. Held captive by this Man for thousands of years, we now praise Him, defend Him, excuse Him, sometimes kill for Him, an army of Squeaky Frommes swearing allegiance to their Charlie in the sky. My relationship with God has been an endless cycle not of the celebrated 'faith followed by doubt,' but of appeasement followed by revolt; placation followed by indifference; please, please, please, fol...more

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Jan 27, 2008 Gwen rated it 5 of 5 stars

I loved loved LOVED this memoir. Auslander is very, very bitter that he was raised an Orthodox Jew with an abusive father and, in his opinion, an abusive Father as well. He sees God as an asshole who exists just to fuck with people, and he's pretty pissed off about it. And yet he's convinced God exists, so he lives in perpetual fear that God's about to kill his son or wife or otherwise take away something he loves, just to be a dick. And so he's in a constant discussion with God: "Fuck you. But...more

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Feb 10, 2008 Abby rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Jews. Non-Jews.

Recommended to Abby by: Ira Glass?

I read this book at my parents' house in December when I was home for the holidays. My parents' house is not a fortress of great Jewry or anything, but Home With Family is certainly a Jewier place to be than, say, Apartment With Roommates (though not necessarily Aboard the 2/3 With Hasids from Brooklyn).

As noted by one of the fine ladies at Jezebel, reading Foreskin's Lament felt much like reading A Million Little Pieces, which is to say... rapturously confessional, a bit too showy. [Author:...more

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Sep 26, 2007 Matthew rated it 4 of 5 stars

I believe in God. It's been a real problem for me.

Alas, Shalom Auslander's problems with God aren't so easily shrugged off. His problems with God are all-encompassing, paralyzing, potentially life-threatening. They've followed him from birth, through adolescence, and now into adulthood, to the birth of his first child. They've followed him despite his attempts to break free of his Orthodox upbringing. They've followed him despite his attempts to embrace of his Orthodox upbringing. God, it seems,...more I believe in God. It's been a real problem for me.

Alas, Shalom Auslander's problems with God aren't so easily shrugged off. His problems with God are all-encompassing, paralyzing, potentially life-threatening. They've followed him from birth, through adolescence, and now into adulthood, to the birth of his first child. They've followed him despite his attempts to break free of his Orthodox upbringing. They've followed him despite his attempts to embrace of his Orthodox upbringing. God, it seems, just won't leave him alone.

His memoir, Foreskin's Lament, is relentless in its portrayal of this vengeful, Old Testament God. Shalom, who was taught from an early age that not only was God responsible for wars, genocide, and random acts of Biblical bullying, but also omni-present - here, there, and everywhere! - still struggles with Him in his seemingly happy adult life. He is married. He has cut himself off from his family. God has allowed him some normalcy (finally), but Shalom knows it won't last. His wife's pregnancy, he believes, is a harbinger of God's delayed vengence. He thinks: the baby will die, or his wife will die in childbirth, or they'll both die, or they'll both live and on the way home, they'll die in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. "That would be so God," he writes.

Yes, it's cynical. Yes, it's neurotic. But it's also very funny, illuminating in its descriptions of the Orthodox community, and surprisingly moving. The sections about his confused adolescence are particularly powerful. It would be a shame to classify Foreskin's Lament as simply a "Jewish book." It should appeal to anyone who has a family, anyone who grew up, anyone who just wants to be left alone to live their life, anyone who has wondered, "Why me?" and "Oh shit, what next?"

Check out the book trailer here: http://shalomauslander.com/video_fore...

"When I was a child, my parents and teachers told me about a man who was very strong...But when we didn't obey what he had commanded, he didn't like us. He hated us. Some days he hated us so much, he killed us; other days, he let other people kill us. We call these days 'holidays.'"(less)

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May 08, 2008 Lena rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

This is a fascinating and darkly funny account of one man’s attempts to live under the vengeful God he inherited as a part of his orthodox Jewish upbringing.

Shalom Auslander learned early on that the God who was watching over him was one he describes as “eternally pissed off.” As a child, he developed such fear of this vengeful Old Testament character he still spends much of his time imagining the various ways God might murder his family in punishment for his own numerous sins.

Despite the very...more

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Jan 19, 2008 marg rated it 4 of 5 stars

I went through a lot of indecision in the star givings for this one. On the one hand, a lot of it was disturbing and bothersome, and I had to skip some passages out of sheer disgust. On the other hand, it was funny, well written, thought provoking and a rather interesting examination of frumkeit. So bottom line, once I got in the second half of the book, I was a lot more interested and engaged, and I left with an overall appreciation for the book's strength.
As to Auslander himself, so sometimes...more I went through a lot of indecision in the star givings for this one. On the one hand, a lot of it was disturbing and bothersome, and I had to skip some passages out of sheer disgust. On the other hand, it was funny, well written, thought provoking and a rather interesting examination of frumkeit. So bottom line, once I got in the second half of the book, I was a lot more interested and engaged, and I left with an overall appreciation for the book's strength.
As to Auslander himself, so sometimes I got annoyed at him - his attitude toward Gd can be so immature - I didn't get what I want, so why should I bother, ie, I davened and you didn't let my aging and dimentia riddled grandmother live, what good are you, pass me the ham. Then at the same time, I totally get the feeling of the random chaos that this universe seems to run by and how futile and senseless it seems to turn to Gd when He's the one setting this into motion (ok, fine, with a lot of help from mankind, but still, it does seem like, so why are we here, then? Some sick cosmic joke? I mean, sheesh, He has nothing better to do with His time?).
I am super interested in knowing more about his family - while his annecdotes were shocking and disturbing they in many ways only confused me as to his tenuous hold on relations as well as relgion seemed to wax and wane with little clarity as to when, how, and exact gradations, but I guess nothing is so precise. It was fascinating to read about Shalom flipping out in Israel and donning a black hat though not surprisingly there was little discussion on any thought process or feeling, whereas the anti Gd stuff seems endless.
At the end of the day, what do we make of this man - in some ways he is the mouth piece for what many, I'm sure, are too scared to say - at the same time, perhaps these thoughts are best left silent, perhaps he is only encouraging a mentality and behavior that is unhealthy, perhaps there needs to be a love it or lump it attitude with Gd rather than this angry diatribe - I guess I mean I can't tell if he's a hero or pathetic, worthy of sympathy or antipathy - he is cnfused and complicated and so is this whole issue. Does a catharsis of such nature have a place in the world, our world specifically, or is this destructive and therefore meant to be ignored/shunned etc.
Anyway I have to say, sikkum, that the book has some awesome lines that are just hysterical and it certainly got me feeling - anger, sadness, shock, horror, dismay, etc. So can I give it to the two stars I wanted to when he gets into his porn stage? Or worth the four stars I wanted to give it for sheer well written eloquence and heart felt sincere anguish?(less)

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Dec 21, 2007 Alicia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Man, I feel like I was waiting for this book forever! Auslander, author of Beware of God and frequent contributor to This American Life (note to my dad: you heard him do one of his pieces--I think the one about how he wasn't allowed to throw away anything with his name on it, b/c Shalom is one of God's names, or maybe it was the one about how he watched over the dead for a part-time job), has written a caustic and funny memoir about growing up religious, and how all his conflicts came to a head...more

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Dec 04, 2007 Benbo rated it 4 of 5 stars

I would have given this book five stars, but God may have frowned upon that and punished me for it by sicking a virus on my computer. That would be so God.

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Mar 12, 2011 Tung rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Auslander is a Jewish writer who grew up within the confines of a strict Orthodox upbringing; this book is the memoir of how that upbringing shaped the twisted relationship he currently has with God: one I would describe as hate-hate. Auslander has the neurotic mindset that orthodox religion makes no sense, and that if God does in fact exist, God is spiteful and mean and out to screw with everyone; and Auslander wants very much to write and say these nasty things about God, but believes that if...more Auslander is a Jewish writer who grew up within the confines of a strict Orthodox upbringing; this book is the memoir of how that upbringing shaped the twisted relationship he currently has with God: one I would describe as hate-hate. Auslander has the neurotic mindset that orthodox religion makes no sense, and that if God does in fact exist, God is spiteful and mean and out to screw with everyone; and Auslander wants very much to write and say these nasty things about God, but believes that if he does so, God will most certainly cause nasty things to happen to Auslander or to his wife or as we see throughout the book, to his soon-to-be-born son. I have completely conflicting opinions of this book. On one hand, I enjoyed Auslander’s description of his struggle growing up in an Orthodox home and the many small acts of rebellion he carried out as a child and the struggles he had emotionally and mentally in carrying out these rebellions. The struggles felt real, and the scenes he related are funny. For example, he describes discovering pornography for the first time and how that made him feel; and then he describes his guilt and shame over enjoying the pornography and how that led him to burning it in his backyard. In another scene, he describes eating McDonald’s for the first time and breaking kosher rules and the rush he received in doing so – and then of course blaming the resulting stomach ailments as punishment from God. Auslander also describes the deep conflicts he had in living in an Orthodox home that was strict about things like no electricity on the Sabbath, and yet his father was an alcoholic who used to beat him and his brother. I expect my memoirs to reveal a person’s life, and describe well all of the personal and emotional and mental struggles, and this book certainly does that. On the other hand, Auslander is for me, completely unlikable throughout the book. He makes no attempt to have a balanced view of his parents, and instead paints them and the rabbis from his religious schools as one-dimensional. Aside from his wife, he viewed the whole world as a foil. To me, Auslander does not seek to grow from his experiences or even attempt to understand them; he simply seeks to relate what happened and what he did and trusts the reader to agree with him that he is awesome and that his family and God are terrible. Auslander doesn’t once seek to examine his own personal shortcomings. For instance, it’s clear throughout the book that Auslander has an addiction to pornography; blaming that addiction on God rather than on his own character flaw is ridiculous. The book ends with a scene that caused me such great anger, I had to wait a few days before writing this review so that my review would not be tainted by how the closing scene made me feel. SPOILER: Auslander’s son celebrates his first birthday, and on his cake, Auslander has the baker write this completely nasty sentiment about his parents. For someone to have such deep anger and spite and hatred that they would inscribe it on their child’s first cake – it very negatively affected my opinion of Auslander and his memoir/screed. Overall, there is a lot to like in this book, and also a lot to dislike. In the end, for me this is a pass.(less)

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Apr 20, 2008 Cliff Etters rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: anyone who's ever wondered why the Bible doesn't make sense

Even though it took me a couple of weeks to get through this book (I've a bad tendency lately to pick up and put down books, letting them go unread for as much as a week before starting them up again), I found Foreskin's Lament an entertaining read, though a little repetitve.

I definitely identify with the author, being brought up in the church (Southern Baptist/Methodist depending on the year), and wondering at the blatent contradictions and conflicts, yet being told that "God is great! God is...more

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Feb 11, 2008 karen reyes rated it 4 of 5 stars

I loved the title of this book, and had to read it. I ended up really enjoying it. Reading it took me only a few days, which I love with my busy lifestyle! In the beginning I felt the author whining too much, but hung in there and glad I did. As you travel through the book you begin to understand the relevance of his complaints and woes in life. I also found that many of the taboos in the orthodox Jewish faith are prevalent in strict Christianity as well. It seems that religion can screw up so m...more

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Feb 09, 2008 Jennifer rated it 3 of 5 stars

I bought this book thinking the writing style would be a combination of David Sedaris, and AJ Jacobs (he wrote "know it all" and "the year of living bibically"). I'd also heard some pieces read by the author on NPR, so I figured it was a good bet for purchase.

I liked the book's writing style, which made sense based I what I knew - very conversational. That said, I was a little overwhelmed by the author's view of religion and God. He was raised as a Orthodox Jew, and seems to want to leave that b...more

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Jul 14, 2008 Jim rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shalom Auslander tells the story of his life as an Orthodox Jew that breaks free, at least to some extent, of the rigid trappings of that life. He has a perspective on God as described in the Bible that I'm surprised is not more common: That of God as a cruel, petty tormentor, very similar in behavior to an bitter old man.

The difference between Shalom and me is that he grew up in an environment in which his religion was all-pervasive instead of just something that happened on Sundays. It's not v...more

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Jun 10, 2008 Kim rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a hilarious quote. "By the time my junior year of high school came around, it was becoming painfully obvious to me that none of the niggas in my yeshiva knew shit about motherfucking shit. It was 1987, and I had just discovered rap. 'Did you hurt your leg?' my mother asked, forcing a yarmulke on my head. 'Why are you limping?' "Why you gotta be like that?' I asked.

Okay, I finished it. I have to give it four stars because I would feel guilty giving five to a book that repeatedly refers to...more

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May 25, 2008 Becki Chiasson rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, memoir, nonfiction

I like Shalom Auslander's segments on "This American Life" -- he's always very funny. I was sort of hoping for more of the same lightly self-deprecating humor that he does so well. Turns out it's actually much closer to self-loathing, and it's not particularly funny.

The book's "God sucks, God hates me" refrain also gets old pretty quickly. I'm not particularly religious, so my objection isn't to that at all. It's just because Auslander comes off sounding like a petulant child with no personal gr...more

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Aug 17, 2007 Megan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Auslander grew up in an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community, in a dysfunctional family, and the two forces of faith and family drive him in adulthood. Drive him far away, very fast. In this memoir he tells of hilarious dilemma of hating religion but believing in the vengeful God of his childhood. His stories of his religious and family life growing up are poignant and funny. If he sometimes hits the same note a few too many time, you will be laughing too much to overly mind. In addition to the great...more

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Jan 02, 2010 Mazel rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: roman

Jeune époux et futur papa, Shalom pourrait être le plus heureux des hommes. Mais l'enfance peut commettre bien des ravages... Élevé dans la plus stricte orthodoxie juive, il en a gardé une vision très personnelle du " Tout-Puissant " et une paranoïa aiguë.

Trente-cinq ans que cela dure. Trente-cinq ans d'une relation complexe, faite d'incompréhension et de pure terreur.

Alors, à l'adolescence, Shalom s'est rebellé : gavage de hot dogs, lectures pornos... Et il a attendu, tremblant, le châtiment...more

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May 06, 2013 Bjorn rated it 4 of 5 stars

On the one hand, I'd sworn off BOATS (Based On A True Story) books a while ago, after a few too many true tales of overcoming hardship/drugs/abuse/athlete's foot had made me want to tell every writer of such books that they deserved every bit of it. Plus, when telling the story of his life Auslander does tend to violate the "Thou Shalt Not Provide TMI" commandment a few too many times.

On the other hand, he has a saving grace (heh) which is his humour - furious yet sharp, bitter yet hopeful. Grow...more On the one hand, I'd sworn off BOATS (Based On A True Story) books a while ago, after a few too many true tales of overcoming hardship/drugs/abuse/athlete's foot had made me want to tell every writer of such books that they deserved every bit of it. Plus, when telling the story of his life Auslander does tend to violate the "Thou Shalt Not Provide TMI" commandment a few too many times.

On the other hand, he has a saving grace (heh) which is his humour - furious yet sharp, bitter yet hopeful. Growing up in a very strict Jewish community and a very strict household, he was told from infancy that not being 100% kosher in every way would have God The Father smite him, and shown at home that not keeping 100% in line would have Father The God beat him or dump a bowl of hot soup over him. The result is a person with God-based paranoia; the problem isn't that he doesn't believe in God - the problem is that he's convinced that God a) exists and b) is out to get him. If he eats a burger, someone he loves will die. If he reads a Penthouse, someone he loves will die. If he watches the Rangers game on Sabbath, God will make them lose. As he puts it,

I suffer from a metaphysical form of Stockholm syndrome. Held captive by this Man for thousands of years, we now praise Him, defend Him, excuse Him, sometimes kill for Him, an army of Squeaky Frommes swearing allegiance to their Charlie in the sky. My relationship with God has been an endless cycle not of the celebrated "faith followed by doubt," but of appeasement followed by revolt; placation followed by indifference... The people who raised me will say that I am not religious. They are mistaken. What I am not is observant. But I am painfully, cripplingly, incurably, miserably religious (...) I believe in God. It's been a real problem for me.

The borders between personal testimony and satire are blurry, to say the least. At his worst, he comes across as a miserable, bitter whiner; at his best, he's a brilliant black humourist, cutting to the core of both his personal and society's problem with the things we do and blame on God. He's a modern man, he knows how everything works, yet when he finds out he's about to become a father, he panics. If he has his son circumcised and accepted into his family, will he himself eventually become that which he's been trying his entire adult life to get away from? If he doesn't, will God punish him by killing his son or his wife in childbirth? Etc.

I've tried to forget, I've tried to reframe Him, to rewrite Him, to move on. I read Sam Harris, I read Richard Dawkins. It all makes sense, but none of it helps.

The ending is uplifting, in a darkly neurotic way. After comparing himself to Isaac earlier in the book - the kid whose father tried to kill him in God's name - he sees himself as Moses. The foreskin in the title isn't just his Jewishness, it's him and his wife, both coming from abusive backgrounds, cut off from their pasts, on their own diaspora, and having to build a brand new promised land free of everything they fled from. Like Moses, he doesn't think he'll actually get to live there himself, but he's determined that his son will make it.

And Moses did say, - Blow me, and he died there in the desert with a smile upon his face.

I'm still sworn off BOATS, but I think I'll allow myself to break that commandment for Shalom Auslander. His non-fiction memoir isn't quite as funny as his fiction debut, Beware of God, but it makes up for it in honesty and tenacity. (less)

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Apr 27, 2013 M M rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shalom Auslander, lapsed Chasid, estranged from his family, fights God daily. There is much pain and disbelief and rage in him, and he constantly feels God's interference in his life. He is filled with vitriol. He seethes with venom. A lesser man would have abandoned his faith in the Omniscient long ago - surely it's simpler to give up on an ugly and selfish and needy deity than obey His erratic and irrational strictures. But Auslander cannot take that easy way out. He is constantly afraid that...more

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Apr 06, 2013 Michael Soros rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: religion, autobiography

First off - the book is very well written. Very smooth running and well constructed. I was looking for a humorous book to lighten the load of the other books I am in the middle of. I thought I would be laughing out loud as they say as one would with 'Beautiful People' for example. This is no 'Beautiful People'. His obsessive self concerns and his suffocating neurosis never stops. I know he tries to take the comedic aspect of his upbringing in an orthodox Jewish community but it seems to have twi...more

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Feb 09, 2012 Simon Lipson rated it 5 of 5 stars

Read this a while ago. I have to confess that I'm predisposed towards anyone who is prepared to question religion - especially someone brought up within its suffocating orthodoxy - and come out the other side. Auslander was just another sad kid, the kind I see wandering around Edgware and Stamford Hill with their curly locks and idiotic tassels hanging out of their shirts, their tragic, dowdy, be-sheiteled mothers pushing prams and tugging another fifteen clones behind them (all getting ready fo...more

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Nov 18, 2011 Noce rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: narrativa-americana

Una volta credevo in Dio. Poi ho scoperto Auslander

E ho capito che il mio dialogo con Dio è assolutamente irrilevante. E anche il vostro lo è, se avete pensato almeno una volta nella vita che il detto “Piove sempre sul bagnato”, sia solo un modo gentile per dire che se Dio è là, e vi ha fatto oggetto di sì tanto accanimento è veramente uno stronzo.

Ma Auslander è molto più preparato. Perché lui con Dio ci parla ogni giorno, e progetta la sua vita a venire in base alle eventuali vendette di un Dio...more

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Mar 16, 2011 Brian rated it 2 of 5 stars

Eh. Don't bother.

'Memoirs' of a guy raised as an Orthodox Jew, multiple times lapsed and recovered, finally marries another lapsed Jew, they have a boy and he struggles with the circumcision decision. So I wanted to read this because I'm a big This American Life fan, and Shalom has had a few stories on there recently that I enjoyed. I knew that one or two of them actually came from this book, so thought it might have other goodies inside as well. Well, the best chapters were the body-watching ep...more

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Oct 16, 2008 Hannah rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: jewish, memoir

Be forewarned: dude is ang-ry. Like, beyond the usual level of angst most of us former frummies have about growing up with mandatory morning prayer and without pepperoni pizza and Saturday morning cartoons. Armed with that warning, drop everything and read this. It's a searing, hilarious look at the ways Orthodox Jews manipulate their kids and guilt them into all kinds of ridiculous hang-ups. And if you've ever naughtily flipped a light switch on and off, you know what I'm talking about.

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Nov 13, 2007 Danny Evans rated it 5 of 5 stars

The highest compliment I can pay to FORESKIN'S LAMENT is this: No book I have ever read has so perfectly captured what my childhood looked like.

Like Auslander, I grew up in a suffocating Jewish environment and ultimately grew to resent the heavy-handedness of it all. Whether you were raised as a Catholic, a Mormon, a Hindu, a Muslim or any other faith, I think Auslander's characterization of the role of relentless religiosity in the mind of a young boy will be accessible to you.

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Nov 07, 2011 Khaya rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs, intense-sad-dark-or-bleak, jewish, spiritualityreligion

It's challenging to give a rating to this book, so I'll just stick with a nice neutral three. As an Orthodox Jew, it's hard to keep my own feelings out of it, feelings which fell all over the map. So I guess three is a fair rating, since love-hate is probably the best description of my reading experience.

I loved the writing. Some of the lines were laugh-out-loud funny ("Geographically speaking, Israel has only two seasons: Holy Crap It's Hot, and Holy Crap It's Cold."), and I loved a style he us...more It's challenging to give a rating to this book, so I'll just stick with a nice neutral three. As an Orthodox Jew, it's hard to keep my own feelings out of it, feelings which fell all over the map. So I guess three is a fair rating, since love-hate is probably the best description of my reading experience.

I loved the writing. Some of the lines were laugh-out-loud funny ("Geographically speaking, Israel has only two seasons: Holy Crap It's Hot, and Holy Crap It's Cold."), and I loved a style he used which might almost be called poetic at times. And I should be ashamed to admit this I guess, but there are times when my relationship with God is not all that different from Shalom's. Sure, I'm a heck of a lot more committed to observing the commandments than he is, but I do find myself railing at God in low moments and wondering when He plans to drop the other shoe on me. Shalom gave voice to this in a way no author I've read has.

Here's what I didn't love and sometimes hated. Although I sympathized with Shalom's horrific family dysfunction and tried not to judge him, there were times when the self-pity and one-dimensional perspective got on my nerves. And although this may sound trivial, I didn't get the Slim Jims appeal. As I nibbled my anticlimactic kosher food while reading this I thought, do I wish I were eating a Slim Jim? The answer was, no, not particularly. Okay, clearly Shalom's rebellion went much deeper and the non-kosher food was merely symbolic, but I think he failed at getting me to see that. There was a line which I can't quote verbatim but came across to me as, why can't my family love me even though I love non-kosher food? To anyone who grew up Orthodox, this is a highly simplistic and facile understanding of what's going on here. I know it has to be more complicated than that, Shalom's parents could surely tell you it's more complicated than that, and I suspect even Shalom himself knows it. But you wouldn't know it from reading the book.

And that's where the book disappointed me, because he took a great topic with a lot of potential and ended up reducing it to the repeated theme of God as the angry, vengeful father who will damn you if you do and damn you if you don't. It was a good theme, and he did it well, but the book could have been so much better had he depicted his family and his life and his rebellion in a more nuanced manner and not simply resorted to repeating his chorus.

It's a good try, Shalom, and you're a good writer. I hope your next book will be better. And I hope NCSY ropes in your kid. That would be so God.(less)

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Jun 12, 2009 Margot rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographical, jewish

This is the type of book that makes me think "Thank God this isn't my life." Shalom Auslander has made a career dissecting his troubled and troubling relationship with God. His version of God is a punishing, vindictive authoritarian figure who exists to torments his followers. Although Auslander has been disavowed by his family for leaving the fold of the super-orthodox, his upbringing is so ingrained that he is constantly hounded by the certainty that he will be struck down for his misdeeds. Th...more This is the type of book that makes me think "Thank God this isn't my life." Shalom Auslander has made a career dissecting his troubled and troubling relationship with God. His version of God is a punishing, vindictive authoritarian figure who exists to torments his followers. Although Auslander has been disavowed by his family for leaving the fold of the super-orthodox, his upbringing is so ingrained that he is constantly hounded by the certainty that he will be struck down for his misdeeds. The central theme of this collection of personal stories is the impending birth of Auslander's own son, which causes him to stew for 308 pages over the dilemma of circumcision.

As humorous as the circumstances allow:
"I imagine there is a tall black building in downtown heaven--lots of steel and concrete, very corporate, with a piazza for smokers out front and a cafeteria on the third floor--a building that is the universal headquarters for God's Department of Ironic Punishmentation."(9)

"I wonder sometimes of he--and I--suffer from a metaphysical form of Stockholm syndrome. Held captive by this Man for thousands of years, we now praise Him, defend Him, excuse Him, sometimes kill for Him, an army of Squeaky Frommes swearing allegiance to their Charlie in the sky."(71)

"I am painfully, cripplingly, incurably, miserably religious, and I have watched lately, dumbfounded and distraught, as around the world, more and more people seem to be finding Gods, each one more hateful and bloodthirsty than the next, as I'm doing my best to lose Him. I'm failing miserably."(72)

"This is the term we've been using lately: theological abuse. It involves adults, known or unknown to the underage victim, telling them a Lunatic runs the world, that He's spying on them, that He's waiting for them to break a rule."(112)

"The white kids called the stereos "nigger boxes." The black kids called the white kids "honkies." Both of them laughed when the Chassidim walked by."(126)

"I had become obsessed with anatomy; if God was going to kill me with a disease, maybe I could figure out how to cure it. An ounce of preparation, read the sign in Dr. Zisman's office, is worth a pound of cure. I liked these exchange rates."(126)

"My family and I are like oil and water, if oil made water depressed and angry and want to kill itself."(148)

"Hunting season was a few weeks away...Deer looked for their passports; bears begged to hide in their neighbor's attic."(150)

"Perhaps, I wondered as I watched David's eyes widen, all creations are accidents. Perhaps God only meant to create some lakes and a couple of birds, but then the birds need trees to really impress them, and the trees need sun, and by day three, things were just completely out of control."(178)(less)

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Mar 23, 2008 Malbadeen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-ish

I need to save my review for this book for when I get back from my trip, because I don't want God to smite me in the mean time. (wa-ha, ha! that's funny if you've read this book...or if you're really tired and loopy).

(that was then)I figure the best way to comfort myself with my ongoing sense of disappointment and frustration with my religion is to read about other peoples disappointment and frustration with their religion. this books seems as good a candidate as any.

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Feb 05, 2009 Bookmarks Magazine added it

Shalom Auslander, author of Beware of God: Stories (2005) and a contributor to This American Life, reveals his ambivalence about God through fear, black humor, and undirected anger. If Foreskin's Lament sounds like a terrible rage against God, it is, in parts, but it coalesces into a fascinating reflection on the role of faith and ritual in modern life. Most reviewers found Auslander's stories about his tormented life refreshing, moving, and humorous

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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50902.Foreskin_s_Lament?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1266459769l/50902.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50902.Foreskin_s_Lament?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Foreskin's Lament by Shalom Auslander[/url]

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