Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Living When a Loved One Has Died: Revised Edition” as Want to Read:
Living When a Loved One Has Died: Revised Edition
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Living When a Loved One Has Died: Revised Edition

3.92 of 5 stars 3.92  ·  rating details  ·  78 ratings  ·  21 reviews
When someone you love dies, Earl Grollman writes, "there is no way to predict how you will feel. The reactions of grief are not like recipes, with given ingredients, and certain results. . . . Grief is universal. At the same time it is extremely personal. Heal in your own way."

If you are grieving, Living When a Loved One Has Died can help. This gentle, reassuring book expl
Hardcover, 112 pages
Published October 28th 1997 by Beacon Press (first published March 1st 1979)
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Living When a Loved One Has Died, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Living When a Loved One Has Died

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 125)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
This is a quick little book written in verse. I will return to it repeatedly, and am considering using it for journaling. It is broken into sections: Shock, Suffering, Recovery and A New Life. I identified completely with the sentiments expressed in Shock and Suffering. This was helpful, because it makes me feel like what I'm experiencing is "normal." The book begins:

"Your loved one has died.
Everyone dies. You learned this as a child.
On countless occasions you fantasized
about how you would reac
This is a good starting point...good outline especially for teens/young adults dealing with grief for the first time. It's broken down onto a handful of meaningful words per page. This frequent page turning annoyed me at first probably more than it would normally as my hand is hurt, however it is actually wise. Each bit is enough for one grieving and really struggling in the immediate aftermath of death, loss and resulting changes in life to think about as it relates to them to deal with at a ti ...more
This is an interesting little book. I find myself flipping back and forth and re-reading. I wasn't expecting to feel anything while reading this book, but it helps put into words exactly what I am feeling, and that has given me some relief from the hurt. There is also some advice for moving forward towards a future much different than the one that I had planned.

"Are you using the time to face up to
the fact that the one you loved is dead?

Are you using the time to give vent
to your fears anxieties?
Pierced Librarian
Aug 20, 2013 Pierced Librarian rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: No one. Absolutely no one.
Having just lost my brother, I am reading a plethora of grief books. This one must be my least favorite. It is written in little easily digestible vignettes; Shock, Suffering, Recovery, and a New Life.

I am sure many will find this little book a treasure. I found it trite and condescending. It was like reading bumper stickers. The last page of the recovery section reads,

Can you say the word dead?


Death is a fact. A bitter fact.
Face it.

I felt like I was getting punched by Sesame Street's Sa
Jan 05, 2014 Davida rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Davida by:
I give this book to anyone I can when someone they love dies. I have lost several people in my life, but I was first given this book when my father passed away while I was in college. In all of my experience this book has impacted me the most and has proven to be one of the best books to give someone who is experiencing a loss. To put this is in a little more perspective, I have at least 15 books about loss and grief on my shelf, and half of them are clinical/for treating my clients. This one is ...more
This book helped me to understand that the emotions I am experiencing after losing my sister and my dad are normal.
Oct 14, 2011 Rusty rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone who has lost someone special
A most thoughtful little read for those who lose someone. Divided into four sections: Shock, Suffering, Recovery and A New Life, the book is written in verse that allows one to ponder and muse over the written words. I will share some of the most meaningful entries for me:

Shock (p. 7):


How often in happy times did you ask "Why?"

When blessings were yours and life was joyful, did you ask "Why?"

Now death has shaken your faith,
"Why me?"
"Why didn't I die first?"
"Why must my life be one of
Jul 25, 2009 Lisa rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone mourning the loss of a loved one, or close with someone who has suffered a loss
Shelves: bereavement, poetry
I happened upon this volume when searching for another Earl Grollman book that had been suggested to me after the passing of a dear friend. As the suggested book was now out of print, I perused the shelves for another, and this one caught my eye immediately. It is not a novel; rather, a collection of poems that captures the various stages of grief, covering the initial shock, grieving, and eventually moving forward. I felt as if this collection was put together specifically for ME--something I d ...more
Nancy Groves
This book is simply, yet profoundly written to guide someone through the difficult paths of grief. Highly recommended.
Just a lovely little book. Very easy to read for when you really can't read after a loved one dies. Short sections, short sentences, lots of white space -- easy on grieving eyes. He has obviously been through the experience. It's not written as a self-help book. It's a collection of short poems (sort of) that touch on the emotions you feel as you grieve & it shows that no one grieves the same. It was a gift & is one that is so comforting. I will keep & re-read this many times in the ...more
My brother died unexpectedly, and I needed to find something to help me process all the thoughts rampaging around in my head. I found this title in Borders, and sank to the floor crying after reading a random page. It's pretty straightforward, broken up into bite-sized pieces, and had some good things to say. I found it reassuring, and heard what I needed to hear at that moment.
Grollman, with empathy and insight, writes succinct expressions on the many faces of grief. Written in stanzas, his meditations on death and mourning offer digestible attempts to comfort those reeling from loss. Living When a Loved One Has Died is Less a self-help book than a lovely expression of sympathy and understanding from Grollman.
Jo Ellen
The title says it all. I love the prose/poem style of the book. It really does speak truth to my condition for which I am grateful. There is very little there that I don't know already, but I appreciate the affirmations -- particularly the one about people giving me advice.
This was a lovely book, written poetically, which was very appropriate to its subject. Through it I learned that my feelings at this time are perfectly normal, and that there is a chance of a good life in the future.
This is a REALLY quick read, but I thought it packed in a lot of truth in a small volume.
Elizabeth Phillips
Anyone who has lost someone... this book is a must read. Truly.
Very good book, easy to read. Very helpful.
A lovely little volume about the arc of grief.
I read an earlier edition
Animelove24 Brown
Animelove24 Brown marked it as to-read
Jul 19, 2015
Alex marked it as to-read
Jun 14, 2015
Samantha Grabelle
Samantha Grabelle marked it as to-read
Jun 08, 2015
« previous 1 3 4 5 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
Dr. Earl A. Grollman, a pioneer in the field of crisis intervention, was rabbi of the Beth El Temple Center in Belmont, Massachusetts for thirty-six years. A past president of Massachusetts Board of Rabbis, he took early retirement from his congregation so that he could devote himself to writing and lecturing. A certified Death Educator and Counselor, he was cited as “Hero of The Heartland” for hi ...more
More about Earl A. Grollman...
Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers: How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love Bereaved Children: A Support Guide for Parents and Professionals Talking about Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child Living with Loss, Healing with Hope: A Jewish Perspective Living When a Young Friend Commits Suicide

Share This Book