Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys: True Tales of Love, Lust, and Friendship Between Straight Women and Gay Men

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Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys: True Tales of Love, Lust, and Friendship Between Straight Women and Gay Men

by Melissa de la Cruz (Goodreads Author) (Editor), Tom Dolby (Goodreads Author) (Editor), Armistead Maupin (Foreward)

3.6 of 5 stars 3.60 · rating details · 185 ratings · 29 reviews

A celebration of the most important relationship in a straight girl�s life�her gay best friend.

Thanks to iconic duos such as Sex and the City�s Carrie and Stanford and the title characters of Will & Grace, the love affair between straight women and gay men has moved into the mainstream. Never before, though, has a book looked at these friendships in the real world.

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Hardcover, 320 pages

Published May 17th 2007 by Dutton Adult

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YA Novels of 2007

92nd out of 156 books — 46 voters

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Oct 13, 2010 Tatiana rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

I actually expected relationships between gay men and straight women to be a little more meaningful. First 3 stories were all shopping, fashion, and glitz. Can't bear it any more, I am no Carrie Bradshaw.

4 likes · like · see review

Nov 02, 2010 ChristyAnne rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: lgbt-issues

I'm so happy this book is now in paperback so I can get my own copy! (borrowed from the library).
Because......

A friend of mine often tells the tale of the day we "fell in love".
Another friend of mine and I are "engaged".
I told another friend of mine that I loved dancing w/ him because we could get super raunchy but neither of us had to worry about the other trying to get into our pants.
Another friend of mine and I lovingly tease each about being schoolage "lovers".

All of these men are gay. These...more

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Apr 07, 2010 Cassy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-in-2010, non-fiction, lgbt-fiction

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I picked this book up at a book fair, not really knowing how I would like it. It looked mildly interesting, certainly worth the six bucks (in hardback, no less) that I would pay for it. Even if it was horrible, no harm no foul. Luckily for me, it was really a fantastic book.

The book is a compilation of essays from lots of different writers, gay and straight alike. It's a book that explores friendships and love and family. When I was reading the section about straight women and their gay male fri...more I picked this book up at a book fair, not really knowing how I would like it. It looked mildly interesting, certainly worth the six bucks (in hardback, no less) that I would pay for it. Even if it was horrible, no harm no foul. Luckily for me, it was really a fantastic book.

The book is a compilation of essays from lots of different writers, gay and straight alike. It's a book that explores friendships and love and family. When I was reading the section about straight women and their gay male friends, it was so interesting the things that would happen in those relationships. It's a different relationship than the one we have with our girlfriends or even straight male friends. You get all the fun of a girlfriend with all the advantages of him being male. There's no sexual tension because neither of you is looking for that kind of relationship. Neither is there competition that you often find in friendships between two women. And the thing that made me laugh is that I related to a lot of the stories (though, ironically, not in my relationship with a gay man but my friendship with a straight woman. I feel that says a lot of ~~awesome~~ things about that relationship.)

I particularly enjoyed reading the stories about family. One essay talked about a liberal minded mother who actually had strong homophobic beliefs. But she still supported her son. It strained their relationship but not everything works out perfectly. There were kids who talked about being raised by gay parents. One woman actually says it was better because it turned her father into a better person once her parents got divorced. One mother talks about she would prefer her son to be gay, though she knows she has zero control over what happens.

I like hearing these stories because so often we approach homosexuality as a taboo subject. Either we're trying too hard to be politically correct or we come off as offense. This book doesn't walk on the egg shells that so often accompanies the subject. It isn't a book about being gay: it's a book about friendships and families and adolescents and life that just happen to have homosexuality as a common theme. These stories are from real people and their real experiences and their real life. Some of the stories might be considered offensive but that doesn't change the fact that they happened and the people writing those stories aren't going to shy away from the facts. It's a refreshing book in that way.

I recommend this book to everyone who enjoys gay/straight literature or even just someone who wants to broaden their horizons a little. It was fun, engaging and a quick read. Definitely worth the six dollars I spend on it. (less)

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Jan 17, 2008 Hazel rated it 1 of 5 stars

Stupid, stupid book. There was about one good story, about a gay man who's highschool girlfriend offers to have a baby for him and his partner. Besides that, there were so many mentions of Barbara Streisand, how fabulous gay men are, and how straight the straight women's husbands were that I wanted to die.

4 likes · like · see review

Jun 27, 2012 Katrina rated it 4 of 5 stars

I didn't like every story in this collection, but that's inevitable when you're reading such a diverse set of authors. I definitely found a few whose other works I want to check out now.

Overall, this was an excellent book. The section divisions (didn't fit perfectly in all instances, but I liked that it was intended to provide more than the stereotypical Sex and the City idea of fashionable women and their gay confidantes. There's some of that in here (and a Sex and the City writer, at that), bu...more

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Jul 18, 2007 Elizabeth rated it 4 of 5 stars

After reading the first chapter, I realized how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life.

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May 14, 2012 M O rated it 4 of 5 stars

Such a fun read, especially for every hag who's had a fag! We all have our own gay BFFs, but there's something so delicious in indulging in other fun, fabulous and forever friendships between girls and gays. Stories ranges from light and funny ones focusing on fashion to heart-wrenching stories on how guys finally came out to their best friends. This book makes you realize the power of the bond formed by a girl and gay guy, joined by the same female spirit. I laughed, I sighed, I remembered my o...more

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Dec 02, 2007 Christian rated it 1 of 5 stars

I first learned about this book a while ago when a few of the essays were serialized in the NYTimes. They were pretty good essays, so I was looking forward to reading a book that essentially reflects (the flapcopy uses the term celebrates, but as you'll see, I don't think it's much of a celebration) on the relationship between gay men and straight women. Unfortunately, the best essays were serialized in the Times, and I really could have saved myself some time and money by just keeping those (wh...more I first learned about this book a while ago when a few of the essays were serialized in the NYTimes. They were pretty good essays, so I was looking forward to reading a book that essentially reflects (the flapcopy uses the term celebrates, but as you'll see, I don't think it's much of a celebration) on the relationship between gay men and straight women. Unfortunately, the best essays were serialized in the Times, and I really could have saved myself some time and money by just keeping those (which I had already done).

I guess it wasn't all that bad. With twenty-eight essays, it does manage to hit a large berth of examples. And I guess the book's true value comes in how it caused me to reflect on the varying relationships I have with the different women in my life.

Interestingly enough, the essay I found most intriguing was the one that helped me look at my relationship with Belle. Now, I realize that she's not a straight woman (because she is, after all, a dog, and likely a lesbian at that), but one essay focused on the author's relationship with his dog walker. For starters, the author's dog is rather similar to Belle, including her propensity to show off her rather large "lady parts." Most significantly, though, is how the author was able to pass out all his affection to his dog, making him unavailable to commit to any of the men who formed his long string of boyfriends. I may have been unwilling to admit this at the time, but the greatest thing enabling me to break up with Grant was Belle. With Belle, I still had a creature to shower with affection and love. And with that diversion for my emotions, I was able to see why Grant and I were together and, more importantly, why it wasn't working.

Anyway.

This collection works as a reflection tool. I don't know if it's the book or if it's my take on the book, but the overall impression that I'm left with after reading this book is that the gay man–straight woman relationship isn't necessarily one to celebrate because it seems to consist of a great deal of dysfunction and angst. I don't think that's the effect the editors were going for.

an addendum . . .
Because it seems that I have, of late, disconnected my internal audience editor, perhaps I should clarify a thought or two. When it comes down to it, I feel that all relationships are, to some extent or another, dysfunctional. Professional relationships have a tendency toward minimal dysfunction whereas personal relationships have a tendency toward maximal dysfunction. The key to relationships is negotiating them to the dysfunction you're personally comfortable with.

Also, this book doesn't really deal with the gay man–straight woman relationship so much as the fag hag relationship. I don't use that term throughout this post because, well, I really rather hate that term. And I don't think fruit fly is much better, though it sounds more pleasant. (Fag stag and dyke dude on the other hand . . . Well, is that just another example of the privileged patriarchy? I don't know. Where's Arwen to help clarify and answer these things?)

I'm sure there is more clarifying that I ought to do, but I seem to have forgotten my train of thought.

(less)

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Feb 04, 2013 Mara rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: openbook

All of the essays in this collection are fine representations of the theme and none of the essays in this collection particularly stand out to me; they really feel like commissioned pieces, rather than organic contemplations. The pieces I enjoyed more than others were authored by Andrew Soloman, Ayelet Waldman, and Bennett Madison. I'm glad I read it, but I wouldn't recommend it for anything other than as a travel/filler read; borrow it from the library next time you're going to be on plane, tra...more

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Nov 07, 2008 Lauren rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

I originally picked up with book thinking that it would be frothy and glib - like a great episode of Sex and the City featuring Stanford *and* Anthony! What I got was much more substantive and rewarding. The essays alternate between gay male and straight(ish) female authors, and provide every imaginable meditation on the peculiar dynamics found in these pairings. I definitely got the snark and humor I was looking for, but also a very serious inquiry into why gay men and straight(ish!) women get...more

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Aug 08, 2011 Scott Harvey rated it 3 of 5 stars

No, there wasn't much terribly deep about the stories but I'm not sure that was the intent. Gay men and their fruit flies have always been known for quite superficial relationships. Yes, there are deep ones, but many are superficial.

The stories were cute though nothing spectacular.

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Aug 15, 2009 Renee rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: randomchoice

Great collection of essays telling various relationship and friendship stories. Excellent writers. Very easy to relate.

1 like · like · see review

Dec 24, 2012 JW rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m

Like most anthologies it depends on the story; I like most of them, loved some of them, and was bored by few of them.

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Jan 16, 2012 Maggie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Fantastic. Uplifting. Captures the nuances of the gay best friend.

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Nov 19, 2008 Gabriella rated it 5 of 5 stars

I originally picked this book up this August on a trip to San Francisco- I saw that Cincy Chupak contributed to it, (and I love Sex and the City). This was actually a great collection of stories about relationships, and really gives you a true insight into friendships between women and gay men. I have had only a couple gay friends in my life, but have kind of lost touch with everything else going on in life, but those are the friendships I miss the most out of any....if anything, reading this bo...more

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Jul 29, 2009 Andrea rated it 2 of 5 stars

Some of the stories were really good, some really didn't move me at all. I enjoyed getting to read about the other perspectives gay men and the girls that love them... I feel like I need to find a best gay guy friend because from the stories I had they seem very fun, and honest :).

1 like · like · see review

Jun 13, 2008 Linda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, glbt

Gay guys and their straight female friends writing essays about their friendships, failed lust attacks and lives. I didn't read every essay but I really enjoyed picking it up and randomly reading one, or picking it up and seeking a favorite author (Cecil Castelluci, Bennett Madison, David Ebershoff). Ayelet Waldman reflects on the hate mail she received about her stereotypes and prejudices after writing in Salon.com that she hoped her son would be gay; as always, she disturbs me on so many level...more

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Jul 02, 2008 Librarian rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: adultnonfiction, glbtq

I liked it, but I wanted to like it so much more. It was way too New-York-centric and the essays were all very similar to each other. There were a couple of pieces that stood out to me though, and it does do a fine job of celebrating these relationships. A feel-good, light read- nothing very political or earth-shattering here. It's just exactly what one might expect, which can be a good thing if you don't want to be surprised or challenged.

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Aug 15, 2010 Stephanie added it

Shelves: non-fic

Sadly, I had trouble relating to this book. I don't live in LA, NYC or London.

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Dec 12, 2008 Jenny marked it as to-read

Shelves: gave-up, nonfiction, wishlist

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Aug 19, 2008 Skip rated it 2 of 5 stars

In truthfulness, I only read about three of the essays in this collection.
I found most of this stuff trite and vacuous.
Glad I didn't buy the book. It was quickly returned to the library.

1 like · like · see review

May 13, 2012 Jennifer rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have heard a lot of great things about this book so I had to check it out!

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Feb 16, 2008 Anne rated it 3 of 5 stars

Fag hags everywhere will relate to and enjoy these essays :)

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Aug 21, 2008 Devon rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: august08, nonfiction

Stereotypes galore. I don't know why I finished it.

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May 28, 2008 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars

I loved this anthology..sharp, sad, poignant..

1 like · like · see review

Aug 22, 2008 Susan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: not-ya

Oh God! So witty and honest.

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Dec 03, 2010 Lauren rated it 3 of 5 stars

Pretty much my high school life story summed up in a more adult context.

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Jul 18, 2007 Joe rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Gays and their fag hags everywhere!

I am only on page 60, but I am loving it and literally laughing out loud and relating to so many things. I defintitely want to read it again just to highlight certain things.

It is a compilation of essays divided into 5 categories and is great!!!

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Jul 12, 2007 Aparnaa rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

It was cute!

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May 23, 2013 Laura deLuna marked it as to-read

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About Melissa de la Cruz

Melissa de la Cruz is the New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of many critically acclaimed and award-winning novels for teens including The Au Pairs series, the Blue Bloods series, the Ashleys series, the Angels on Sunset Boulevard series and the semi-autobiographical novel Fresh off the Boat.

Her books for adults include the novel Cat’s Meow, the anthology Girls Who Like Boys Who Like...more

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