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The Brentford Chainstore Massacre (Brentford #5)

3.89 of 5 stars 3.89  ·  rating details  ·  804 ratings  ·  15 reviews
There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr. Stephen Malone. Using DNA strands extracted from the dried blood on the Turin Shroud, Dr. Malone is cloning Jesus.
Paperback, 365 pages
Published June 1st 1998 by Corgi (first published December 1997)
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Of Mice and Men by John SteinbeckHere's to You, Rachel Robinson by Judy BlumeFirst Among Sequels by Jasper FfordeEast of Eden by John SteinbeckAll Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot
Titles that play on earlier titles and sayings
28th out of 125 books — 23 voters
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas AdamsGood Omens by Terry PratchettCritical Failures by Robert BevanSheer Purgatory by Robert    CarterLife, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams
Best Comic Fantasy
57th out of 60 books — 117 voters

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Community Reviews

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John Bullock
My first taste of Robert Rankin's work was the BBC radio adaptation of The Brightonomicon. I found it to be hilarious, so, of course, I went on to read the novel. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and was pleased to find that it was the eighth book in a "trilogy" of nine, and promptly began buying the rest of the series.

The Brentford Chainstore Massacre is the fifth book in the series and, in my opinion, the best (chronologically speaking) so far. The writing style that attracted me to the series in The
Joseph Teller
Fifth in the Trilogy set around the Characters of Jim Pooley and John Omalley, this book has as much to do with taking all the wild 'Milllennial Madness' and waving it around as something insane and silly as it does back developing the history of Jim & John and why they live in Brentford like their ancestors before them and why weird things happening there often involve them.

It's all about there being nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come.... and the silliness about the y
Isabel (kittiwake)
'And the lights upon the allotment,' said Soap, 'what would you take those to be?'
'The work of the council,' said Omally firmly, 'another plot to confound honest golfers.'
Soap burst into a paroxysm of laughter. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks and he clutched at his stomach.
'Come now,' said Pooley, 'it is no laughing matter, these lads have it in for us.'
'Have it in for you?' gasped Soap between convulsions. 'You witness a test run of laser-operated gravitational landing beams, the product
Richard Penn
This book has a clever title, and is reasonably well written, but it seems lazy and self-indulgent. We have no real sense that the main character, or indeed Brentford, is in any danger. And all we learn about Brentford is that the author despises it, like Little Whingeing, in JKR's books.
Nathan Dehoff
This book is a return to Rankin’s original heroes, Jim Pooley and John Omally of Brentford. It’s also a return to the titles that sound cool but don’t directly relate to the plot. The overlapping plots this time around involve a mad doctor who is attempting to clone Jesus, and the discovery that a set of scrolls from the Vatican will allow Brentford to celebrate the millennium a few years early. As might be expected, there’s also a demonic being, this time the head of the Millennial Committee wh ...more
Parts of this were laugh-out-loud funny, and parts of it tried really really hard to be laugh-out-loud funny and just weren't.
Very funny, as usual. I always enjoy these novels. I feel I know the characters so well by now too. This was one of the better ones too, which is saying a lot because they're all good anyway.

This ones about Poole and O'Malley attempting to get their hands on a large amount of coin, as they say from the Millennium funding committee, or some such body. Also involved in the shenanigans is a Doctor who clones two boys from the blood of Jesus on the Turin Shroud and yet another attempt to renovate T
Ade Couper
More from Mr Rankin , that most excellent purveyor of far-fetched fiction...

This tome finds us back in Brentford , in the company once again of Jim Pooley & John O'Malley , erstwhile individuals , patrons of The Flying Swan , & untroubled by mere employment. This time the yarn involves the lost days of Brentford , Demons , clones of .....well, it would spoil it to tell you, & general mayhem . It is , as you'd expect , bloody excellent .

Richard Thomas
The early Rankins are all delightful heart-stoppingly funny and essential comic sci-fi reading with hidden treasures on every page
Steven Shroyer
While this book is a bit dated(it was released in 1997) this book is a funny, oddball romp that deserves a repeat reading. For fans of such British Humor authors like Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett
Good for a luagh, Rankins books always have surreal orignal wit and clever plot twists. The characters are always likeable without being fleshed out unnecessarly. Good fun
Ranking as bonkers as ever although I must admit this wasn't my favourite of the adventures of messrs Pooley and O'Malley.
Jane Walker
Rankin's humour is a matter of taste. The book is comic, even mad, but there were times when I didn't find it all that funny.
Thought I had read all of the Brentford Trilogy, apparently I had missed one.. not complaining.
Feb 27, 2009 Mollie marked it as wishlist
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"When Robert Rankin embarked upon his writing career in the late 1970s, his ambition was to create an entirely new literary genre, which he named Far-Fetched Fiction. He reasoned that by doing this he could avoid competing with any other living author in any known genre and would be given his own special section in WH Smith."
(from Web Site Story)

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall
More about Robert Rankin...

Other Books in the Series

Brentford (9 books)
  • The Antipope
  • The Brentford Triangle
  • East of Ealing
  • The Sprouts of Wrath
  • Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls
  • Knees Up Mother Earth
  • The Brightonomicon
  • Retromancer
The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse The Antipope The Brentford Triangle Armageddon: The Musical East of Ealing

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