The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

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The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

3.89 of 5 stars 3.89 · rating details · 4,348 ratings · 434 reviews

One out of every four people feels overwhelmed at the thought of a business meeting, dreads walking into a party, hates having to make small talk with strangers, feels alone in a crowd--and always prefers to sit on the sidelines & observe. They're introverts, & now comes the book to buttress their resolve & help them find understanding & success living in a...more

Paperback, 330 pages

Published February 1st 2002 by Workman Publishing (first published 2002)

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Jul 22, 2007 Jennifer rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: miscellany, with-a-grain-of-salt

The two things I heard most in my youth: "Where did you get that red hair?" (which always struck me as wildly dumb, and/or inappropriate. what if I was adopted? or did people really think a first grader would dye her hair - dye it pumpkin orange, no less??)

And the other: "Why are you so quiet?" (because I'm tired of answering stupid questions from complete strangers??)

Anyway, I'm still quiet, and have married into a spastically extroverted family. I'm eager to read this book, and welcome any goo...more

30 likes · like · see review

Jul 19, 2008 Katie rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Everyone

Shelves: self-improvement

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I'VE EVER READ! Period. The cover's loud proclamation that the book was filled with "Aha Moments" is no joke! For me, the introvert, I now have a better understanding of what it means to be an introvert and how being an introvert effects every aspect of my life. It's all about energy -- introverts need to conserve energy while extroverts need to expend energy. Even our brains are wired differently. I couldn't believe some of the examples in the book. In one, the aut...more

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May 20, 2011 Skylar Burris rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting, sociology, marriage

Do you recall doing an “I-Search” paper in middle school? “I-Search” is a play on research, a sort of child’s touchy-feely introduction to the big bad world of research. You pick a topic to which you have a personal connection, and then you do a few interviews with people you know, think about your own personal experiences with the topic, and look up some statistics in a book or two. You then write a paper detailing your “process” (why you’re interested in the topic and how you learned what you...more

27 likes · like · see review

Feb 04, 2011 Very rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, borrowed, i-have-a-theory

First, she spends a lot of time making sure you’re an introvert. As if anyone else would be reading this book. Then, once you’re super sure that you’re an introvert, she talks about what it means to be an introvert, as if you don’t already know. That’s a lot of time wasted right there. Then she tells you how extroverts work and how they’re totally different from you and gives a tiny teaspoon of advice on how to interact with them. It’s all mostly stupid common sense stuff. Then she blathers on a...more

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Jul 10, 2008 Ginny Messina rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: how-to-live

I have a generally negative view of pop psychology books, but couldn’t resist this one. And although it is lightweight and pretty ascientific, there were just enough “hey, that’s me!” moments to make me feel like I learned something.

Laney is a librarian turned psychologist who is herself an introvert. Despite the title, she focuses very little on the actual advantages of being an introvert. (For the record, we are loyal, thoughtful, persistent, good listeners, good teachers, able to focus deepl...more

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Feb 14, 2009 Lotte rated it 3 of 5 stars

I almost stopped reading this after 50 of its 300+ pages because I already know that I am a left-brain introvert and the material felt familiar. I typically am comfortable in the largely extrovert world (according to author Laney 25% of people are introverts and the rest extroverts). However, it is a fairly quick read for its length and I am glad I stuck with it. The physiological explanations were new to me, and several times throughout the book, I discovered traits I didn't know were connected...more

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Mar 03, 2009 Tim rated it 2 of 5 stars

Since reading Mr. Jung's book about personality types, I have often wondered what use or point these types of classifications can really have. Mr. Jung, himself, cautions that though thinking about personality types can be enlightening, we should never make the mistake of thinking that we are talking about something real. It is the dichotomy present in stereotypes in general: they can sometimes be helpful, but they can also lead to dreadful errors in judgement about particular individuals.

Ms. La...more Since reading Mr. Jung's book about personality types, I have often wondered what use or point these types of classifications can really have. Mr. Jung, himself, cautions that though thinking about personality types can be enlightening, we should never make the mistake of thinking that we are talking about something real. It is the dichotomy present in stereotypes in general: they can sometimes be helpful, but they can also lead to dreadful errors in judgement about particular individuals.

Ms. Laney's book is a perfect example of this dichotomy in action. Before I continue, I should mention that in every personality test I have taken, I have come up a strong introvert. Anyway, in Ms. Laney's book I read many things about myself that were eerily accurate, and that I didn't know were even connected to my personality type. For example, I really dislike being interrupted when I'm thinking about something. I had no idea that this was connected to introversion at all, I just thought it was a quirk of my personality. Yet, Ms. Laney points out that a lot of introverts feel this way. Other reviewers have mentioned the wealth of "a-ha" moments like this present in the book.

Having said that, there are several other facets of Ms. Laney's descriptions of introverts that I was the exact opposite of. Some of them are very slight, but others are more important. For example, Ms. Laney bases her whole explanation of introverts around the idea that introverts draw energy from within, and that external stimulation, whether it be conversation with friends or the infamous "smoky Las Vegas casino," drains this energy and causes introverts to, eventually, reach a kind of crisis point where they have to recharge immediately.

In my own experience, this is fundamentally untrue. I love smoky Las Vegas casinos, with all their noise and action, and as long as I like the people I'm talking to, I would prefer to stay up and talk to them all night. And when I have stayed up and talked to people all night, I do not find myself drained the next day, but rather refreshed (albeit very hungover). Even the idea that I draw energy from within is fundamentally incorrect. Long before I read this book, I spent a considerable amount of time thinking about what inspires and recharges me. My realization about this was that I am inspired by conversation with people I like, and by good art, whether it be books or movies or music or paintings or whatever. All of these things, you will notice, are external to me, not internal. Furthermore, the more extreme the impression the external thing makes upon me, the more the art or the conversation intrudes into my internal world, the more I like it.

So, in reading this book, I was constantly confused by what advice or understanding I could take from it. Everything in it was true, except the things that were false. And some of the false things were fundamental to the entire theory being argued. Because of this, it was impossible to believe the argument of the book as a whole, or to take seriously most of the advice given in it.

Speaking of advice, I want to give some to anyone who is considering following the advice Ms. Laney gives regarding human interaction: don't follow it. Or at least, consider it carefully before you put it into action. I don't know what it is about therapists, but in every book I've read they appear to be hopelessly naive about human interactions. Asking other people to make allowances for you doesn't actually help you all get along better, it just annoys the hell out of the other people. I also don't think that, in general, Mickey Mouse watches or pencils with silly erasers are good conversation starters; to me they just come off as kind of dorky pleas for attention. And by all means don't tell your introvert children to do the things she advises unless you actually want them to be social pariahs.

If you can't already tell, I thought the advice given by Ms. Laney was extremely annoying. So much so, in fact, that I was forced to throw the book across the room several times while reading. I don't know if it's our culture or what, but everyone seems to want to encourage everyone else to be so, well, weak.

Yes, it's true that introverts are sometimes uncomfortable in situations that are pleasant for other people. But despite Ms. Laney's claim that introverts are just as good as everyone else, the impression one gets from her description is that introverts are these lily-livered people who skulk around in fear all the time, having to make allowances for even the simplest human interactions, unable to drive to the grocery store without a purse full of earmuffs, nuts, and tissues soaked in soothing aromatherapy oils. I don't think this is true, nor do I think it's very flattering. Other people have mentioned giving this book to their extrovert friends so that they can understand them better. I would be horrified if anyone I knew thought of me this way.

So, to sum up, if you think you're an introvert, you might want to read this book for the a-ha moments, of which there are many. Don't, however, expect it to be a life-changing explanation of who you are or how you should act.(less)

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Feb 16, 2009 Mme. Bookling ~ rated it 4 of 5 stars

I seriously want to buy this book for every single introvert I know. After that, I want to buy this book for every single extrovert I know.

Truth is, this book has treated a topic that is seriously underrated and has been the source of my anxiety for many, many years.

There are so many interesting facts/statistics that Dr. Laney throws into this book. For instance:
Introverts are outnumbered 3:1 in this world.
Introverts live longer than Extroverts.
Introversion has been directly linked to intelligen...more

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Sep 26, 2011 Minna rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Everyone who think they are or think they know an introvert

Recommended to Minna by: Internet-person

Shelves: non-fiction, owned

I'm well aware that I'm introverted. I have family members who are both innies and outies, and the differences between the two types have always been obvious. I have always preferred reading or hanging out with one or two friends to parties and meeting strangers. The thing I've never did connect were the dots between personality type, energy levels and some of my quirks that seemingly had nothing to do with introversion.

Some might think that it is impossible to not know what temperament you hav...more I'm well aware that I'm introverted. I have family members who are both innies and outies, and the differences between the two types have always been obvious. I have always preferred reading or hanging out with one or two friends to parties and meeting strangers. The thing I've never did connect were the dots between personality type, energy levels and some of my quirks that seemingly had nothing to do with introversion.

Some might think that it is impossible to not know what temperament you have, but I have a friend who was told as a child that she was extroverted but has started to doubt the definition. The reason people thought that she was extroverted was that she was good with people, she grew up in a big family with lots of siblings and relatives who often visited and she is quite comfortable around crowds for some time. But, if she got her own way, she would rather spend time with just a few people at a time or do crafts. Things are not always easily defined. You can be extroverted in some ways and introverted in others.

The book is divided into ten parts, each dealing with an aspect of life like love, family and work and how to deal with it. Mostly the book deals with getting along with extroverts and to explain to them that things can't always be done their way. There is no one way to fix it, since there is no cookie cutter intro-person, but you get different suggestions to try out.

The first nine parts are about understanding your nature and understanding that there is nothing wrong with you if you don't thrive in the thick of social things like other people. The beginning builds up to the end which can make people either disappointed of relieved. The last part is about extroverting, how to save energy for your forays into stressful situations with a lot of people and excitement around you. You don't have to live as a hermit, you can go to parties and network just as well as any extrovert, but maybe not in the exact same way. Sometimes it is necessary to step out of your comfort zone - introverts and extroverts alike.

I think most introverts have done enought soulsearching to know what they are like. If you're a younger introvert, or a partner och parent to one, this is a easy read and introduction into how some people work. Not all things applies to all introverts, though. (less)

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Mar 17, 2009 Shannon rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Introverts, Those Who Know One, Those Who Love One

Recommended to Shannon by: Mikkee

Shelves: nonfiction

If you don't know me, you may not realize how momentous it is for me to not only read a non-fiction book, but give it five stars. My friend, Mikkee, recommended this book and I am so glad I read it. I've always been an introvert, but I think as I've aged, I've become more aware of how this makes me feel and how my needs are different because of it. For a non-fiction book, it was very readable, which is what pushed it from four stars to five for me. While the author has a doctorate in psychology,...more If you don't know me, you may not realize how momentous it is for me to not only read a non-fiction book, but give it five stars. My friend, Mikkee, recommended this book and I am so glad I read it. I've always been an introvert, but I think as I've aged, I've become more aware of how this makes me feel and how my needs are different because of it. For a non-fiction book, it was very readable, which is what pushed it from four stars to five for me. While the author has a doctorate in psychology, she didn't talk over my head (although there was one chapter on mind mapping that left me feeling slightly stupid).

A few of the other things I liked about this book:

-It affirmed traits that I either question or dislike about myself and made me realize I'm not crazy. I am self-reflective (if you haven't noticed!), contemplative and able to concentrate for long periods of time.

-It was fascinating to read about how a collection of small things like a lower natural body temperature, a tendency for my mind to go completely blank if someone calls on me unexpectedly and an affinity for short naps are all evidence of my introverted nature.

-It made me think about where my children fall on the introverted/extroverted spectrum and gave me ideas for how to relate to my daughters who are different from me in this area. It also made me realize I need to affirm the introverted qualities in my daughter who is one and in my daughter who is a bit of both introvert and extrovert.

-It gave me concrete tips on how to anticipate when my energy will be low and how to store up my energy for a time of interaction.

-Good word pictures. One of my favorites was that extroverts are like solar panels, who soak up energy from being around others. Introverts are like rechargeable batteries that need to sit on their charger (preferably at home) in order to refuel.

If you know or love an introvert, or suspect you have an introverted child, I really recommend you read this book. It's a super easy, quick read and will give you a better understanding of what it means to be introverted.(less)

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Jul 06, 2008 Sheridan rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: an introvert

Shelves: self-help

On the back cover it says, “Filled with Aha! Moments.”

It is true, as an Introvert, I had many of these reading this book. I scrapbook with a group of wonderful girls. One time Christine brought this book. We took the quiz and all but one of us are introverts. It was fun to realize that about each other and maybe it is why we all get along so well, we can understand each other. One of my Aha moments, was I hate to make phone calls. Apparently this is a situation many introverts face. It made me...more

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Feb 17, 2013 Dawn Lennon rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: self-improvement

A very helpful book clarifying the differences between introverts and extroverts, with an obvious emphasis on helping introverts understand, accept, and value their temperaments. It looks at the situational dynamics faced by introverts at home, work, socially, and individually, providing tools and exercises designed to address the unique needs of introverts. Recognizing that there are degrees of introversion, this books does a good job of raising awareness and allaying myth.

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Aug 31, 2012 Victoria rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Introverts and extroverts who love them

Every once in a while I come across a book that significantly alters my perspective, and very rarely, even changes my life. The Introvert Advantage is one of these rare gems. It explained me to me! All of the weird things I do, how I get tired in crowds, how I dread going out, and will avoid social events if I can. I'm always the first person to leave the party! How small talk is a sincere struggle for me, but bring up a topic I'm interested in and I'll talk your ear off. It's amazing the gift t...more

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Aug 09, 2011 Gordon rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: misc-non-fiction

Strictly speaking, not finished… but only because I had to give it back. The book can be repetitive – which is forgivable, maybe, on the ‘reinforce your message’ principle – and not everything in it will appeal to everyone. On the whole, however, it was well done, with an emphasis on the practical: there are things here that I will be using and others – more than one ‘aha’ moment – that I had already stumbled across intuitively. The author tries a bit too hard to make the point that being an int...more

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Mar 07, 2013 Elyse rated it 1 of 5 stars

I wrote this as a comment then decided to post it as a review.

Well, here's one extrovert's take. (I say "one" because, contrary to the book's definition, we do not all fit into one box.) This book was chosen for our book club by an introvert who loved it. I have to agree with Skylar's review.

It felt to me like the author needed to put extroverts down to build introverts up. Just look at her descriptions on how each kind should talk to the other on pg. 123.
Extroverts:
-Don't interrupt . . . Well,...more

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Feb 07, 2013 Whitney Garrett rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, nonfiction

This book changed my life. Okay, maybe it didn't change it, but it definitely made it better. I read this when I was about 16 or 17 on a recommendation by a mentor who is also an introvert. Most of my friends were extroverts and we tended to do things in HUGE groups. I always felt a bit like an outsider because I didn't feel comfortable in these social situations as everyone else seemed to. I could tell I was different and felt like something was wrong with me (of course, my personality type bei...more

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Dec 16, 2012 Ilona rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, health, non-fiction, science

I am an introvert. When I first heard about this book, I was curious and eager to read it. A few introvert friends read it, and praised it to the skies. I read it, and ...

didn't like it.

It took me a while to determine why (thus proving myself an introvert) but by the last chapters, I had it figured out.

The title of this book is "The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World. Making the Most of Your Hidden Strengths". Really? As far as I am concerned, its title should be "Overcomin...more

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Nov 01, 2012 Stacey rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: science, nonfiction, personal-development

Before the author had finished the premise, I realized we lived the same childhood.

The author, an introvert and a psychotherapist, knows introverts. She also knows how to be a successful introvert in a world full of extrovert ideals. She discusses problems and solutions in the workplace, in relationships, in families, and in other situations.

This work is structured such that a reader could be comfortable skipping around and reading the chapters or sections that she finds most interesting/useful...more

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Sep 17, 2012 Katie rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a good, basic book on what it is to be an introvert. An ‘introvert’, according to the psychoanalyst Carl Jung, is someone with a focus towards one’s own thoughts and feelings. An ‘extrovert’, on the other hand, has a personal orientation outward toward the world of people, places and things. If you’ve ever had a Myers Briggs assessment, the first letter of your four letter “type” (an “I” or an “E”) tells you where you fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Marti Olsen Laney provides a...more

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Mar 26, 2012 Emily rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book was a revelation for me. I'm an introvert, okay? I'm coming out of the closet on this. And I discovered, through reading this book, why I might be a little reticent to admit that. Apparently, there's an extrovert bias in the world. They outnumber us 3 to 1 (which was astonishing to me) and the culture values extrovert qualities much more than introvert ones. I was particularly wowed by the sidebar in the book about dictionary definitions. The definition of introversion was almost alway...more This book was a revelation for me. I'm an introvert, okay? I'm coming out of the closet on this. And I discovered, through reading this book, why I might be a little reticent to admit that. Apparently, there's an extrovert bias in the world. They outnumber us 3 to 1 (which was astonishing to me) and the culture values extrovert qualities much more than introvert ones. I was particularly wowed by the sidebar in the book about dictionary definitions. The definition of introversion was almost always phrased negatively, while extroversion was defined positively.
I haven't always known I was introvert. When I took the Myers-Briggs test in high school, I rated an X on the introvert/extrovert scale. That means I was split right down the middle. I took it more recently and am now squarely in introvert territory. I think this is because I know myself better than I did as a teen. If I'd had this book, I'd have figured it out sooner.
Listen, this book is not well-written. It needs an editor and it feels like it was written by a sweet but kooky relative- but in a way, that's part of its charm. If you can get past the repetitive writing and the simplistic solutions, there's a lot to appreciate here.
I understand a great deal more about myself than I did before I read this book. I understand why I get tired when I feel I "shouldn't" be tired. I understand why I need to hibernate or disappear sometimes. I understand why it takes me a long time to respond to stuff from the outside world. It's very helpful to understand that my rhythms have a scientific correlation. I'm still trying to make sense of the difference in brain chemistry and neurotransmitter pathways that she talks about between extrovert and introvert. The fact that there is a difference is fascinating to me.
There were numerous things that the author identified as Introvert qualities that I'd thought of as unique to me. I love that they're not. The book is an extremely useful tool toward finding the best way to operate in a world that doesn't always agree with me.(less)

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Mar 12, 2012 Lafcadio rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: released, psyche

This book started out OK, but the more I read, the more I felt insulted.

Laney goes out of her way to make sure you know that being an introvert is not the same thing as being shy or having social anxiety. Then in nearly every list of suggestions for dealing with other people, she includes "breathe." I'm not hyperventilating or holding my breath every time someone talks to me; I'm just an introvert.

She also goes on and on about introverts being slow thinkers and slow processors and slow workers....more This book started out OK, but the more I read, the more I felt insulted.

Laney goes out of her way to make sure you know that being an introvert is not the same thing as being shy or having social anxiety. Then in nearly every list of suggestions for dealing with other people, she includes "breathe." I'm not hyperventilating or holding my breath every time someone talks to me; I'm just an introvert.

She also goes on and on about introverts being slow thinkers and slow processors and slow workers. That's not really what it's about. Introverts will make sure they have valid arguments to back up their statements all organized in their heads before they voice their statements out loud. It's not that they haven't thought of anything to say yet, it's that they haven't decided if it's worth saying it out loud even if you ask them point blank about their thoughts.

If you blurt out the first sentence that comes to mind while I'm still organizing my entire essay in my head, and then you call me a slow thinker, I will punch you in the face repeatedly, in my mind. I don't think slower; I think MORE. And then I speak less.

And yes, I do not like to be interrupted while I'm working on a project, but it's not going to take me half a day to get back on track. And no, deadlines don't freak me out. Don't tell me to breathe again.

The sections about how to be normal at a party and how to date were insulting as well. If being an introvert is not the same thing as having a social phobia, then I can handle myself at a party or on a date just fine, thankyouverymuch. I'll never be the life of the party, or even the life of the conversation, but I'm an introvert, so I don't want to be, no matter how many lessons in small talk you give me.

"Hi, I'm Marti. How do you know the host? Hi, I love the music they're playing. Do you know the name of the piece? Hi, I'm Marti; Jim is my boss. Isn't this a beautiful home? Isn't the food delicious? I love this backyard."

Gag me. It's not that I don't know how to ask the world's most boring questions to start a conversation. It's that the conversation that would ensue from that point forward would have me napping in no time. (less)

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Mar 02, 2012 Fiona rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: i-also-read-nonfiction-occasionally

I came across this book at exactly the right time, so I got a lot out of it. As far as I'm concerned, its strengths lie not in diagnosing my introversion - of course, I already knew that, why else buy the book? - or in telling me new things about introversion. It did, however, do a fantastic job of reassuring me that the way I am is okay.

Right, says this book, so you're an introvert. You've probably noticed this, this and this about yourself. You've probably noticed this, too - and that's connec...more

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Oct 17, 2011 Angelica rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is full of tips that are applicable to the real world, five stars.
The End.

Most books like this I hate. They spend forever making me do 50-pages silly tests telling me whether I am this or that, then they spend forever again explaining to me how I supposedly work, what problems I have, how my brain works (including the strictly medical stuff) etc. etc. (Oh, I almost forgot to mention the articles/books that strongly propagate for which of intro/extro is the better. Yuck! It just is.)
Thi...more

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Jul 27, 2011 Apryl Anderson rated it 5 of 5 stars

So, that's what's wrong with me! Wait a minute, the shame & blame didn't come from this book. Olsen-Laney did such an excellent job of presenting the differences in temperaments without indicating that one is better than the other--although I have my intrinsic opinions.

All these years, I've been struggling to keep my head above water in this pool of sharks--ops, extroverts--and wondering why I keep sinking. It's so good to know that there is a physiological reason as to why I relate to the w...more

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Jul 03, 2011 Lalah rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm aware of my fondness for false dichotomies, and the introvert/extrovert one is surely not as black and white as I like to think. Most of us have some of both. Even so, I gained a lot from this book. Laney normalizes much about introversion that seems "wrong" in a society where extroversion dominates. She's given me new insight about managing my energy level and my energy needs, and that's going to help at work, at home, and at play. So far, I find myself more willing to give myself a break w...more

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Sep 05, 2010 Kevin Rodriguez rated it 4 of 5 stars

The reason I picked up "The Introvert Advantage" was a strange one. I had little interest in the subject but there was a friend I was having trouble understanding. Another friend pointed out that this person might be an introvert and recommended this book. After reading the book I not only feel I may understand my friend better but myself as well. See, I'm a bit of an introvert myself. I have many extrovert traits, but for the longest time the people described in this book could have been me.

The...more

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Sep 04, 2010 Sara rated it 4 of 5 stars

"The Introvert Advantage" was one of those books that I read just at the right time. We do live in an extroverted world, where being socially active, vocally witty, and pleasantly rambunctious is valued. Dr. Laney states that there is a scale between extreme introverts and extreme extroverts, and many people fall somewhere between the two extremes. She goes on to explain physiological reasons why these two types of people are different, all the advantages introverts have, and the ways introverts...more

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Aug 10, 2010 Elizabeth rated it 5 of 5 stars

Things I learned from this book:
- 75% of people are extroverts
- introverts often feel drained or overstimulated
- introverts get energy from the internal world, extroverts from the external world
- introverts like depth, extroverts like breadth
- introverts & extroverts may unsettle each other because they think & talk differently
- introverts NEED to take breaks regularly, preferably before feeling the need for them
- introverts may speak slowly, not show much facial expression, not offer id...more

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Aug 01, 2010 Victoria Klein rated it 4 of 5 stars

For introverts (like myself), it is easy to feel like an island, lost all alone in your head. The replies from Ode readers were heartwarming & honest, proving that the 1 in 4 of us that are introverts aren’t alone.

A book like this should be required reading in all schools, probably around middle-school-level. The concept of being an introvert is widely misunderstood, and author Marti does a downright phenomenal job at debunking those myths. From page 19:

Introversion is at its root a type of...more For introverts (like myself), it is easy to feel like an island, lost all alone in your head. The replies from Ode readers were heartwarming & honest, proving that the 1 in 4 of us that are introverts aren’t alone.

A book like this should be required reading in all schools, probably around middle-school-level. The concept of being an introvert is widely misunderstood, and author Marti does a downright phenomenal job at debunking those myths. From page 19:

Introversion is at its root a type of temperament. It is not the same as shyness or having a withdrawn personality, and it is not pathological. It is also not something you can change. But you can learn to work with it, not against it … The strongest distinguishing characteristic of introverts is their energy source: Introverts draw energy from their internal world of ideas, emotions, and impressions. They are energy conservers. They can be easily overstimulated by the external world, experiencing the uncomfortable feeling of “too much.”

For a more relative analogy, Marti writes on page 20:

Introverts are like a rechargeable battery. They need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge. Extroverts are like solar panels … Solar panels need the sun to recharge – extroverts need to be out and about to refuel.

After an intelligent introduction to the differences between introverts & extroverts, Marti goes on to cover evolutionary & biological reasons how & why the two key personality types developed. While psychology is an important element when talking about introverts, Marti provides detailed information about scientific documentation introversion, extroversion, and how the differences affect our thought processes. Finally, she wraps up the book with 3 full chapters with tips, tricks, and advice on how to live a full, progressive introvert life.

I can’t say enough about how impressive this book is. While I had a feeling I was a bit of an introvert, reading The Introvert Advantage only stood to cement the concept. Many folks I’ve met just don’t understand me & I’ve never really known what to tell them. Thanks to Marti’s book, that has all changed. For the first time in my life, I’m not terrified by the concept of socializing because I know, thanks to what I’ve learned, I know how to handle any situation that comes along in my life … in my own introvert-style way.(less)

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Aug 03, 2009 Lindsey rated it 3 of 5 stars

I almost gave this four stars for being so enlightening and explaining to me the true nature of introversion vs. extroversion, which I either forgot or somehow failed to remember from personality psych in college. (It's not that we hate people! When I hate people, it's for completely different reasons than my introversion!) I mean, I knew I was an introvert all along, but I didn't realize exactly what that meant about my neuropathways or energy derivation, and I had NO IDEA how many seemingly un...more

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About Marti Olsen Laney

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America’s foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada.

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Books by Marti Olsen Laney

The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child: Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World

The Introvert and Extrovert in Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract

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“Having people in different optimal environments increases the chances of survival of the human race as a whole. It is nature's way to preserve her species.” — 3 people liked it

“The introvert is pressured daily, almost from the moment of awakening, to respond and conform to the outer world.” — 1 person liked it

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