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A Grief Observed

by C.S. Lewis

4.16 · rating details · 7,912 ratings · 684 reviews

This very personal anguished story of the death of Lewis's wife is reissued with a foreword by Madeleine L'Engle. The celebrated author shares an intense account of the meaning of death with wit and insight.

Paperback, 112 pages

Published February 6th 2001 by HarperCollins Publishers (first published January 1st 1961)

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Aug 16, 2010

K.D. rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: Grieving people; Fans of C. S. Lewis

Recommended to K.D. by: 501 Must Read Books

Shelves: 501, memoirs

Heartwrenching narrative about death and mourning. Inspiring musings of somebody who have just lost his loved one. Musings that include all phases of grief from shock, pain, acceptance and moving on. He even went to the stage of questioning the existence and love of God but in a way is so thought-provoking even people with strong faith will need to double check his deep-seated beliefs.

This 76-page poignant, partly angry and deeply moving journal by Clive Staples (C. S.) Lewis (1898-1...moreHeartwrenching narrative about death and mourning. Inspiring musings of somebody who have just lost his loved one. Musings that include all phases of grief from shock, pain, acceptance and moving on. He even went to the stage of questioning the existence and love of God but in a way is so thought-provoking even people with strong faith will need to double check his deep-seated beliefs.

This 76-page poignant, partly angry and deeply moving journal by Clive Staples (C. S.) Lewis (1898-1963) was first published in 1961 following the death (bone cancer, 1960) of his wife Helen Joy Gresham (nee Davidman) who Lewis fondly referred to as simply H. C. S. Lewis died just two years after this book was published.

This book seems to be an ideal companion for people who are in bereavement. While reading, you'll have this feeling that Lewis' thoughts are yours. This is a good idea because C. S. Lewis is one remarkable Christian writer (Screwtape Letters, Miracles: A Preliminary Study, Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life, etc) and his thoughts are inspiring and can strengthen one's faith especially if that someone has just lost a loved one.

I had my share of deaths in the family. I lost my dad in 1997. My last grandparent died in 1984. Last month, the 15-y/o daughter (as young as my daughter Jillian) of a first cousin died from leukemia. Yesterday, the day I read this book, my maternal aunt was buried.

Thus, I was able to identify with Lewis. I just had to pull out those painful death experiences while reading Lewis' narratives. I rode with him in his journey of emotions from his initial shock (Chapter 1), doubts on the love and wisdom of God (Chapter 2), followed by acceptance recognizing that love does not end with death (Chapter 3) and finally moving on with a positive attitude and hope that living is still worthwhile (Chapter 4). It also offers what you should do to comfort a friend who has just lost someone. Do you say "she is now at peace"? or "everything happens for a reason?" or "there is no death" and "death does not matter"? or "she will now live forever in your memory"? or "she is now with God"? In his moment of grief, Lewis explained that all these words are shallow if not meaningless or even some of them are untrue. Something that most of us normally say and we thought that those are comforting could actually be received by our friend as just plain blubbers or even insulting.

Before, when reading, I used to write on the very last page of the book, the page numbers where the nice quotes are. Lately, I got tired of looking for a pen when reading so I adapted my lawyer-brother's style of folding the upper right-hand corner the page. Out of 76 pages, I almost tip-folded every page! There were even those pages that I could not decide which direction I would like the fold to be.

But this is my favorite as this, for me, is the most heart-wrenching of them all:

"Oh God, God, why did you take such trouble to force this creature out of his shell if it is now doomed to crawl back - to be sucked back - into it?"

This is particularly striking because C. S. Lewis found love in the late middle-age when he met Joy, an American writer and a single-mother (of two sons). One of these two sons, Douglas H. Gresham, even wrote the second introduction of the edition I have of this book. It is a very relevant piece telling what kind of a stepfather Lewis was and how true Lewis and his mother's love was for each other only to be cut short by death. Gresham also stressed that The indefinite article (the "A") in the title serves to make it clear that Lewis's grief is not the quintessential grief experience at the loss of a loved one, but one individual's perspective among countless others. Even a letter in the title makes a lot of "comforting" difference.

A stunning book: A Grief Observed (always remember the "A")!(less)

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Jan 27, 2011

booklady rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: anyone dealing w/grief

Shelves: 2002, autobiography, philosophy, psychology, spiritual, favorites

Do we find a book or does it find us? A Grief Observed seemed to 'find' me when I needed consoling insight after my brother died; C. S. Lewis was foreverafter a friend who not only knew and understood something very profound, but also had been there for me when I needed him.

A Grief Observed was also my introduction to the immortal Lewis, having missed the Narnian Chronicles in my childhood. While an improbable first book, Grief is no less excellent for being anomalous. Lewis wrote...more

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Sep 24, 2010

Louize rated it

· review of another edition

Unlike C.S. Lewis, it was my dad whom I lost 17 years ago; but when he said that “grief felt so like fear” in the beginning of his book, I believe I know what he meant ; or, to make it more precise, I think he knows exactly what he’s talking about.

A Grief Observed offers a look at a man in deep despair, who doubted God because of it, but eventually emerges with a deep understanding of himself, his love for his departed wife, and of God.

In the first part, the question he presented is ...moreUnlike C.S. Lewis, it was my dad whom I lost 17 years ago; but when he said that “grief felt so like fear” in the beginning of his book, I believe I know what he meant ; or, to make it more precise, I think he knows exactly what he’s talking about.

A Grief Observed offers a look at a man in deep despair, who doubted God because of it, but eventually emerges with a deep understanding of himself, his love for his departed wife, and of God.

In the first part, the question he presented is not “Do God really exist?”, but rather ”Is God truly good?” If so, then why is a good God would allow man to suffer?

Along the way, he referred to God as the Cosmic Sadist. He said that God needs to shake and torture us for us to realize that we have some higher purpose. Although I wouldn’t be so bold as to call God a sadist, I do believe that He allows grief for us to experience and appreciate life more fully. Knowing both sides of the coin, grief and joy, allows us to see God’s face and acknowledge His presence in our lives. For indeed on our own, faith is like a house of cards build on thin air, until God knocks it down and call us to build on a firm foundation.

During his slow recuperation from sorrow, Lewis tackles the question ”How can one overcome grief without betraying the departed?”

”There is no denying that in some sense I feel better; and with that comes at once a sort of shame…” In this I have to fully agree with his reasoning. It is true that prolonging our unhappiness does not convey our deepest love for the departed, nor do we give justice to their memories. That in sorrow, we can have no distinctive memory of them; that every image we conjure of them is canceled by our miseries, leaving us more confused. It is when we are at peace that we remember them more clearly, sometimes leaving a smile to our lips.

In his reconciliation with God, Lewis mentioned the perfection of things, like marriage. Therefore, such things could not be prolonged and we then have to move on. This fact really hit me most. That no matter how close and perfect my husband and I are for each other, death will separate us. “It was too perfect to last”, he said. The mere thought of it sends shiver through me. My only recourse is to hold on to God’s promise of hope; Christ will gather us all in his return. We will be together again.

Lastly, he mentioned, ”Now get on with it. Become a god.” Apostle Paul said as much in his epistle to the missionary churches.

Most people think that we are but a handful of dust to begin with and to dust we shall return in the end. For anyone else who believes that we are created in the image of God, our goal should be to know more & more about Christ, and strive to emulate him at all times. We do have a higher purpose, that life has a meaning and so is death.

The first part of this book is set in Lewis’ very deep anger at God which shows, and so requires an amount of discernment; and the final part is a good source of encouragement. A Grief Observed is a great book for those in deep sorrow because of loss, and for those who are questioning their faith.
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Mar 01, 2009

Medeline Sinclair rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: most-loved

I read this book for the first time something like four years ago. Me, like everyone else who had gone through the loss of a beloved, will surely recognize the same emotions that Lewis describes.
It's not easy to give a rational review of this book. It's something like a mirror, reading that words make you feel like Lewis had been looking into your heart when he wrote it.
But this is not only a portrait of a loss. It would be reductive to say that he only speaks about his pain. First o...moreI read this book for the first time something like four years ago. Me, like everyone else who had gone through the loss of a beloved, will surely recognize the same emotions that Lewis describes.
It's not easy to give a rational review of this book. It's something like a mirror, reading that words make you feel like Lewis had been looking into your heart when he wrote it.
But this is not only a portrait of a loss. It would be reductive to say that he only speaks about his pain. First of all, the main theme is love. May I say it is about Love.
It's because that love existed that it could be "lost".
It's moving the way he talks about his wife and I don't think there will ever be a woman who doesn't want that kind of love. Friendship, complicity, loyality, honesty, protection, this and much more was what formed their relationship.
Lewis talks about his two major loves: God and his wife.
He asks that question everybody who have been in pain had at least once asked to God: why? And he does get angry. He does get sad, he does scream through ink on paper. He screams about his suffering and ours.
But yet, this is not a book about pain.
There is fear. There is hope. It's not bitter, it's bittersweet, since through screams he understands that a goodbye is not forever, through anger he understands that nothing is really over. That she is not really over, she is not really dead till he has got that everlasting hope to rejoin the ones we loved.
The book comes near the end with an appointment: she'll be there when it will be his time. It's quite funny the way she says that neither Heaven or Hell could stop her. And then the book ends leaving you with a little sad smile, a bittersweet emotion which is a mixture of hope, fear, sadness and courage.
This book helped me a lot in my darkest days. We know he used to say that you become friend with someone saying "you too". That's why I use to think about him like a friend, a mentor, a man who wasn't just an intellectual but also a man who was able to touch the human heart in its most wounded spots without fall in the mere complaining.
I suggest this book to anyone who have suffered the same things even if sometimes it takes bravery to look in the mirror of your suffering, but once you had you had found a new friend and new hopes.(less)

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Sep 09, 2008

Lavinia rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: 2005, journals-biographies-memoirs, in-en

"a grief observed" e probabil una din cele mai cutremuratoare carti care mi-au cazut in mina. cei care i-ati citit biografia ["surprised by joy"] stiti ca procesul lui de convertire a fost unul rational si lipsit de focuri de artificii. de fapt cam in toate scrierile [din cit am citit & obsevat eu] pare sa aiba un soi de detasare rationala. tocmai din cauza asta am fost mai mult decit uimita sa descopar aici un lewis pasional si introspectiv, scriitorul cedindu-i loc barbatul...more

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Feb 03, 2008

Dennis Baker rated it

Favorite Quotes:

"I once read the sentence 'I lay awake all night with a toothache, thinking about the toothache an about lying awake.' That's true to life. Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief."

"I see people, as they approac...more

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Dec 31, 2010

Bryan rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: Christians, Theologians, Casual Readers

Shelves: to-read-again, christianity, highly-recommend, autobiography

The book is honest, and that is a remarkable thing for an author, C.S. Lewis, seeking to relate the experience of watching his wife die and then coping with the loss thereafter.

I read this book over a year ago, and many parts wander through my mind still. One in particular is the last paragraph, where he shares the last living moment with his wife:

(Paraphrasing)
I said to her, "When I am dying and am lying on my bed, I should like it very much if you would co...more

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Oct 10, 2011

Courtney Johnston rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: biography, borrowed, extraordinary

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing."

I don't think I've ever felt the prickle of tears over the first paragraph of a book.

'A Grief Observed' is barely a book - 70 small pages of short paragraphs - lancing, glancing thoughts. Lewis wrote as a way of coping after the death of his wife from bone cancer...more

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Jul 17, 2011

elfsi rated it

Shelves: bintanglima_recomended, christianity-terjemahan, favorites

Sepenggal kalimat sebagai awal ketertarikan menikmati untaian kalimat “mengupas duka” didalam buku ini :

“Tidak ada yang pernah memberitahuku kalau kesedihan itu sama dengan ketakutan. Aku tidak takut, tapi aku merasa takut. Perutku sakit, aku resah, mengantuk. Dan aku harus terus mengalaminya.”

Aku tahu yang namanya kehilangan atau tepatnya dipisahkan oleh kematian seseorang yang sangat kita cintai pasti rasanya sangat menyedihkan seolah-olah kita ingin terus mengenangnya...moreSepenggal kalimat sebagai awal ketertarikan menikmati untaian kalimat “mengupas duka” didalam buku ini :

“Tidak ada yang pernah memberitahuku kalau kesedihan itu sama dengan ketakutan. Aku tidak takut, tapi aku merasa takut. Perutku sakit, aku resah, mengantuk. Dan aku harus terus mengalaminya.”

Aku tahu yang namanya kehilangan atau tepatnya dipisahkan oleh kematian seseorang yang sangat kita cintai pasti rasanya sangat menyedihkan seolah-olah kita ingin terus mengenangnya dan hidup bersamanya, hidup tanpa harapan dan seolah – olah semua tidak ada gunanya, sia – sia bahkan kepercayaan kepadaNya pun terasa seolah tak berguna.

Tapi aku lebih lagi mengerti semua itu bahkan seperti mengalaminya setelah membaca buku ini.
Buku ini kisah seseorang yang berusaha untuk pulih dan pada akhirnya mengalahkan kelumpuhan emosional karena dukacita yang paling menghancurkan dalam hidupnya ketika isterinya meninggal dunia.
Seorang yang mungkin awalnya tidak ingin berbagi tentang hal terdalam bahkan duka terdalam didalam dirinya pada orang lain, itu sebabnya ada inisial “H” dalam buku ini dan tetap dibiarkan dalam inisial itu, yang tak lain adalah nama isterinya sendiri.
Curahan hati yang sangat menyentuh dan membuatku ikut tersesak merasakan duka itu.

Tidak ada satupun foto yang dapat benar- benar menggantikan senyuman kekasih kita. Kadang-kadang, kilasan seseorang yang lewat di jalan, seseorang yang hidup, bergerak, bertindak akan membangkitkan kenangan itu. Namun kenangan kita, meskipun sangat berharga, bolong-bolong seperti saringan, dan pelan – pelan kenangan itu akan menghilang.
“Jangan bicara padaku mengenai penghiburan dari agama atau aku akan menduga bahwa sebenarnya kau tidak tau apa- apa” tulis Lewis.

Mungkin sejenak aku akan tertegun seolah merasa bagaimana mungkin seorang raksasa intelektual, dan penulis buku rohani yang diakui paling berpengaruh di masanya dapat mengalami duka yang begitu dalam.

Hingga akhirnya aku menuju kesimpulan mungkin suatu hari nanti aku akan mengalaminya, ketika aku akan kehilangan Pasangan Hidupku, tapi aku setuju pada tulisan Lewis bahwa ‘kesedihan itu bukan akhir dalam pernikahan, tapi hanya salah satu fase yang harus dilewati sama seperti bulan madu, yang kita inginkan adalah menjalani pernikahan kita dengan baik dan melewati fase itu :)
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Jul 10, 2008

Sarah Sammis rated it

Shelves: released, challenge

Until I read A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis was only an author who I knew through his Narnia series. As it's not one of my favorite series by far Lewis hasn't been on my radar when I'm looking for books to read. He did though have a long scholarly career and I think as time permits I would like to read more of his nonfiction.

Lewis wrote A Grief Observed as an emotional response to his wife's death. He and (Helen) Joy Davidman had a short and at the time unconventional relationship du...more

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Jan 06, 2009

Julie rated it

My second favorite book by Lewis. The books shows us that we never really know what we will do until confronted by the harsh realities of life. We can think we know or that we have the answers; we may watch other people struggle and judge them, but---until the unthinkable--the loss of a close loved one happens, we don't really know. Experiences in life happen to show us our "house of cards" and God does knock them down so we will know our foundation is not as deep as it should be. ...more

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Feb 05, 2009

Tracy rated it

I picked up A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis soon after finding out my mother's husband had passed away. I wanted to get an idea of what my mother was going through--what it was like to lose the most cherished of loved ones, one's own spouse.

A Grief Observed is about a real man's (Lewis') struggle not only with the death of his wife, but also with the God whom he claimed to believe in. It is intellectual--for Lewis is a very intelligent and logical academic and Christian apologist--b...moreI picked up A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis soon after finding out my mother's husband had passed away. I wanted to get an idea of what my mother was going through--what it was like to lose the most cherished of loved ones, one's own spouse.

A Grief Observed is about a real man's (Lewis') struggle not only with the death of his wife, but also with the God whom he claimed to believe in. It is intellectual--for Lewis is a very intelligent and logical academic and Christian apologist--but also raw, candid, uncensored. Though no one person's grief is identical to another's, there is a fundamental truth found in all people's grief, and Lewis captures the nature of that truth when he recounts his own grief after losing his wife.

His was a brief marriage, begun in the hospital when his wife was ill with cancer. He knew her death was imminent--that she would most likely die before he did--yet he loved her still and wanted to marry her. It was a love that could not last, which begs the question, "Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?" The hard truth is that all people who marry will lose the other--we all live in death's dark shadow. It certainly puts marriage in a whole new and ephemeral light.

On page 5-6, Lewis writes of his grief, "Meanwhile, where is God?...But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence." Though a man of strong Christian faith, Lewis' foundation was shaken when his wife died. A Grief Observed is the journey through his doubt, anger, frustration, weakness and humility.

I like this story most of all because it shows that it's okay to be angry with God, to struggle with Him and to question the things He allows to happen. If it weren't okay, it wouldn't be a genuine relationship. We are human after all, filled with human emotions and desires. But if we keep trusting and seeking after God—even when He seems to have disappeared—He will prove Himself faithful, thereby increasing our own faith. "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:6-7). Lewis went through the fires of hell when he grieved for his wife, but instead of perishing, his faith was refined and proved genuine.(less)

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Jan 01, 2009

Andre rated it

To state the obvious, this is about Lewis's struggle to cope with the death of his wife. And without a doubt, this is something that I don't know about (perhaps one day I shall be privileged enough to be in a situation where a marriage ends due to the death of one of us).

But the fact of the matter is that this book is about getting over loss. Loss takes so many forms that when one, like I did, read it in the context of being angry that Lewis could dare bitch and moan about losing his...more

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Dec 25, 2011

Elliot rated it

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Shelves: religion

The death of my sister has never so much haunted me as the fact that I have virtually no recollection of life with her. My most impressing sensation of grief differs wildly from Lewis's; the past 9 years of my family life have so strongly felt her absence, but the tears that slip from my eyes beside her grave each year are tears for the deep pain I know my family feels, and for the loss of normalcy, and for something near self-pity because I do not feel the ineffable sorrow nor do I sense the wo...moreThe death of my sister has never so much haunted me as the fact that I have virtually no recollection of life with her. My most impressing sensation of grief differs wildly from Lewis's; the past 9 years of my family life have so strongly felt her absence, but the tears that slip from my eyes beside her grave each year are tears for the deep pain I know my family feels, and for the loss of normalcy, and for something near self-pity because I do not feel the ineffable sorrow nor do I sense the world as fundamentally skewed as any mother who outlives her daughter must.

But this book discusses not Grief but A Grief, and C.S. Lewis's journals make an excellent companion through any traumatic experience. Heartbreak, loneliness, of coures death. Loss of any sort. Whatever unwelcome upsets remind us of our smallness and frailty, and of the absurdity that we could ever imagine ourselves as those capable of being Great. Lewis does not claim expertise, and his writing is less instructive as it is revealing. It puts words, beautiful words, to a sensation that chokes so many of us. It provides no answers -- there are none, of course.

Lewis is an unconvincing theolgian but a marvelous poet, and he displays the best of his gift for composition in these four brief ruminations on the Christian god, pain, loss, and love. Lewis did not write A Grief Observed as a didactic theological text, so I won't bother with a discussion of the various flaws in his arguments for his particular interpretation of the Christian god. His god serves as the starting point for a number of truly powerful musings on fate and the definition of goodness, and his invocation of his god only jars the nonbelieving reader in the final chapter (which the work could've done without). Douglas Gresham's otherwise satisfactory introudction also would be improved by removing the two bizarre and out-of-place references to Satan, and his rather bold assertion that there is an immutable path from atheism to agnosticism to theism to Christianity.

I still highly recommend this short read to anyone. C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite writers. His elegant prose spins across my mouth, and he is infinitely quotable. I like him here, in his most unprotected, personal moments. This is a work that his Muse wrote in sporadic bursts, relentlessly, sometimes with contradiction, but never (or, if we include the last chapter, almost never) a slip in wisdom, energy, or an apt ability to put words to the wordless. I know that I will be returning to this work often.(less)

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Nov 16, 2011

Rachel Rueckert rated it

Shelves: religious

A Grief Observed is one of my favorite works by C.S. Lewis. I feel like Lewis’ honesty is what makes it so meaningful. Death and coping with grief is no easy challenge in this life, yet, it is a part of it. Watching my best friend lose her younger brother last December, being with her at the hospital, I remember feeling so completely helpless to ease her pain. I could just be there—be there and let her know that I was there for her. I ended up buying her this book before I had even read i...more A Grief Observed is one of my favorite works by C.S. Lewis. I feel like Lewis’ honesty is what makes it so meaningful. Death and coping with grief is no easy challenge in this life, yet, it is a part of it. Watching my best friend lose her younger brother last December, being with her at the hospital, I remember feeling so completely helpless to ease her pain. I could just be there—be there and let her know that I was there for her. I ended up buying her this book before I had even read it because I thought it would be spiritually uplifting. I didn’t realize until reading it for the first time this week that it is a lot more than that.

What I find most refreshing about this grief observed is that it does not pretend that religion is a magical pill that will alleviate all of our pain in this life. Lewis highlights this well when he says “talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolation of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand” (25). The Atonement of Jesus Christ is a miraculous healer, but it does not work overnight. I like to think that time and Jesus heal all, but that does not necessarily mean we have perfect enough perspective to not be devastated by death. It should help, but it will not make it easy.

And yet, I think that is okay, especially within my own religious tradition as a Latter-day Saint. As Lewis says later in this book, perhaps this is a part of life and learning to become better, though doubts might creep in. But if we look to the Bible we see that Jesus wept for Lazarus even though He knew He could raise him from the dead. In the Pearl of Great Price we see God crying over the wickedness of his creations. Even watching President Hinckley and how he dealt with his own wife’s death was heart wrenching because his sense of deep loss was so apparent.

It is okay to weep. It is okay to mourn for what was and seems lost. It is okay to question at times. It is okay to doubt sometimes as well. The important part is that we work through those doubts and try to remain close to God throughout the process, even if it might feel like the last thing we want to do at the moment.
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Aug 20, 2011

Nikki rated it

Shelves: non-fiction, philosophy

It's hard to rate something like this book. The text itself acknowledges the truth of the title: it is a single grief observed, not grief in general. Interest in C. S. Lewis and his life, or his point of view on faith, or interest in this book through recent grief of your own, is the best portal into this book.

I haven't lost anyone as near and dear to me as H. to Jack. I lost my grandmother recently, and I recognise some of the feelings he describes -- and oh, how much do I fear feel...more

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May 25, 2011

Melody rated it

Shelves: read-2011

This was a very good book. I was surprised, at first, by the way that it was written, but as I got further into it, I realized that Lewis wrote it for himself more than anyone else, and then later published it. I'm sure it would have been even more meaningful to me, had I read it at a time when I was grieving. He wrote the entire book after losing his wife to cancer. Here is one of my favorite thoughts from the book:

"Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the...more

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Nov 16, 2010

_topo_ rated it

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</i>Un modo di affrontare lo stesso mio dolore (la perdita della moglie) in un modo opposto al mio. Lui sceglie di fuggire dal dolore con la teologia e con disquisizioni piuttosto banali sul fatto se Dio è buono o cattivo. La scelta mia è stata quella di accettare il dolore, accoglierlo, viverlo, senza cercare di pensare ad altro. Per lui questo abbandono è un "crogiolarsi nella sofferenza, l'orrida e appiccicosa voluttà del pianto - che disgusto". L'altra cosa che stupisce è che...more

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Oct 23, 2010

Elle Drue rated it

Shelves: inspirational, memoir

"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in...
Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fa...more

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Aug 14, 2010

Jinky rated it

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Shelves: read-in-2010

*(I could not find the edition that I read from so I chose this because this has the same cover picture. Edition I read was 1996 isbn=978-0-06-065238-8)*

This book was originally published in 1961 under the pseudonym of N.W. Clerk then restored under C.S. Lewis in 1996. This is a memoir of Mr. Lewis' lament of his beloved wife's death.

This went over my head! His thoughts and questions were too deep for me to get a grip. It had a poetry feel to it and you know how I a...more

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Jul 18, 2010

Paul rated it

This book encountered me like probably only two other books - Wild at Heart and Final Quest, as related to the timing of reading it along with the message it carries. I think "intellectually poetic" is the way I would describe it, as they've re-printed Lewis' personal journals while walking through his grieving his wife's death. I've only seen one other person whose journals were on a completely different level (it was a girl, and hers were just naturally beautiful and poetic as oppo...more

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Mar 10, 2010

Allenh rated it

This is C.S. Lewis "raw." A very important book for any Lewisian scholar. This book is for anyone who has lost someone- and is probably the one Lewis book I often find missing on my shelf, because I've given it away. This is the story, through Lews' eyes of the death of his wife due to cancer. Lewis kept a journal through his grief of his wife's passing, and we get to read it in the form of this book. Perfect for anyone of faith who has lost someone close to them. Don't expect the same...more

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Jan 17, 2010

Paula rated it

· review of another edition

The majority of the edition I read is a multi-volume journal (but not at all lengthy) Lewis wrote in after the death of his wife. As is true of all suffers of grief, Lewis's moods vacillate widely from day to day as he contemplates the justification of a god that is willing to cause pain and suffering but does not offer explanations for doing so. The four sections of this part of the book indicate the four journals Lewis used to record his thoughts and feelings, but there are no specific dates g...more

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Jan 15, 2010

Mrs. Foley rated it

I downloaded this audiobook from the public library as I am a fan (and VERY distant relative) of C.S. Lewis. I don't think I enjoyed this book in the audio format as much as I would have if I had read it in print. A book like this needs to be studied and certain statements re-read in order to grasp their meaning and to learn and grow. I also listened to it while driving to and from school which certainly did not help my ability to stay focused on the text!

Revew from Amazon:
C...more

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Dec 08, 2011

Sara rated it

· review of another edition

"I sometimes think that shame, mere awkward, senseless shame, does as much towards preventing good acts and straightforward happiness as any of our vices can do." p.9

"Is God a clown who whips away your bowl of soup one moment in order, next moment, to replace it with another bowl of the same soup?" p.15

"Slowly, quietly, like snow-flakes, like the small flakes that come when it is going to snow all night - little flakes of me, my impressions, my select...more

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Nov 30, 2011

Teresa B rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: everyone

Recommended to Teresa by: a widower friend

Shelves: non-fiction, mind-body-connection, grief, everyone-should-read, inspirational

Every person should read this raw, brutally honest portrayal of one author's personal rantings through "the stages of grief" following his wife's death. Those who have experienced the trauma of losing a spouse to death will find empowering validation for their own tempestuous emotions. Those who have not endured such a loss may, through the eloquence of Lewis's imagery, be able to better approach an approximate understanding of what it means for those who have.

A recent wido...more

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Mar 18, 2010

Brad rated it

Written after the death of Joy, Lewis's wife and great love, this book carries immense pain and loss. Lewis, perhaps for the first time, wrestles with faith, not as an intellectual abstraction but as a real human need. Gone from his writing is the arid logic of Mere Christianity, gone is the painfully simple explication of the Problem with Pain. The grief is real, in some places painful even to the reader. It is this grief, the pain so apparent, almost oppressive, that gives the work its str...moreWritten after the death of Joy, Lewis's wife and great love, this book carries immense pain and loss. Lewis, perhaps for the first time, wrestles with faith, not as an intellectual abstraction but as a real human need. Gone from his writing is the arid logic of Mere Christianity, gone is the painfully simple explication of the Problem with Pain. The grief is real, in some places painful even to the reader. It is this grief, the pain so apparent, almost oppressive, that gives the work its strength.

It seems that hitherto, Lewis had come to faith through the rationality of it. Or rather, he had come to it and then reached for rationally in order to lessen the absurdity of faith, to make his faith more palatable to his rationalism. This is the first work in which faith seems to overwhelm him, to become real to him. It is the first work in which he seems to need faith. He reaches, desperately; a drowning man. He resists the abandonment of reason, resists the movement of Kierkegaard, resists the leap into the absurd, but the absurd is closer to the surface than in any of his other text, save perhaps Till We Have Faces.

Lewis writes "All reality is iconoclastic." A Grief Observed is the work of a shattered man. All of Lewis's images, his icons, his imaginations and systems and plans and philosophies are broken and laid bare. He looks for God, but finds silence. He is deeply afraid, not of death per se, but of the separation from his beloved, separation without reunion. Over and over again he returns to the hope that some day, he might see her again. Over and over again he checks himself, worrying that he has forgotten her, dreading the day when she would cease as a real person in his memory and be transformed into an icon. He desperately clings to every echo, every impression.

The text is a collection of short semi continuous paragraphs. It is at times an unsettling read. At times it feels too private, too personal, as if we were standing with him at the funeral home. At least, if I were there, I could put my hand on his shoulder, do something real. In the abstract, infinitely distant from the actual grief, this book is overwhelming.

It is a hard book to read, though it is short and simple. Lewis recklessly assails the absurd tropes of grief, insistently denying himself any false comfort. In this way, he reminds me a touch of Kierkegaard, demanding real relief, or none at all. He flits back and forth, between wanting the pain to pass and wanting the pain to be eternal. There is a hint of infinite resignation in this, because at least in his grief, the memories of her are close and real. If the grief passes, then perhaps some little remnant of her will be gone as well.(less)

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Dec 20, 2011

Bob Colwick rated it

Shelves: religion

I imagine that this is one of C.S. Lewis' books that isn't generally read by the casual Lewis fan...it isn't a gripping fantasy and its thoughts on God are muddled throughout (though amazingly reconciled - sort of - at the end); rather, this collection of thoughts from Lewis as he grieves the loss of his wife is a painfully honest journey into his mind, emotions, and soul. Even though Lewis is considered a giant in the realm of modern-day Christian apologists, he doesn't shirk away from his con...more

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Nov 22, 2011

Bianca O rated it

A brief journey through one man's grief over his lost spouse. It was like reading the stream of conscious ramblings of a person struggling with the fine line between bereavement and idolatry. As someone who has not lost a spouse, or a parent, I found this book to be very dark and sad. Perhaps in a state of bereavement I would find it comforting or affirming, but outside of that I found myself sort of detached and confiused. He poses some interesting questions, and it's easy to see they are driv...more

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Jun 16, 2011

John Shaver rated it

· review of another edition

The definitive literary exploration of heart-felt grief, this book is insightful, witty, and possibly even therapeudic. It is written in a meandering, diary-entry kind of way, but that only serves to give it a very personal touch and keep Lewis' deep observations and insights from feeling all too academic. This is no Hallmark card representation of grief, but the real deal. Lewis doesn't hold back from giving God a piece of his mind, but it will be obvious to readers from the get-go (just as ...more

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About C.S. Lewis

Clive Staples "Jack" Lewis was an Irish writer and scholar. Lewis is known for his work on medieval literature, Christian apologetics, literary criticism, and fiction. He is best known today in secular culture for his series Chronicles of Narnia.

Lewis taught as a fellow of Magdalen College, Oxford from 1925 to 1954, and later was the first Professor of Medieval and Renaissanc...more

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Books by C.S. Lewis

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia, #2)

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Chronicles of Narnia, #5)

The Magician's Nephew (Chronicles of Narnia, #1)

Prince Caspian (Chronicles of Narnia, #4)

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“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” — 404 people liked it

“Knock and it shall be opened.' But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac?” — 45 people liked it

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