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The Five Love Languages of Teenagers

4.11  ·  Rating Details  ·  1,226 Ratings  ·  167 Reviews
At no other time have parents, teachers, and mentors been more desperate to find proven ways to reach teens. In response, best-selling author Gary Chapman presents The Five Love Languages of Teenagers -- practical guidance on how to discover and express the teen's primary love language. It is a tangible resource for stemming the tide of violence, immorality, and despair en ...more
Hardcover, 259 pages
Published December 31st 2000 by Northfield Press (first published March 1st 2000)
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Do Hard Things by Alex  HarrisI Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua HarrisBefore You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah MallyRedeeming Love by Francine RiversEdna in the Desert by Maddy Lederman
YA Female Christian
21st out of 95 books — 50 voters
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Best Christian Parenting Books
12th out of 16 books — 3 voters


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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Rachel
Dec 05, 2009 Rachel rated it it was ok
I think I finished it. You know what? I KNOW I finished it. It doesn't matter if the statement is true because I refuse to pick it up again.

I can't understand why Gary Chapman would want to write another book about Love Languages (For teens this time) when the people who understood his first one (for spouses) would very likely be able to translate it into love for teens. The only logical explanation appears to be:for the money.

In any case, I don't care for this book. I think the paper it was wri
...more
Kathrine Holyoak
Jun 03, 2011 Kathrine Holyoak rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The only reason I caught up to this series is because our bookgroup chose it. I surmised the gist of the method but had avoided it, perceiving it too "hocus/pocus, touchy/feely" for my likes. I intended to skim and quickly return it to the library. Imagine my surprise upon discovering parenting stategies that could have been so meaningful years and children ago. My loss, and my family's loss. Chapman has a gift for serving it straight up in a way that is neither belittling or naive. I credit him ...more
Rebecca
Apr 17, 2012 Rebecca rated it liked it
I liked the approach this book took in helping me understand the actions that most convey love to my teen. As with learning styles, people have love styles as well, and while we may think we are conveying love to a child or spouse, if we aren't speaking their "love language", they may not actually be getting our message of love. Come to find out, my son most clearly experiences love through quality time spent together. This might seem like a no-brainer, but quality time is different from just sp ...more
Yakking Yogini
Sep 11, 2012 Yakking Yogini rated it really liked it
The author has been a marriage/family counselor for over 30 years who addresses relationship issues from a Christian worldview. His main premise, that we all need unconditional love and that we all have a certain "love language" as part of our personality by which we most like to give and receive love. The trick is to discover your teen's primary love language and to express it as often as possible. I always wondered why my mother never gave me hugs and kisses, but lost buttons would magically a ...more
Kim
Aug 22, 2010 Kim rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I think this was a really helpful book to read - to try to understand my teenager a little better. I say try, because it's a constant battle. What I didn't like about the book is that most of the things that we battle over - the author relates it to their trying to be in control of their lives, and define themselves as their own person. While I value that, there are times when they still need to do things with their family, or what we ask - just because we ask them to.
Kikashi
Jan 18, 2010 Kikashi rated it really liked it
Thumbs up! I haven't read any other Chapman books, but understand the concept of the love languages. That being said, I believe this book is much more than a repeat of the same ideas. Teens are a uniquely challenging age! This book clearly outlines the mindset and goals of this stage of development and how it effects attitudes and responses. My role as a parent and their role as emerging adults change so dramatically during this age that I really appreciated the very practical ideas and specific ...more
Robin
Feb 26, 2014 Robin rated it it was amazing
This book found me at the library. When I say that, what I mean is that I work at the library and every so often a book will cross my path and speak to me and tell me to read it. This was one of those books.

My kids and I are going through a big change in our lives right now, and one of my priorities is to really connect with them and show them how important they are to me. After reading this book and having my kids all take the online assessment, I really feel like I have a better sense of how t
...more
Matt
Oct 31, 2013 Matt rated it liked it
Most people associate the "love languages" books with trying to make sense of a spouse's needs within the context of marriage, but the "teenagers" version is equally useful, if not as well known. Lots of great parenting material in here, but the most useful part is the love languages test, which a teenager can take to reveal what their needs are to themselves and to their parent/guardian. This is really valuable info for a parent who feels they don't know how to relate to their teenager... The b ...more
Zeenat
Sep 07, 2015 Zeenat rated it liked it
The first one was much better and this one seems like a poor rehashing of the first.
Lacey
Nov 12, 2015 Lacey rated it really liked it
This book was good for me to read as my oldest is now a teenager. This was a wake up call to me--you can't fill your teenager's love tank the same way you filled it when he was a child. They are going through new phases and need our patience and unconditional love. There were practical tips on how to reach our teenagers and keep them close, while letting them gain independence. I recommend it to all parents of teens!
Josette
Apr 14, 2014 Josette rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
I was concerned that this book would get a little repetitive if it was only about love languages (which is a brilliant and useful concept). However, it was an all around great book about parenting teens. The author talked about changing the way we parent teens, setting boundaries, dealing with anger, listening, maintaining a good relationship, etc. And of course, the love language concept is a very important component of loving your teen well. If you can only read one book about parenting your t ...more
Rikelle
Jul 27, 2012 Rikelle rated it it was amazing
Loved this book. If you have teens, you need this book. I read the first Love Languages and found it extremely helpful. This is basically the same but it goes into more detail of how to navigate the languages for the unique needs of your teen. For example, if your child's language is physical touch, how do you show that appropriately to your teenager. It helps you understand how best to show that love and then when to back off. I am planning on reading it again so the messages can really sink in ...more
Kim
Feb 25, 2011 Kim rated it it was amazing
This was a great book and I would suggest it to anyone who has a teenager or soon to be teenager. I learned so much about my teenager and about myself. I have already started implementing some of the suggestions in the book and have seen a dramatic difference in my teen and her response to me. She seems different and happier. Our home is more pleasant and she is even doing her homework without being asked! I just needed to fill her love tank and be more patient.
Matthew
May 27, 2014 Matthew rated it really liked it
I loved the original "Five Love Languages" and I'm always looking for ways to better connect to my teenager (soon to be multiple teenagers), so I thought this might be a great resource for me as a parent. And although this book wasn't revolutionary, it did spark more than a few ideas as well as encourage me to be intentional about showing them lots of love in their primary love language.
Elaine
Jun 09, 2014 Elaine rated it it was amazing
This was a great resource. I don't have teens yet, but it's coming around the corner. I haven't read the original Five Love Languages nor the one for Children, and I imagine it might repeat alot of the same information, but since I haven't read those (but I am already familiar the 5 Love Language concept), I felt I could give this 5 stars and not feel like 'Oh, but it's just a repeat of other books.' Anyway, I'm glad I read this BEFORE my kids were teens, because there's a lot of great advice! I ...more
Ashley
Apr 02, 2014 Ashley rated it really liked it
I read two of Chapman's other Love Language books but still enjoyed this one. I loved hearing about the love languages applied specifically to teenagers. Chapman makes some great points about how the love languages can change from childhood to the teenager and within the teenage years. Great insight and wonderful ideas to apply in our own families.
Yolanda
Feb 08, 2011 Yolanda rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
To each his own. This is a great book for parents with teenagers. I have two and this book was right on queue. Raising teens in this day and age is difficult, but if you can figure out their love language and fill their tank, you will succeed. Thank you Dr. Chapman!
I use this book as a reference guide on a continuing basis.
Vanessa
Mar 18, 2016 Vanessa rated it really liked it
This was an enjoyable read. I actually liked it better than the original. I look forward to referring back to some of the ideas as my children grow.
Karen
Dec 30, 2008 Karen rated it it was amazing
Very good book for every parent of a teenager to help you understand how to make your child feel loved. These concepts are helpful in every relationship. It also helped me better understand some of the changes going on inside my sons as they grow up.
Pam Cain
Jan 11, 2016 Pam Cain rated it did not like it
UGGGGHHHHHH....I've heard of the 5 love languages and I thought I've got a teenager, why not give it a try? A painful read...then I see it's the 4th edition. This guy has had one idea and has milked it for 20 or more years. I'm a Christian and I still found his leanings toward the Christian way, heavy handed. Not only has he milked the concept for every age group (upon further study) he also says the same thing about in five different chapters. What I learned. Not much but I did spend some time ...more
Yvonne
Aug 24, 2010 Yvonne rated it really liked it
I learned to stay awake for time with my teenage son, who doesn't like to talk until about 1:00 am in the morning...
Sooho Lee
**true rating 3.5

The first '5 Love Languages' book I've read: very practical but a bit redundant. Chapman speaks from his own experience and other parents he has counseled--he knows his stuff. However, Chapman strongly appeals to one specific sect of families: suburban, Christian, middle-class, white families. This is understandable. Chapman is not a minority, therefore he has no expertise to speak into the complicated minority parent-teenager struggle. I've personally read this to understand ho
...more
S.A.
Jan 12, 2009 S.A. rated it it was amazing
A must-read for parents of teenagers... gotta do things different to reach, build, and be happier...
Melanie
Oct 15, 2009 Melanie rated it it was amazing
Great resource and reminder to show more love to my teenagers and in a way that they will appreciate most.
Sarah Grass
Apr 24, 2015 Sarah Grass rated it it was amazing
Unconditional Love. The greatest parenting advice of all.
Lyuba
May 07, 2016 Lyuba rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I do not usually read any kinds of self-help or parenting books. However, I do have a twelve-year old and in the past few months I was thinking that I should probably educate myself a bit more on the upcoming teen years. Thus my purpose for reading this book was to prepare and educate myself so I can be a better parent as my daughter starts navigating the troublesome teenage years.

If you are like me (i.e., have a pre
...more
ACS Book-finder
Mar 13, 2013 ACS Book-finder rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents, teachers
Recommended to ACS by: School Administrator
Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: the Secret to Loving Teens Effectively discusses how parents can help their teenagers make a smooth transition from childhood to adulthood by speaking the correct love language to their teens. Chapman explains that teenagers need to feel connected, accepted, and nurtured. Knowing a teenager’s love language helps to keep his “love tank” filled.

The five love languages are the same as Chapman’s previous books on love languages, but this time he focu
...more
The Baking Bookworm
Note: This review, as well as many more, can also be found on my blog, The Baking Bookworm (www.thebakingbookworm.blogspot.ca).

My Review: As you can see from my reading history on GoodReads or on my blog I'm not a big non-fiction reader so it should come as no shock that I didn't happen upon this book by myself. I learned of it from a friend of mine who had read another book in the series and she had quite positive reviews of it. I had never heard of or read any of Chapman's previous "Love Langu
...more
Emma Lavern
Jun 17, 2013 Emma Lavern rated it it was amazing
Reader's response, not a summary:

It would be wise for every parent to read this book if they have children, whether they be teenagers or adults. Through God's grace I have been set free from my own struggles facing abandonment, rejection, not feeling good enough, not feeling accepted or wanted, etc., through Pastor Paul Coneff's Straight 2 the Heart Ministry. This book clarified everything I did or didn't agree with, everything I saw and understood, my struggle for self-identity, fight for indep
...more
Christine Lussier
I received a copy of The Five Love Languages of Teenagers from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Very easy to read & engaging from the beginning. As a parent, I was happy to read that we are doing things "right" with our children. As someone who teaches an 8-week parenting course, I found many examples to share with the parents of older children. This book will become a reference point for that class, as well as be told to many parents as a "you should read this".
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Gary Chapman has traveled extensively around the world challenging couples to pursue healthy, growing marriages. His first book, Toward a Growing Marriage (Moody, 1979, 1996), began as an informal resource he gave to couples with whom he was counseling. Once officially published, this book became a blessing to thousands of people and helped launch Gary’s popular “Toward a Growing Marriage” seminar ...more
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“Some parents find the idea of asking permission to share their perspective ridiculous, or even offensive. “Why should I have to ask my teen permission to speak?” one father asked. The question is not whether the parents have the right to speak to the teenager, they do. The question is: “Do you want your teenager to listen to what you are saying?” Asking permission recognizes that she is an individual, and she has the choice of hearing what is in your heart and mind—or not hearing it. You are recognizing your teen as an individual. You are creating the climate for sympathetic dialogue. Parents” 0 likes
“All research indicates that the most significant influence on the life of a teenager comes from his or her parents.” 0 likes
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