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New Birth Order Book/Why Your Are the Way You Are

3.75  ·  Rating Details  ·  4,101 Ratings  ·  542 Reviews
Good binding with dust cover
Hardcover, 365 pages
Published January 1st 1998 by F H Revell (first published January 1st 1984)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Chris Giovagnoni
If the concept of birth order affecting your personality and behavior is new to you, you'll probably find this book valuable and worthwhile. Having some basic knowledge of the subject I didn't find the book to be particularly enlightening. The three things I took away from the book are: Dr. Leman is a last born and he's proud of it, Dr. Leman can usually guess your birth order within a few minutes of meeting you and Dr. Leman feels sorry for first borns and only children who usually struggle wit ...more
Mary Mascari
I got this book on a recommendation from a friend and I'm sorry to say I was quite disappointed in it (Sorry, Kelly!). Leman's findings are vague stereotypes, backed up by anecdotal evidence mostly from his own family.

He didn't have much more insight beyond the ideas that first borns are either stern perfectionists or overly eager to please, middle children are negotiators, and the baby of the family is a charming iconoclast. He did say that the birth order can start over with large gaps betwee
Dec 21, 2009 Tori rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
well. There is so much i have to say about this book, and not enough time to type it! You can believe this book or not-the choice is yours- but either way it is a QUITE entertaining read. It basically tells you,no, actually it states quite clearly that you are like __________ because you are a (insert birth order here)

For instance I learned some supposedly need to know things abou myself, givin I am a first born:
1. I am very demending, perfectionist(well maybe i am a bit of a perfectionist!:)),c
May 15, 2009 J.C. rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone trying to understand siblings and inter-relationships
As I started reading this book, I thought the concept was so interesting! That is, your personality is somewhat predetermined by whether you are an only child, first-born, middle-born, or the baby. Some of it makes sense, but then he starts explaining all these "exceptions" and you start to realize he's just fooling himself to think that all first-borns are perfectionists and babies are just social butterflies. There are just too many exceptions to really believe in any of this.
Sep 25, 2009 Robin rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all
Recommended to Robin by: Julie
This was the most enjoyable, most SPOT ON psycology book I've read so far. Leman does a terrific job of writing so that the concepts he presents are comprehensive, yet intellegent; without the pretention that so irritates me about many psychologists.

I was amazed at how much I could fit myself, my siblings, my parents, my husband and his family and my kids into his explainations of how birth order effect our personalities. And I love that he is not so absolute about his definitions either. They r
Any Length
Apr 28, 2015 Any Length rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: discarded
I give this book one star for managing to fool a number of people into believing the authors ridiculous ideas.
Here is what Leman did. I shall create three basic character types. I shall call one the first born, one the middle/second born, and one the baby (or last born). Then I claim to know which one you fit in. Say I call you a first born. Then when I find that you are not a first born I shall redefine my theory, by making you a first born by proxy because you either switched identities with y
Stacy Beck
I liked it and learned some things along the way. Here are somethings I liked:
* Firstborns tend to be conscientious, well organized, serious, goal oriented, achieving, people pleasers and believers in authority.
* One of the best predictions in life is that whatever the firstborn in a family is, the secondborn in the family will go in a different (and oftentimes opposite)direction.
* The bottom line is that parents expect too much of firstborns.
* A child's personality is pretty well formed by age
Margaret McCamant
I picked this up on a remainder table a long time ago, just started reading it. Although it may be too much book for the material, the many funny stories about families and their quirks makes the reading go fast as we recognize ourselves and others all too easily. We all seem to fit our birth order profiles quite well: I'm a pretty classic firstborn, with that overdeveloped sense of responsibility. I'm probably more the compliant than the aggressive firstborn, with plenty of perfectionism and no ...more
Grace Snow
Sep 06, 2010 Grace Snow rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
My mother-in-law forced me to read this because she claimed that it would answer all my questions about my second-born. (She herself is a second-born.) Instead, it was basically stupid and confusing. There were more exceptions than rules to his theory. Basically, almost anyone can be considered a firstborn. You just have to have more than 2 or 3 years between you and your next older sibling. Or be a different gender than your older siblings. Or.... It was extremely unhelpful, and (apparently) in ...more
Angie Libert
I read this book years ago and really enjoyed it. I came back to it because I was hoping to gain greater insight into my children and how to parent them within their birth order but the book was not that helpful. Really nothing on middle born children. Most of the last born child info was all about the author's experience. In fact, a good portion of the book was just about the author's personal experience of birth order. I guess I was hoping for something less anecdotal and more philosophical. I ...more
Jan 01, 2016 Emily rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
There was a lot I liked about this book. I would actually recommend it to parents because I think it's really important for us to be aware of the patterns that our kids fall into because of their birth order, and how we can help them avoid developing many major weaknesses of their birth order.

That said, I think the author gives a little too much weight to birth order. He does admit that birth order is only one aspect of personality, but he also acts as though knowing someone's birth order tells
Apr 30, 2014 Lauren rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The Birth Order Book describes common roles and characteristics of each child in a family. It explains that your personality can easily be predicted simply because of the order that you fall within the other kids in your family. According to specific studies, first borns seem to be very responsible and more well rounded compared to second, third, or maybe even fourth born children. The baby of the family or the last born seems to always be fighting for attention from people. Most news anchors or ...more
May 10, 2010 Stephanie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2010
Very interesting. This book surprised me. Lots of good information and I was not expecting to much.
Jan 15, 2014 Leslie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A hilarious and insightful read! I learned a lot about myself, my husband, parents, and siblings while reading this book. Though my family is a weird make up his chapters on each birth order described each of my siblings to a T (Clark and I are first born personalities, Becca is and only child, and Thayne is a Middle). Also his chapters on perfectionism were incredible! I learned a lot about myself, having never thought of myself as a perfectionist I realized that according to his definition I a ...more
Jul 19, 2009 Shannon rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Shannon by: Melissa Culbreth Benson
Shelves: nonfiction
I started to give this book three stars and then thought, "Well, it's a non-fiction book that I actually read. That probably merits four stars in and of itself." While I read quite a bit, I don't read non-fiction. If a book isn't going to transport me somewhere else, I'm generally not excited about reading it. Life is real enough for me without reading about it, too.

What I enjoyed about this book was that it helped me understand myself better, which I hope will ultimately make me a better person
Nov 05, 2014 Cory rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
For full disclosure, I made it through only about a third of this book. While the author has some valuable insights as to how birth order affects personalities, it takes far too long to say far too little, and weakens his case unnecessarily. For example, he makes statements describing how the great majority of presidents, astronauts, clergy, and other leaders are firstborn, but then defines "firstborns" as those actually first-born, PLUS those who are the first of their own sex born to a family, ...more
This was an entertaining book, and definitely held some truths within it. I wouldn't call it "life changing" by any means, but it offers some insights into how a person's position within his or her family can shape his or her personality. Most of Leman's claims come from personal experience as a father and counselor, not through any kind of scientific study (as can be easily inferred from the only 6 pages of endnotes for a 350 page book!) so while most of what he says makes sense, you won't be s ...more
Paula Dembeck
This Adlerian psychologist, author and speaker has updated his first book with some interesting additions.

His thesis is that birth order plays an important part in making people who they are and that by understanding birth order they can gain important clues about their personality, spouse, children, the kind of job they have and how they get along with their maker (if they believe they have one!). He agrees that birth order “theory” is not based on hard science and is all rather subjective but
Mar 09, 2015 Rebecca rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
While originally read this book as research for a speech in English I have to write, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. This is because of how much I learned; it was exceptionally informative about a topic I am interested in, how birth order effects personality.
"The Birth Order Book" is written by lastborn Dr. Kevin ("Cub") Leman. After years of being a deadbeat youngest child, he finally got his act together and proved his older siblings wrong. Part of which includes this book. One of many he's written since completing his education.

This book is great for understanding the people around you. Leman discusses recognizing people's birth orders for business, parenting, marriage/relationship success, and self-explorative means. If you're curious why you or
Apr 08, 2011 Jackie added it
Recommended to Jackie by: Book group
This is a book I don’t think I would have ever picked up to read had it not been for my book group. I took a small bundle of notes and took the quiz inside that has to do with how much of a perfectionist a person is. Though I was quite skeptical reading through it, I feel it does contain a lot of general concepts about birth order that are relatively true and I'm glad I read it.
Oct 21, 2013 Lnzv rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was so fascinated to realize more about what factors around my birth order helped shape who I am today . The sentiment actually helps me when raising my own three children . It also has helped me understand how and where my relationship with my husband is effected by our birth orders . There are certain chapters and pages that didn't pertain to my situation....
Jan 27, 2014 Diana rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Heaven knows I love a book with yet another explanation for why we are all so different. I've always considered myself a middle child, since I am the third of four children. However, the 11 gap between me and my next oldest sibling means that I spent most of my childhood as an oldest child. And reading this book I can definitely relate as an oldest child more than I relate as a middle and certainly am in no way a youngest child. I didn't carry the parental expectation my older sister did as the ...more
Jun 01, 2011 Sabra rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book cracked me up at times. It was really helpful for seeing how my children are so different and knowing more about each of their different personalities based on birth order. I actually asked a salesman that came to my door (who was very good!) if he was the baby of the family. That's how into it I am!
May 01, 2014 Denise rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: e-audio-book
Absolutely loved this book and highly recommend it for everyone! If you were born, you're in it! I learned so much about myself and it was comforting to discover that things I've struggled with were part of being firstborn-nothing to do with my parents or me. Now that I understand this I can stop berating myself for not overcoming it. I can accept that it's natural for me to be that way and now I can chose to let it go. Also, I loved learning more about each of my children and my spouse and othe ...more
Apr 09, 2008 Joanne rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
This book describes people's personality/behavior based on birth order. It gives pretty good insight.

I read it to help me understand my middle child better since I couldn't relate to her.

Overall I liked the book and would reccommend it to understand both yourself and your children better.
Jonathan Karmel
I thought this was a good book that provides a partial explanation for why some people have certain personality traits. If you found a statistically average American, middle class nuclear family with 3 children, I have no doubt that the kids would display the personality traits of a first child, a middle child and a youngest child.

My understanding is that this author is some kind of conservative, Christian family therapist. One thing about the book that seemed odd from my perspective was the abs
Apr 07, 2014 Katie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book gave me what I was looking for - understanding general personality traits coming out of family dynamics to aid in my child observations - however it started feeling a bit preachy toward the end of the book. If a person has not looked at who they are and why, this book might be a good place to start, but by the end of the book I was a little annoyed how pigeon holed Leman made people to prove his theory. Hid theory was a little rigid by the end of the book and I wondered how he works in ...more
I personally would not recommend this book to somebody who is a middle or last born child, since I felt that the majority of the book focused on the first born or only child. The author did state, at least for the middle born child, that there is just not enough information known. Since I am a first born who loves lists and statistics, I found it interesting that a large number of the presidents were firstborns, including Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, who are incidentally also on the list of th ...more
Aug 08, 2016 Tracie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
This book was just okay. I enjoyed the early chapters that laid out the theories of birth order, but wanted less self-help in the later chapters. The author became a little preachy as well as a bit sexist as the book went on.
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Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally recognized psychologist, author, and media personality. He was the first to popularize Adlerian psychological concepts in the United States, which are based on birth-order and family dynamics. Dr. Leman holds Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctorate degrees in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona.

Dr. Leman is the founder and president of "Couples of P
More about Kevin Leman...

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