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The Mom Factor

3.94  ·  Rating Details  ·  345 Ratings  ·  30 Reviews
No one has influenced the person you are today like your mother. The way she handled your needs as a child has shaped your worldview, your relationships, your marriage, your career, your self-image -- your life. The Mom Factor can help you identify areas that need reshaping, to make positive choices for personal change, and to establish a nature relationship with Mom today ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published September 28th 1998 by Zondervan (first published 1996)
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Wordy Cover Arts
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66th out of 68 books — 71 voters

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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 842)
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Aug 17, 2008 Marlene rated it it was amazing
I learned many things about myself and my style of parenting. I also saw my mother and the effect of her parenting style on me and therefore the effect my parenting style has had on my four children. I am also hoping this book will be helpful in relating in a better way to my children. As I said with the first book listed I was a broken child raising children. I did not know how to heal the broken places but was too afraid to ask for help from authority figures because of my fear of authority. A ...more
Jul 04, 2012 Barbara rated it it was amazing
This book did me more good than thousands of dollars worth of therapy.
Shawna Ridgley
May 09, 2014 Shawna Ridgley rated it liked it
Shelves: read-in-2014
Ugh... this book has important information. But I didn't like reading it! As a mom I am hyperaware of how my actions will have long-range effects on my children. As if I didn't have enough to worry about--I read this book and now I keep looking at different behaviors my kids display and think--is that because of me? Is that because I didn't ____________?

This book stereotypes different mothering styles and breaks each of those styles down and gives you insights on how that mothering style can ef
Kit Fry
Nov 05, 2012 Kit Fry rated it liked it
Shelves: family-finance
I really liked boundaries. This one is not nearly as we'll written. He tries to apply anecdotes to situations that aren't so clearly applicable, and he doesn't work to discuss or justify the connection. It felt rushed and slapped together.

However, it is still a useful book for learning how to adjust your perspective on your relationship with your parents. Even though it is a mom book, I think it is just as applicable to some dad issues as well.

Also a lot of the biblical justification was unnece
May 06, 2010 Meg rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
I learned so much about why I am the way I am from this book. If you are even kind of thinking about reading this book please do; you will not regret it.
Diane Dacko
Oct 01, 2013 Diane Dacko rated it really liked it
I believe this book helped me understand MY impact on my children based in the influence of parenting I had while growing up. It definitely gave me more insight to my relationship with my mother and certain qualities I can now understand better. I think this book had a lot of great personal stories to build off of, although I felt that the good doctor came across a bit all knowing some times. As another reviewer has said, the fathers role has probably been a piece that was absent in this book. B ...more
Jul 25, 2008 Rebecca rated it it was amazing
It informs one about the different types of mothers and what is good and bad in them and how that affects one's ability in positve and negative ways of relating to others and how one sees or doesn't, themselves. One can be affected by their own Mom or by a Mother-n-Law, or a friends Mom. This book helped me understand where my own Mom was coming from in her child-raising techniques and also my Mother-n-laws techniques with her son, and the book helped me to face some techniques in my raising of ...more
Mar 20, 2012 Rebecca rated it really liked it
Shelves: brain-power
Note: This book was written by both Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

I loved this book! Plus, my boys have both read it, too.

Here's a synopsis: No One has influenced the person you are today more than your mother.

The way she handled your needs as a child has shaped your worldview, your relationships, your marriage, your career, your self-image, and your life. You'll find a hopeful, realistic, and empowering approach to identifying your unmet mothering needs and filling them in healthy, lif
Oct 08, 2015 Marsha rated it really liked it
Insightful book about how parenting styles affect our development and impact our own parenting styles as well. My only regret is I wish I had read it before my child is already over half-grown
Jennifer B
Mar 12, 2014 Jennifer B rated it really liked it
A sobering look at the relationship I have with my mother....great insight on how to invest in this relationship in ways that are healthy for both of us!
Audrey Jenkins
Feb 27, 2016 Audrey Jenkins rated it it was amazing
Provided much understanding on my thought processes, motivation and identity and the characteristics of others.
Jul 18, 2014 Sarah rated it it was amazing
Definitely a worthwhile read for those looking to improve their relationship with their mom. I learned a lot!
Sep 04, 2014 Chris rated it did not like it
Did this in a group & just wasn't what we were hoping it to be.
Apr 28, 2015 Addie rated it it was amazing
Super helpful book! Put words to some current struggles and explained issues in a cohesive and kind way.
Angie Butcher
Oct 09, 2012 Angie Butcher rated it liked it
This was an okay book. It had some good insights on our relationships with our Moms and how it affects us. But, overall it seemed incomplete. It bothered me that he seemed to be saying that many of our personality/character issues can be traced back to our mothers. Although he did reference Fathers a few times, it still felt one sided. I don't know that Moms are that much involved in the character building. But, I did get some good insights and it duplicated a lot of things I learned in counseli ...more
Nov 04, 2007 Doris rated it it was amazing
I read this book while I was pregnant with Sean and it really opened my eyes to my mom. After reading this book, it gave me more compassion and love for my mom, and my relationship changed with her for the better from here. I saw her through eyes of compassion that I did not have before, and gained a new respect for her.

I held my mom to a high standard that no one could meet. I learned to love my mom where she was.
I bought this not realizing that it is an abridged recording, something I would not have purchased under normal circumstances. As I have started listening, I am compelled to go & buy the unabridged book, as I think it will prove to be enlightening. The Christian basis is one of the things that drew me to it, and I'm finding that it provides an excellent foundation on which to build.
Lisa Beth
Jul 05, 2012 Lisa Beth rated it liked it
I didn't really see much of my mom in this. My mom was far more balanced than any of these examples. The only thing my mom did to injure us was to pass away of breast cancer before we were ready. However, I found this to be an interesting read none the less.
J Campbell
Oct 12, 2012 J Campbell rated it really liked it
What a great book, met the author at Saddleback Church, and read the book on the way home on the airplane, I couldn't put it down. Really helps to see the dynamics of my own Mom and my relationship and how I can be a good Mom to the 2 children I have.
Wannie Michelmann
Jul 15, 2013 Wannie Michelmann rated it liked it
Loads of troubles and problems with all the mother profiles in the book. I can identify with so many after observing my own upbringing. The book covers healing at the end of each mother profile and it had worked magic for me.
Renee Reynolds
Jan 04, 2009 Renee Reynolds rated it really liked it
This book contains insightful, helpful information for understanding our mothers and how her mothering contributes to our character, personality, values, and yes, our parenting.
Jul 07, 2013 Katie rated it it was amazing
Best to work through this book in a group, with a leader/leaders who have been through the book successfully.
Nov 05, 2008 Dave added it
Not as good as I thought it would be though helped illustrate and explain some things I've seen in myself
Mary Ann
I took Henry Cloud's class at IBS but I was pregnant and sick so I don't remember a whole lot:(
Good. Not great but good enough to read along with going to counseling.
Mar 28, 2010 Traci rated it it was amazing
Must read for everyone who is a mom, has a mom or wants to be a mom...
Jan V
Jul 25, 2012 Jan V added it
borrowed from a friend. great read. maybe I will read this one again.
Jul 28, 2008 Maria rated it it was amazing
I just love these authors. I love the scripture back up.
Winkipinki Fan
Jun 29, 2007 Winkipinki Fan rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: every parent
will post when i'm done reading it.
Jan 08, 2008 Catherine rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book. Eye-opening.
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public semina
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“we need people to whom we can talk and who will understand without invalidating our feelings by saying the following: You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s not that bad. You’re overreacting. Don’t be so sensitive. Where’s your faith? Instead, they say, I understand. That really sounds sad. What a terrible feeling! Oh, I’m sorry you went through that.” 4 likes
“When we fail to express our needs, we remain islands unto ourselves—detached, alone, arrogant, and proud. But when we expose our needs, we are able to receive the supplies and nurture necessary for survival.” 2 likes
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