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28th out of 45 books
—
3 voters
The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are
by
Kevin Leman
Dr. Leman's ever popular book on birth order is ready for a new generation of readers. With insight and wit, Dr. Leman offers readers a fascinating and often funny look at how birth order affects personality, marriage and relationships, parenting style, career, and children. Whether at home or on the job, birth order powerfully influences the way people interact with other...more
Paperback, 362 pages
Published
September 1st 2004
by Fleming H. Revell Company
(first published January 1st 1984)
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I picked this up on a remainder table a long time ago, just started reading it. Although it may be too much book for the material, the many funny stories about families and their quirks makes the reading go fast as we recognize ourselves and others all too easily. We all seem to fit our birth order profiles quite well: I'm a pretty classic firstborn, with that overdeveloped sense of responsibility. I'm probably more the compliant than the aggressive firstborn, with plenty of perfectionism and no...more
I got this book on a recommendation from a friend and I'm sorry to say I was quite disappointed in it (Sorry, Kelly!). Leman's findings are vague stereotypes, backed up by anecdotal evidence mostly from his own family.
He didn't have much more insight beyond the ideas that first borns are either stern perfectionists or overly eager to please, middle children are negotiators, and the baby of the family is a charming iconoclast. He did say that the birth order can start over with large gaps betwee...more
He didn't have much more insight beyond the ideas that first borns are either stern perfectionists or overly eager to please, middle children are negotiators, and the baby of the family is a charming iconoclast. He did say that the birth order can start over with large gaps betwee...more
A hilarious and insightful read! I learned a lot about myself, my husband, parents, and siblings while reading this book. Though my family is a weird make up his chapters on each birth order described each of my siblings to a T (Clark and I are first born personalities, Becca is and only child, and Thayne is a Middle). Also his chapters on perfectionism were incredible! I learned a lot about myself, having never thought of myself as a perfectionist I realized that according to his definition I a...more
The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman (pp. 368)
Kevin Leman, a popular family psychologist and prolific writer, provides a very readable overview of how birth order influences who you are. Leman writes in a conversational style interspersing anecdotal examples and easily to understand breakdowns of each order archetype.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked up the book. As with many popular psychology books, you can lean either heavily into the dry, data heavy presentation or deep into self-he...more
Kevin Leman, a popular family psychologist and prolific writer, provides a very readable overview of how birth order influences who you are. Leman writes in a conversational style interspersing anecdotal examples and easily to understand breakdowns of each order archetype.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked up the book. As with many popular psychology books, you can lean either heavily into the dry, data heavy presentation or deep into self-he...more
Jul 19, 2009
Shannon
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Shannon by:
Melissa Culbreth Benson
Shelves:
nonfiction
I started to give this book three stars and then thought, "Well, it's a non-fiction book that I actually read. That probably merits four stars in and of itself." While I read quite a bit, I don't read non-fiction. If a book isn't going to transport me somewhere else, I'm generally not excited about reading it. Life is real enough for me without reading about it, too.
What I enjoyed about this book was that it helped me understand myself better, which I hope will ultimately make me a better person...more
What I enjoyed about this book was that it helped me understand myself better, which I hope will ultimately make me a better person...more
1 like · like · see review
This is one of those books that you pick up and read quickly - I skimmed here and there as I went. I found the information interesting, but took much of it with a grain of salt because many of his main points were explained away when exceptions came up. The tone of the book is very entertaining and I appreciate his use of personal experiences, but the personal experiences seemed to take up the bulk of the book.
According to his prescription of an oldest child I fit the mold to the T and found a c...more
According to his prescription of an oldest child I fit the mold to the T and found a c...more
well. There is so much i have to say about this book, and not enough time to type it! You can believe this book or not-the choice is yours- but either way it is a QUITE entertaining read. It basically tells you,no, actually it states quite clearly that you are like __________ because you are a (insert birth order here)
For instance I learned some supposedly need to know things abou myself, givin I am a first born:
1. I am very demending, perfectionist(well maybe i am a bit of a perfectionist!:)),c...more
For instance I learned some supposedly need to know things abou myself, givin I am a first born:
1. I am very demending, perfectionist(well maybe i am a bit of a perfectionist!:)),c...more
3 likes · like · see review
While Leman's book isn't about scientific research, but anecdotal stories about his experiences as a counselor and with his own family, I confess that I enjoyed reading this book and found myself mentioning it to friends and co-workers quite a bit over this past week! I felt like Leman had been inside my head, and possibly inside my house, as some of what he described is exactly what goes on in my life. It really helped me understand why my first-born son doesn't really seem like the stereotypic...more
This was an entertaining book, and definitely held some truths within it. I wouldn't call it "life changing" by any means, but it offers some insights into how a person's position within his or her family can shape his or her personality. Most of Leman's claims come from personal experience as a father and counselor, not through any kind of scientific study (as can be easily inferred from the only 6 pages of endnotes for a 350 page book!) so while most of what he says makes sense, you won't be s...more
I was unfamiliar with this author - but completely hooked by the title! I was fascinated to find out more about the motivating factors of both myself and my kiddos. And I liked this author, he is funny, poignant, and rarely comes off sounding preachy. I also liked how the author analyzed each birth order, and gave great descriptions and explanations. (For instance, I now understand why the Middle Children are such great mediators and generally mellow.)
However, I personally didn't find it as app...more
However, I personally didn't find it as app...more
A fascinating look at how birth order affects your personality, marriage, relationships, parenting style, career and children. Dr Leman's writing style and humor makes this book both an insightful and fun read. There are usually characteristics and personality triats associated with each birth order - first-born, middlechild, lastborn and only child. However, not all characteristics fit every person in that birth order, especially since variables such as birth order of each parent, the number of...more
What stuck with me from this book: 1) Firstborns across the board tend to be over-parented, which can turn them into perfectionists and/or procrastinators (the two are linked). Lighten up, parents! Firstborns need to feel free to be kids, need to feel allowed to try and also fail. Another interesting point he makes is that gender factors in in birth order. The oldest boy and the oldest girl can both show "firstborn" characteristics. Similarly, if you have a string of kids one gender and then a c...more
This book describes people's personality/behavior based on birth order. It gives pretty good insight.
I read it to help me understand my middle child better since I couldn't relate to her.
Overall I liked the book and would reccommend it to understand both yourself and your children better.
I read it to help me understand my middle child better since I couldn't relate to her.
Overall I liked the book and would reccommend it to understand both yourself and your children better.
Lately I have become obsessed with topic of family dynamics. To be honest with you, I’m not even sure why. Several months back I was rummaging through my local Goodwill, when I came across a book that sparked my interest. “The New Birth Order Book – Why You Are The Way You Are” by Dr. Kevin Leman is a very interesting read that kept me informed from cover to cover. When you mention birth order, people tend to think it only references whether you are first born, middle child, or the baby of the f...more
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and found it to be quite enlightening for my overachieving, over responsible perfectionistic first-born self. I have never studied or even considered birth order before but it really does make sense. There are many family requirements, responsibilities and privileges given to us based on our order in the family. My brother is a classic youngest sibling. He is the life of the party, while I maintained order. It would be interesting to see how these characteristics i...more
This was really helpful. It definitely fit many of my observations and experiences, and helped make better sense of them. I especially liked the section on Marriage between various birth-order combinations. I'd recommend this book to anyone who was part of a family, has a family, is or wants to be married to someone raised in a family, or anyone who wants to understand themselves and others better.
So... not sure who that excludes. Orphans, perhaps... it didn't go too much into orphans raised in...more
So... not sure who that excludes. Orphans, perhaps... it didn't go too much into orphans raised in...more
Excellent reading if you're still in the dark about how birth order affects everything you do. I enjoyed having the light switch flip on a few times as I discovered more about why I do the things I do, especially at work. The last 150 pages begin to focus on family and the effect birth order has marriage and raising children which is why I didn't give this more stars. First half is definitely in the 3-4 range.
If you're not Christian - or semi-religious - the references to God can stutter the flo...more
If you're not Christian - or semi-religious - the references to God can stutter the flo...more
Stereotypes, anecdotes, and a plethora of exceptions. Frustrating and suspicious, and he spends way too much time telling you how effective this book has been. BUT I'M PROBABLY JUST BEING A CRITICAL FIRST-BORN.
Some of the stuff about overcoming perfectionism is good, so I would recommend skipping the stuff about how to figure out which birth order you might qualify as, skipping all his family anecdotes, and just reading the tips for how to relate to different people.
There was one example of doi...more
Some of the stuff about overcoming perfectionism is good, so I would recommend skipping the stuff about how to figure out which birth order you might qualify as, skipping all his family anecdotes, and just reading the tips for how to relate to different people.
There was one example of doi...more
I liked it and learned some things along the way. Here are somethings I liked:
* Firstborns tend to be conscientious, well organized, serious, goal oriented, achieving, people pleasers and believers in authority.
* One of the best predictions in life is that whatever the firstborn in a family is, the secondborn in the family will go in a different (and oftentimes opposite)direction.
* The bottom line is that parents expect too much of firstborns.
* A child's personality is pretty well formed by age...more
* Firstborns tend to be conscientious, well organized, serious, goal oriented, achieving, people pleasers and believers in authority.
* One of the best predictions in life is that whatever the firstborn in a family is, the secondborn in the family will go in a different (and oftentimes opposite)direction.
* The bottom line is that parents expect too much of firstborns.
* A child's personality is pretty well formed by age...more
1 like · like · see review
This is pretty interesting, but I don't feel like finishing it, and sort of wished I'd saved my money and read internet articles instead. Faster and cheaper. One thing he said about women really put me off:
Talking about a wom...more
First born girls who grow up under a very perfectionistic, critical father are often hard on themselves and put themselves in situations that aren't healthy. When these first-born daughters grow up and marry, their husband pays the price for the sins of their wife's father.
Talking about a wom...more
The fun thing was that I read it on the plane as I went to spend some time with my parents and all my siblings in North Dakota so I was disappointed when I didn't find many of Leman's assertions to correlate with them nor my children. Leman has so many exceptions to his basic premises that he just explains them away. I am the youngest in my family and identified much better with his assessment of oldest and middle children and hardly at all with that of youngest. I don't think that any of the ex...more
A fun read if you take it for a grain of salt. First borns (me) are often perfectionists which can make them aggressive and/or drive them to please everyone. Middle kids go the opposite way. Tend to move away from home, etc. Youngests are the clowns. Bad with money.
So certainly there are traits that are going to apply to all of us in some way. But if they don't apply, the author supplies a long list of exceptions-- like how many boys or girls are in a family and what the spacing is and the perso...more
So certainly there are traits that are going to apply to all of us in some way. But if they don't apply, the author supplies a long list of exceptions-- like how many boys or girls are in a family and what the spacing is and the perso...more
My mother-in-law forced me to read this because she claimed that it would answer all my questions about my second-born. (She herself is a second-born.) Instead, it was basically stupid and confusing. There were more exceptions than rules to his theory. Basically, almost anyone can be considered a firstborn. You just have to have more than 2 or 3 years between you and your next older sibling. Or be a different gender than your older siblings. Or.... It was extremely unhelpful, and (apparently) in...more
There were some interesting ideas in this book with respect to how birth order influences how different children are treated and how this may affect their personalities. I do feel that there are so many exceptions to the rules and people (parents and children) are just so different that we shouldn't over analyze birth order affects and try to see something where there isn't anything to see. The general idea as it applies to parenting is something I find useful though. If you are aware that paren...more
If the concept of birth order affecting your personality and behavior is new to you, you'll probably find this book valuable and worthwhile. Having some basic knowledge of the subject I didn't find the book to be particularly enlightening. The three things I took away from the book are: Dr. Leman is a last born and he's proud of it, Dr. Leman can usually guess your birth order within a few minutes of meeting you and Dr. Leman feels sorry for first borns and only children who usually struggle wit...more
It's amazing how closely this book follows the character traits of my kids! It's definitely worth a look if you have kids. It helped me understand my own personality via my birth order and also how to deal with my kids a little better. Because of that, it helped strengthen our family and relationships. Also, I realized how we identify better with friends of the same birth order. "Birds of a feather do flock together!"
I also found it interesting that extenuating circumstances can truly tweak the...more
I also found it interesting that extenuating circumstances can truly tweak the...more
I don’t read help books. I don’t read books about psychology, except once and that was because I was taking a psychology class and it was the text book. In fact I’m not completely convinced that psychology is even a science. It’s more of an artistic expression of mental prestidigitation.
That’s not to say that I think they’re always wrong. Much of what psychologists say is based on observations of human behaviors and statistical studies subscribing a norm to the observed behaviors of the majority...more
That’s not to say that I think they’re always wrong. Much of what psychologists say is based on observations of human behaviors and statistical studies subscribing a norm to the observed behaviors of the majority...more
I rarely abandon books, but I started losing interest and skimming in the second chapter and decided not to continue with the third.
I thought this book would give me good insight into correlations between birth order and personality and give me a useful framework with which to think about people, but I feel like I got a lot of generalizations, isolated examples, personal anecdotes, and arbitrary explanations instead.
There are insights to be had if one wants them, but I stopped reading because...more
I thought this book would give me good insight into correlations between birth order and personality and give me a useful framework with which to think about people, but I feel like I got a lot of generalizations, isolated examples, personal anecdotes, and arbitrary explanations instead.
There are insights to be had if one wants them, but I stopped reading because...more
Mar 11, 2011
Jessica
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Sally, well, pretty much anyone who can keep an open mind and not be cynical!
Recommended to Jessica by:
Vikki
Shelves:
non-fiction,
books_i_re-read
Now I am reviewing the NEW Birth Order edition, and it is what I would absolutely recommend. This book is fascinating to me. But to start let me just say that if you are cynical about his methods or theories, then you will finish the book still being a cynic. But if you are open to seeing how birth order can affect your personality - even if it varies some and there are exceptions to the rule as there always are - then you will LOVE this book as I did. I've grown up as an only child, married int...more
The Birth Order was interesting. It's a book one of my mothers friends owned and was raving about it and let me borrow to read. It had many facts and points that I never really thought about before. How the order in which you are born effects who you are. Wether it be a firstborn, middle child , or baby. Only child, step child and adopted. There are many of exceptions to the rules. Sometimes you may be of a certain birth order but do to circumstance you may be a firstborn and carry the character...more
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Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally recognized psychologist, author, and media personality. He was the first to popularize Adlerian psychological concepts in the United States, which are based on birth-order and family dynamics. Dr. Leman holds Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctorate degrees in clinical psychology from the University of Arizona.
Dr. Leman is the founder and president of "Couples of P...more
More about Kevin Leman...
Dr. Leman is the founder and president of "Couples of P...more
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Jul 19, 2009 08:12pm