He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

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3.62 of 5 stars 3.62  ·  rating details  ·  40,701 ratings  ·  2,741 reviews
He says: Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just "that crazy." All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the brig...more
Hardcover, 176 pages
Published September 7th 2004 by Simon Spotlight Entertainment
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Elizabeth Wallace
Eh, I wanted to hate this book. I dislike anything that the media (het hem, OPRAH) has picked up and run with and rammed down everybody's throats. I also hated the idea that, from what I heard, the author wants girls to be submissive, never make the first move, wait until the guy expresses interest, arrgh! Hated the idea, hate hate hate.

After I read it...I STILL hate it, but only because, in certain sections, the author's right. We all make excuses for why a guy we like doesn't sweep us off our...more
Micah
Dec 03, 2007 Micah rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: someone who needs consoling, but no one who needs relationship progression
I like reading texts that are feminist in nature. I expected (hoped for?) a book that served to empower women in their relationships, a book that addressed historical deficiencies in the way women are culturally taught to function in relationships or the way that a woman may prevent a man from stifling her natural motion in romance. As a true feminist or pop-feminist text I wanted to feel that a woman, after having sifted through the pages, would be better equipped to dismantle cultural blockade...more
Rose
Jul 30, 2008 Rose rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: every young woman...ever
If loving this book is shallow, then I don't want to be deep.

It's a really fucking simple concept, and it's entirely encompassed in the title. In fact, I love how the title totally sounds like it's uber harsh. In reality, telling you that "he's not really that into you" is about the nicest thing someone can do to you!

This isn't high literature by any stretch of the imagination (take the cue from the bright fucking pink cover), but the concept is so important to young women that if I ever have a...more
Danielle
Mar 10, 2008 Danielle rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: any single girl, or any girl in a crappy relationship
Recommended to Danielle by: Oprah
Every single girl should read this book, and live by it! Its a book that states the obvious to us girls, but we are too wrapped up to actually see the situation for what it is......it is, being that 'hes just not that into you', Ive bought this book for a few of my single girlfriends, or gf's in crappy relationships.
It just makes sense. If he doesnt call you, he's just not that into you, period. seems to make complete sense. but how many of us sit around waiting for him to call?? lol
If he's not...more
erry
"Seorang pria tidak benar-benar mencintai anda kalau dia tidak pernah berusaha untuk mendekati, menarik perhatian, menghubungi, menelpon, mengajak keluar dll yang menunjukan ketertarikannya kepada anda. Seorang pria tidak benar-benar mencintai anda kalau dia tidak mau menikahi anda atau dia berselingkuh".

Wanita sering mengalami kebimbangan untuk mengetahui perasaan pria terhadapnya. Kedekatan, kebersemaan, flirting, kata-kata basi, gombal, perhatian, etc. Tapi setelah beberapa waktu tidak juga a...more
owl


ah kamuh, gak seru, greg. masa cuma cowok yang boleh melakukan apa saja setelah menemukan cewek yang diangan-angin-ingin-kannya supaya si cewek bertekuklutut . kalau cowok melakukan itu, persimu artinya he's into you. isshh, masa cewek cuma dijadiin objek cowok aja. lucu amat jadinya kalo kayak gini: setelah kencan, tiba-tiba cowok itu menelponmu, dan mengajakmu bertemu lagi. setelah menutup telepon, kamu berteriak kegirangan, jingkrak-jingkrak sambil teriak "yeaaa...aku terpilih..aku terpilih.....more
V.
Jun 25, 2007 V. rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: people who date men.
Shelves: self-help
I think that no matter who you are, you're never too good for a low-brow self-help book. If you date men, you should read He's Just Not That Into You, because this book serves as a reminder to make sure you're being treated with the respect you deserve. After you read this book, you will save a lot of time you would have spent making excuses for some deadbeat.

The book's also written in a very humorous, breezy, and clear style. You can read it quickly but the advice will stick with you for many d...more
Melissa
Jul 13, 2007 Melissa rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: folks frustrated with dating
The title is off-putting. But the idea is simple: why waste one moment of your precious time on somebody who doesn't think you're the cat's pajamas? If s/he doesn't dig you like you deserve to be dug, drop him/her, stop wasting your time barking up a lame tree.

This book is empowering - it has become my post-breakup manual, and my copy has notes in the margins about each of the lovely gents who, alas, were just not that into me. (It's also been informative using the book like this because it help...more
Peter Derk
Last night I went to do laundry at my apartment and all three washers were filled with fluid. I'm not calling it "liquid." "Liquids" do not smell the way those washers smelled.

This is a long explanation of why I was at the laundromat at 11:30 PM on a Thursday skimming He's Just Not That Into You.

I guess it explains the locale more than the reading choice.

I ALSO have to give a presentation about books that might help a person's business. And because you can only read so much of that shit before...more
Anna
Feb 03, 2008 Anna rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: females
Recommended to Anna by: my friend Juliette
For better or worse, I LOVED this book and do consider it to be life altering for me (okay, to an extent...). I realize it's been trash talked times ten in the media since it first came out but I do think it's extremely underrated.

I read it as a first year grad student and remember all these light bulbs going off in my head as I eagerly scanned the pages for information. As I read the letters and stories in the book, so much of my life started making sense to me! I started to see what I was doi...more
Brianna Karp
There were some good points, I'll admit, although most of them were really big "common sense" ones - like, if he's a drunk and verbally abusive to you, or if he's cheating on you, he's not that into you and you need to leave him (well, um, duh.)

But the book takes all of the complexities of a relationship and distills them down to "if you don't get exactly what you want exactly when you want it, move on because he's not that into you". Men are dumbed-down, usually unfairly - "if he doesn't make t...more
Michelle
Where was this book when I was younger and dating?! This would have saved atleast a couple of tears over guys who did not deserve them. I might have acted a little less crazy as well. Just a little. But I must say there is a chapter I think they should have included, so I take it upon myself to add it here now. (sorry it is long)

He's just not that into you if he is gay

Because sweetie, he is gay.

Everyone wants to be loved and needed, especially by someone who is caring, who enjoys your company an...more
Eszter
from this book, i learned that apparently, all 5473 dates i've gone on in the last half year, as well as the 623 people who i've gone on them with, have been completely worthless and i was stupid to think otherwise. just plain stupid!! an advisable future plan is as follows: i must wade through a sea of unworthy men at a steady rate of about five dates per week, allowing myself to take no action outside of accepting or declining their suggestions. sadly, they are all bound to not be that into me...more
Lesli
While I don't necessarily agree with everything in the book, I get what the author is saying.

This slim, one hundred sixty-five page volume of humor, honesty, and tough love has given me an interesting outlook on relationships, men, women, and priorities.

Reading HJNTIY cracked me up as much as it opened my eyes. Just reading the introductions had me laughing out loud.

And sadly (and most embarrassingly), we [men:] would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you [women:] simply, 'You'r...more
PlatKat
Feb 13, 2008 PlatKat rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: broken-hearted girls
Recommended to PlatKat by: April
It burns, it burns! I'm not talking about the truth... in that sense, this book confirms what I already know. It's just frustrating to read all these letters from women who have let such bullshit go on for so long, and Greg's response is pretty much the same every time.

Also, the book assumes you want a serious relationship. Personally, I don't. But I don't want to feel dicked around either. I assume that most women are smart enough to know the difference between dating around and getting played...more
Kate
May 23, 2007 Kate rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: women
Shelves: nonfiction
My co-workered referred to Greg (the author) as my "patron saint," and, for better or for worse, he's right. Greg has become the voice in my head when it comes to guys, mainly because he's always right. I wish this book had been around when I was younger, though it has become very useful in my 20's.

This is a book I constantly pick up again, just to refresh my memory, and just to feel a little bit better when I'm feeling down ("Don't Waste the Pretty"). It's funny, it's honest, and it's always ri...more
Ann
I listened to the audiobook, read by the authors. And it's pretty hilarious, if you go for the whole "this is how I am, therefore, every man is that same way, therefore you should always only behave like this" thing. I mean, that's some serious research right there.

At the same time, I mostly think Greg is right. Women believe they are getting mixed signals from men, when really, the only thing they need to understand is that the absence of the right positive signals = negative signals. Or, he's...more
Lesley
Jul 03, 2008 Lesley rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Nicole
So, I decided to read this book because the movie is coming out soon, plus a few of my friends have read it and while dishing about ex-boyfriends over lunch have often said to me "he's just not into you" and then told me to read the book. I wish I had done so earlier and not wasted so much time on "Mr. short and fat" the not-so-into-me lawyer that never called me, never made time for me but I was totally obsessed with him for over a year (although we only went on one date, and that was a date th...more
Ataventis
So, I watched the movie once. No, twice, Well…. no, a million times for various i/logical,yet, clever reasons. It finally made me think, “ I already have one asshole, why would I need another one?” ;p

Maybe because of the casts? Or, maybe because of the feel of constant ‘punch’ while watching it? Either way, it finally got me to buy myself the book which were already published in 2004, and reprinted for the second time 4 years ago. Darn! I am obviously late; it has been out there for bloody three...more
Rotceh
I didn't even finish it.

I thought it was going to be an empowering book about women taking control of their choices, but instead i found a book that is just plain sexist.
I've never HATED a book before, but this might as well be my first.

So, ALL men are moved by sex? And they just like you or not? That thinking is called 'dichotomy thinking'. Is just as bad as when us women call all men bad- and it's plain NOT TRUE.

Yeah, there may be those kind of guys, but they are not the rule.
Men are not as bi...more
Elena
I read this book a few years ago, after dating jerk after jerk. It helped wake me up to the part I was playing in allowing myself to be treated badly by jerks. It's the slap in the face every girl needs who ever made an excuse for a lame guy in her life. The book is split into sections that decode mysterious boy behavior, gives some real life examples, and tells how you should and should NOT deal with the scenario. It's sort of like having your best guy friend read you the riot act.
The movie ma...more
Erin
I started reading this book after my boyfriend broke up with me. I thought it would help me to let go & I guess in some ways it has. I'm still not over him completely but reading this little book reminds me that it's better to be alone than with a guy who really isn't into me. So yes, I do recommend this little book. The truth hurts but it also sets you free.
sal
Sometimes I'm ashamed that I've read this book. ... But then, when I saw the preview for the new movie coming out, I gasped giddily and caught myself saying, "Oh! I love that book!"

So maybe my relationship with the book is like the relationships that are diagnosed in the book. Relationships in which one party (male) is sketchy and sometimes shows his affection but usually does not. I guess I wear the pants in this relationship...

If I was going to put it into one sentence, I would say that I'm...more
Samantha
I loved this book! If you only take one message away from this book let it be this: You are beautiful, you are worthy of being loved. Greg and Liz provide many examples of what love does NOT look like and while their tales are used to teach, they also entertain. I would recommend this book to every woman on this planet as its big aim is to help inflate women's self esteem, but I'd also go so far as to recommend this book to EVERYBODY because I'm a pop culture fiend and I believe there is value t...more
Jen Estrella
I added this to my zombie bandwagon shelf, not because this is a book about zombies, but because I felt like I was a zombie by hopping onto this bandwagon.


I bought this book because it was on the $1 wall. I threw down a $20 and left with 20 books, literally. Awesomesauce. So when I came across this one I threw it on there, why not? I figured it would be a quick read, and I liked the movie enough. It had Jennifer Aninston and Jennifer Connely in it. Thats win win for me. So when I was sorta laggi...more
Courtney
What female doesn't want a look into the male mind? This is an honest, no-excuses look at men and their thinking about dating and relationships. The best part - its written by a man who wants women to honestly know when a man isn't interested and leading us on and is just "wasting our pretty". I read it over and over and always find jewels of wisdom.
Indah Threez Lestari
Menurut buku ini, pria benar-benar menyukai seorang wanita, kalau dia mau melakukan apa saja demi bersama wanita tersebut, seperti:
- berhenti merokok
- menelepon setiap hari
- mendaki gunung
- menyeberangi samudra
- dll...

Teori ini sangat berlaku buat kisah cinta happy-ending ala Harlequin, di mana tokoh pria biasanya rela mengorbankan apa saja demi bersama tokoh wanita. Seperti lirik lagu Mr. Big:

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too
Waited on a line of greens and
...more
Sara Barrows
I have mixed feelings about this book. I read it around the time I was sometimes dating sometimes not dating a guy who clearly was not into me. And, after reading it, I actually felt better about myself than I thought I would and when the opportunity finally presented itself, closed the door for good with said guy, because I knew he was not into me, and never would be. However, another experience has also taught me that there are a category of men that this book does not cover, and because so, w...more
Tyler
As Greg says, guys will give signs when they're just not into the person. Some of the cases are fairly obvious to any but those involved while some can be a bit more complicated. But let's face it, if he's cheating on his wife with you, he's probably not that trustworthy. Some of Behrendt's suggestions are rather extreme though, such as the advice that if he doesn't call the day he promises to, get rid of him. The most interesting letters are those written by Nikki who clearly has horrible judge...more
Sandhya
http://sandyi.blogspot.com/2009/10/he...

I happened to read this while casually browsing at a book store. And trust me, it's so deliciously funny I couldn't put it down until I finished it. Throughout I had a smile on my face and sometimes had to really resist from laughing out loud.

It's typically about women's love problems (there are always so many of them, aren't they?) answered in the most atypical, and succinct manner by two people called Greg Behrendt (he's the real deal here!) and Liz Tucc...more
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Ask Greg and Amii...: Reasons for Being Single.. 2 55 Aug 29, 2013 07:37AM  
  • How's Your Drink?: Cocktails, Culture, and the Art of Drinking Well
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  • What She Saw...
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  • Oh the Glory of it All
  • The Between Boyfriends Book: A Collection of Cautiously Hopeful Essays
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  • Up in the Old Hotel
  • Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
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Gregory Behrendt is an American stand-up comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You (2004), later adapted into a film by the same name. Apart from that he also hosted two short-lived talk shows, The Greg Behrendt Show (2006) and Gr...more
More about Greg Behrendt...
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“A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the
woman he loves”
871 likes
“Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside.” 859 likes
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