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4.01  ·  Rating Details ·  887 Ratings  ·  85 Reviews
When she was fourteen, Jasvinder Sanghera was shown a photo of the man chosen to be her husband. She was terrified. She'd witnessed the torment her sisters endured in their arranged marriages, so she ran away from home, grief-stricken when her parents disowned her. Shame" is the heart-rending true story of a young girl's attempt to escape from a cruel, claustrophobic world ...more
Published January 25th 2007 by Hodder & Stoughton (first published 2007)
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♥ Jx PinkLady Reviews ♥
This story is on that will stay with me.

I'm not rating this book on its literary merits but on the very important real life story presented by this inspirational author and founder of a charity who has helped women and girls when they had NO ONE else to turn to, including their own families. Jasvinder tells the inspiring, heart-breaking and cruel details of her life and the lives of a plethora of other Asian women living in Britain who have suffered from honour violence and forced marriage. By
Aug 10, 2009 Jeannie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone interested in foreign women issues
Recommended to Jeannie by: Sabrina ~Thank you So Much!!
Shelves: i-own
This is absolutely one of the best books I have read in a very long time. I didn't know this happened in England of all places so I was very shocked to find it out. It is almost beyond my comprehension that mothers and fathers, whole families and towns would treat women in this manner. What a horrible horrible shame it is! I have read a lot on this subject but never knew it went on outside of those countries. What in the world will it take for them to realize how wrong it is to treat someone you ...more
Sep 18, 2016 Anna rated it really liked it
I read this book years ago, but still remember it, it made me cry God Bless Jasvinder Sanghera and wouman like her
Marília Domingos
Jul 28, 2012 Marília Domingos rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
"Não te atrevas a desgraçar esta família. Se quiseres chora ao fundo do jardim, mas não tragas os teus problemas para aqui." É isto que a mãe de uma jovem indiana lhe diz quando esta confessa que é violada pelo irmão e pelo tio, depois de lhe dar um estalo na cara.

Este livro fala da vida de muitas mulheres asiáticas, onde os casamentos forçados e a violência conjugal são o pão nosso de cada dia. As jovens são forçadas a casar-se com homens que nunca viram, homens estes que mais tarde se revelam
Aug 03, 2014 Catharine rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2015-books
Very thought provoking read about how the author escaped from her family who were going to force her into marriage. After hearing her speak about her life and experiences, I just felt I had to read it. She set up a charity Karma Nirvana to help Asian women to escape from their families and honour crimes. With her help forced marriage is now a criminal offence in this country. A must read book for all women and those in authority.
Apr 16, 2015 Sorairo rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Rilettura che conferma il valore dell'opera circa i suoi contenuti ovvero la realtà che la protagonista di origine indiana, allora sedicenne, è costretta ad affrontare in Inghilterra. Sposare uno sconosciuto come le sue sorelle o fuggire e divenire una reietta.Ovviamente scelse la seconda passando l'inferno, cadendo e rialzabndosi mille volte. Secondo me dovrebbe insegnare ad aprirsi alle altre culture e contemporaneamente a lottare contro quanto uccide una persona dentro e fuori.
♥ Marlene♥
Lots to say about this book but not finding words to formulate.

First of all it pissed me off, the way her parents thought they were better than The English people, they considered white, low class (there words , not mine) but the whites were good enough to let them live there and care for them and this is what is wrong with Europe nowadays.
Then they stick with there own, do not mix with white people, don't learn English and let there daughters marry people from their former country so the husba
Apr 05, 2013 Shauna rated it really liked it
This topic really interests me, most recently because I met a friend of mine at work who is Indian. She was born in England but lives in California now. She told me a lot about her culture and the things her family expects of her. It was all new information to me, and I wanted to read more about it. We had to order this book online because we had a hard time finding it here, as it was published in England. We both read it in just a few days.

I loved it. Jasvinder's story is so unbelievable to me,
Jul 05, 2009 Shreya rated it liked it
I wanted to sympathise and feel sorry for the author.. but all I felt was that she chose her own outcome. Left her parents to marry a man she didnt love, then left him for an affair that turned violent... Bad decisions... but I think they were fuelled by the rebellion against her parents. She never wanted to do what they asked.. always the opposite. I am also not saying that her parents were perfect.. far from it actually. But they didnt know the world or the alternative customs.

But I am glad th
Aug 07, 2012 Bipurna rated it really liked it
I finished reading this book without sleeping whole night and a day.Interesting.I salute her struggle.
But I have to say her 'why didn't you love Jassey even he has played a great role to be 'you'?'
#In a paragraph she writes "My mom and dad at least will approved off - a jatt." I understood this mean the proud of her at last she got married one of the high cast family.has she narrow mind on cast system. If am i wrong plz don't hesitate to make me right.
I appreciate the way of her writing style th
Andreea Tanase
The book would have been no remarkable literary achievement in itself, had it not been a truthful and representative depiction of a shocking reality most of us are not even aware of.
If you forgive the author her sometimes clumsy style and focus on the story, you get an insight into the Indian community in the UK and especially the perpetual drama of young girls whose families put cast, pride and the family 'good name' before their daughters' hapiness or even lieves.
This is a must read and an ey
Christine Bernadette
A true story about the horrors experienced by some women. And I really can't believe this is true to life. I mean, when you read this, you'll realize you're still lucky you're not one of the girls forced to be married at an early age to an older man. Or, abused by your own relatives.

Luckily there's Karma Nirvana now - the foundation founded by Jasvinder Sanghera herself to help the abused women.
Jul 22, 2012 Basak rated it it was amazing
Just finished the book, was easy to read, uncomfortable truths about very solid cultures. Hard to put yourself in their shoes, as an outsider i am finding it really difficult to understand why and what for. Strongly recommended for those having indian friends, to see how hard their life is or else could have been. For people suffering from any honour based abuses, this book could be the wake-up call.
Sabrina Rutter
Jasvinder saw it all to much in her everyday life, abuse, murder in the name of honour, and families turning their backs on one another just to save face. When she ran away around the age of 15 it became personal.
This is the story of how one Asian woman cut her ties with abusive tradition and became a voice for those afraid to use their own.
Mar 04, 2016 Anisah rated it really liked it
This story is so heartbreaking! Can't believe that the author went through so much just so her family could uphold the 'honour'! I think it's amazing that she in now working with people who are going though what she did to help them through their struggles.
Zabetta Camilleri
Aug 11, 2011 Zabetta Camilleri rated it really liked it
Show that you don't need to be perfect to do amazing stuff.

An ode to all those women who continue to fight against all odds for what is right
Jun 23, 2017 Alexandra rated it liked it
This book gave me a lot to think about.

I know that forced marriage is an issue within certain communities but I never stopped to consider that it would cross borders into other countries "first world" countries like the UK and Canada.

I had also never considered "middle eastern" women asian, but with these references I looked into marriage and other practices in China and other countries I considered "Asian". The practices vary but they have more in common than I would have guessed.

That the yo
Jan 05, 2017 R.Grewal rated it it was amazing
-review to come-
Jul 23, 2012 Catarina rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Um relato sincero e cru sobre a forma como pensam e vivem os hindus por esse mundo fora. Reparar que existem tantas semelhanças na forma como as mulheres são tratadas e consideradas tanto para os islâmicos quanto para os hindus, foi algo que me deixou ainda mais triste em relação ao que vai por esse mundo fora.

Não sou religiosa, mas considero que uma religião que trata e vê as mulheres como meras moedas de troca em combinações familiares, e que incute nas crianças, desde pequenas, que os problem
Jan 03, 2017 Amanda rated it liked it
Written with honesty and emotion, you read of her experiences and how she handles them. It can be difficult to understand but it is a door into another culture that Jasvinder has allowed us to see inside.
Apr 10, 2016 Hayley rated it really liked it
I’ve been really drawn to non-fiction recently, and have picked up quite a lot of memoirs. Shame is about a muslim woman, Jasvinder, who ran away from home in order to escape an arranged marriage and was then disowned by her family. All Jasvinder wanted was to be with the man she loved and to be able to have a relationship with her family but the two were mutually exclusive in the religion she was born in to.

Shame is really quite a shocking read at times, it’s very hard to read about how Jasvind
Nelson Lourenço
Sep 03, 2012 Nelson Lourenço rated it it was amazing
Nome do Livro em Português : "Banida"


"Do seu ponto de vista, eu conspurcara o nome da familía ao fugir com um chamar. A minha mãe sempre me dissera que os chamars são a casta mais baixa, as pessoas que recolhem estrume nos campos; algumas pessoas chamam-lhes intocáveis. Eu pertenço a uma família de jatts - na Índia, os jatts são proprietários de terras, e não importa que o único pedaço de terra de que o meu pai é dono, em Derby, seja o pequeno relvado atrás da nossa casa, porque ser de um
Tim Way
Feb 01, 2014 Tim Way rated it it was amazing
You’ll read this book in one or two sittings and you will cry. This is a true story of Jasvinder’s life and the lives of other young women who would often rather commit suicide than shame their family.

Jas was born and raised in Derby to high-caste Sikh parents who had emigrated from the Punjab. She saw each of her older sisters be casually shown a photo of the similar caste man from the Punjab that they would marry. When she was fifteen, she was shown her photo; she did not want to marry the man
May 19, 2009 Manjit rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A colleague of mine was reading this book and recommeded it to me - she was aware that I grew up in England and being Indian she said she would be interested in hearing my views on it after reading it. I had read about 30 pages when my husband and I took a trip to Adelaide (from Sydney) via Road....!!. I took the book along for the trip, and I became the "book on tape" my husband got me to read it out loud while he drove. We both grew up in the UK around the same time as the author so we were ab ...more
Aug 13, 2014 Amy rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, 2014
I was not overly impressed with this book. certainly it shed some light on the patriarchial culture and the culture of shame that frequently happens in South Asian communities, but while reading this, I couldn't help but feel as if a lot of the circumstances in her life, she brought on herself. She ran away to escape an arranged marriage and landed with a man that she didn't love. she wound up pregnant and married him anyway, then had an affair with an abusive man, then left her husband and went ...more
Nazia Ahmed
Apr 29, 2012 Nazia Ahmed rated it liked it
Shelves: favorites
True story, it describes some harsh realities about Jasvinder's past life.
A review I read by a reader below:
By Heer Kaur (22 Mar 2007)
"I felt she generalised far too much about the asian society, her family life and upbringing are so alien to me. I am a british asian also, who's parents originate from India. I feel she just asumed all asians live like she did, BUT WE DONT. I felt she, yet again, like many others put us in a stereotype.
Not all asian girls are forced in to arrange marriages with
Claudia Monteiro
Mais um livro, que nos retrata a discriminação com que as mulheres são tratadas, só pelo facto de serem mulheres.
A autora deste livro conta-nos como foi banida da sua família pelo simples facto de não aceitar um casamento arranjado pelos pais. Jasvinder oriunda de uma familia sikh que imigrara para Inglaterra, queria realizar coisas, tais como se licenciar, mas para a comunidade tais opções não eram vistas com bons olhos.
Começava então a luta de Jasvinder, para sobreviver sem os pais. Apesar de
Manpreet Kaur
Apr 15, 2014 Manpreet Kaur rated it it was amazing
This book is absolutely mind-blowing. I was able to imagine the scenes as I was reading it. It shows you a different side of other cultures tahts you are not familiar with. I cried so much throughout the book, especially at the point where her mother's in the hosptal and she says "Tu ai gayi!!" at this point I could picture this mother and daughter scene and cried my eyes out. Jasvinder you are the strongest person I have known about in my life, you are truly inspirational.

I wouldn't say that I
Rajesh Chaudhary
May 06, 2012 Rajesh Chaudhary rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Recommend to all bibliophiles and those who are more interested in human right issues.
Recommended to Rajesh by: Nobody. I chose it by myself.
Shelves: already-read
It was not for the first time in her life that she realized that she is also going to be married off by her parents in her puberty-age just like they did to her elder sisters, and she seemed quite apprehended about the impending situation -- one of the dreaded situation she was going to face soon.

This is a story of a young punjabi girl who fights off to live her own life. Having born in London, she thinks that she is different than her older sisters who are servile in their attitude to their re
Georgina Ball
Jul 30, 2010 Georgina Ball rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book explores a religion and culture which I was not familiar with. I know other religions/cultures can be strict but until reading this book I was not completely aware of the rules regarding family honour and shame and social views of this culture. This book really opened my eyes. The books starts with Jasvinder's childhood and ends at present day, so it spans a long period of time - and quite quickly. The book is not 'all woe is me' at some points you do not side with Jasvinder but she is ...more
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Jasvinder Sanghera is an activist and advocate for women's rights who was born in Derby. She is the co-founder of Karma Nirvana, a community-based project where there are a group of refuge centers in the United Kingdom for South Asian women fleeing forced marriages. A victim of a forced marriage herself, she tells her story and those of other British victims in her novel "Shame", published by Hodd ...more
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