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The Wizard, the Witch, and Two Girls from Jersey
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The Wizard, the Witch, and Two Girls from Jersey

3.63  ·  Rating Details  ·  738 Ratings  ·  73 Reviews
When mortal enemies Veronica and Heather get hit by a bar code scanner while fighting over the last copy of a hot fantasy novel, they are transported into the novel. Having accidentally killed the book's heroine, Vero and Heather have no choice but to try to save the land of Galma from the Twilight Queen.
Paperback, 288 pages
Published May 18th 2006 by Razorbill
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(showing 1-30 of 1,631)
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Nov 02, 2009 Dani rated it did not like it
Shelves: ya
I checked this out of the library for myself, but my 12-year-old daughter got to it first. She devoured it in two days and proclaimed that I had to read it. Her enthusiasm was the only thing that got me through this predictable book.

To be fair, the one-dimensional characters probably wouldn't be so predictable to a middle schooler who hasn't been exposed to as much television and film as I have. You have the nerdy girl and the rich airhead, the less handsome guy who turns out to be a better per
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
If you take fantasy books as serious business (for example, if you’ve ever yelled this at someone: ” How dare you say Hobbits aren’t real?!”), then this book is not for you. But if you can find humor in things you enjoy, then I have a feeling you’ll like this book. I did.

Now, the characters. At first, I thought this book would be more about Veronica since she’s the one who actually reads fantasy books and knows the layout of the world her and Heather are zapped into. (Don’t try to figure out the
When a fantasy book has a title like this, you pay attention. Featuring a mildly incompetent wizard, a very cute (but deadly) dragon, a malodorous Moat Beast, an elf with a fondness for baking cookies and a tower that looks suspiciously like a certain famous New York tourist site, et al., the reader quickly comes to realize that this book is special. It’s funny, scary, quirky and has more references to other fantasy novels than you can shake a wand at. Best of all, the story revolves around the ...more
Sep 22, 2008 Marsha rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: everyone
Shelves: fantasy-fiction
I enjoyed this book more than any book I can recall reading recently. It was funny, suspenseful, clever, and I genuinely cared about the characters. Usually, I am not a fantasy fiction reader, but the title, a play on the title "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" caught my eye, and I realized that the book is a parody of all the fantasy books one has read from "Lord of the Rings" to "The Golden Compass." When two girls get in a fight in a bookstore over the last remaining copy of a fantasy b ...more
Feb 23, 2010 Brooke rated it liked it
Fun, clean fantasy (some language) about two girls who, when fighting over the same book they both need for a school paper, are zapped into the story itself. Unwittingly one of them kills the heroine of the story and so assumes her place. Slowly they make their way through the kingdom and the plot trying to bring sunlight back into the kingdom of Galma with the help of a Kebler Elf (who makes delicious cookies) and a wizard. References to Keebler Elves, Lord of the Rings, The Lion, the Witch and ...more
Apr 24, 2009 Heather rated it it was amazing
Probably the best book I've read all year, this book is tailored for people who know something about fantasy novels as it focuses on two girls, one a fantasy fan and one a spoiled ditz, who get sucked into a popular fantasy book and accidentally screw everything up. I haven't read a book that made me laugh out loud like this one did in a long time. Between the Duchess of Uncomfortable Humidity (also known as the Dizzly Witch), the world's cutest dragon, and Kiblar elves that are known for their ...more
Aug 24, 2015 Rachel rated it liked it
Shelves: fantasy, ya-novels
A cute, imaginative tale about two girls who get zapped into a fantasy storybook. They appear at the end of chapter two, accidentally kill the heroine, and promptly change the story completely--in an extremely entertaining fashion.

Recommended for middle school girls, as that was the age that I most enjoyed it.
Kate  Maxwell
Jun 06, 2011 Kate Maxwell rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: young young adults
Shelves: ya
This was a cute YA book that could have carried a better message and had a better ending. Our girls had read this some years ago. I was cleaning the bookcase and came across this one, remembering that they all had enjoyed it, so I read it to determine whether or not I should keep it.

This story is about two girls who are opposites but get sucked into a fantasy novel as they are fighting over the last copy in the book store the night before the book report is due. Once they enter the story, the p
May 24, 2011 Christine rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya
If you take fantasy books as serious business (for example, if you’ve ever yelled this at someone: ” How dare you say Hobbits aren’t real?!”), then this book is not for you. But if you can find humor in things you enjoy, then I have a feeling you’ll like this book. I did.

Now, the characters. At first, I thought this book would be more about Veronica since she’s the one who actually reads fantasy books and knows the layout of the world her and Heather are zapped into. (Don’t try to figure out the
Apr 19, 2008 Caitlin rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: My family and Friends
Recommended to Caitlin by: My mother
Summary : It is about Veronica and Heather two girls that get send into Chapter Two of the classic fantasy novel, The Queen of Twilight. The Queen of Twilight is a book with something for all fantasy fans to love—including a magical land that has been shrouded in darkness for years by an evil queen.

Heather and Veronica accidentally kill the book’s heroine, and from then on, they have to work together to find their way back to the real world. With only an elf-bakery reject, a talking squirrel, an
Apr 27, 2008 Kit rated it it was amazing
You know when you realize that the premise of a new book could either be done really well or be a flaming ball of suckitude? That was how I felt when I started this book, in which Heather and Veronica, the prom queen and the bookworm from Jersey, get zapped into a sword-and-sorcery novel. It could have been awful, but instead it was really, really well done. The sendups of fantasy conventions were actually thoughtful rather than just dumb jokes about guys in tights. Veronica is a great character ...more
Chick-lit meets epic fantasy! (YES, YOU HEARD ME.) Oh my gosh, this book is so SILLY. ...AND CRAZY! The description alone should give you a general idea on how blissfully wacky it is, (two girls get hit by a bar code scanner and get transported into a fantasy book?! WUUUHHHHH?) If that isn't weird enough for you, wait until you see what's inside the pages! Seriously, I found myself laughing like an idiot in every chapter. Mostly at the characters - they're all pretty extreme. ESPECIALLY HEATHER! ...more
Dominique Yu
Dec 09, 2014 Dominique Yu rated it it was amazing
I find this book really really funny! :D i find the whole thing amusing. granted there were some serious stuff but the journey is really funny.
Sep 30, 2009 Sarah rated it liked it
I thought this satirical fantasy was cute and fluffy, just what it was probably intended to be. The author also helped write M or F? which I liked. My book club students selected this one to read simply because of the title and front cover. The two main characters, Heather and Veronica, are thrown together into the fantasy world of a novel they are writing a paper on for class. Heather is assumed to be the princess and the two girls play along because they want the wizard to help them get back t ...more
Aug 03, 2009 Echo rated it liked it
I was torn between giving this book 3 or 4 stars. The concept really grabbed me when I saw it in the bookstore. When I started reading it, there were a few times I thought, "Okay, that sounds like something I would have thought up in the stories I wrote when I was 12." Then again, this is written for a younger crowd, so maybe those are ideas the target audience would love. Also, I think she executed them well, even if they were very simple ideas.
Overall, I really liked this one by the end. It is
Karolinde (Kari)
This book is a spoof of and a tribute to the fantasy genre. Two girls find themselves zapped into a story where they accidently kill the heroine and change the story. There are direct mentions of some of the truly great fantasy novels along with characters and devices that are obviously "inspired" from others. (There's a sword wielding squirrel who is a bit of a coward and a wicked witch with a long green nose.)

The funny part of the book is that at the end, you're not sure who is scamming who, e
Sep 06, 2011 Kathy rated it did not like it
Every now and then I pick up a Lone Star title in the YA section of my library for a light read. I did finish this one, but it was lacking in plot and character development. It also had a few objectionable words, that I thought were rather unnecessary. It did make me smile a few times... Kiblar elves that make cookies (groan) and the Countess of Uncomfortable Humidity or "Drizzly Witch" (clever). I didn't fall in love with any of the characters here, and I can't think of anyone in my life I coul ...more
Feb 17, 2014 Ayumiayuzawa marked it as to-read
It's good
Jan 20, 2009 Mike rated it liked it
This is a book to not judge by its cover, which screams "rather young, very female audience". It is, in fact, about (and probably aimed at) teenage girls, but I'm more than 20 years and a Y chromosome away from being a teenage girl and I liked it.

It plays with and subverts fantasy tropes in a way that's always affectionate, and has a good story with some fun characters. One of the main characters, Heather, also goes through a lot of positive change in the course of the relatively short book.
Gail Harcourt-Brown
Aug 12, 2008 Gail Harcourt-Brown rated it it was ok
This book got a lot of attention for having a funny title and a new twist on the ever-popular "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" story. I admit I was suckered in by the title and a handful of reviewers who thought it was uproariously funny. Unfortunately, the book is only mildly funny. The author went for the obvious laughs, and the prose is so clumsy in places, it makes you wonder if anyone at Razorbill actually read the manuscript before sending it to the printers.
Dec 12, 2013 Risa rated it liked it
This book i did like it and it really caught my attention from the very start , never did it really seem boring at any point. So this book is about two very different girls, one named Veronica Lopez and the other Heather Simms the both meet each other when fighting over a book and suddenly the get warped into the book , the only way to get putts to help each other out and save The Land Galma. This book i could never put down it really amazed me !
Jul 02, 2008 Celia rated it it was ok
Shelves: ya-lit
This was kind of "cute", a trifle amusing, but I think J.K. Rowling has spoiled me. I now expect my fantasy literature to be at least somewhat "great", and this book was not. The two female characters are predictible, and the author borrows a lot from other fantasy stories. Oh well.
Oct 29, 2014 Ashley marked it as to-read
Shelves: dnf, witches
I'll have to try finishing this another time. I keep checking it out but then reading other books. I really was enjoying it but then it got a bit slow in the middle and it felt like an LOTR knock off of sorts and I just can't seem to get back into it right now.
Mar 20, 2011 Katy rated it liked it
The book as a whole was amazing. Full of excitement, friendship and all the things that make fantisy books great! I only gave It 3 stars because I did NOT like the ending. It wasn't sad but it was, to me, unfinished. This being said it still definitly worth the read!
Apr 30, 2013 Karla rated it it was ok
The description here of the book is a bit misleading. Veronica and Heather are more polar opposites who tend to be ignorant of each other than arch enemies. It's a fun, silly read that can be entertainment for a few hours. It does contain swear words.
Mar 24, 2014 Kelsey rated it it was amazing
This book is amazing, hysterically funny, and a good read all together.
Nicholas Lizardi
Sep 20, 2010 Nicholas Lizardi rated it really liked it
This is a fun book in which the author takes a serious story but riddles it with jokes and allusions at today's culture to capture the reader's attention. This book showed me how a story can be paralleled to reality in a way that isn't obvious.
I read it one day when a quarter of my fam. and me were walking to the park. It was my sister's book and I accidently dropped it in the mud. So when I was finished washing off the cover, I got a good look at it. And figured I could read it.
Sep 27, 2013 Robin rated it liked it
Recommends it for: 10 and up
Shelves: funny, fantasy
I enjoyed this silly send-up of fantasy novels. In the end, it started to take itself seriously, which didn't work for me. It definitely read as if the author is hoping it'll be made into a TV movie. Still, it was pretty fun.
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Bestselling author Lisa Papademetriou is the author of the 'Confectionately Yours' series, 'Middle School: Big, Fat Liar' and 'Homeroom Diaries' (both with James Patterson), and many other novels for middle grade and young adult readers. Her books have appeared on the Bank Street Best Books of the Year list, the NYPL Books for the Teen Age, and the Texas Lone Star Reading List, among others. A for ...more
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