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3.45  ·  Rating Details  ·  404 Ratings  ·  94 Reviews
This poignant memoir of new widowhood is an elegant pastiche, not of grief but of renewal. Roiphe writes her way into the unknown world of life after love, capturing the infinite number of firsts that lie ahead.
Audio CD
Published September 1st 2008 by Blackstone Audiobooks (first published August 26th 2008)
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A wonderful book about a difficult subject! How do you feel when your husband dies after a long happy marriage? The author is almost 70 and she had been married for almost 40 years. The book isn't about the death itself, but afterwards - how you cope with living without the other oerson. This deals with a subject that usually never appeals to me. I do not like books that deal out pat answers on how to solve problems. They couldn't possibly succeed - everyone is different. So I rarely want any ad ...more
Jul 31, 2008 Danna rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Older readers (30+) Who Have Lost A Loved One, Grievers, Mourners, Journal Keepers
Recommended to Danna by: Harper MySpace Readers Program -
If you've passed Anne Roiphe's books on shelves at BookPeople and Borders like me (see Up the Sandbox! through Water from the Well...), you may already be familiar with descriptions of her feminist writings, which combine realism and romance. Roiphe is also a well-established memoir writer (1185 Park Avenue and Fruitful: A Real Mother) connecting with women readers for four decades. Her latest memoir, Epilogue , is true to her trademark duality, without detached factual research and fiction's a ...more
Nov 11, 2014 Randy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book really surprised me. I liked it. Couldn't put it down; and I'm still not quite sure why. Perhaps it's because I'm getting old that the long internal dialogue from a woman nearly my age, grieving over the death of her husband of forty years, contemplating loneliness and how she will spend the rest of her life, struck a chord. Or, perhaps I was fascinated with her unsuccessful search for a new partner via personal ads and whereby she has a series of email relationships and bad ...more
Jun 13, 2009 Laurel-Rain rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
In the first year of her life after the death of her spouse—of almost forty years—author Anne Roiphe must face all the usual phases of loss and grieving.

As she weaves together the tale of her journey, she moves back and forth, between memory—of her husband, of their life together—and new experiences of life alone.

Old friends seem unfamiliar, in their continued state of coupledom, and new friends—men she meets online at—seem alternately odd and/or discordant in that their stories do not
May 18, 2009 David rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
memoir of bereavement after her husband died. To the extent there is humor, it comes in her recounting of online dating as a 70-year old and some of the unusual men her search reels in. Does a nice job of describing her late husband, a psychoanalyst who worked with little kids and liked to watch NY Giants football on TV.

To some extent the book is repetitive -- it's more a meditation than a factual or chronological description of the year. She certainly says she feels lonely or doesn't want to be
Apr 08, 2009 Marie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoirs
Roiphe is a poetic, gifted writer. The way she describes certain situations in her life or her feelings of grief after the death of her husband are masterful. I meant to give some example quotes from the book I liked, but I forgot and put it in the "to be returned to the library" pile.

Wikipedia describes Anne Roiphe as a feminist writer. I've never read any of her books before--and in fact I think I might check out one of her novels out of curiosity. She is the mother of the very controversial K
The description from the inside flap of the book was a bit deceiving. It tells the reader that Roiphe loses her husband at the age of seventy and explores new love after loss. There is that element. I got the impression--mistakenly--that the book would be similar to A Round-Heeled Woman by Jane Juska, which discussed later in life dating with a lighter touch, but with some seriousness.

This book, for me, was really about the intense emotional deepening of life after the loss of a spouse. Roiphe l
Patricia L.
Aug 15, 2012 Patricia L. rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Old Men, if you have ever wondered about dating a widow here is the memoir for you. The author shares her intimate thinking so gonestly it made me blush.
"How much easier it would be if we were dogs and could smell the truth about each other and then go run in the park back and forth, jumping and tumbling in the dirt."
"A chicken can fall in love with a goat."
'Class is such a loaded word, a marxist word, a thing no decent American wants to talk about. But it is real, real like age, real like your
Nov 17, 2008 Janet rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir-bio
One writers passage through the grief of losing her husband of 40-odd years. After tough times of loneliness, odd internet dating and friends who dissolve away (all described in wonderful detail), she discovers that she will make it on her own. Sad but not always. Lonely but not unbearably. She recognizes that altho close companionship is often a key to happiness and comfort, being on her own is enough. We are all, after all, in this alone. You an almost feel her relief at settling in with a mea ...more
Ann Rutkoski
Mar 26, 2016 Ann Rutkoski rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The author felt like a kindred spirit to me in many ways. I felt her pain; I walked in her shoes. She has put into words the thoughts I cannot.
May 30, 2014 Tammy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir
An eloquent writer. I read the whole book, but I was a little bit bored with it. I did kind of enjoy the journal-like nature of it while at the same time wishing there were chapters so that I could have a good place to stop and pick it up again later! I'm a little bit curious about her other books, as well as her "controversial daughter" after reading some of the reviews. It was interesting to see what others had to say. I agree about much of the comments, both positive and negative. One final n ...more
May 20, 2011 Edith rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir
There are many older women writing about their widowhood these days. Writer and journalist Anne Roiphe joins them. She comes from a privileged New York City background (see her earlier memoir "1185 Park Avenue") and is mourning the loss of her psychoanalyst husband of nearly 40 years. She is trying to deal with her need for companionship and love and is actively seeking a new man in her life while still mourning her late husband.

Anne Roiphe is a woman with many advantages- she is stable financi
Nov 01, 2008 Deirdre rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed this book, which I just finished in about a day. It's episodic, so it's easy to read - many brief excerpts from Roiphe's life as a new widow. The book brought to mind The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. I've always enjoyed Roiphe's other books, on feminism, marriage and being a mother.

This book was very honest, and I liked that aspect, as if she was having a conversation with the reader. She did such a good job of describing her feelings of loneliness and isolation as widow t
Jan 27, 2009 Diane rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This memoir is the story of Anne Roiphe, a novelist, who at 69 years of age, lost her husband of almost 40 years rather unexpectedly. She was unprepared for life on her own, and she found it difficult to piece together the basics for a new life, as her grief at times seemed unbearable.

Several months after her husband's death, her daughters placed a personal ad in the New York Review of Books. They described their mother as a writer, and an attractive woman who loved the ocean and books. What fol
Kathleen Hagen
Epilogue, by Anne Roiphe, narrated by Lorna Raver, produced by Blackstone Audio, downloaded from

Anne Roiphe, a journalist, uses journaling, and ultimately this book, to deal with the aftermath of her husband’s sudden death and the starting of a new life. She writes this story in vignettes. We see her balancing a checkbook for the first time, hailing a taxi, lockingher own door, going out with a man from a personal ad her daughter puts in the paper, to joining on line and g
Sep 02, 2013 Lois rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As she take you through day-to-day living working on the second part of grief with remaking of your life she concludes that she does not have a soul mate and most likely never will but she will be fine. Her daughters had placed a personal ad in a literary journal that Anne began to consider the previously unimagined possibility of a new man. It said that she was a writer. It said that she was attractive. She loved the ocean and books. She did pursue relationships with men but it just didn't work ...more
Oct 16, 2009 Holly rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I was disappointed - a 70-something widow writes about dealing with her husbands death and attempting to date again. The review made it sound as if most of the book would be centered around her dating life post husband's death. She made short references to the men she went out with - dull descriptions surrounding anything to do with the dates - the place, the man, her emotions.

Instead, the book centered around her pain after her husbands death. I can read about other's pain in life, but found h
Apr 10, 2016 Maggie rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
An easy read, but I was disappointed. This writer uses beautiful language but I just did t feel like I gained any perspective. May sound dumb but the way she used initials instead of names throughout felt as though she was purposefully holding back, and I guess I carried this to my whole opinion of the book.
Natalie S.
May 19, 2016 Natalie S. rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Epilogue is the memoir of an elderly writer who has been recently widowed. Every time I told someone, "I'm reading this memoir of an elderly writer who has been recently widowed!" they would respond with a low, quiet groan and the Chrissy Teigen face. Understandably! I don't know why I decided I had the emotional fortitude to read this book, and it did fuck me up a little, which is to say: it is excellent. Read it, but be prepared to spend a lot of time thinking about death, grief, loss, quietne ...more
Apr 13, 2014 Felicia rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir
Not as good as Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. A memoir about Roiphe's life after the sudden death of her husband from a massive heart attack. Some of the information that was presented bothered me, particularly the intimacy so soon after the death of her husband- even though intellectually she knew that the "relationship" was non- existent. It seemed as if Roiphe had to realize by experiencing some inadequate men that life can be lived alone after the death of a partner.
Dec 08, 2012 Tima marked it as started-but-abandoned  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: from-library
I abandoned this one without really reading it. It might be the greatest memoir ever written in the history of the world but I'll never know.

It is a massive personal pet peeve of mine when authors remove names from their memoirs. Change them? By all means, go ahead! But when the book is nothing but a series of:

K said this to H and H said "aww hell no bee-otch" and L and B got into a fight over who could eat the most amount of raw bacon in under 30 seconds.

It drives me insane - just give them a
Jul 23, 2015 Donnalee rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is the one book I would recommend to someone recently widowed. Age is no boundary here.
She described feelings and situations that were exactly the same as what I experienced.

Here is a gift to bring a friend who grieves a husband/lover.
Feb 02, 2015 Teresa rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
In view of my life , losing the love of my life, I could have written this book. It is so me and so true of the things you go through when you lose your husband, your sole mate. I laughed and cried and identified with so many of her descriptions of widowhood. I am not looking for a mate, I am just trying to be. Thank you Anne for your outlook on life!
Laureen Nowakowski
I can totally understand how she felt after loosing her husband. It sounds depressing but I liked her honesty and her story of learning to carry on. I also liked that she felt young and healthy. At first she thinks she must find a man, but she learns to settle in.
Louise Silk
It starts strong but quickly turns to repetitive complaining. I'm deeply underwhelmed to have this author as my model of widowhood. Come on Anne, I know you can do better- not in the writing- but in life.
Mar 19, 2009 Natalie rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
She's a genuinely good writer; I can tell. I may try another one of her books. However, on this topic, I lost interest in the book in the middle. As a widow, she talks about the loss of her husband. She elaborates on how to live without him. In this she speaks about building relationships with other men. She basically feels alone and does not want to burden her children with her lonliness. I understand her feelings and the premise of the book. But... alas, I am missing the schematic background t ...more
Nov 23, 2008 Carrie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A really lovely exploration of life after loss, including how much happiness and companionship we have the right to expect across the course of our lives. Although much of the book is heartbreaking in its honesty, I did giggle a little when Roiphe discusses the online dating scene for the after-fifty set. My favorite paragraph: "If the owl and the pussycat went to sea in a pea-green boat and the owl flew off, the pussycat better pick up the oars and row toward shore--she has, after all, neither ...more
Katharine Holden
I found it a bit hard to believe that the author doesn't know how to turn the doorkey in the lock of the front door of the apartment she has owned for years. I understand that her husband did many things for her, but she never unlocked the door? There were many such moments of disbelief for me as I read this book. I wanted to like it, but felt that the author was making a concerted effort to make her readers feel sorry for her. But I didn't. The whole "I had to advertise on and all I g ...more
Apr 30, 2016 Tammy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2016
No plot, which I don't usually like, but I enjoyed Anne's low key writing style. I will look for more of her books.
Mar 22, 2014 Kirsten rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
if you are a woman you will think of yourself and your mother and you will be sad but not scared
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Over a four-decade career, Roiphe has proven so prolific that the critic Sally Eckhoff observed, "tracing Anne Roiphe's career often feels like following somebody through a revolving door: the requirements of keeping the pace can be trying." (Eckhoff described the writer as "a free-thinking welter of contradictions, a never-say-die feminist who's absolutely nuts about children"). Roiphe published ...more
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