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He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man
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He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

3.73  ·  Rating Details  ·  273 Ratings  ·  46 Reviews
The companion book to Ian Kerner's smash success She Comes First, He Comes Next offers women his sometimes radical, always expert advice on everything from the nature of male desire to sex-techniques that work
While women everywhere benefited from Ian Kerner's sexual philosophy of female pleasure in She Comes First, now it's time to learn all about what turns men on and mak
Hardcover, 240 pages
Published January 10th 2006 by William Morrow (first published January 1st 2006)
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Jan 31, 2013 Natasha rated it really liked it
Shelves: sexuality
Yes, I actually read the whole book and added it to my GR shelf for the whole world to see. Shy? Nopes! This is way 'tamer' than the erotica we read every day ;)

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Sooooo, if you are looking for book filled to the brim with sex tips & positions, don't read this. This book isn't aimed at newbies, but rather couples that have been in a relationship for a long time and crave more intimacy with their partner and would like to rekindle some of that sexual excitement that was there in th
Ligia Ayala
Apr 19, 2007 Ligia Ayala rated it liked it
Recommends it for: The Curious and Open Minded
Ok. Here is what I'll say about why I own this book: No one ever taught me anything positive about sexual desire or money in my household as I was growing up. Those are perhaps the most taboo subjects in our intimate lives. While intimacy in relationships is not all about sex, we can not deny its importance. I only wish someone would write a book that explained the intrinsic desire to spend money I don't have...then I'd be taboo free.

The author wrote "She Comes First" a couple of years before th
Jun 01, 2012 Lisa rated it really liked it
Wonderful read and many good hands-on lessons, if you can keep up. Ian does a good job in giving detail suggestions on how to use your hands, body, and mind while creating a connection with your lover. According to Ian these techniques will help you to gain more confidence in the bed and become more assertive in giving your lover pleasure. Many ah times I was aroused just taking my time savoring on each lesson. It will take a few times to read it and let it soak in to really grasp each technique ...more
Jul 07, 2015 Guylou rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Overall the book was interesting, but nothing really new was uncovered. I think this would be a great book for young inexperienced ladies!
Kathryn Reimer
May 06, 2014 Kathryn Reimer rated it really liked it
A psychological and physiological guide to men's sexuality and a great reminder of where your husband is coming from (pun intended.)
Jun 06, 2008 Rachel marked it as to-read
found this while shelving, but i may have to go to another branch to check it out. i have to work with these people, after all.
Dec 17, 2014 EmmiK rated it really liked it
So this one was also informative. I like how Part 1 is more theoretical and gives the reader something like a crash course on male anatomy and psychology while Part II is about HOW to go about acheiveing a desired result. One can always skip straight to Part II but I think it's best to read it in order. I did read She Comes First in order and I learned quite a lot about my own body that I didn't know before. Very Informative, educational books that you can go back to again and again while trying ...more
Tofu Fairy
Apr 18, 2013 Tofu Fairy rated it it was amazing
I got this book to better understand the opposite sex and educate myself on all things penis related. LOL This book fit the bill. I learned a lot about what makes my partner tick both physically and emotionally that I did not know, as well as was reassured that what I did know was accurate. It opened up a dialog between my partner and I as well by creating an empathetic understanding in me for what he, as a male, goes thru on a daily basis, not just sexually. This book is mostly NOT about sex bu ...more
Nov 20, 2014 Ellis rated it liked it
Wow! Perhaps if I'd read the full title of this book I wouldn't have read it. Personally, I am not a woman, and I have no interest in pleasuring a man. (My thanks to women who are so inclined, however.) That said, this book was pretty interesting.
May 30, 2016 Mary rated it did not like it
Don't waste your time or energy. NOT the book I was expecting after I read "She Comes First". I was so disappointed I actually wrote the author and wanted my money back (didn't work by the way, but he did offer me some free online books).
Feb 23, 2012 Deb rated it it was amazing
*A great big O*

I'd give this book a big O for outstanding. This book goes beyond just serving as a how-to on having great sex, but first and foremost provides a how-to on having a great relationship. (And, believe it or not, the two really are connected.) Continually entertaining, informative, and insightful from cover to cover, this book will likely suck (ok, puns are hard to avoid in writing this review) you in from the start and keep your attention throughout. As the author conveys throughout
Sep 16, 2014 Mai rated it really liked it
Shelves: relationships
very informative and intensive book about a man's sexuality from a scientific and male's subjective perspective.
Apr 03, 2014 Marce rated it did not like it
The worst book ever . Read only 2 chapters and was more than enough. Terrible book.
Jul 02, 2011 Patrice rated it really liked it
Leaned more about myself than I thought I would. It is a great social look at men and women, and the author point you to a number of other books I want to look at. I will let you know. I think this one should be on the list of books for all to take in a class in college, like the "Human Ape" it explains a great deal. Now Ron and I are reading the first book, "she comes first" Will let you all know on this one, as it is referred to a great deal in this book and I am now interested in self discove ...more
Apr 06, 2010 Anita rated it liked it
Veeerry interesting. I might have gotten more out of this book if I had a partner who came a little bit closer to fitting the profile of 'sexually dominant and somewhat distant, uncreative in the sack' heterosexual male. But I still enjoyed it and would recommend it to others. Only the last 1/5 or so of the book is about what you might refer to as 'techniques.' The previous sections - covering topics from foreskin ("the best sex toy money can't buy") to pheromones - are far more interesting.
Apr 22, 2009 Carli rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
yes, yes, I'm interested in sexuality and I'd read some posts about this (and his other book She Comes First) on a couple of blogs. And hey, can't hurt to learn some new techniques, right?

Anyway, I thought Kerner's exploration of male sexuality was interesting- not your usual stuff, though it does seem that he has a very particular, monogamous committment-focused perspective. I'm intrigued by his theory of pelvic tension. You'll have to read about that yourself. :-)
Sheree Tampus
Apr 25, 2014 Sheree Tampus rated it liked it
Shelves: health
I love Ian Kerner. He has a wonderful way of making sex more fun and meaningful without imposing silly rules and unnecessary pressure to perform.
However, I found the book a bit hard to finish even though I was so enthusiastic about this at the beginning.
The book became a bit too technical in the latter chapters.
Still, I enjoyed reading the book. It's very informative and entertaining. I will definitely keep this book around to read and reread again.
Jan 09, 2011 Jan rated it it was ok
I started reading this book in the high hopes that it would inlighten me. Well it didn't. It was like reading a psych text book for a college class. I got 60% through it and became so bored reading it that I put it on my book shelf 7 months ago and it's been gathering dust ever since. Who knows, maybe one day I'll open it up again and finish it. I did pay for the damn thing, I need to at least get my moneys worth out of it.
Jan 10, 2009 Jessie rated it did not like it
Holy lame. This book is only going to interest ladies if their sex life is the least imaginative thing ever, if their guys have no idea what they are doing and also probably have no emotional connection to themselves at all, and if one or both parties have serious hangups about even just vanilla sex. I read it in one sitting, and the only thing I could think the entire time was, "Well, yes, OBVIOUSLY." No dice, man.
Sep 03, 2010 Katey rated it liked it
There's a great line in the movie Clerks that is truthful in its brevity: "Making a male climax isn't at all challenging. Insert somewhere close, preferably moist, thrust, repeat."

This book doesn't completely disagree with that assessment. However, it does give a bit more food for thought, and perhaps a woman may take a few things for granted upon occasion (as well as men).
Jan 12, 2009 Offbalance rated it liked it
If you're a real beginner to sex, or never understood that it's more than an activity to fill a few bored hours, then this is a great book for you to read. Kerner stresses connection and genuine intimacy. Which is a great lesson for the Cosmo crowd, but if you're already there, his lessons can get tedious.

However, some of his more physical lessons were quite illuminating.
I Love Audiobooks
Jan 17, 2015 I Love Audiobooks rated it really liked it
Well done. Short audiobook, insightful, have the feeling this guy is full of info, almost wish he'd write a more expanded book! (for lack of a better word - hee hee). He gets very detailed in his instructions... wow, I might need to go back and take notes. Very informative stuff.
Nov 27, 2010 Elena rated it it was amazing
It is a great book! The author gives a lot of info on how to please a man.
Girls, if you think you know how to please your man - think again!
I'm not gonna say much, just read the book and you'll see why I call it my bedroom bible :P
Jan 13, 2012 Allison rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
I read this book as a companion piece to She Comes First by the same author. I think I'm going to reread it before I write a review. First impression is that it looks to be pretty helpful for women to understand and support their man.
Jul 21, 2013 Thomas rated it it was ok
Eh, was OK. Not really well written, IMHO, but I suppose there were a couple relevant points.

Would be way better to have an open conversation with one's male partner rather than waste time on the generalizations in this book.
Mar 20, 2008 Shauna rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: all women!
Recommended to Shauna by: me!
Really good book...probably not what you think. If you have low self esteem this book is good for making you feel sexy! I suggest it to all women, as well as suggest "She Comes First" to all men!
Oct 12, 2008 Erin rated it really liked it
About the psychology of men and sex--from the obsession with penis size to porn to the reasons why men and women approach everything differently-especially sex.
Apr 13, 2007 Clare rated it it was ok
eh, I love to buy these types of books. Although there was some insights into the male psyche I didn't learn anything I hadn't figured out through experience.
Jul 30, 2008 Charlynn rated it it was amazing
I recommend this book to all women. It is clever and it explains a lot of the psychology behind sex and men. Plus it is a fun read.
Angela Cloud
Jan 25, 2012 Angela Cloud rated it really liked it
Shelves: just-for-fun
I was reading this book because I had a dude in my life, but now that that's over, I think I'll shelve it for the time being.
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Ian Kerner is a nationally-recognized sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author of numerous books including the ever-popular She Comes First (Harper Collins). He writes a well known column for CNN and can often be seen on the TODAY Show and the Dr. Oz Show amongst others. He is regularly quoted as an expert in print and online media.

Ian is certified by the American Association of
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