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When Bad Things Happen to Good People

3.92 of 5 stars 3.92 · rating details · 5,038 ratings · 347 reviews

When Harold Kushner’s three-year-old son was diagnosed with a degenerative disease and that he would only live until his early teens, he was faced with one of life’s most difficult questions: Why, God? Years later, Rabbi Kushner wrote this straightforward, elegant contemplation of the doubts and fears that arise when tragedy strikes. Kushner shares his wisdom as a rabbi, a...more

Paperback, 176 pages

Published August 24th 2004 by Anchor (first published 1981)

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May 22, 2012 K.D. Oliveros rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to K.D. by: Barbara

Shelves: religion, essays, non-fiction, inspirational

Yesterday, while I was trying to compose this review in my mind, I saw this headline in The Philippine Daily Inquirer: Corona Leaving Fate to God. For my foreigner friends, this impeachment trial of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the Philippines has been one of the favorite topics for discussion nowadays among us Filipinos. Our Chief Justice is facing 8 Articles of Impeachment. Among these are failure to disclose to the public his statement of assets and liabilities, partiality and su...more Yesterday, while I was trying to compose this review in my mind, I saw this headline in The Philippine Daily Inquirer: Corona Leaving Fate to God. For my foreigner friends, this impeachment trial of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the Philippines has been one of the favorite topics for discussion nowadays among us Filipinos. Our Chief Justice is facing 8 Articles of Impeachment. Among these are failure to disclose to the public his statement of assets and liabilities, partiality and subservience in cases involving the ex-President Arroyo, etc.

While looking at that headline, I recalled this book. Very timely. Rabbi Harold S. Kushner (born 1935) wrote this very inspiring book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, as a tribute to his son Aaron, who at the age of 14, died of the incurable disease progeria. In this book, Rabbi Kushner says that God has no capacity to control everything that happens on earth or to us. Many of what happen to us are due to the choices that we take or things that we do to ourselves and to others. Applying it to the case of Chief Justice Corona, his problems are due to his own actions and God has NOTHING to do with it. Shame on him for dragging God to the problems that he seems to have created by himself or with cohorts.

However, if what Corona says is true, i.e., that he is innocent, then it is correct for him to ask for God's guidance or mercy. Rabbi Kushner aptly titled this book: take note that it is not "Why" but "When." This means that this book does not explain why bad thing happens to good people (or vice versa). The reason is that God gave us the free will to decide. So, when tragedy strikes to us, we should not ask God "Why me?" but the right question is "How can you help me, God?" or better yet ask for help. Anyway, God has promised not to forsake those who believe in Him.

My favorite part is Rabbi Kushner's analysis of The Book of Job where he mentions exactly his treatise above. God is not that all-powerful to control everything that happens on earth. He does not have the power to control what happened in the Holocaust. He did not will the death of the Jews. Those were the actions of men.

Thank you to my friend, Barbara, for recommending this book to me. Very inspiring. Eye-opener. Good straightforward narration. Proof that an author does not need to employ big words and vague philosophy to deliver his message.

A worthwhile book! (less)

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Oct 27, 2007 Ellen rated it 4 of 5 stars

I wish I could say that this book answers the question posed by its title. Instead, it is more of lesson on how "God" doesn't cause bad things - humans do. If this a concept unfamiliar to you then you might find this book mind opening and perhaps relieving. On the other hand, if you already felt this way, then this book might seem a bit elementary and disappointing. However, I give this book four stars for two reasons. One, the author seems like the coolest rabbi around. He seems to "get" it - s...more

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May 20, 2010 Jenny rated it 5 of 5 stars

God is not all powerful. God does not inflict suffering. Suffering is not a divine means to punish, to test our faith, or to teach us a lesson. These ideas fly in the face of what most every believer has been taught, and the ideology that is embedded and reinforced by the Judeo-Christian folk religion of the larger society. And yet, read Rabbi Kusher's reasoning and you, too will gain a broader understanding of God and what it means to be human and to endure pain, suffering, and joy. I have come...more

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Sep 03, 2008 Skylar Burris rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: judaism

Rabbi Kushner's position is that, because suffering exists in the world, only three options are possible: (1) God does not exist. (2) God exists but is not good, or (3) God exists and is good but is not all-powerful. He chooses explanation (3). Explanation (4), that God exists, is good, and is all-powerful, but for reasons we cannot now fully comprehend, chooses to allow suffering, is not an option.

Despite its unsatisfying theology, I was reminded of three very important things from this book,...more

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Jan 03, 2008 Megan rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The best I can do to explain this book is to quote it:

"But if Man is truly free to choose, if he can show himself as being virtuous by freely choosing the good when the bad is equally possible, then he has to be free to choose the bad also. If he were only free to do good, he would not really be choosing. If we are bound to do good, then we are not free to choose it." Harold Kushner, p. 79.

I think a lot of things come down to choice. And this book explains it really well. I really liked this bo...more

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Feb 06, 2008 Mary Ann C rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Mary Ann by: Professor Tony Smith, University of Utah

Shelves: religious

First introduced to this book, by a professor of mine who taught a Child Life class. As part of the Child Life profession, we are forced to come to terms everyday about our beliefs on why children and families suffer so much pain that they don't seem to deserve.
This book has especially helped me these past 2 years as I've been in my own personal health crisis and struggling to understand how and why my life fell apart so hard and so fast. It provides wonderful insights about life's trials. Recom...more

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Aug 01, 2011 Jen added it

When Bad Things Happen to Good People, by Harold S. Kushner is one of those books that I’ve heard about for years, but discounted as popular self-help that I would never bother to read. I was wrong to judge it this way. Published in 1981, this book clearly has staying power for good reason.

I am fortunate enough to be able to read this small book without the specter of tragedy hanging over me, so I may not be able to judge the helpfulness of Kushner’s arguments as a person who has suffered might...more

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Mar 25, 2009 Karen Field rated it 5 of 5 stars

The byline of this book is “for everyone who has been hurt by life...”

The author, a rabbi by the name of Harold S Kushner, wrote this book because he had been hurt by life. His only son was born with progeria, “rapid aging”. His son died two days after his fourteenth birthday and When Bad Things Happen to Good People was the result of the pain and hurt the author felt. But, more importantly, it was the sharing of how his faith was tested to the extreme and the conclusions he made in the end that...more The byline of this book is “for everyone who has been hurt by life...”

The author, a rabbi by the name of Harold S Kushner, wrote this book because he had been hurt by life. His only son was born with progeria, “rapid aging”. His son died two days after his fourteenth birthday and When Bad Things Happen to Good People was the result of the pain and hurt the author felt. But, more importantly, it was the sharing of how his faith was tested to the extreme and the conclusions he made in the end that helped him carry on with life.

Not being much of a religious person, I was a little taken aback when I realised the direction the book was taking from the start. However, the author writes in a manner that is absorbing and touching and I found I couldn’t put the book down. More than once I felt that all familiar lump choke my throat and tears well in my eyes as I felt he was talking directly to me.

As I turned the pages I felt something stir within me. The fundamental message of this book is that God is not all powerful, He is not perfect and He is not to blame for bringing the bad things into our lives. He is not punishing us for things we have done wrong, He is not piling grief and sadness onto our shoulders because He thinks we can handle it and He is not sitting back looking down on the world enjoying what He is seeing.

Bad things happen to good people, bad people and indifferent people. No one is favoured, no one is spared. But it is not God’s doing. It’s just life and nature. God is there to help us through those bad times. He will give us the strength, perseverance and the courage we need. He will walk beside us and offer us comfort.

In order to let us be free, in order to let us be human, God has to leave us free to choose to do right or to do wrong. If we are not free to choose evil, then we are not free to choose good either. Like the animal, we can only be convenient or inconvenient, obedient or disobedient. We can no longer be moral, which means we can no longer be human.

~ Harold S Kushner ~

If God is not to blame, who is? I never blamed a God I wasn’t even sure existed when I lost my son to suicide. How could I blame God for that? I blamed myself for the loss of my son. To me, something I had done had bought this about, but When Bad Things Happen to Good People has helped me see that I’m not to blame either. I am not to blame! However, I can see how a mother of a child who dies from cancer might blame God. Or why the parents of a child who is handicapped feel as if they have been abandoned by God. These things are not fair and in the midst of pain and grief, we automatically want to blame someone for what has happened. This book helps the reader see that no one is to blame. Life is cruel and so is nature, but no one is to blame.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People helped me see that I shouldn’t be asking why this has happened to me. The simple fact is that it did happen and nothing I can do will change the fact that my son is gone. I have to stop asking why this happened and concentrate on how I will respond to what’s happened.

When bad things happen to people, some of those people turn bitter and nasty, others live a life feeling disappointed and unforgiving, and others can’t push the hurt aside. But this book has reminded me that although the world and its people are not perfect, and although it doesn’t always seem like it, there is great beauty and goodness to be found around us. All we have to do is forgive and love.(less)

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May 05, 2013 James Hecker rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recognized by many as a popular classic on the question of evil. It is not posed in that way but it describes the author's feelings that some times things just happen. It proposes the logic that God is omnipotent and the author of everything, therefore responsible for evil as well as good...or that bad things happen as part of a grandeur scheme that we cannot possibly understand being mere mortals, (in which case what a moral monster He must be), ...or that God has given us free will and having...more

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Feb 09, 2013 Deb rated it 4 of 5 stars

As part of my study of theodicy (reconciling God's goodness with the presence of evil and suffering) I knew I had to read this classic. Probably the most helpful part of this book was the recognition that when "bad things" happen, there is a lot of unhelpful crap that people will say. I should know. I've said the very phrases that Rabbi Kushner condemns. Ouch.

However, my basic theology disagrees with Rabbi Kushner in that I do not see God as being incapable of "controlling Creation" but rather t...more

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Feb 07, 2013 Keith Kendall rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: religion

This coming Sunday I will teach some young men the topic "Why do we have adversity?" This book is often mentioned regarding that topic. I've had a paperback copy of the book for years, but was not sure if I had ever read it. I intended to take along this book as a visual aid, but really, how can I take it and have nothing to say about it's contents. It is a short book, so I set out to read it tonight.

Having read it, I learned that the contents are much different than I had imagined. It does not...more This coming Sunday I will teach some young men the topic "Why do we have adversity?" This book is often mentioned regarding that topic. I've had a paperback copy of the book for years, but was not sure if I had ever read it. I intended to take along this book as a visual aid, but really, how can I take it and have nothing to say about it's contents. It is a short book, so I set out to read it tonight.

Having read it, I learned that the contents are much different than I had imagined. It does not give a simple canned answer, but reasons through the process. I will not try to replicate that path. It took the author 15 years to write the book (Page 132), and I can't hope to cover the territory he did. I can only make a few notes of things that felt meaningful to me.

Page 9 has some scriptures that promise good to the righteous and punishment to the wicked. Page 20 "For whom the Lord loves, He chastises, even as a father does to the son he loves." This leads to a lot of grief when we give that advice to people who just suffered a tragedy. I won't try to elaborate why it is harmful, but just to say that much of what we say when a person has had a tragedy is on the order of justifying God, and does not help the afflicted feel better.

We start to get to the heart of the matter "Would this be a better world, if certain people were immune to laws of nature because God favored them, while the rest of us had to fend for ourselves?" (Page 59)

"to be human ... means being free to make choices instead of doing whatever our instincts would tell us to do. It means knowing that some choices are good, and others are bad, and it is our job to know the difference. ... But if Man is truly free to choose, if he can show himself as being virtuous by freely choosing the good when the bad is equally possible, then he has to be free to choose the bad also. If he were only free to do good, he would not really be choosing. If we are bound to do good, then we are not free to choose it." (Page 79)

"To say of Hitler, to say of any criminal, that he did not choose to be bad but was a victim of his upbringing, is to make all morality, all discussion of right and wrong impossible. ... But worse, to say 'it is not his fault, he was not free to choose' is to rob a person of his humanity," (Page 83-84)

And here is the heart of the book: "Job needed sympathy more than he needed advice, even good and correct advice... He needed compassion, the ssense taht others felt his pain with him, more than he needed learned theological explanations about God's ways. He needed physical comforting, people sharing their strength with him, holding him rather than scolding him." (Page 89)

Page 110-112 contains a meaningful Chinese tale about a woman whose only son died. (English version of course.)

Like me, he has found that "telephone have a special, ominous way of ringing late at night," (Page 113)

"But people who pray for courage, for strength to bear the unbearable, for the grace to remember what they have left instead of what they have lost, very often find their prayers answered. ..." (Page 125)

"being against other people, setting out to find a villain, accusing other people of being responsible for your misery, only makes a lonely person lonelier. Life, he concluded, has to be lived for something, not just against something." (Page 137)
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Aug 17, 2012 Mary rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: anyone

Shelves: faith-spirit, own

Rediscovered on my book shelves. This is not my first copy which had been a library book when it was first published in 1981. This copy was used as assigned reading to classes of high school juniors studying morality and the nature of good and evil. It was a springboard for some incredible discussions about the meaning of life, responsibility and other questions which fascinate soul searching teenagers.
But it wasn't till 10 years after my first reading when my life fell apart that I really valu...more

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Apr 24, 2012 Margaret rated it 5 of 5 stars

I read this book when I was greiving the death of my husband. I was hurt, angry and was all alone - feeling abandoned by everyone, including God. A therapist jotted down "When Bad Things Happen to Good People", and I bought and read the book. I was still angry and said, but I want to know, "why"!

It wasn't until several years later that I could accept Rabbi Kushner's message that bad things will happen to all of us at some time in our lives, but it's how we receive and process that event that wil...more

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Jun 07, 2011 David rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book has a religious structure, but it’s absent the kind of proselytizing that not only is of no interest to me but often makes me bristle with antagonism. In fact, the author takes a number of well deserved potshots at conventional religious pretense. With religion, Kushner says one question really matters: why do good people suffer? Actually, this is a question that has plagued not only theologians, but philosophers and regular folks throughout history. You don’t have to be a theologian o...more This book has a religious structure, but it’s absent the kind of proselytizing that not only is of no interest to me but often makes me bristle with antagonism. In fact, the author takes a number of well deserved potshots at conventional religious pretense. With religion, Kushner says one question really matters: why do good people suffer? Actually, this is a question that has plagued not only theologians, but philosophers and regular folks throughout history. You don’t have to be a theologian or philosophizer to find yourself asking, “Why me?” when you’re getting screwed for no apparent fault of your own. Kushner then proceeds to examine conventional answers religions and religious people commonly offer. These typically include the following: (1) God is punishing you for something, (2) God is testing you, or (3) it’s all part of some divine plan that is often beyond your mortal comprehension. He notes that these justifications are often followed up with fictitious assertions such as “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” or “These are hidden blessing that will make you strong.” Kushner politely refers to these reasons as “unsatisfying” and explains how such answers are often inconsiderate and can leave any thinking person asking why they should buy in to this weak, audaciously bogus belief system, or even stirs hostile feelings toward their chosen Supreme Being. I have to give Kushner credit for his honest, forthright approach and for making this intellectual margin call. His own answer is not one that makes victims of ill-fate feel much better but is infinitely more credible. He points the finger at pure randomness. Bad things sometimes happen for no good reason and God can’t do anything about it. Kushner tells us that God is imperfect and limited by natural laws. I don’t think conventional religion can’t acquiesce to the idea that God is not omnipotent. He goes on to say that prayers asking God to intercede with natural events are misguided and doomed to failure. Here again, organized religion and most believers don’t want to believe this. They don’t want to accept the idea their God may have limited power or that their prayers have no currency for divine intervention. This all leads to the inevitable question, “What good, then, is religion?” which is the title of the book’s final chapter. The obvious answer is “none.” But this is where Kushner’s intellectual honesty comes to Judgment Day, because that’s not an answer that an ordain man of God can man up to. His answer, effectively, is that religion is a useful and compassionate crutch, and that prayer is a way of opening your heart to external support when you can’t find it in yourself. And he also makes the observation that, “Love is not the admiration of perfection, but the acceptance of an imperfect person with all his imperfections, because loving and accepting him makes us better and stronger.” With regard to the original ultimate question, Kushner gives sound, non-secular advice--when bad things happen, the question we should be asking is not, “Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?” That is really an unanswerable, pointless question. A better question would be “Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?”

One other item having nothing much to do with the thesis but of particular interest to me in my broader studies was Kushner’s observation that people seem to seek order and equilibrium in the affairs of man. We want life to balance—good deeds to be rewarded and bad deeds to be punished, hard work to pay off and laziness not. We want the world to be orderly and predictable. As far as I can tell, we don’t yet really know to what extent it works out this way, and we are inclined to be fooled by randomness. The existence of a God is agreeable to us because He would fulfill this need we have for order. Religion’s pat answers to why we suffer are not offered because they hold up to scrutiny, but because they impose a vision of the world that we desperately want to believe. The balance sheet of our universe and the distribution of intangibles is unknown and unexplored, and goes begging for inquiring minds.
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Dec 04, 2009 Jane rated it 4 of 5 stars

Have long heard about Harold Kushner, and have often heard him quoted during sermons at churches, but had never read any of his works firsthand. Thought of reading this now, as we are trying to help Gordon's parents come to terms with their essential incapacitation at relatively young ages. (Of course, everything seems younger to me now!) I could appreciate Kushner's perspective on bad things; to sum, he encourages us to not blame God, to not be jealous of other's relative good fortune, and, whe...more

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Feb 19, 2012 Kate rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: child-loss, religion

The main problem I have with this book is the idea that the world is good and getting better and that good things outweigh they bad. He describes tragedies as a rarity. I'm not sure of that at all, particularly not in other places in the world. In terms of religion, he feels that God does not cause bad things or wish bad things on people, but can be a solace when they happen. I flagged a quote that summarized his position "I can worship a God who hates suffering but cannot eliminate it more easi...more

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Sep 08, 2011 JoAnn rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: religious, 2011

I agree with the basic premise of the book, that bad things happen because of the imperfect world we live in and the freedom of each of us to choose. I disagree with his belief that God is imperfect and this imperfection limits his ability to spare us suffering.
What a blessing to have a knowledge of the plan of salvation. To know our perfect Father in Heaven is in charge, but is limited by eternal laws, laws that make us free to choose liberty and eternal life through Christ, or spiritual death....more

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Dec 03, 2010 Leah rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: for-educational-purposes, 3-stars

Why do bad things happen to good people?

There's not really an answer to that question as far as I know. Well, at least not one that is accepted by everyone. There are many ways to explain the bad things that happen to good people but, is there really any reason that is going to offer someone comfort when they lose someone they love? I don't think so. These many theories are addressed and explored by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner in When Bad Things Happen to Good People.

Now, I would be lying if I said...more Why do bad things happen to good people?

There's not really an answer to that question as far as I know. Well, at least not one that is accepted by everyone. There are many ways to explain the bad things that happen to good people but, is there really any reason that is going to offer someone comfort when they lose someone they love? I don't think so. These many theories are addressed and explored by Rabbi Harold S. Kushner in When Bad Things Happen to Good People.

Now, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't religiously affronted at some of the points Kushner made. As a believer, I was insulted by the some of the claims he felt it was acceptable to make, claims that I don't think he even fully believes. However, they were ideas to be considered, and Kushner definitely presents many philosophical questions that can make you take a second look at your faith.

One thing, I didn't like about this book was that Kushner used so many examples. Sometimes I felt like all the stories he was telling either had no relevance to what he was talking about or they were overkill, and that was when I started getting a little bored.

Also, I think that some of the reactions he suggested that we should have are highly illogical and not likely to happen. Here's one example:

It would be equally improper for a high school senior, holding a letter from a college admissions office, to pray, "Please God, let it be an acceptance"

As a high school senior who has applied to colleges and done this very thing before opening my acceptance letters, I can tell you that this reaction is never going to stop. Kushner can tell us that it's illogical to do this because this prayer is not going to change whether it is an acceptance or rejection letter, but high school seniors all around the world are going to continue to do this for years to come. It's an instinctual reaction.

The last thing I want to comment on is the used of the word "retarded" when referring to mentally disabled children. I find that word offensive when referring to people with mental disabilities. There is nothing they can do about disabilities but that doesn't make them "retarded." I think that one reason that this really struck a chord with me is because I recently attended a "seminar" at school about children with Down's Syndrome, during which two women who have children with the disability talked to us. During the seminar, they talked to us about their children and it touched a special place inside of me, leaving a mark. Mentally disabled people aren't retarded, so please don't refer to them that way.

Overall, this was a good book. I never would have taken the time out to read it on my own time, but reading it for school was a good experience, I suppose. It certainly made me think about certain things and, while I may not exactly agree with Kushner, I can try to appreciate his point of view.(less)

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Jul 14, 2011 Holly rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: religious

I only finished this book by Rabi Kushner because I truly wanted to understand the author's position and therefore that of thousands in this world. I enjoyed his logical methodical manner of understanding trials and God's role, there are some points I agree with.
1. God follows the rules and laws of nature.
2. Many bad things happen because of the nature of the world.
3. God is deeply saddened by the pain and cruelty of the world.

However, I heartily disagree with a few main points. Here are some o...more

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Mar 27, 2012 Elaine rated it 4 of 5 stars

An old book that I never read until my friend Maureen Stemmelen lent it to me last weekend. She had just come from the Unitarian Meeting House and checked out some books, because Walter's dad, Irving, was dying. She said she had read it when she was a Speech Pathology student and found it enriching.

I had avoided reading it in the past, fearing it was "preachy". It is a bit, but in a good way. He speaks from sad personal experience. His 14 year old son died from progeria, a disease of premature a...more

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Dec 18, 2011 Peter rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

In all honesty, this is probably my favorite book of this sort. And when I say this sort, I guess I'm talking about the type of book that tries to make religious sense out of our psychotic, awesome world. And I guess that includes The Bible and The Book of Mormon, as well. That statement will sound heretical to some and actually be so to others, but this book just makes sense, to me. I have never read a religiously based book--albeit I have not read many--that makes logical sense and which provi...more

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Mar 19, 2009 Walter rated it 2 of 5 stars

I am disappointed to say that I was disappointed by this book. I have known it for decades as a classic, yet had not read it. Upon discovering the 20th anniversary edition, I took the plunge. It was like diving into an unheated pool ... not in a refreshing way, more like a bracing one. Although several parts of the book were quite moving, I found it to be quite uneven and its author prone to what I call relativism (by which I mean that he so often prescribes the scope of the divine as to bleed o...more

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Sep 12, 2011 Jerome Baladad rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I finished this book while on the background I could hear the reading of the names of those who perished in the 9/11 horrific events on TV during its 10th anniversary. I was also wondering why this book has remained to be among my bestsellers in my online bookstore via Amazon.com (I must have sold 3 copies of this book, which got me curious and made me start reading and finishing the book). Actually, the book's a wonderful 'moving on' material, which didn't occur to me until after I finished rea...more I finished this book while on the background I could hear the reading of the names of those who perished in the 9/11 horrific events on TV during its 10th anniversary. I was also wondering why this book has remained to be among my bestsellers in my online bookstore via Amazon.com (I must have sold 3 copies of this book, which got me curious and made me start reading and finishing the book). Actually, the book's a wonderful 'moving on' material, which didn't occur to me until after I finished reading it.

Those of you who are religious or have different faiths other than Judaism may not exactly like the idea of hearing from the experiences of a Rabbi who wrote this book. He wrote the book because he wanted to understand reasons behind having a son who was born to his family but died so soon because of 'progeria,' which is an affliction causing one to die so quickly because those afflicted get so old fast than most of us normal people undergo. I hope that description made some sense, just like what this book says about randomness and other difficult-to-explain events that happen to people. But more about the book, the Rabbi Harold S. Kushner has expounded on areas in life (that we would rather not discuss about normally, i.e., issues that really matter to our hearts and inner minds), which thoughts would be helpful to those among us who will be undergoing difficult, really rough situations in life (there's no running away from them, it seems).

I won't share here (nor summarize) his 'tips' as they're not exactly tips, nor are they not exactly 'how-to's.' Life's too precious to be just listed down into these brief words you may be reading here. It's not exactly a book about how-to-lead a more convenient lifestyle, despite all the hassles and challenges thrown our way. Suffice it to say that the book's very much worth reading and learning from, if you will find the time to get distracted from your varied activities. It's a good tool to help you listen very well the next time something grave happens with someone you know and [s]he would like to share you something about it.

This last copy I got actually came from the estate of someone who died from AIDs complications --- I knew the story from second hand sources. But I could understand why he would be reading this book (he died in the early 90s here in NYC). He must have wanted to somehow understand his situation; I like to imagine that now as I ponder on the book's merits. I may have to keep this one for myself but then again I think I can provide some help to others out there if I offer it again on my bookstore. Get one for your reading leisure - it may come handy one of these days. Or you may start by reading the story of Job in the Bible to gain a perspective on the story that's being mentioned and discussed in this book. (less)

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Apr 19, 2010 Denise rated it 4 of 5 stars

Bad things happen to good people everyday. Bad things happen to all people and life often seems very unfair. The author of this book is a rabbi who experienced tragedy first hand when his son died at age 14. Kushner explores many of the ways that people try to understand why terrible things happen to their loved ones. His conclusion is that God is not the cause of human suffering on earth. God feels badly for his children when they suffer, but He cannot stop the earthquakes or storms or cancers...more

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Jan 26, 2009 Leslie rated it 3 of 5 stars

In reading this book, I was reminded vividly how different faith-righteousness is from work-righteousness. It is full of pragmatic wisdom for people dealing with tragedy in a world they expect to conform to their own views of justice.

I do think that bad things happen to everybody, and that who we are is defined in how we respond to those tragedies. I think our lives are a dialogue with God about our salvation, and part of that is worked out in our turning towards or away from him. The major pro...more

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May 12, 2013 Scottnshana rated it 4 of 5 stars

I received this book from a good friend at a particularly difficult part of my life. The author, a rabbi who each morning has to wake up to the reminder that he has outlived one of his children (who succumbed at an early age to a rare disease), has delved into the book of Job (in the original Hebrew) to make sense of this loss as well as other terrible events like the Holocaust. He analyzes Job passage by passage--looking at the visitors who attempt to comfort him, his cries to God for an explan...more

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May 22, 2013 Gordon rated it 3 of 5 stars

I picked this up because it is considered a classic of the spiritual genre. It is an eloquent call for people (relatives, neighbors, friends)to rally around those affected by tragedy and other problems to support them in community. From that point of view this is a valuable book.

From a God point of view this book is big disappointment. What the difference is between Kushner's description of God and there being no God is beyond me. I don't think that this is a typical Jewish view of God and the H...more

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Oct 20, 2010 Nancy rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, owned, read-in-2010

Kushner has written a thoughtful book, inspired by the illness and subsequent death at 14 of his son, Aaron. The book, bolstered by many real life anecdotes, forced me to think about many things, including why bad things happen to good people. I like the idea that God doesn't control everything and that tragedies and hurts are not punishments. God is dismayed by these happenings, also. I can accept that "some things happen for no reason, and that there is randomness in the universe." (46)

On jeal...more

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Dec 10, 2012 Shari Johnson rated it 5 of 5 stars

Someone recommended this book to me after my younger sister (age 33) was killed by a car that no-one was driving. The 18 year old owner of the car had forgotten to put her car in park, left it in neutral and ran in to her house. My sister, who had never hurt a flea, mother of 2 young children never saw or heard the car coming. The day before this tragedy she had qualified for the Boston Marathon. Needless to say, I was completely devastated by these events. And I was ANGRY! Not at the girl who's...more

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Sep 21, 2011 Heather Leipart rated it 4 of 5 stars

Well this book is good encouragement during hard times and impresses the fact that we are not alone in human suffering. Too often it seems the act of living often means experiencing pain. There seems to be seasons of our life that are more difficult than others and author Harold Kishner puts this all in perspective. He is a Jewish Rabbi who had a child die of a terrible disease, Progeria, and so offers a unique perspective on God and our response to Him. I especially thought it funny and had a g...more

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About Harold S. Kushner

Harold S. Kushner is rabbi laureate of Temple Israel in the Boston suburb of Natick, Massachusetts. A native of Brooklyn, New York, he is the author of more than a dozen books on coping with life’s challenges, including, most recently, the best-selling Conquering Fear and Overcoming Life’s Disappointments.

More about Harold S. Kushner...

Books by Harold S. Kushner

How Good Do We Have to Be?: A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness

To Life: A Celebration of Jewish Being and Thinking

Living a Life That Matters: Resolving the Conflict between Conscience and Success

The Lord Is My Shepherd: Healing Wisdom of the Twenty-third Psalm

When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough: The Search for a Life That Matters

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