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Mar 06, 2008

Lauren rated it:

I bought this book, as well as 4 other parenting books, so that I could compare a bunch of different theories and techniques and decide what spoke to me.

I found it interesting and there was plenty that was useful, however there was a lot that I didn't agree with. I think that there are a lot of responses to children that they call "Logical consequences" that I call punishment all dressed up in disguise. I don't know how this couldn't come across as inauthentic to childr More...

2 comments like (9 people liked it)

Feb 19, 2008

Beth rated it:

I have mixed feelings about this book.

Here’s what I liked about this book:

* The emphasis on consequences. It makes sense that, in order to learn about the real world, children should be allowed to experience consequences (within reason) so they can alter their behavior. And consequences cannot be given unless choices are also offered, within reason. I agree with that, too.

* Also, I loved that they pointed out several times how important it is to model More...

2 comments like (6 people liked it)

Oct 27, 2008

Carmelle rated it:

In all fairness, had I written this review a couple weeks ago immediately after I read it, I probably would have given this book 3 stars. But since then, the points of contention for me have continued to annoy me, therefor Jim and Foster, I bestow only 2 little stars for you. I realize this book has great following and is perhaps the "Child Raising Bible" to many, however, I obviously was not sold.
The premise of this book is that children learn from mistakes. The natural conseque More...

0 comments like (2 people liked it)

Jan 15, 2009

Michael rated it:

I don't rate many books with 5 stars, so you can bet this one is good. Gail and I have used these techniques and we were amazed at the children's response. Don't get me wrong, it's way easier to yell at your kids and smack them upside the head. But, if you want to actually get through to your kids and teach them the skills they will need to make appropriate decisions throughout their lives, this book will change yours. It was recommended to us by our pediatrician and had proven to be one of More...

3 comments like (3 people liked it)

Apr 20, 2011

Rebecca rated it:

This book is my dad: the calm and sometimes slightly sadistic way he let us experience the consequences of our choices, the kind of detached but sympathetic stance ("Gee, I hope you work that out! Good luck!")even the unsubtle brainwashing-by-intentional-overhearing, i.e. "Gee, washing dishes is sure fun! La-dee-da! I bet YOU wish you were washing some dishes right now!"

It is an interesting read, if a teensy bit 50's father-knows-bestish, and a smidge alarmist abou More...

2 comments like (1 person liked it)

May 12, 2008

Holly rated it:

There are a lot of great techniques in this book, but some that I question. It seems that the object of L&L parenting is to be constantly teaching the child a lesson. I think that sometimes going out of your way to "teach them a lesson" is artificial and even on occasion harsh. I think about the way our Father in Heaven would parent us. He allows us to suffer the consequences of our mistakes but doesn't "rub it in", or set us up for failure.

Having listened to More...

3 comments like (3 people liked it)

Aug 06, 2007

Aspidistra rated it:

I am not a fan of this book although I see that there are many useful concepts therein. The book is frequently recommended for parents adopting older children, but the whole tone of the book put me off. The authors seem to take pleasure in the ways they've invented to show children the natural consequences of misbehaviors. It's very meanspirited.

For post-institutionalized kids in particular, the whole concept of "natural consequences" may not even make sense to them at a More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Apr 11, 2009

Louisa rated it:

This book sat on my shelves for a number of years until I recently discovered it. It makes sense and better yet it works!

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Feb 08, 2012

Carissa rated it:

Overall, I liked most aspects of "Parenting With Love and Logic." I liked the idea of giving children more freedom to choose. I agree that the consequences of making mistakes and failing when we're younger cost less than when we're older. Although I did think that some of the examples were a little extreme (i.e. waiting until the family dog is malnourished and it's ribs are showing before doing something about it). Also, as a wife of a school teacher, I'm not too sure about letting More...

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Dec 06, 2011

Carolyn rated it:

Read this one when Ben was a baby and remember thinking at the time that it would be a good re-read when Ben was older. Well, here I am with an 8 year old so it was good to revisit. I found as I read that I had incorporated quite a bit from this book - mostly giving kids' choices as an easy and not demanding way to get things done. The book inspires me to think creatively on the topic of discipline.

Here's what I didn't like:
1) It's written by men who weren't stay at home parents. More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Sep 22, 2011

Hilary rated it:

There is part of me that loved this book and part that didn't. I needed a book like this right now because I feel like all I do all day is demand good behavior and give threats for misbehavior. That is not working for me at all! One Love and Logic idea is that you can't change your child's behavior. You can't force your child to do what you say. However, you can change the location. "This yelling is hurting my ears. Please go downstairs if you are going to do that." You can als More...

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Oct 31, 2010

Gina rated it:

Parenting books are so particular to what you are experiencing and struggling with at the moment as a parent. This just didn't fit my need right now, I guess, and I didn't love it. It did give me a few new ways to think about situations with my kids, and overall I like the approach of letting kids fully own their decisions and their consequences. But there were just some model dialogues that seemed so ridiculously unrealistic when I thought about applying them with my kids, and some that seemed More...

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Aug 18, 2010

Tara rated it:

For the most part, I liked the ideas presented. In real world application, I am pretty sure I will struggle, but I think it could help in the end. I wanted to take notes on the main ideas so I could quickly refer to them. Here they are:

*Allow child to fail.
-Significant Learning Opportunities (SLO's)
*Build Self-Concept
- Love unconditionally
- Let child know they have skills/abilities to succeed
*parents mod More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Jul 12, 2010

Christine rated it:

This book advocates parenting methods that, if followed, could in some cases amount to child abuse/neglect. For example, the book suggests that if a two-year-old doesn't behave appropriately at dinner, the parents should deny him food until morning. The authors also suggest that if a 6-month-old throws his bottle, the parents should withhold it until the next meal! At least one thing advocated by the authors is actually illegal. They assert that it is the child's problem (not the parents' pr More...

0 comments like (3 people liked it)

Jun 12, 2010

Marissa rated it:

There are lots of good ideas in this book--like being calm and empathetic when disciplining children, progressively allowing kids more control over their lives, and giving choices (e.g. "Do you want to eat dinner nicely or do you want to play on the living room floor?").

Some of the "natural consequences" scenarios are pretty convoluted, though--like the one where the mom lets her kid oversleep for school and then tells him she can't drive him to school because sh More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Oct 27, 2009

Kelly rated it:

I will read this book again and again. I have already read it about three times and I love it. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to find an effective way to raise their children to be responsible, respectful, and caring. I love how they go about using love and logic in parenting because if you apply what they teach it is a win-win situation. By being consistent with your approach to everyday problems that comes with being a parent will learn responsibility and the logic of life by solvi More...

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May 16, 2009

Emily rated it:

This was a good book to add to my "arsenal" of parenting skills. I've heard wonderful things about it. It was very similar to the last parenting book I read, "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours." I found that book a little easier to understand and implement than this one. I LOVED that it focused on modeling good behavior, ditched the lecturing, and a especially wonderful thing to me-gave me the liberty to take time with my responses to naughty behavior. This book, More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Jun 20, 2011

Colette rated it:

So, I've read several books on discipline (1-2-3 Magic, Positive Discipline, etc) but this one was a little different. I liked a lot of the ideas presented in the book, but didn't necessarily agree with or buy into all their thinking (for example, their claim that encouragement is better than praise because it forces a child to self-evaluate...a little shaky IMHO...I like to load up on honest, heartfelt praise and feel like something would be missing if I only gave encouragement).

More...

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Dec 05, 2009

Christine rated it:

This is one of the only parenting books that I could stand to read all the way through. It's realistic in speaking to real parents who have real children and not expecting perfection from either side. I appreciate that. While some of the examples feel a bit forced to me, I think the concepts are sound. Much of the meat of the book is about letting kids own their problems and experience the natural consequences of bad decisions so they learn to think for themselves. The part that most life c More...

0 comments like

Dec 23, 2010

Kristina rated it:

This book encourages parents to be mean, authoritarian and bordering on abusive. It advises parents run a boot camp for their children to learn to be responsible using trickery and sarcasm. I suspect this book appeals to those with certain values different from mine, and I feel sorry for their children. Much of the language encouraged by the book was disrespectful towards the children. For instance, ina demonstration, without warning the mom gave away a girl's puppy because she wasn't taking car More...

0 comments like (1 person liked it)

Mar 24, 2009

Anne rated it:

I can't bring myself to read a book like this more than about once a year, but this was a learning experience for me. I'm all about the idea that you want your kids to have a value system and view of themselves that comes from within, rather than living to please (or control) dominant figures in their lives, and I think this book does a good job of teaching that. I'm also all about letting kids learn to fail when it's safe for them so they can learn to be responsible--and learn that I'm on their More...

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Jun 26, 2008

Darci rated it:

There are some great things in this book, and also some weird things. Use your logic and what works for you. We should always speak to our children with love and understanding, being careful not to use sarcasm - which this book seems to use sometimes, but perhaps they don't mean it that way.... And I disagree with their ideas that seemed to use manipulation. Great concept of learning from consequences - of course, and also learning from example (ours).

1 comment like (1 person liked it)

Jan 29, 2012

Alicia added it

It's hard to rate this book with stars. We have been a 1, 2, 3, Magic family for years, but it has been years since I've read that book and brushed up on the philosophy. I decided we needed something to try to improve the way we interact with each other during stressful times such as tough homework days, getting out the door on time, crabby bedtimes etc. We've implemented some of the ideas in the book in the past couple of days with our kids and met with success. Although I agree overall wit More...

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Oct 19, 2011

Erin rated it:

I like the idea of natural consequences. But here's the problem: many of my issues do not have natural consequences, such as my daughter's constant picking up of my 1 year old. CONSTANT! According to the authors, I would devise a consequence then call it a natural consequence: if you pick him up again, you will go to your room, make it up, etc. etc. etc. But that's not a consequence, that's a punishment.

There was also no description of child development. Without knowing what is More...

5 comments like

Jun 03, 2009

Arshia rated it:

I was so excited when my sister told me about this book, because I thought great there would be some techniques I could use with my kids and initially I did and some that I still do, but to be honest, parenting is such a difficult job. Every child and every situation is different, that not all the tactics can be used. I found that many of their suggestions and tips would be better applied to teenagers. But as any parent will say, it's all about being consistent and that's the most challenging More...

0 comments like

Jun 17, 2010

Maria rated it:

This is definitely a how-to parenting book. Its subtitle is "Teaching Children Responsibility" and it has some good ideas of how to do that. It also talks about the difference between praise and encouragement, and describes how false praise can lead to disrespect.

The 2nd half of the book is filled with their Pearls of Wisdom, each chapter's discusses one parenting issue (Discipline, Fighting, Lying, Pet Care) with suggestions of how to handle it. Some of these are right-on More...

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May 31, 2009

Kate rated it:

I thought this book was okay. I agree with the principles - I think kids SHOULD make their own decisions and think for themselves, but I felt the execution of the principles was a little off. Most of the mock dialogue in the book came across as sarcastic and unfeeling. There were also a lot of gimmicks - some of which would be very traumatic for my kids. Like locking them in their rooms if their tantrums get really bad. Wow, you know?

In one chapter, the authors emphasized that you c More...

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Apr 03, 2010

Jen rated it:

I read this after taking a grad class on Teaching with Love and Logic. The discipline strategies discussed in class seemed to echo the way we parent, plus we have several friends who use this method. Reading this book was interesting. I agreed with the theory -- raise responsible children by setting enforceable limits, giving them acceptable choices, and allowing them to learn from their mistakes by responding with empathy and natural consequences. However, I had a hard time with the second More...

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Apr 30, 2010

Sarah rated it:

It was a little overly religious for my taste (the parenting tips only apply to Christians? Jews or atheists can't use them?) but there were a lot of good ideas. Some of the logical consequences seemed a bit extreme--I'm not going to let my kid hit other kids and wait for someone to clean her clock to teach her a lesson--but most of the advice seemed very reasonable. I particularly like the emphasis on leaving anger out of it. I've tried it with my daughter, and I like the idea that the conseque More...

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Jun 28, 2011

Ashley rated it:

I didn't read the whole book, just the first couple chapters, then I skimmed through the rest.

Some things I really liked and am trying to use:

*Giving choices. I agree that kids should be able to choose whenever possible rather than me telling them what to do: "What do you want to do first: Go to the bathroom or get your shoes on?". That's easy enough, and then they fight it a little less.

*Choosing consequences that fit the mistake. Hard to do, but More...

4 comments like (1 person liked it)

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