The Feminine Mystique

Sep 14, 2010 El rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: cultural-studies-and-other, late20th-centurylit, permanent-collection, hear-me-roar

Ladies, the next time you decide you don't want to cook dinner that night, that you'd rather read a book instead... I want you to give a little fist-bump to the heavens in honor of Betty Friedan. It's because of her that you even have that opportunity to make that choice.

Let's clear something up right now - The Feminine Mystique is not a text on how to become a man-hating, radical, hairy-armpitted lesbian. If that's what you think this is about, my review isn't going to change your mind so you m...more

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Dec 30, 2012 Beth marked it as to-read · review of another edition

Putting this on my re-read list. I have changed a lot since reading it in college. Updated review pending.

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Jul 26, 2012 Terry rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: women-s-history

Reading this book is bittersweet for me. Every sentence, every paragraph, every chapter, I'm cheering Friedan on. At first, I kept thinking, "If only I'd read this when I was a teenager in the early 1970s, it would have saved me a lot of grief--the years I spent looking for men to save me, to give me an identity. If I'd read it back then, maybe I would have recognized the wretched inequalities in my world." The book so clearly depicts the ideals of my mother and of many women of her generation (...more

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Oct 11, 2007 Jennie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

i don't think i've ever seen the word "beatnikery" in print before.....

i think the reason to read this book is to gain an understanding of feminism in the mid-century Zietgiest. It gave me some things to think about, despite being hopelessly outdated and terribly repetitive. i was particularly intrigued by the idea that manufacturers would want to keep women bored and at home in order to sell them more consumer goods. As a full-time "career woman" (in Ms. Friedan's parlance) i find i can still...more

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Apr 25, 2007 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read this book at a time when I had no clue what my next move would be. Newly married, on a leave of absence from law school, I fanatasized that my life would be so much easier if I could stay home and raise some babies while contributing to my family through domestic projects, like growing organic produce, composting, sewing our clothes, etc. Simultaneously, I found that my relationship with my partner was made more difficult. I was irritable when he came home from work, I lacked motivation t...more

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Aug 25, 2008 carolime rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

required reading for feminists, i've been told. for me, it was helpful to read this in light of my recent life changes-- i think that the past failures of society towards women should be a learning opportunity for me.

that said, it is important to note that the book was written in 1963 and the "women" it seeks to represent are mostly white, mid- to upper-class, living in prosperous cities and suburbs in the northeast. it isn't an exhaustive cataloguing of ills! i consider it merely an expository...more required reading for feminists, i've been told. for me, it was helpful to read this in light of my recent life changes-- i think that the past failures of society towards women should be a learning opportunity for me.

that said, it is important to note that the book was written in 1963 and the "women" it seeks to represent are mostly white, mid- to upper-class, living in prosperous cities and suburbs in the northeast. it isn't an exhaustive cataloguing of ills! i consider it merely an expository tool to unveil what was happening among this subset of women at that time. no one knew, or had any way of understanding the malaise of most housewives of this era. and now we do!

of course no one should take her statistics and advice word-for-word as an effective gameplan for modern women. i am interested though, what friedan might think about the ills plaguing more recent generations.

is the feminine mystique just as potent today? has it been altered somehow? an interesting element of the book is her use of the word "sex" where most modern writers would use the word "gender." the connotations of "sex" over "gender" do really suggest that women were imprisoned by their biology. society told them to revel in their inherent femaleness, which friedan argues is "oversexed." fast forward 40 years in the future-- people are still arguing that women are "oversexed", but in a different way! these days, teenage girls are eager to dress up, to attain their ultimate sexuality. however, today's "ultimate sexuality"; is it tougher and more free than 1960s social mores? or is it just as limiting? an example of the former is quentin tarantino's "deathproof" where the stuntgirls avenge their femininity. counter that to... the recent batman movie, the black night. a stunning dearth of interesting or even heroic female roles. the only woman in the movie dies halfway through, AND her most important role in the film was to pick which of the main males she would grace with her hand in marriage. this reeks of feminine mystique.(less)

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Sep 08, 2009 Lisa rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Housewives.

What struck me the most when I read this as a teenager (and this was the first of its genre I read) was how, in excruciatingly familiar detail, it described my mother. God rest her soul, I didn't appreciate it at the time and it didn't make me any less of a brat. Her life had been a life typical of many women that entered the workforce during WWII. Instead of marrying when the war ended, she stayed on and attained a position of prominence for a woman at that time. She married very late, at age 2...more

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Apr 03, 2012 Rae M. rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, american-lit, feminism, classics, history, from-library, 05-stars, favorites-all-time, review-or-comment, must-reads, read-in-2012

This should be required reading for everyone, male or female, young or old. I was floored by how relevant it is to modern society, even though I'm that feminist that's pretty distressed by women who say "I'm not a feminist" and especially "I'm not a feminist because I think the feminist movement's work is done." I originally picked it up as a place to start in feminist reading, something to brief me on the background of feminism, and wasn't expecting it to have much to offer a modern feminist, b...more This should be required reading for everyone, male or female, young or old. I was floored by how relevant it is to modern society, even though I'm that feminist that's pretty distressed by women who say "I'm not a feminist" and especially "I'm not a feminist because I think the feminist movement's work is done." I originally picked it up as a place to start in feminist reading, something to brief me on the background of feminism, and wasn't expecting it to have much to offer a modern feminist, but reading a book published in the 1960s and seeing how relevant it is in 2012 is a pretty good wake up call. Yeah, career women aren't demonized (though I have seen women called "heartless" for having careers and not being stay at home moms... hmm, perhaps the Mystique remains a little more than we think?) and it's possible for women to have careers and progress in said careers, but there's just so much in here that rings true. How come my family members are always pestering me about getting married and having kids? Because that's all we're supposed to want as women, careers and interests are secondary. It might not be as prevalent and as forced as in the 60s, but it's definitely there in the disguise of concerned family members wanting you to get on the "road to happiness". (by the way, this book has a pretty good summary of pre-1960s feminist movement that I was looking for. Mostly in the section talking about the stereotypes of feminists, but a good quick overview that's a pretty good place to start from, I think.)

The only part I'll disagree with is the little bit on homosexuality of men, which is briefly mentioned around page 260-270ish, which claims that men turn to homosexuality as a product of overbearing mothers and not being allowed to mature, therefore gay people are actually immature persons. No. Sorry. I mean this is from the 1960s and about feminism, not gay rights, so I really shouldn't expect too much, but I couldn't help being disappointed by that little segment, and kind of wish Betty Friedan hadn't mentioned it at all. (less)

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Feb 14, 2009 Moxie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I picked up this book on a whim because its one of those books that we all know played an important part in the women's movement. But, having grown up a generation after the women's movement began, I always sort of felt like there wouldn't be a whole lot in there that I didn't already know or hadn't already heard. I have to say, though, I learned quite a bit.

It is a dense book with very long chapters and therefore is not a quick read. And although there is a little bit of repetitiveness, you can...more I picked up this book on a whim because its one of those books that we all know played an important part in the women's movement. But, having grown up a generation after the women's movement began, I always sort of felt like there wouldn't be a whole lot in there that I didn't already know or hadn't already heard. I have to say, though, I learned quite a bit.

It is a dense book with very long chapters and therefore is not a quick read. And although there is a little bit of repetitiveness, you can tell Friedan was really trying to drive home the point rather than simply filling the pages with the repetitiveness. All in all though, it is a very good reading experience. It was fascinating hearing her perceptions of the world she was living in all the while having the perspective of just how much things have changed since this book was written in 1963. And I learned a lot about the women’s movement that I hadn’t really appreciated before.

For example, I always had understood the fight for women’s equality to be about womens' right to choose their own destiny–whether that was being simply a wife and mother (the archetypal “housewife”) or a dedicated career woman or both. I thought that the fight against being “just housewives” was more a reaction to the fact that was, at the time, the only acceptable role for women. But reading this book, filled with her dedicated research, I realized she was making a deeper point than that. The point is that being “just a housewife”, if your intellectual capacity requires more, is never an acceptable choice, even if you think you are making that choice of your own free will.

Her theory is that failing to fully live up to your potential and letting your intellectual capacities slid does serious damage to your ability to grow and develop as a human adult. Her argument then concludes that this personal failure to fully develop has wide-ranging effects on your family, your children, and your society as a whole. Of course, men's intellectual development has not typically been arrested at early levels like women's development has.

The kind of ideal woman she describes is the kind who makes an effort to develop herself intellectually, to fully discover who she is, and is therefore a much happier and fulfilled wife and mother when she does take on the traditionally ‘feminine” roles in society. And I have to say, if my group of female friends are any indication, I think she’s right. The women I know fit that framework and are the happier for it, which would not have been possible (or at least not socially acceptable) even just a generation ago.

The bottom line: It’s worth the effort. Read it. Even those of us who have benefitted from her hard work and no longer face the uphill challenges she discusses in the book can gain a new perspective and appreciation of just how far women have come and how much farther we still need to go.(less)

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Jul 05, 2008 Elizabeth rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gender-studies

So Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique is to feminism as Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring is to environmentalism: works that defined a movement and changed the world so profoundly that the worlds described within them seem alien to my modern eyes.

Some things, of course, haven’t changed: the feminine mystique (that is, societal pressure to be “feminine”) is alive and well: girls experience more pressure to be pretty than to be smart, there is no social stigma to claim your occupation as “housewife...more

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Mar 16, 2009 Billy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 20th-century-1960s, comparative-women-and-gender

In the context of the 1960s, perhaps no work was more influential in influencing the woman’s movement and 2nd wave feminism than Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique. This book, written by a self-proclaimed house maker, exposed the series of beliefs “that trapped Middle Class suburban women for whom extra income was not an economic necessity but a choice about identity and self-development.” (2) Post War, women were encouraged to be mothers and wives, not professionals. Yet at the same time, mo...more In the context of the 1960s, perhaps no work was more influential in influencing the woman’s movement and 2nd wave feminism than Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique. This book, written by a self-proclaimed house maker, exposed the series of beliefs “that trapped Middle Class suburban women for whom extra income was not an economic necessity but a choice about identity and self-development.” (2) Post War, women were encouraged to be mothers and wives, not professionals. Yet at the same time, more and more women were working outside the home. In short, before the war, women sought individuality and fulfillment, but after the war they were encouraged to find fulfillment in motherhood and domesticity. Friedan accused Freudianism (although not therapy per se) of rationalizing the belief that women were less human than men; in short, like penis envy, where women serve men or envy them. She blamed Anthropologist Margaret Mead for promoting the feminine mystique by “glorifying feminine women and emphasizing their sexual and biological responsibilities.” (3) Ironically, at a time when more women are going to college, so too are more women choosing early marriage. She blames this trend on “sex-directed educators” who focused on personal development in modern society, not education. Because of these forces, there was a divide between what women read and experienced. This divided caused confusion and self-doubt. (3) Media images promote and reinforce the domestic housewife as happy, but they are in fact not happy. Not being happy at home, women envied men. They now found “fulfillment only in sexual passivity, male domination, and nurturing maternal love.” (3) The feminine mystique, therefore, “prevented women from realizing their full human potential.” The domestic sphere was their prison. Consumer culture promised more free-time for women; yet women were bored in their domestic prison. Chores took up all their time. Consumption, housework, and sex were inauthentic and unsatisfactory experiences. (3) Friedan concluded that women can only achieve fulfillment through personal growth. She offers “A New Life Plan for Women” which calls for a continuation of family and marriage, but also with a greater purpose that “shapes the future.” (4) This did not mean simply volunteer work; instead, this work must require Intelligence, Initiative, Leadership, Responsibility, genuine social contribution, and Financial Compensation. In short, Women must better themselves throughout their lives. To help in this development, colleges should make concessions to women who do not fit into the 18-22 YO mold of most students(less)

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Jan 19, 2009 Suzanne rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I don't know if you can call yourself an American feminist if this book isn't on your bookshelf. It isn't so much THE penultimate feminist text as it is an explanation of the swoops of the pendulum between the first and second waves. We all know, of course, that the waves were very different, but now I have a better idea of how and why.

I'm also now curious to find out what else Friedan had to say in her lifetime, esp in regards to third (present?) wave feminists. After all, she died only recentl...more

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Jan 08, 2009 JoLee rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2009, bookclub, non-fiction

I really enjoyed Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique much more than I thought I would. Friedan's book has it's roots in the 1950s, which is incredibly obvious, and, thus, some of her arguments are very outdated. Friedan's books grew out of the 1950's idea that women would be most fulfilled if they embrace their femininity through meekness, submissiveness, and by living through their husbands and children. She terms this idea "the feminine mystique." One might also think of it as the 1950's Cul...more

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Mar 12, 2013 Nicholas During rated it 4 of 5 stars

What a powerful book, and I think not very out-of-date. Betty Friedan does some studies of women, university graduates, and discovers that in the 50s and early 60s women were dropping out of school, getting married younger than any time before, and dleaving the workplace to be housewife at a higher rate than previously was occurring. Why, she asks, is this happening in a time when the feminist movement was meant to have won some serious gains. The reason is "the feminine mystique," the idea that...more What a powerful book, and I think not very out-of-date. Betty Friedan does some studies of women, university graduates, and discovers that in the 50s and early 60s women were dropping out of school, getting married younger than any time before, and dleaving the workplace to be housewife at a higher rate than previously was occurring. Why, she asks, is this happening in a time when the feminist movement was meant to have won some serious gains. The reason is "the feminine mystique," the idea that a woman's identity is based on her biology, her reproductive purpose, and her role as mother, provider, cook, and cleaner. This mystique comes from an alarming amount of sources: academics (a truly scary picture), newspapers, women's magazines, advertisements, companies, rival working men, etc.

Friedan says that she is not attacking the role of housewife, but she really is. She notes that these women, the educated housewives who gave up their education and career to dedicate themselves to being a mother and housewife, have serious psychological problems, and the don't understand why since they often have very good lives (in terms of family, money, status, etc.), this is "the problem that cannot be named." Moreover, Friedan finds it is coming out in the next generation, in their children, boys in particular, and husbands. The kids are so used to having a full-time mom that they never really get to grow by themselves. The husbands, instead of relaxing at home after a hard day of work supported by their dedicated wives as the mystique reckons it, find that they return to resentful, exhausted, bored, and often addicted wives who have no distraction outside the home to develop their individual identity. Friedan's solution is to get out of the house, get a job, return to your real studying (night classes won't help), be ambitious.

All of this seems pretty straightforward to me. What makes the book so special today, I think, is a couple things. I had no idea that in the 50s and 60s there was such a regression in the lives of women. Studies prove that they married much younger (like late-teens, early 20s), had kids much earlier (right after that), dropped out of school earlier even when they were good students, and gave up, or never started, careers even when they were very talented. It wasn't the case that women's rights and lives was a slow progress up, it had started to decrease. Friedan then starts her history of feminism, and claims that many people don't know the rights won and how difficult it was (I think this is pretty true since many people say this book was the beginning of US feminism). And the reaction against feminisim which claims that woman belong in the house, belong just as mothers, and don't need to work to benefit society. While this is still heard, and I wasn't surprised to hear it, it is strange to hear it from the lips of famous thinkers, Margaret Mead get a big slap, and how accepted it was as a theory. The best chapter is on the selling of the feminine mystique, both by advertisers who realize that there is a huge market in consuming housewives (how many cleaning appliances and products does one need?), and in the uncreative women magazines that think the feminine mystique sells (who will identify with a successful single woman?). That these magazines rely on advertising from the cleaning products is not surprising. And God knows it still happens.

Honestly the book does go a bit too long, and repeats its point a bit too much to make it a truly fascinating read. But this book should be read by everyone today, I firmly believe. Not many people are willing to say the fight for women's rights is over. There are parts where this book is out-of-date—the chapter about universities and their treatment on their female students is shocking and I believe has mostly been fixed today, at least in the curriculum. And it is true that Friedan is talking about housewives with husbands who make enough money to live—the truly poor do not make these pages. Yet reading some of the extra material in this edition show how important this book was to many. Women did have real psychological issues when they felt compelled to stop their lives and development and stay in the home. Women were being ignored in almost every area. And America, and the world, was suffering for it. The movement is not over, and Friedan firmly takes on abortion as a right that women should be able to decide on themselves, but as happened in the 50s and 60s, without knowing the history, the fights, and treatment in the past, it's very hard to improve the future.(less)

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Aug 09, 2012 Callie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Are you kidding me? This book was written fifty years ago and it's still so powerful! There is a lot of passion fueling the writing of this book, and I can only wonder what it must have meant to women who read it when it was first published.

What it means for me?
It reminds me that as a woman I have something to give to the world, that I have been blessed with passions, talents, capacities that I need to recognize and that I can use to make this world a better place. Yes, I am a wife and mother,...more

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Jun 21, 2012 Terri Lynn rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I was born in 1959 and when this came out originally in 1963, I was 4 years old. I went to school in Atlanta in the 1960's and 1970's. When I was in elementary school- grades 1-7- from fall of 1965 to June of 1972, I was struck by the differences between other women and my mother. For example, every single one of the other moms of the kids in my classes from 1st to 7th grade were housewives.

While those moms cooked, cleaned, raised kids, gossiped with each other, and volunteered to give class pa...more I was born in 1959 and when this came out originally in 1963, I was 4 years old. I went to school in Atlanta in the 1960's and 1970's. When I was in elementary school- grades 1-7- from fall of 1965 to June of 1972, I was struck by the differences between other women and my mother. For example, every single one of the other moms of the kids in my classes from 1st to 7th grade were housewives.

While those moms cooked, cleaned, raised kids, gossiped with each other, and volunteered to give class parties, my own mother worked. She and my father owned a bookstore and my mother worked full time. My dad was the only dad picking up his kid at my elementary school which fascinated the other mothers who came to pick up theirs. I had a nanny, a lovely black woman named Ruth who was a second mom to me and was herself a working mom.

My mother had a copy of this book and I remember talking to her about it when I was around 13. She had me read it and we discussed it, a practice we had enjoyed my whole life. Suddenly I understood why my mother made her career a priority and why she had so much self-respect and always seemed to me to be so much more smarter and sophisticated than the other moms. Betty Friedan had nailed it. The other kids had mothers who were dead inside. Dead. They had no vitality for life, no "I can't wait to get up for the new day" going on. All they could talk about was gossip, kids, cleaning, cooking, and the like. Such boring women had to be bored. How different they were from my mom and I knew that when I grew up, I would be just like my own mom. I had no desire to be one of the Stepford Wives.

I got to spend time with both parents and by the time I was 10, I was working with them in the bookstore. I learned to shelve books, run the cash register and wait on customers. I learned to do the business checking, inventory and accounting. Both of my parents wanted me to be prepared for a real life and encouraged me to earn the best grades.

This book goes a long way in explaining why. My mother was born in the 1920's. There was little opportunity for a small town girl to get a good education or start a career so once they were married, my parents moved to the city leaving behind mothers and sisters and sisters in law who were intellectual zombies.

Here's the most important thing for every female to understand- your hopes, dreams, goals, talents, education, and abilities are every bit as important as any man's including your husband's. You do not exist to sell your body to a man in marriage in exchange for room and board. You are more than a legalized hooker, cook, maid, babysitter, and errand girl. You are no one's doormat. You get one chance at life (there is NO life after death which is an absurd notion) and you have limited time to live it to its fullest. Your kids will not rot or die if you work, get a degree, own a business, and live your own life and not just reflect your dreams through them. Betty Friedan opens the door to the near past, a past a lot of women are trying to relive today. Don't you be one of them! This world needs your dreams, talents, skills, and creativity. (less)

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May 17, 2012 Elisia rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

we learn about the women in our history, in all their movements of suffrage, equality, improve woking conditiona and much more but we never know how they feel and what drives them to make a change for womenn but we get a glimse in this book. women of today are here becaue of women in all the movements but while soo much has change very little has too. biggest change is that the women work in almost every single feid and it normal and their is a slight shift toward the women in the amount of bein...more

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Mar 21, 2012 Jee Koh rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Written as long ago as 1963, this book still speaks with a fresh, combative yet engaging voice. Friedan set out to understand the nagging sense of emptiness that American suburban housewives felt in the 1950s. Marshaling the data and arguments of psychology, sociology and history, she made the case that this existential nullity resulted from the attempt to live according to what she called the feminine mystique, the idea that a woman's sole purpose in life is to be a wife and a mother. In differ...more Written as long ago as 1963, this book still speaks with a fresh, combative yet engaging voice. Friedan set out to understand the nagging sense of emptiness that American suburban housewives felt in the 1950s. Marshaling the data and arguments of psychology, sociology and history, she made the case that this existential nullity resulted from the attempt to live according to what she called the feminine mystique, the idea that a woman's sole purpose in life is to be a wife and a mother. In different chapters, Friedan analyzed and criticized the contributions of Freudian psychoanalysis, functional sociology (including Margaret Mead's later writings), sex-directed education, post-war uncertainties and rampant consumerism to the feminine mystique. The synthesis of research and polemic is quite compelling.

Equally persuasive is her demonstration of the deadly consequences of the feminine mystique. Taking the home as the boundaries of her world, the American housewife exhausted herself through unnecessary housework, bought into the promises of the latest gadgets, dominated her husband and children as her life projects, sought extra-marital sex in order to feel alive, and suffered nervous breakdowns. Friedan showed the tragedy of forbidding women to pursue meaningful and creative work outside of the home, in the knowledge that she was contributing to the wider society. The tragedy affected not just women, but men, and children. Her call for women's full participation in the world beyond the home was taken up by women in the 1960s. The epilogue narrates with great energy the formation of the National Organization for Women (NOW), the passing of the Equal Rights Amendment, and the march down New York's Fifth Avenue on the fifteenth anniversary of the vote.

The book is not without its blind spots, of course. In an otherwise admiring introduction, Anna Quindlen points out that Friedan underestimated the desire of some men to retain the services of a de facto servant class. My own criticism lies in Friedan's lack of understanding of homosexuality. So rightly skeptical of the Freudian idea of women's "penis envy," she accepted too uncritically Freud's explanation of male homosexuality as solely a case of maternal dominance. I think she was right to castigate as infantile some of the manifestations of male homosexuality of this period--mindless sexual promiscuity, love-hate for the Mother--but she was wrong to imply that same-sex love is necessarily immature.

Despite the blemishes, this book is still relevant to thinking about the balance between work and family, love and independence. In "Metamorphosis: Two Generations Later," written in 1997 and included in this edition, Friedan saw the need to re-conceive the masculine mystique. Given women's increasing success in competing with men in the wider world, given the loss of lifetime employment on which men have traditionally based their self-image, how should men think of themselves, and women of men too, so that both men and women can grow to their fullest human possibilities? (less)

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Dec 27, 2011 Kate rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: amer-culture, classics, nf

Wow. I don't think I ever realized WHY we had a need for "second-wave feminism" or how hard the pushback was against the idea of intellectual and professional equality for women in post-WWII America. I was aghast reading Friedan's statistics, stories, psychological investigations and more homely sociological research (the discussion of changes in magazine fiction was particularly startling). I wasn't too impressed by the weakness-of-American-Youth chapter (that idea being the one constant in cul...more Wow. I don't think I ever realized WHY we had a need for "second-wave feminism" or how hard the pushback was against the idea of intellectual and professional equality for women in post-WWII America. I was aghast reading Friedan's statistics, stories, psychological investigations and more homely sociological research (the discussion of changes in magazine fiction was particularly startling). I wasn't too impressed by the weakness-of-American-Youth chapter (that idea being the one constant in cultural critique) but I can see how we remain influenced by the "science" of a time not too long ago when it was accepted that women's highest calling was the home despite the stultifying nature of much childrearing/hometending work, and the blame that still attaches to all women (whether they stay home with children or work outside the home) as a result. (Friedan doesn't appear to have been immune from blaming women either, as evidenced by the attitude towards women "forcing" their husbands to do housework and the aforementioned w-of-A-Y chapter.) And I remember learning in 6th grade that the average age of marriage in the 50s/60s dropped to the teens but I was never old enough before to realize how disturbing that is!

I find myself applying what I learned in this book to all sorts of contexts, and applying Friedan's critical lens to much of modern culture as well. The introduction by Anna Quindlen in the edition I read talks about not realizing how TFM would be more than an interesting foray into a period piece, and I couldn't agree more. At the same time, it is certainly an interesting book to place the comments & experiences of my family as well - just how did it matter to have been born in 1913 versus 1936 versus 1955? How much did the high school/college experience change? How are my oldest cousins different from me because of how different my aunts' lives and expectations were? How will my children be different from theirs (especially because those 3rd cousins seem to marry so young compared to children of people my age, whose mothers were a bit behind the FM curve)?

I think everyone should read this. Freidan's firm belief that American women's abilities were being wasted and that this was the result of culture, not of purposely manipulative government, business, or male forces (though possibly the Catholic Church might have had a Plan) is an inspiration to make a difference.(less)

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Nov 08, 2011 Tina Davis rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I expected to find The Feminine Mystique radical, possibly offensive to my moderately conservative mindset, but I found in it much to appreciate This may be because I live in a world shaped by Friedan and her generation, but I think it has more to do with the fact that her critique of 1950s middle class femininity, expectations, and social patterns was largely legitimate. She points out that the suburban family model, with a father/provider, wife/homemaker, three kids and a dog, is a model based...more

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Oct 28, 2011 Nina rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction-but-not-boring

This book was definitely crucial to the second wave of feminism.
However, I didn't like that Friedan portrayed Judaism as an anti-feminist religion. She blames Freud's slightly misogynistic views on his religion. In fact, Freud was not at all religious, and considered Judaism to be a cultural identity. He said that the history of the Jews helped him to identify with persecution.
Friedan also mentions that Orthodox Jews have very anti-woman ideas. This is totally true, and for a long time I have b...more

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Sep 09, 2010 marc rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

i really got a lot out of reading this.

the negatives: i think some of the supporting evidence cited was dodgy. the chapter devoted to sex is particularly suspect in its claims of more difficult childbirths etc by women who have no identities external to mother role and housewifery, and this chapter also contains arguments on homosexuality that are internally logically inconsistent with the rest of friedan's argument. friedan's arguments are also very concerned with a particular, dominant populat...more

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Jan 04, 2010 Elizabeth rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'll be writing a fuller review for The Practical Feminist, of course.

Some parts of this book are showing their age. Friedan handily deconstructs the sexism of Freudian psychology but gives embarrassing credence to Freud's hypotheses of homosexuality--views that today seem as dated as the 1950s ad-speak she quotes.

But ohhh, that ad-speak. And ohhh, how she exposes the bland greed that keeps society and individuals from evolving as they might. It's easy to forget that second-wave feminism, in th...more I'll be writing a fuller review for The Practical Feminist, of course.

Some parts of this book are showing their age. Friedan handily deconstructs the sexism of Freudian psychology but gives embarrassing credence to Freud's hypotheses of homosexuality--views that today seem as dated as the 1950s ad-speak she quotes.

But ohhh, that ad-speak. And ohhh, how she exposes the bland greed that keeps society and individuals from evolving as they might. It's easy to forget that second-wave feminism, in this initial salvo, was a seriously anticonsumerist movement. As Friedan points out, advertisers of the 1950s knew that, with women making the majority of household purchases, it would be profitable to keep women in a relatively docile, infantile state of vague unease. Can we say with any certainty that the American public has grown out of this state of adolescence? Now that the marketing world has co-opted the messages of feminism, contemporary women--who hear "You go, girl" messages selling everything from antibacterial spray to diet drinks to antidepressants--would do well to remember this anticonsumerism.

Friedan also makes an uncomfortable point, glossed over by subsequent feminists from Steinem to Faludi: women must accept the responsibility for their own disenfranchisement. Passivity is the easier role, and plenty of women willingly chose it--and continue to choose it. That's vital, and I don't know why it hasn't quite caught on. I have a guess or two. One is that the marketing messages haven't exactly let up since The Feminine Mystique was published, and it's still very easy to choose passivity. Another is that Gloria Steinem became the public face of feminism (as Camille Paglia would have it, this was because Steinem was sexier and more photogenic than Friedan), and Steinem's feminism was less nuanced, more focused on the woman-as-eternal-victim-of-historical-forces view. Now, the problem with the woman-as-eternal-victim school of feminism is the same as the consumerist problem: it puts the woman in a passive role. If anything, victimhood is even more pernicious than consumerism, because it posits an attractive, romantic passivity. The world in which a young woman is tragically oppressed and traumatized, surrounded by leering would-be rapists, is much more dramatic and appealing than the one in which she must speak up and tell her employer she deserves a raise. Friedan is clear-eyed enough to call the victim world a fantasy. Would that her followers had done the same.(less)

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Feb 13, 2013 Ashley Suzanne rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: cannonball-read-v

From my Cannonball Read review...

I am a feminist. I don’t think that’s a groundbreaking title to claim, although if you listen to some of my more famous peers (Katy Perry, I’m looking at you), it’s a dirty word. But whether you claim the title loudly and proudly, or claim everything the title represents but annoyingly shun the term itself, it’s good to understand its roots.

Enter The Feminine Mystique, written by Betty Friedan, founder of the National Organization for Women. Dense but accessible,...more From my Cannonball Read review...

I am a feminist. I don’t think that’s a groundbreaking title to claim, although if you listen to some of my more famous peers (Katy Perry, I’m looking at you), it’s a dirty word. But whether you claim the title loudly and proudly, or claim everything the title represents but annoyingly shun the term itself, it’s good to understand its roots.

Enter The Feminine Mystique, written by Betty Friedan, founder of the National Organization for Women. Dense but accessible, the book focuses on the malaise that struck (straight, affluent, white – we’ll get to that in a minute) women in the 50s and 60s. Ms. Friedan put a name to “the problem that has no name,” exploring why women who seemingly have it all – or at least everything society thinks they should want to have – are unfulfilled, depressed, and even suicidal. She backs up her discussion with facts, referencing studies ranging from Kinsey’s research to polls from Mademoiselle magazine. She pretty neatly takes down the ridiculousness of Freudian theory as applied to women in the United States, and points to evidence that supports the idea that women who access higher education (whether before marriage or during) and pursue careers find themselves happier (and with better sex lives, natch) than their counterparts.

Much of the book is filled with important information and suggestions for how to achieve equality. While it took me awhile to get into it, I found that by breaking it down into chapters I was able to really process what I was reading. It was frustrating to read lines that could have been written today, describing how people view the ‘role of women’ in the home, that the most important thing that women can do is bear and raise children. As a childfree woman myself, I’m also well aware of the weird dichotomy that exists in the United States today: this worship of the idea of motherhood, but the disdain for mothers (e.g. no mandated paid maternity leave, shock at seeing a nipple in public to feed an infant, the judgment women cast upon each other over life choices).

BUT. And this is a big but, and one that I only discovered by reading the book – Ms. Friedan was apparently homophobic. It’s distressing to learn that she views that “Male homosexuals … are Peter Pans, forever childlike” who have a “fear of adult responsibility.” Say what now? While one can raise all the arguments they want about a book being ‘of its time’ (published in 1966), the fact remains that even in her later years of activism Ms. Friedan was at times guilty of expressing disdain for gay men and lesbians.

The other GIANT issue with this book is that, while focusing on what I would argue was (and to a degree still is) a real issue for women, she presented her arguments as though they applied to all women. I don’t think every book needs to examine all sides of every issue, but she certainly spent no time on the intersectionality of gender with race and class, and she also spent no time (at least that I saw, and I read it pretty closely) focused on why this is the group that needs the attention.

Still, I’d say this is a book to read for everyone who wants to understand better the history of feminism and be reminded not so much of ‘how far we’ve come’ but really of how far we haven’t come.(less)

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Oct 28, 2012 Lindsay Luke rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: listened

This book came out when I was 1. By the time I was old enough to read it, I considered it outdated. Reading it now, I can see how it describes the experience of my mother's generation, and my teachers' generation. On a certain level, people my age didn't think this applied to us, but it did because it applied to the people who raised and taught us. It's well written and provided valuable insight on what was experienced by my mother and what was going on in the 60s that I experienced but was too...more

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Jan 10, 2013 Kats rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013, book-club-reads, non-fiction, german, feminism, 20th-century-classics

Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique is widely considered a modern classic and seen as the seminal, ground-breaking work which supposedly single-handedly started the second wave of feminism back in the 1960s. I kept seeing Betty Draper in virtually every chapter of the book and wondered if the character in Mad Men was actually named after Betty Friedan as some kind of twisted joke.

Whilst many people in my book club didn't manage to read the whole book (they thought it "dry", "repetitive", "har...more

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Jun 04, 2011 Mary rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: classic, non-fiction

Somewhat dated and difficult to read -- I had to take it out of the library twice -- I read this mainly for its historical perspective but it made me think about my own life as a partial housewife (worked part time at a professional job) and about my husband's (somewhat frustrated) expectations for my providing him with services.

So I am glad I read it even though parts of it seemed 'too Freudian'. I was in high school when this was published and lived major changes to restrictions on women durin...more

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Mar 19, 2013 Kathryn rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Well worth the read today, despite the obvious flaws (most notably Betty Freidan's horrifying views on homosexuality) and the fact that I didn't particularly like how she constructed this book. Having read this, I would like to know: How truly unique was her perspective in 1963? In retrospect, to what extent were her specific observations about her time and place accurate? (I was interested by how many connecting threads to pre- and post-1963 fiction/film and to my family's history I could find...more

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Feb 21, 2013 Janice Liedl rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: academic

I'd read selections from "The Feminine Mystique" over the years but never sat down to read the entire work until this 50th anniversary edition appeared. It's worthwhile, including multiple epilogues and introductory materials from earlier editions. They provide snapshots of how her book was seen at launch, ten, twenty and many more years after. This reiterates the enormous impact that her book had on readers then and later on.

However, the meat of the book remains the text itself and "The Feminin...more I'd read selections from "The Feminine Mystique" over the years but never sat down to read the entire work until this 50th anniversary edition appeared. It's worthwhile, including multiple epilogues and introductory materials from earlier editions. They provide snapshots of how her book was seen at launch, ten, twenty and many more years after. This reiterates the enormous impact that her book had on readers then and later on.

However, the meat of the book remains the text itself and "The Feminine Mystique" stands up well as a readable work, even half a century on. Friedan's perceptiveness in describing 'the problem without a name' is bolstered by material from her own research, interviews and countless other contemporary sources. Where contemporary society encouraged men to pursue higher education, careers and grow in fulfilling ways, the mystique, bolstered by some cherrypicked elements from Freudian psychology and functionalist philosophies, urged women to subordinate all of those elements to fulfillment as a wife and mother. The problem was that so many women were driven to despair by the frustrations that they encountered in what was marketed to them as the ultimate in personal fulfillment and rewarding feminine duty.

The book lays out a damning case for how the mystique ran counter to the previous trends in American middle class culture where women's freedom and initiative had been celebrated. More damningly, Friedan shows how the mystique was endlessly useful to marketers in the burgeoning era of consumerism as well as their peers in the worlds of magazines, education and so on. Margaret Mead comes off rather badly for pushing the mystique's key message to urge women to embrace domestic service to husband and children early and totally while she, herself, did no such thing.

The book is flawed in my mind by an excessive reliance upon psychoanalysis. Many chapters focus in detail on this subject beginning with a long background on Freud's own problematic relationships with and understanding of women to page after page where Friedan uses psychoanalysis to diagnose problems in American housewives and their families all deriving from the toxic powers of the mystique. It is also relentlessly middle class: the world of the working class is almost non-existent except when evoked as servants!

I also couldn't accept her dismissals of homosexuality, particularly in men, and autism in children as consequences of pathological mother-love run amuck or improperly applied but, as I read those sections, I knew that she was approaching these topics using the thinking of the time. It's impossible to expect a book from 1963 to speak with the voice of 2013 all the time. The strength of "The Feminine Mystique" is that it evokes the past so vividly you'll think you're reading a modern history until you're jolted back into reality by those occasional tone-deaf moments.

If you want to understand the U.S. middle class culture of the 1950s and 1960s as how it played out in the media, medical, educational and marketing industries as well as in the personal stories of countless women, you should pick up Friedan's book and get to reading!(less)

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Mar 04, 2013 Mark rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This year being the half-century anniversary of The Feminine Mystique, there has been considerable discussion of the book in the media as of late. I’ve particularly seen a number claiming that the book isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—that instead of a landmark of feminism it’s really just a flawed, outdated, embarrassing piece of pseudo-sociology. And these claims are completely wrong. Sure, they may be correct about particular errors in the book, but Friedan’s work remains informative and relev...more This year being the half-century anniversary of The Feminine Mystique, there has been considerable discussion of the book in the media as of late. I’ve particularly seen a number claiming that the book isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—that instead of a landmark of feminism it’s really just a flawed, outdated, embarrassing piece of pseudo-sociology. And these claims are completely wrong. Sure, they may be correct about particular errors in the book, but Friedan’s work remains informative and relevant, even if you already consider yourself a feminist.
The purest distillation of Friedan-bashing I’ve seen was in an online article from the Atlantic (everyone’s favorite journal of second-rate writers peddling second-rate ideas) titled “4 Big Problems With The Feminine Mystique.” The four “big problems,” with my commentary, are:

1. Friedan wrote about middle-class white women, ignoring minorities and the poor.

An accurate statement, but an irrelevant one. The Feminine Mystique is not a catalogue of every ill that has ever befallen any woman anywhere. The whole point of the book is that even if you are a woman who has every material advantage, life can still be completely miserable. Yes, second-wave feminism had some severe blind spots, but this criticism of The Feminine Mystique is essentially a bad-faith argument.

2. Friedan wasn’t just a housewife—she traveled and worked as a journalist.

I don’t even understand this criticism. Nowhere in the pages of the book does Friedan write about herself as a housewife. She only depicts herself as a reporter who interviews other women about their domestic lives. The Atlantic goes on a long tear about how the book is “based on a lie” because Friedan had previously espoused leftist politics and didn’t mention them in promoting the book. Apparently the fact that she actually did housework and raised three children doesn’t count. According to the Atlantic, you’re only a housewife if you also have conservative opinions.

3. “It’s founded on a lot of lies.”

Well, actually three that the Atlantic finds. All three are examples where Friedan quotes leading experts of her day whose findings were later contradicted by more rigorous studies. None of these three points are critical to the book as a whole, and calling them “lies” is just shameless sensationalism on the part of the Atlantic.

4. Friedan is a homophobe.

This is the only criticism that sticks, because there are homophobic statements in the text, and it is difficult to stomach them as a modern reader. Friedan appeals to mainstream American society by saying that sexism is causing promiscuity, divorce, and homosexuality, all three of which she disapproves of, as did mainstream American society. Homophobia is a problem in the book, much as anti-Semitism is a problem in Dickens—but in neither case does the author’s prejudice completely overshadow his or her achievements.

So if you’re expecting The Feminine Mystique to read like it was written in 2013 instead of 1963, you’ll be disappointed. Otherwise, it’s engaging, presents an extremely well thought-out schema of how sexism works, and happens to include the most clear-eyed assessment of Freud I’ve ever encountered. And sadly, Friedan’s message is still extremely relevant today, despite fifty years of progress.
(less)

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