The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict (BK Life)
by Arbinger Institute
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other reviews (showing 1-20 of 413)
bookshelves:
personal-growth
Read in March, 2008
recommends it for:
everyone
The Anatomy of Peace basically talks about how in any given situation/relationship our hearts are either at peace or at war. When our hearts are at peace, we are seeing and accepting others as people with their own needs, passions and beliefs, and treating them accordingly (ultimately genuine charity). When our hearts are at war, we see and treat others as objects that must validate our personal self, and when they don’t we feel threatened and seek justification, which comes in a myriad of f...more
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Read in July, 2008
Anatomy of Peace changes the focus of conflict. Many other books try to help people adjust surface behaviors to get what they want out of those around them, and yet this strategy never challenges us to look at our own attitudes that perpetuate disharmony and block us from developing truly loving relationships.
I'm so glad to have read this. I think I will need to re-read it in six months or a year to see how I can implement it further in my life.
The only reason I would consider four stars...more
I'm so glad to have read this. I think I will need to re-read it in six months or a year to see how I can implement it further in my life.
The only reason I would consider four stars...more
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Read in April, 2008
I have read all three books by the Arbinger Institute. This one has much of the same information as Bonds That Make Us Free, but in a much easier to read format. What I really liked was the diagrams of the different "boxes" you could be in, and the feelings and thoughts you might have in each. I found that to be very insightful. I also found helpful the mental images of "taking off my shoes" to feel what another is feeling to be able to reach out to them, and the image of...more
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Read in April, 2008
Of all books in my site, this is the one I recommend the most strongly behind the Bible. It is a a secular book with truths you will not find in most Christian books, or in your Sunday sermons. I will not give it away but will say that I learned about self-deception and justification in the human heart, in my heart. You must read it for yourself. I am going to read it a second time and take notes b/c already the truths I read are beginning to slip away. This book is the big leagues. Do not...more
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Read in April, 2008
This was such an insightful book. The biggest thing I took from it was that when we see others as people, our hearts are at peace. When we see others as objects or obstacles in our life, our hearts are at war. When our hearts are at war, it doesn’t matter if we say all the right things, and do all the right things in the relationship, the other person will react to the war in our hearts. Through the examples in the book, it was easy to put a spotlight on my life and see how being aware of ...more
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Read in March, 2008
recommends it for:
people who want to improve their personal relationships - especially if you have teens!
I've been reading this book with my teenage children and we have been loving it. I've read it before, but the book has been good for discussion and helping us understand and recognize how people interact with one another and the "boxes" we all tend to put ourselves in. Things in my home have been going better simply from trying to live the principle of "helping things go right". It sounds like a "duh" thing, but to make a conscious effort toward that has been rea...more
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Read in May, 2007
recommended to Elizabeth by:
Jeanette
I hate to admit it because this book is so pop-psychology, but it really made a difference in my life. I am genuinely a better, person, wife, mother and friend for having read and internalized the lessons from this book. I would recommend it more to other people except that I wonder if it would do for them what it did for me. I felt like it helped because I was right there ready to accept what it said at the time I read it. If I had read it at another time in my life it might not have made a...more
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Read in February, 2008
This book is incredible in its ability to open up new ideas on perhaps familiar principles. If you are familiar with the Bible and Christian teachings, you will recognize many principles such as the golden rule vs the new commandment/ judge not/ first cast the beam out of your own eye/ charity/ the influence of the Holy Spirit / of you it is required to forgive all men, etc. But you will understand how these principles affect your life better, you will be able to apply them universally to your ...more
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Read in January, 2008
This book makes some really good points. I was turned off at first by the format (the story was made up and the anecdotes may or may not be real - argh!) It reminded me in some ways of Stephen Covey's 7 Habits, such as seeking first to understand others and building relationships (and I liked Covey's straightforward format better). But this was still very good. Talks about how being at peace with yourself, acting with integrity and acting on good impulses (among other points), help us not to...more
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Read in September, 2007
This book was even better than Leadership and Self Deception! I loved both books, but this one has more practical ways of putting the ideas into your life.
"No one, whatever their actions, can deprive me of the ability to choose my own way of being. Difficult people are neverhtless people, and it always remains in my power to see them that way." There were just so many gems in this book. I could go on and on. I read a lot and I haven't gotten as excited about a book in a really...more
"No one, whatever their actions, can deprive me of the ability to choose my own way of being. Difficult people are neverhtless people, and it always remains in my power to see them that way." There were just so many gems in this book. I could go on and on. I read a lot and I haven't gotten as excited about a book in a really...more
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Read in July, 2008
This book was a very good review of all of the things that I learned from Leadership and Self-Deception, with different, wonderful stories and a different teaching setting and direction. It also had a lot of new material towards the end with the Pyramid of Change and its elements. I would recommend these two Arbinger Institute books to anyone; I think that understanding and living the principles that they teach is fundamental to good relationships and any kind of association with others--inclu...more
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Read in June, 2008
This months' book club selection...I learned some really sound and personally needed principles from this - although the story itself is long-winded, and too self-congratulatory. Getting past that, anyone could only be better by practicing the simple techniques of spending more time helping things go right, rather than spending all of our time focusing on what is wrong. It contains wonderful and applicable lessons for anyone who wants to improve the way they handle confict...and, well, we all ha...more
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Read in June, 2008
recommends it for:
adults ready too look at hard things
This one cuts to the chase. Put in easy-to-follow narrative form, it addresses the core of conflict and how to overcome it. I learned a lot about myself by reading about other people's difficulties and how they responded to hard situations. The key to my peaceful heart is me and my choices. That principle is very empowering. No longer am I subject to the whim of anyone around me. I choose how to respond. Great read--Life changing.
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Read in November, 2006
The concepts presented in this book invite an honest and deep spiritual self-evaluation for anyone, regardless of one's faith. The principles in this book helped me widen my perspective a bit more on relationships of all kinds. There is a side of me that wanted the principles presented without the distraction of the story they were woven through. Still yet, this book is well worth reading for anyone. I plan to reread it again.
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Read in April, 2008
This book is a follow up to the institute's earlier "Leadership and Self-Deception" which I also recommend. But this book stands alone and is powerful in the lessons it teaches. Most powerful of all, getting past seeing people as objects. I do, and have repeatedly, recommended this book to anyone about to enter into a serious relationship or who is already in a serious relationship that could use some fine tuning!
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Read in February, 2008
recommended to Alisa by:
Trevan Householder
I had never heard of the Arbinger Institute before I read this book - now I'm ordering and reading all their books! I will never see people the same way again after reading this book. It talks about having a heart at peace vs. a heart at war, and seeing people as people instead of as objects. It is written in story form - so it's fun to read! I cannot recommend this book highly enough!
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Rarely do I attach a five star rating to any books but this one truly deserves it. Written by the Arbinger Institute, this book helps you learn the importance of having a heart at peace in your daily life. It is designed to create peace within everyday families and also amongst fierce enemies. A powerful book for those who read it humbly and consider how they can personally improve.
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Read in January, 2008
recommended to Elise by:
my motherrecommends it for: everyone
I took a bit to read this book, to make sure that I was giving it the proper time and attention to kind of digest it's theories. I think that everyone would benefit from reading this book and really keeping an open and honest mind with oneself while doing so. I especially liked the disucssion of seeing other people as just that, people, rather than as objects.
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bookshelves:
bettering-myself,
spirituality
Read in January, 2006
The Arbinger Institute came out with a book to precede The Anatomy of Peace, called, Leadership and Self-Deception. They both present a paradigm shift in the way we percieve those around us. The Anatomy of Peace has influenced how I interact with others within the walls of my own home more than any other book save the Bible or Book of Mormon.
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Ever think of how you see those around you? Especially those with whom you have difficulties? This book describes what happens to us when we see others as objects and what happens when we see them as people.
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know why they have problems with people in their lives (and who doesn't??).
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know why they have problems with people in their lives (and who doesn't??).
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book data (includes all editions)
avg rating (all editions): 4.44 (271 ratings) avg rating (this edition): 4.44 (270 ratings) number of reviews: 90popular shelves
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quote
""Have you ever been in a conflict with someone who thought he was wrong. If you are not wrong, then you will be willing to consider how you might be mistaken.""
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