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Dear Diary

by Lesley Arfin

3.32 · rating details · 601 ratings · 120 reviews

Following a remarkable run in its singular hardcover format (over 20,000 copies in print after two printings) and having captured a devoted fan base that continues to grow, Dear Diary arrives in trade paperback.

Within only several months of its release, this highly acclaimed title reached thousands of readers who sparked enthusiastic discussions on MySpace Books, was co...more

Paperback, 232 pages

Published August 7th 2008 by Vice Books (first published June 1st 2007)

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Jul 29, 2007

Mary rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: people who enjoy a good bout of the dry heaves

Shelves: ya

Lesley Arfin must be stopped. When the pathologically hip Williamsburgers of Vice magazine were content to live in their overpriced lofts and vacation at their neo-plantations in Costa Rica and judge one another with their peculiar brand of fashion fascism, they were good for a laugh. But now Lesley Arfin has taken it upon herself to, as she puts it in an excruciating interview with her father, reach out to "another girl, somewhere in Minnesota" who "might be going through the s...moreLesley Arfin must be stopped. When the pathologically hip Williamsburgers of Vice magazine were content to live in their overpriced lofts and vacation at their neo-plantations in Costa Rica and judge one another with their peculiar brand of fashion fascism, they were good for a laugh. But now Lesley Arfin has taken it upon herself to, as she puts it in an excruciating interview with her father, reach out to "another girl, somewhere in Minnesota" who "might be going through the same thing."

She must be stopped. Why?

1.Because Dear Diary is the worst kind of lazy, tin-eared, hackneyed, narcissistic memoir: imagine Dave Eggers's solipsistic obsession for self-chronicling but without the interesting life or the literary chops that make his confessions compelling and readable. Instead, imagine pages from the diary of an entirely unremarkable Long Island teenager/heroin addict followed by "updates" from the entirely unremarkable near-thirty-year-old hipster hanger-on she grew up to be. Now imagine this charade dragging on for a horribly self-indulgent 232 pages. Now try not to gouge out your own eyes.

2.Because peppered lovingly throughout all 232 of these pages— along with many forced allusions to countercultural touchstones, wretchedly written paeans about Arfin’s “passion for writing,” and constant assertions of her apparently sincere belief that this “book” will “change lives”—is the casual ironic racism, sexism, and heterosexism that is a huge part of Vice culture. What’s funny about calling someone a “fag” or a “dyke” for Vice folks, as far as I can gather, is that this shocks well-intentioned, let’s-all-just-get-along type liberals, for whom they have nothing but the most virulent scorn. What Arfin fails to understand is that the average 15-year-old girl in Minnesota, or even one in Long Island, will not grasp the transgressive irony of her incessant gay-bashing and will see it only (and this is perhaps closer to Arfin’s own true motivation) as a way to be cool.

3.Because, by some miracle of astonishing arrogance, Arfin sees herself as a role model and encourages her readers to follow her life path. At the end of her “book,” Arfin opines, “I hope everyone who reads it makes as many mistakes as I did. Just remember that mistakes are only worth it if they get written down in a diary. If you’re lost at sea in your late 20s and you don’t know what to do with your life, maybe you’ll be able to convince someone to publish it.”

Ah, yes, children. She’s right. The surest route to personal fulfillment is to get addicted to heroin, compulsively record your boring, belligerently ignorant observations, and befriend some super-rich douchebags who’ll publish your tripe! But you’d also better be sure that your parents are rich enough to pay for your expensive liberal arts college, send you to rehab twice, and subsidize your kitschily decorated apartment on the lower east side!

I was far too bored to really ponder the half-assed, "J.K.—kind of!" sarcasm with which Arfin qualifies this and other more grandiose claims. I would guess that it functions to absolve her of culpability should some unfortunate teen take her seriously and end up dead in an alley. "J.K., dead dude! Didn't you get that I was being, like, totally ironic?"

As soon as I finish writing a paper about this “book” (provisionally titled “Why I Must Kill Lesley Arfin With A Shovel”), I will return it to the store and try to sleep at night with the knowledge that Arfin can now validate her existence by telling people that she is “a published author.”
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Oct 21, 2011

Kate rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: memoir, book-swap, nonfiction

2.5 stars

I'm on the edge with this one and it's not of glory either. (Lady Gaga fans put your paws up!)

I liked the format a lot. I liked that she took the entries straight out of her personal diaries and then reflected upon it from her older self and interviewed the people involved with those entries. That was what made me stick with it and read it to the very end because Lesley Arfin has some big cajones for airing her personal laundry for all to see and read.

But (...more

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Nov 04, 2007

matt. singer. rated it

· review of another edition

Lesley Arfin is not an extraordinary girl. She grew up a Jewish American Princess in Long Island, endured the same cattiness and extreme self-consciousness all teenagers suffer through, became a punk, then a raver, then went off to college — and became a full-blown junkie.

How does someone go from kick line and crushes and mosh pits to Ecstasy and crystal meth and heroin? That’s what Arfin, now 28 and “straightedge,” would like to know. "Dear Diary" is an extension of the co...moreLesley Arfin is not an extraordinary girl. She grew up a Jewish American Princess in Long Island, endured the same cattiness and extreme self-consciousness all teenagers suffer through, became a punk, then a raver, then went off to college — and became a full-blown junkie.

How does someone go from kick line and crushes and mosh pits to Ecstasy and crystal meth and heroin? That’s what Arfin, now 28 and “straightedge,” would like to know. "Dear Diary" is an extension of the column she writes for hipster tome Vice Magazine, in which she publishes entries from the journal she has kept since middle school and tries to figure out how what she went through then made her the person she is today. Admittedly, it’s a brave concept. No one enjoys looking at pictures of themselves when they were younger, let alone making public every private insecurity and underdeveloped thought they’ve had from the age of 11. Even ballsier is Arfin’s decision to track down those who have since left her life and ask them to explain their actions toward her.

Balls is not what the book lacks. What it lacks is the ability to transcend mere autobiography. Arfin wants her experience to say something about adolescence in general: “My diary entries became not just my life story. They’re every girl’s life story,” she writes. “You’re not me, but you’re kind of me.” This is basically true. Actress Chloë Sevigny co-signs this point in her introduction. She and Arfin had a similar upbringing, except where Arfin descended into drugs, Sevigny went off and gave Vincent Gallo an on-camera blowjob. Both are terrible mistakes — different kinds of mistakes, but mistakes nonetheless — and mistakes is what "Dear Diary" is about. Everyone makes them, boys included.

But while the diary gimmick is what makes Arfin’s story worth reading at all, it is also what ultimately turns reading the book into little more than an exercise in base voyeurism. The design contributes to this effect: The magnetized back cover folds over to the front revealing the image of a padlock, and it even has the sweet, stale scent that would accompany a young girl’s actual diary (I imagine). It’s like finding the Ark of the Covenant in your girlfriend’s closet. Arfin’s frank descriptions of her sexual and pharmaceutical encounters — which, ironically, are more graphic in the retrospective updates she wrote with the intention of everyone seeing than in the personal, of-the-moment entries — are admirable, but as the book goes on the interest grows increasingly more prurient. This might reflect more on the reader than the author, but she certainly doesn’t try to dissuade it: On the very first page, she includes an “Experience Timeline,” which charts what she did and when. Seeing that she loses her virginity and starts taking mushrooms and acid in 12th grade makes you want to skip past the years of heavy petting, pot and psychological cruelty at the hands of her so-called “frienemies,” which means ignoring the stuff that possibly explains why she got hooked on heroin during her sophomore year in college.

Even if you read straight through, though, Arfin never really finds an answer to the “How did I get here?” question. Her interviews with the people from her past unfortunately don’t produce much in the way of revelations; they mostly end up as one-sided conversations. She had daddy issues, culminating in one beating at his hands, but for the most part her childhood was no more traumatic than anyone else’s.

And that seems to be Arfin’s point. Her getting into drugs wasn’t the result of an unusually harrowing background or compensation for a particularly crippling self-image. It was simply a choice. She doesn’t try to convince teenage girls to take another path — this isn’t a PSA. She just wants them to know what they might be getting into.

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Sep 10, 2007

Valerie rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: people who aren't interested in drugs

ah gahd heroin heroin heroin. being a girl. feeling like shit. terrible horrible wonderful. yes yes yes.

i stayed up all night reading this horrible shit. i'm tired and pissed and i want drugs now. it's really good.

i've been keeping diaries as long as this chick and mine are way more interesting. way.

like 2 likes

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Jan 03, 2009

Kelly rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: adult, nonfiction

I was looking through the bookstore purchasing materials for my vacation (rare treat to self) when this book on display jumped out at me. Recommendations on the back made it seem like it would be enjoyable, funny, and a speedy read.

Well it was speedy.

In this book Arfin takes diary entries from elementary school up to the present and pokes fun at them. She also goes back to talk to people she wrote about to find out if they're still jerks or whether they've mended their wa...more

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Feb 06, 2008

Pilouetta rated it

· review of another edition

Recommended to Pilouetta by: tema

maybe it's just me. maybe we got off to a bad start when she said she was punk in 1993 at the age of 14 (i thought it DIED when i was 15 in 1983). and maybe i can't relate to a 27 year old whose parents supported her so she could go to hampshire college, and become a heroin addict. i found her book boring and self indulgent which, i think, is exactly what a diary is, interesting to arfin and her friends ONLY. her fucking isn't that hot, her writing is ... well, she's no anais nin. her best ...more

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Aug 02, 2007

Colleen rated it

· review of another edition

self-indulgent to say the least.

i found a lot of it rather boring and the quality of writing was poor. [does she really think it's okay to publish a book using abbreviated forms of words such as "btw" and "jk?"-i get it. and it makes me embarassed for this aging hipster.]

i won't say that i disliked it though. i'm a pop-culturist and this is pop-culture at it's best. the author is only a few years older than me so it was nice little trip down memory ...more

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Jul 30, 2009

JesterDala rated it

· review of another edition

For what it was (just another book about some girl who couldn't keep her shit together), the book is alright. The format is different and interesting enough to mostly keep a reader's attention until the end, though anyone could anticipate what's on the next page. The book is basically be summed up on the back cover, leaving nothing of any further interest inside.

Mostly, it was confusing. She names multitudes of people she's come in contact with over the span of fifteen years, but ...more

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Jan 14, 2012

Renee rated it

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Shelves: fiftyfifty

if you do not understand irony, please do not read this book. this 'memoir' (can you really write a memoir when you're 27 and the only life experience you have is going to college and doing copious amounts of drugs?) has aspects that kept me reading- blatant juiciness and bad-girl behavior written in a straightforward manner that makes you feel like you're having a conversation with your (pretty annoying) friend.

arfin is obsessed with cool vs. lame which makes me think she is perpe...more

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Feb 12, 2009

Andrew Post rated it

· review of another edition

I picked this book up because I was looking in Biography for something to give me ideas when writing my own little biography. And well, sucked in by the dramatic (albeit a little Andrew WK-esque) cover art, I read the first few pages in the B&N before buying it. I thought it was funny and simple in its prose, a quick read and pretty much cut to the point.

But, I think Lesley Arfin likes to shock and skip over some of the minor details. Here are some of the shocks: describing in detai...moreI picked this book up because I was looking in Biography for something to give me ideas when writing my own little biography. And well, sucked in by the dramatic (albeit a little Andrew WK-esque) cover art, I read the first few pages in the B&N before buying it. I thought it was funny and simple in its prose, a quick read and pretty much cut to the point.

But, I think Lesley Arfin likes to shock and skip over some of the minor details. Here are some of the shocks: describing in detail what girls go through when they "do the deed" themselves. She talks a lot about sex and all of the graphic details of that. About all the farting in rehab (which I thought was hysterical.) And about her dad beating the shit out of her.

The things I noticed that she skipped over was who paid for college, what it was exactly that threw her dad into such a tizzy (which I'm sure if she writes like this, she probably talks like it as well and I'd be tempted to beat the shit out of someone who talked about things being "gay" and "lame" all the time.) And when it came to 9/11, I'm not expecting three whole chapters on how bad it was and how it effected the world, art, music, etc but come on, "people were just pissed." That's it?

I get hipsters. I know you all like to wear your white belts and homeless guy beards and the girls like to dress in pink and black stripes and wear big white-rimmed sunglasses, but, when it starts going beyond fashion and littering the bookshelves, I'm starting to get concerned. Go hang out at the mall or somewhere, hipsters. Or Trader Joe's or the gas station. Somewhere where 13-year-old girls will see you and admire you. Because, speaking for all adults here, we're not impressed.

Okay, now that I'm done taking a big dump on the book, I can say the good things. The writing is sharp and no words are wasted. It feels conversational and genuine. You can really tell she wanted to be honest, 100% honest when writing this. The interviews with ex-flames and ex-friends were all funny and gave real insight into past lives, that whole 20-20 hindsight thing. I laughed more reading this book than I have any other book in quite some time.

But something kind of hurts the book, and all biographies, for that matter, is that we (as the reader) didn't know these people the author is talking about. So we can hear about how dreamy or hot someone is or how incredible the sex was, but since we didn't experience it, we can't really vouch. We have to imagine that these people in Lesley's life were cool and great people (and some assholes) and go with the flow, which hurts the book a tiny bit when it can't really be helped.

I'd recommend this for girls in high school are thinking about getting into the whole rock scene and going to shows and seeing boys and whatnot. Because it really shows the rapid decline one can have when starting to get involved with the "wrong crowd." I hate saying that, because it makes me sound so old... But, it is a cautionary tale about drugs and sex and rock n' roll, which is every white person's bread and butter for the most part. So, even if I were a girl and I had read this in high school, I probably still would've done drugs. I read Hunter S. Thompson in high school and he wasn't exactly telling me not try things. But, yeah, you get the picture.

Uh, probably the worst review I ever read.
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Jan 07, 2011

Any rated it

· review of another edition

fantastic. absolutely incredible. i read this in eighth grade and did a project on it. i guess you could say my teacher was surprised, to say the least. many people say this is a modern day 'go ask alice', and i suppose it is. just much more informative and realistic sounding. even though its more outrageous. but hey, that doesnt mean i'm passing any judgements. i commend lesley arfin for: one, getting herself out of a hell hole that was her life (although a fun and wild ride before she came cra...more

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Jun 14, 2009

lola rated it

· review of another edition

if you are in a proto-punk phase: someone should give you this book, you'll find it interesting and it might give you some good ideas about drugs and saying fuck you to middle school

if you are in your punk phase: you will probably find it very close to your own experience, which may either excite you or disappoint you, depending on what emotional price you put on considering yourself unique in the world

if you are post-punk: you will like it because it reminds you of peopl...more

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Aug 13, 2010

courtney rated it

· review of another edition

i have a "thing" for diary-type books. either real of fictionalized, even if they are schlocky airport fare i can never say no. luckliy, this book isn't - lesley writes this memoir that is half diary entries from her personal journals and half commentary on those entries and where she was in her life when she wrote them like a letter to an old friend from back home. it helps that she has led an interesting and adventurous life thus far- and dear diary reflects that in its smart yet ...more

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Jul 07, 2009

Michelle Casey rated it

· review of another edition

This great book consists of a 29 year old woman going back through her teenage diary and annotating entries with explanations of the people and situations and modern-day adult correspondences with some of the main players about past events. The book details her painful middle school years and her descent into drug addiction in high school and college. Relateable and raw, this book reminds every woman who reads it that no matter her current body issues, insecurities, or unhappinesses she is stron...more

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Jul 28, 2011

Kim rated it

· review of another edition

Wow... wow... ok. Darn, I should have published my diary from age 14-25 teehee. Lesley did a great job of getting her sh*t together after all that. Love how she called people and checked out what they remember happening in their lives as it corresponds to her diary entries! I think reading this as a parent was a bit scary but reminds us not to get involved in social interactions of our kids (like her Dad yelling at her best friend and her best friend shunning her forever after that). It also ...more

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Sep 21, 2010

MariNaomi rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: graphic

This book gave me a peek into what it might have been like, had I run rampant with my adolescent/early adulthood drug use. Oh, and had I not been terrified of needles. Lesley Arfin's journal entries (and especially her observations from an older age) really rang true to me, capturing the insecurities and desperation to please that I think all young girls go through. This book felt honest, thoughtful, and her writing style made me laugh aloud numerous times. Special excitement bonus points for th...more

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Jan 19, 2012

Julie (julie37619) rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: humor

I picked this one up at McKays because the cover reminded me a lot of Mortified (edited by David Nagel), which I enjoyed. I also needed a book for a quarterly challenge my NBC girls do that is in diary form and the premise for this book sounded hilarious. The book is made up of entries from the author's diary from middle school through her post-college years. She also includes updated commentary on her diary entries and interviews some of the people she wrote about. The back cover blurbs all...moreI picked this one up at McKays because the cover reminded me a lot of Mortified (edited by David Nagel), which I enjoyed. I also needed a book for a quarterly challenge my NBC girls do that is in diary form and the premise for this book sounded hilarious. The book is made up of entries from the author's diary from middle school through her post-college years. She also includes updated commentary on her diary entries and interviews some of the people she wrote about. The back cover blurbs all talk about how funny and poignant it is, etc, etc.

Sorry guys. Not funny. And not poignant. Really, really annoying is more like it. Warning sign #1 should have been the forward by Chloe Sevigny about how this is such a great reflection on the typical high school experience and how everyone can find something to identify with. The one thing that kept me from putting the book down was that I wanted to be sure that I was annoyed by the author's writing not just by the fact that I couldn't identify with anything that ever happened to her. Obviously I'm pretty conservative, so I didn't want my personal opinions on drug use to color my analysis of the author's writing. And I can say with a pretty fair amount of certainty that they didn't. It's just not well done.

First of all, there are a million typos. Beyond the typos, there are several places where I stopped and read sentences over and over again and never could figure out what the author was saying. It was like she would start a thought and forget what she was talking about mid-sentence. Her is a paraphrase of one that really jumped out at me "My friend Charlene, who was never into drugs until she met a man who was a junkie and suddenly she became a junkie overnight." And that would be the end of the thought. And I'd be thinking "This sentence has NO VERB!" - which is fine in certain cases, but this was not intentional. And it happened multiple times.

Finally, I think the author may just be friends with James Frey. My issue with Frey is not that he ficitonalized parts of his memoir (that's why it's a memoir not an autobiography - someone tell Oprah, please) but that he didn't do it well. I've read several other drug use/abuse/troubled family memoirs and not really questioned what the author was telling me. I'm a very trusting person. But in both Frey's book A Million Little Pieces and in Dear Diary I found myself frequently thinking "Really? That really happened? Your were able to get on an airplane with a hole in your face and no one said anything about it? Really???"

I really wanted to like this book, but I'm so confused by the way it was marketed as humorous. Literally not a single funny thing happens. I don't think I even smiled while reading it. It's a definite no as a recommendation and I'm disappointed that I lost the $1 it cost from the discount bin at McKays. (less)

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Nov 01, 2008

Ken rated it

· review of another edition

When I first picked up Dear Diary from a stack of vacation reading, I thought it was going to be a funny read. The idea/gimmick is that the author goes through the diary she kept through her teen years, comments on the entries, and tries to track down the people she knew at the time to get their perspective on things.

Once I got a better look at the book, I realized that it was not just for laughs or nostalgia: the author descended into heroin addiction during her teen years, and she uses t

...more

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Oct 20, 2008

Hannah rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs-and-non-fiction, read-in-2008

I wanted to love this book. I had placed it on "hold" at the library almost a year ago, and when I finally received it, I could not wait to start reading it. I was disappointed, and I almost stopped reading about halfway in because it was pretty boring. I mean, the concept is very interesting: girl takes her diaries from ages 11-28 or so and posts exact entries from years ago, along with an update from now with additional information. She also interviewed people from the entries asking...more

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Aug 10, 2008

Tiffany rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: people who want to read it

Recommended to Tiffany by: vice magazine

i read reviews of this book and of course 944 and vice and all the usual suspects loved it but my friends and general online "real" people hated it. so i didn't have very high expectations b/c if the only people who like your book are your friends and the people in your book then chances are it's not actually any good. it read a lot like vice (the author writes very much about themselves and their opinion on something as the only correct way to perceive the topic). at least she admits ...more

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Sep 05, 2009

Maziel rated it

· review of another edition

This book was about a girl named Lesley who troughout her life, she has experienced crazy and werid things. This book is a collection of her funniest diary entries from twelve to tweenty five years old. Every time she updates her diary entries, Lesley writes about and to her old friends from middle school, high school, and college. She asks them awkward questions like,"Do you remember when we started using heroin?"and "Do you remember when I tried to beat you up?" I really...more

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Aug 31, 2011

Lori rated it

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Shelves: biographies-autobiographies, really-bad-to-unreadable, too-much-junkie-business

the author is shallow and full of herself....basically, she's the person who just wants to go on and on and on because she likes hearing herself speak.

there is nothing useful or helpful here, the writing is weak, undeveloped, and juvenile; the author seems very proud of herself for what she was involved in--and what info there is of that is very sketchy. even as i was reading this 5-minute story, i found myself wondering why this book had been published at all.

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Aug 27, 2009

Eliza rated it

· review of another edition

I was so intrigued by this book - it has the dramatic trifecta: sex, drugs, and rock and roll - that it's hard to believe how bored I was reading it. Even with all of the crazy things that were going on it wasn't fun to read. Lesley is hard to relate to. I felt like she was trying to impress us. I guess it comes down to the fact that I don't know her and she didn't manage to make me care about her story. I couldn't even finish the book.

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Jul 31, 2011

Catherine rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: about-a-girl, drugs, memoir

I think the ratings on this book are kind of harsh. I mean, once I started reading it, I couldn't quit. I mean, I literally read it all in less than 24 hours. But Lesley Arfin does come across as just a spoiled brat who got addicted to drugs, but just finds it hilarious now. She says over & over that she doesn't mean to glamorize drugs at all, but then in the next paragraph she's doing just that.

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Jan 26, 2009

Melissa rated it

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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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May 29, 2010

Kate P. rated it

· review of another edition

Lesley Arfin (Vice, Missbehave Magazine) re-visits her childhood by transcribing and responding to her diary entries from middle school thru to her 20s. Arfin recollects her experiences with boys, hardcore, drugs, and awful backstabbing friends. Almost any girl that hated high school and kept a diary can relate.

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Oct 12, 2008

Jeannette rated it

· review of another edition

Lesley Arfin's diary entries started out being worried about being flat chested to attending hardcore shows with 23 year olds and then being addicted to heroin in college. Dear Diary is a fast read filled with honesty, but it lacks insight...I mean it's Arfin's continuation of her Vice magazine column and the book is published by Vice, after all. I think the book does get better once Arfin starts college since the interviews she does with the people she surrounded herself with at the time seemed...more

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Nov 19, 2009

Lauren rated it

· review of another edition

I liked this book because there were definitely parts that were funny. I just have a hard time feeling anything other than annoyed at people who blame their addiction on others. (Arfin, like so many others, blames her addiction on her parents. C'mon now-we've all heard that one before!)

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Oct 06, 2011

Andy rated it

· review of another edition

I enjoyed this book, but wish it had a bit more significance. The author has a lot of potential to impress, but some things are left unclear. There's also a substantial amount of unjustified whining. I still liked it though. It's a good representation of adolescence.

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Aug 21, 2008

Naomi rated it

· review of another edition

Recommends it for: no one....

Oh where do I begin...

I guess I will begin with I was very disappointed with this book. I read reviews that compares this book to "Go Ask Alice"... ha. Whoever wrote that needs to re-read that book and then re-read "Dear Diary".

I think this book may have been able to be something great, well expect that Arfin lacks any seriously writing ability. And that fact this junkie lived off of her parents money for years... I mean you can't hate on someone fo...more

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About Lesley Arfin

Lesley Arfin has been writing professionally since 2001. She graduated from Hampshire College and immediately started an internship at Vice magazine, where she then went on to write a number of articles, as well as her own column, "Dear Diary."

In 2007 her book, Dear Diary, based on the column, was published by Vice Books/MTV Press. The introduction to the book was written by ...more

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Quotes from Dear Diary

“Ever notice how amused people are when you point out one of their mannerisms or a funny quirk about them? They start laughing and getting happy because they're thinking, "People notice me! I'm relevent!" It's OK to have these instincts, but you have to suppress them a bit. There are 6 billion people here, so it's not all about you. You need to let other people talk for a while and pay attention to their world for a sec.” — 1 person liked it

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