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Adele Faber
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Liberated Parents Liberated Children

4.33 of 5 stars 4.33  ·  rating details  ·  306 ratings  ·  43 reviews
The Companion Volume to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

In this honest, illuminating book, internationally acclaimed parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish bring to life the principles of famed child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, and show how his theories inspired the changes they made in their relationships with their own children

Published October 1st 1974 by Grosset & Dunlap (first published 1973)
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Don't be put off by the 70's title. I've read tons of parenting books and I love this one because of the mistakes the parents make along the way. It is so real in the sense that it talks about parent anger and the explosions that occur when parents do not express their anger along the way. There is steady progress forward for the parents although the patterns are slow to change. That is reality. It is hard to change patterns. It gives hope that change is possible and that we can be imperfect, hu ...more
Raising humane human beings. I think that is what parents aim for but don't know how to achieve it. Not only is it good for parents but also for human beings in relationships. The parents in this book are not perfect they make huge mistakes, that frankly make me feel better. And there are solutions and ways to learn and have our kids learn. It took me a long time to read because I would put it down and really think about it. One of my favorite parts:
"Our work is raising children. Our bricks-our
I LOVE THIS BOOK! As parenting books go, I think this one is in the top 3. I have read it three times in the past 6 years. I think this should be an annual read for me. Just a nice little reminder that I am not alone in the big world of sometimes crazy Motherhood.

Labeling is disabling. Describe what has happened or what you are feeling. There are so many good quotes and suggestions I feel are so useful as a parent. I look forward to reading Dr. Ginott's book, Between Parent and Child, that this
This book's recommended interactions with children felt really patronizing to me. For instance, when a child asks for help remembering to bring something to school they've repeatedly forgotten, the author suggests that you sympathize with the child, "Remembering stuff can be hard," but ultimately make the child remember it on their own. I think that's ridiculous. If my husband asked for help remembering, I'd try to help remind him. At a minimum I might make a suggestion to make remembering easie ...more
Roslyn Ross
This was good communication and good parent child relationships in the 70's--so plenty of beatings of the children and some pretty shocking mess-ups. I think about my worst moments as a mom and they do not hold a candle to the parents in this book, like telling a child he is a worthless piece of garbage and what not. I enjoyed this book because unlike all the other good communication books, it is almost entirely personal stories. For people who don't enjoy the big words or the theory of the good ...more
Sarah Whitney
What is our major goal as parents?
Still another woman glibly said, "To produce children who are, among other things, brilliant, polite, charming, neat and well-adjusted, of course."
Dr. Ginott looked solemn. It was obvious that this last comment had not amused him. He leaned forward and said, "This is how I see it. It seems to me that our large goal is to find the ways to help our children become humane and strong.
"For what does it profit us if we have a neat, polite, charming youngster who c
Goes into more detail then How to Talk So Kids Will Listen with more examples of Haim Ginott's principles at work with real examples gleaned from the parents from a group he ran. Although written many years ago, the principles are good for any generation. I want to add this book to my library. These two books are the best books on discipline I've ever picked up and they make sense. Anything that gets into strong-arming, controlling, and spanking children makes me cringe. This book is about disci ...more
Jan 20, 2009 Katie rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents who want to be great parents!
Shelves: parenting
I keep starting this book and cannot seem to get through it. Part of the problem is that I've read Haim Ginott's bestseller "Between Parent and Child." Ms. Faber studied with Dr. Ginott and basically is doing her own book on what he taught her. So I find it a bit repetitive for me. I also just read Dr. Wallace Goddard's book "Soft-Spoken Parenting" - he also worked with Dr. Ginott (Dr. Goddard helped update "Between Parent..." in 2003 actually) and I found that a bit repetitive too.

I don't know
The Harry Truman approach to child-rearing: Figure out what they want to do, and let them do it. Covers similar ground to the "How to Talk to Kids ..." but with fewer useful tips and more narrative drama.
This is a gem of a book and I'm sure will remain to be a classic. I read the authors HOW TO TALK.. and really enjoyed it and I'm glad I read this book too. This book resonates well with my beliefs and recognises that respect for both parents and children is key to effective parenting. I appreciate how it was narrated from the perspective of a parent, who like any parent has daily struggles who reflects about hers and others' parental experiences. I have read several parenting books and will cont ...more
Daily Alice
Mar 28, 2012 Daily Alice rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Parents of children of any age
Recommended to Daily by: Montessori teacher
Fascinating book full of great stories of parents dealing with day to day & more serious run ins with their children. The book is based on the work of Dr Haim Ginott and behind all the practical advice is the idea that parents & children should be treated with respect at all times and that a parents job is to raise a humane person who can live his life with strength and dignity. The advice is practical and simple and, if you're a parent or deal with children in any way, very useful. Now ...more
Salimah Dhanani
Very well written.I felt like a friend was talking to me about her experiences....
This is one of the better parenting books I've read. It was a good reminder of many great parenting ideals that often get left on the sidewalks when you're in the trenches of parenting.
My favorite parenting book. Filled with examples from the parenting class the authors were taking from Haim Ginott. I find it easier to tackle than his own writing, and I like it better than their later books (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, etc.). I think just because it is mostly stories of the group--his advice to them and their stories. It is a bit dated: the group is mostly stay-at-home moms,etc. I haven't read what looks to be an updated version. I re-read this regularly.
I found this book resourceful and helpful. Not only does it discuss understanding your child it discusses the feelings parents have and how they effect the way we parent (I found this part especially useful). The book is written in a style where there are lots of stories and examples which I find easy to comprehend. I will definitely read this book again. I highly recommend it for those looking for support and ideas when it comes to parenting.
Sep 06, 2007 Alexandra rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: everyone in the world
This is an awesome parenting book, the first glimpse I've ever had into what truly human(e) parenting would look like. But it's actually a book about communication and could be used in any context really -- work, love, family, anytime you have to do something with another person.

I like this book a lot better than how to talk so kids will listen, their other book on the same topic but it is less hands on/self-help and more theoretical/anecdotal.
A little dated. I have an older copy. Some ideas were good.
LET THEM SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS "Don't just do something, stand there."
Accept child's feelings. Don't downplay or disregard them.
Respect your feelings. Don't do things out of guilt or duty.
Don't blame. State what needs to be done. "The milk needs to be cleaned up."
*Don't try to be patient; be constructively angry
-YELL whatever you want them to remember i.e. the rule or what I want them to do or how I feel: I'm so mad right now! Put the toilet seat down!
-NEVER attack them personally i.e. I wish I'd never had kids!/ You're such a pain!
-Give a warning. i.e. I'm about to lose it; you have one more chance to ask me nicely.

GREAT BOOK! So down to earth. Other real life moms who have lived through real life problems and had real life short comings and overcame them with real life practical solutions. This book will help you to treat your children as humans while respecting you are human yourself.
Dec 26, 2011 HeavyReader rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents
I read this when going through my Adele Faber phase. Perhaps I thought back then (sometime in the 90s, I think) that maybe I would have kids of my own one day. That is not going to happen, but I remember thinking this book contained reasonable parenting advice.
Simple practical insight in parenting that makes one view what you thought you knew in a different light. I I was suprised to learn that over praising a child (I am very guilty of this) can be damaging. Glad I learned this now for my 4 year old.
Awesome ideas!! I need to find cheap copies to add some of these books to my Parenting shelf, and I want to make myself a cue card with things to try saying/doing and things to avoid saying/doing based on the ideas. So helpful!
I love the message of this book. And it provides such great reminders. When I hit one of those periods when every interaction seems so difficult, reading a bit of this book provides the grounding force I need.
I encourage all parents to read this together with How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk. These books have totally sold me on a new way of thinking about how to parent. Love them.
Sarah Birken
I reference the learning a I got from this book on a daily basis with me toddler, oh to know its okay to have a life, stand your ground and ask for what you want as well as give your kids what they need.
Manoj B
Pros: Profound lessons in human relations.

To read more about my review, click here
Basically this book was written by two women who took a class and then wanted to tell people about it. I would probably be better off reading a book by the guy who taught the class...
A little early for our family, but this book really resonated. It's written in a very accessible, novel-like format and many of the illustrative stories are quite touching.
Aug 29, 2008 Katrina rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents, caregivers
Recommended to Katrina by: Mothering magazine
I like that this book focuses both on parenting strategies as well as parents' mental and emotional health. It gave me a lot to think about and many, many good ideas.
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Adele Faber graduated from Queens College with a B.A. in theater and drama, earned her master's degree in education from New York University, and taught in the New York City high schools for eight years before joining the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and Family Life Institute of C.W. Post College of Long Island University. She is the mother of three children.
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