Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

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Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

by P.J. O'Rourke, Andrew Ferguson (Foreword by)

4.0 of 5 stars 4.00 · rating details · 1,756 ratings · 130 reviews

Called "an everyman's guide to Washington" (The New York Times), P. J. O'Rourke's savagely funny and national best-seller Parliament of Whores has become a classic in understanding the workings of the American political system. Originally written at the end of the Reagan era, this new edition includes an extensive foreword by the renowned political writer Andrew Ferguson -...more

Paperback, 240 pages

Published January 7th 2003 by Grove Press (first published May 30th 1991)

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Mar 19, 2012 William Cline rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book started off somewhat weakly, and I almost put it down without finishing. The first few chapters are a tour of the federal government, including all three branches and some of its political landscape (e.g., party conventions). To someone who reads the newspaper regularly and has a modest cynical streak (hello), there is nothing enlightening here. O'Rourke's observations mostly had me sighing and shaking my head ("Tell me something I don't know.") rather than laughing or learning.

The cha...more This book started off somewhat weakly, and I almost put it down without finishing. The first few chapters are a tour of the federal government, including all three branches and some of its political landscape (e.g., party conventions). To someone who reads the newspaper regularly and has a modest cynical streak (hello), there is nothing enlightening here. O'Rourke's observations mostly had me sighing and shaking my head ("Tell me something I don't know.") rather than laughing or learning.

The chapter on the federal budget was interesting. O'Rourke balances the (early 1990s) federal budget deficit with some quick arithmetic and common sense. I always enjoy reading a rational, costs-and-benefits approach to policy. His (conservative) politics are on display here, however, and the reader's own ideology will determine just how "common" he finds O'Rourke's common sense.

This is the book's weakness. In my observation, it's easy to dismiss ideas and opinions that come from those with differing politics. Likewise, it's easy to nod and smile when you hear something that seems to reinforce your own position, without really hearing what's being said. What's difficult is considering the underlying ideas rather than quickly stuffing them into either the Red or the Blue pigeonhole. The book's arguments aren't strong or specific enough to reliably push the reader into thinking more openly.

Parliament's strengths are its middle chapters, which discuss specific national problems and government efforts to solve them. The chapters on drugs and poverty are powerful and worth reading, no matter what your politics. The same goes for the closing chapter, an account of the local government in the author's own small New England town. I enjoyed these very much, and they made me glad I kept reading after the less interesting opening chapters. Those first chapters, along with the blurbs on the cover, might lead you to dismiss the book as just another "boy, isn't government dumb?" throw-away; but by the middle there's something deeper going on. You start reading thinking O'Rourke's just pointing fingers, but you gradually see how we're the source of all the absurd and disgusting things government does.

In a way, Parliament is the opposite side of the coin from Naomi Wolf's Give Me Liberty. Wolf tells us how American democracy is sick and what we can do to cure it. O'Rourke knows that in a democracy, the sickness is us.(less)

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Jan 31, 2007 bp rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was probably my 1st O'Rourke book. (Maybe second, actually, after "CEO of the Sofa".) I finished the book, put my hands in my head, and despaired of my career. I could never write like this. I wasn't fit to write a review about this. Not on Amazon, not in my own diary. In fact, I should never write again, ever, to self-mute my ineptitude in the face of such captivating style. Mr. O'Rourke was witty and cutting and brilliant and hysterical. And something else: a libertarian. This, more than...more

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Mar 12, 2008 David rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is the best non-fiction, humorous book I've ever read. I recommend to everybody. You CANNOT discuss farm policy without first reading the chapter on "Agriculture. Or how to tell your ass from this particular hole in the ground." Or the chapter when Ted Kennedy is shouting at the 88 convention, "Where was George?" and P.J. responds: "Dry, sober and home with his wife. At least he wasn't out drowning campaign volunteers."

I want to be P.J. O'Rourke when I grow up. Kinda conservative. Kinda dru...more

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Nov 28, 2008 Eric_W rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is the most devastating critique of government since H.L. Mencken, although O'Rourke is short on constructive solutions to most of the problems he exposes.
O'Rourke spent considerable time following around an unnamed congressman. O'Rourke, quite correctly, argues we get a bargain for our money. The average congressman has a budget of around $550,000 for staff, salaries, and expenses. That works out to only about $1.00 per taxpayer in his district. That's pretty cheap considering all the grip...more

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Aug 06, 2011 Jack added it

Shelves: comedy

O'Rourke is funny, but his humor is not dynamic. His political criticism is at times insightful, but for the most part unsophisticated and blunt, and his jokes often fall short because of this bluntness. He gives a pretty generic libertarian critique of government, ranting against government inefficiency without giving a viable alternative. He rails against the farm bill, entitlements, elderly monopolization of politics, environmentalists, and points out various absurdities in the government. Hi...more

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Feb 22, 2013 Dale rated it 5 of 5 stars

Originally published in 1991.
I read the 1992 Vintage Books paperback edition.

Dated but still has teeth.

P.J. O'Rourke goes after the ridiculousness that is the federal government with his trademark irreverent style in this 1991 book. Some of the commentary is dated (lots of talk about the forgettable 1988 presidential election with Republican George H.W. Bush going against Democrat Michael Dukakis. Also, the first one I voted in) but some of it is incredibly relevant. For example, the story of th...more

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Jan 29, 2012 David Sarkies rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: politics

I read this book quite a while ago. I remember seeing it in my local library, thinking that it looked pretty good, and decided to read it. At this time in my life I was pretty cynical about government, but in that generally uneducated type of way where we look at the politicians, think 'they really don't care about us' and label them all as jerks. I also remember the time as I was living in a swing seat and there was an election coming up, and I kept on receiving letters from both parties telli...more I read this book quite a while ago. I remember seeing it in my local library, thinking that it looked pretty good, and decided to read it. At this time in my life I was pretty cynical about government, but in that generally uneducated type of way where we look at the politicians, think 'they really don't care about us' and label them all as jerks. I also remember the time as I was living in a swing seat and there was an election coming up, and I kept on receiving letters from both parties telling me that my vote did count, and that my vote could swing the who system to either keep, or bring down the government. Woah, could little old me decide whether Paul Keating stays on as Prime Minister, or would he get tossed out in the trash heap (he stayed on).
Well, the question is, does our vote really count? The Economists say no, and suggest that voting is a complete waste of time as we get nothing out of it. I believe that the Economists are full of rubbish, simply because if we all stopped voting (which we can't do in Australia since it is compulsory) then we would be stuck with whatever government was in power, and if it turned out to be some brutal dictator (say, like Hitler, or Mugabe) then we would really be in trouble. What the economists don't understand (but Isaac Asimov did) is that it is a part of the mass psychology. That is, while individually my vote may not count, as a collective, it does. That is where we, as individuals, go out to opening discuss our views with others.
Many say that the three taboo subjects in Western Society is Sex, Religion, and Politics. The theory behind that is that all three subjects lead to arguments (with the exception of sex, as I shall explain). To me, sex is really the only taboo subject because that is simply an intimite act between two people, and it is something that you are not meant to go out and brag among your mates about (though I know it does happen, with regards to both sexes). However discussions regarding religion and politics I believe are important because it helps us understand each other and other people's world views. It just happens that many people are pretty stubborn in their world views and it is impossible to have a discussion with them because if they disagree they will berate you, and if they agree, they will treat it as a victory.
Now, I am a socialist. I believe that government is necessary (and indeed a necessary evil) but it's major flaw is not so much the tools that sit in parliament, but those of us who do not hold them too account. Unfortunately government is changed through mass movements and not necessarily through individual actions (though such things can happen). I have seen incredibly popular leaders suddenly fall out of the public's interest within minutes. However, I believe that it is the government's role to support and protect the citizens of the country, but I also believe that it is the citizens role to also support the country.
The final note on politicians, one that I really can't stand, and that is their double-speak. This is something that Orwell warned us about in 1984. With the advent of mass media, politicians (on behalf of their political parties) are able to get their message out much faster to a much wider range of people. However it will always been a standard, drafted speech, based upon a set of principles. While a government that stands firm (such as Howard's government) can be seen as strong, it can also be seen that those who don't agree are sidelined, even ridiculed. While both sides tend to be the same (and generally are only out to pamper themselves) I tend to find that the conservatives are much more inflexible, and in that way, unless you agree with then, then you are misguided at best, or an enemy of the state at worst. The important thing about a democracy is the ability to speak freely and feel free (within reason) to hold our own opinions without fear of persecution.(less)

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Jan 24, 2011 Darryl Mexic rated it 3 of 5 stars

Pithy, humorous, cynical, factual and troubling, “Parliament” explores Congress and the U.S. Government as of the early 1990’s. Neither Republicans nor Democrats are spared the acid pen of O’Rourk as he skewers and makes fun of Congress, our drug policy, our foreign policy, defense policy, Dept. of Agriculture, special interest groups, and us for allowing it all. Mostly he attacks the way our government spends money. (I would think O’Rourk’s head would explode, if it has not already done so, up...more

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Aug 11, 2010 Vincent rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: reporters

I am fairly sure I remember reading this 15 years ago and thinking it was not very interesting - a not very subtle attempt to recreate the style of Hunter S. Thompson but in the voice of a conservative.
O'Rourke begins by thanking all the usual suspects of the conservative movement in DC - like wacky Dana Rhorabacher and Chris Cox, who left Congress to run the SEC into the ground.
His book is divided into sections that look at the legislative, executive and judicial branch. Each time, he is drippi...more

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Nov 08, 2009 Jessica rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'd say this one's a solid 3.6. It was published nearly two decades ago so the info is dated (and so, apparently, am I. Woe is me) but a lot of PJ's observations are still pretty spot-on. The author is a funny guy. At times he gets a little absorbed in his own cleverness, but the comic vanity wasn't ridiculously frequent and there were at least a few genuine laugh out loud moments for me. And that's not an easy thing to accomplish since I am by nature more of a silent chortler. I especially enjo...more

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Jul 13, 2012 MisterFweem rated it 5 of 5 stars

I have to read PJ O'Rourke's Parliament of Whores every year just to keep myself grounded when I ponder politics. Too many potlickers out there wanting to get elected to office, or already in office, or railing against gubmint handouts and getting mad when they get laid off from their government jobs and too many people willing to say, hey, you've got money, let the government have it and boy howdy it'll fix things right up because the government can do everything right.

I'm not a libertarian as...more

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Jan 31, 2009 Chuck Russo rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

I love PJ O'Rourke, and this is a great book.

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May 15, 2009 Rich rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, politics, all-time-favorites, culture, favorite-authors

P.J. O'Rourke has the same political acuity as people like George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Thomas Sowell. He also has a funny vein so deep and rich that it seems endless. When his combines these two things you have some of the most razor-sharp political and cultural writing and humor ever to come along since Will Rogers, but using all the language mother washed your mouth out with soap for using. The result is uproariously funny.

Now, a conservative, O'Rourke refers to himself as "a former lon...more

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May 31, 2012 Cartavio rated it 3 of 5 stars

A very good case for the conservative point of view, a very compelling defense of small government. This book, however, is far from Aynrandian talibanism. Seems that, when you look closely, you can find honest polititians and even some Government agencies which do a good job. Don`t miss the part about the Toyota cars urban legend. As O`Rourke puts it, "We just can`t accept the hard truth that government officials did a good job whereas the public acted like a-holes" (I quote on memory).
I guess...more

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Dec 04, 2008 Leslie rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book, besides having some razor-sharp quips, is also a very well-argued indictment of government. As healthcare is the only large social issue about which I have a tremendous amount of knowledge, and I have become socialistic in my thinking, this book challenged a lot of my precepts. While poking fun at human folly and the idiosyncrasies of government, it also holds very steadily and convincingly to its thesis that big government is bad. It was completed in 1990, but the inefficiencies and...more

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Apr 12, 2008 Raegan Butcher rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a review of the book, not the audio book. Still, funny deconstruction of that monstrous behemoth, the useless American Government.

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Dec 31, 2008 Conrad Heibel rated it 4 of 5 stars

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll demand a voter recount. This book holds up even after several readings. O'Rourke is on top of his game.

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Oct 20, 2012 Mike rated it 4 of 5 stars

This one really surprised me. It's not as funny as, for example, John Stewart, but it is humorous. O'Rourke is supposedly "conservative", and some of his purported political positions were (I say were, because this is an old book, politically), but he has way too much common sense and perspective to fit into today's conservative camp, which has hardened views on everything. The last chapter of this book, where he takes a look at local government, is especially ironic. In this situation, where go...more

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Nov 26, 2011 Ensiform rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

This book, much of which is a patched-up collection of articles on domestic and foreign policy written for Rolling Stone, offers some guffaws, a lot of amusing cleverness and some very flippantly conservative "ideas" on "fixing" the government. Even though it's humor, the book's message is at times thought-provoking --- the sheer amount of waste and foolishness that goes on is pretty awful. It's not a real political philosophy, of course; O'Rourke contradicts himself on his own ideas of what
poli...more

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Dec 29, 2008 Robert rated it 5 of 5 stars

P.J.'s best. The idiocy of Washington dissected in a funnym funny way.

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Nov 22, 2008 Mike rated it 5 of 5 stars

The book to read on U.S. Government.

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Aug 14, 2011 Chris Watkins rated it 2 of 5 stars

I'm giving up on this book. PJ O'Rourke has good moments, but this is 20% insight, 20% humor of sorts, & 60% facetiousness. (I was going to write "stupidity" - but it's more the lack of an attempt to understand that bothers me, and O'Rourke isn't actually a fool).

I did skip ahead, and it improved, but not enough to make me want to read the whole thing, when there are better things to read. I do want to check out his book on Adam Smith though: "On The Wealth of Nations (Books That Changed the...more

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Feb 06, 2009 Keets rated it 4 of 5 stars

Hilarious.

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Dec 10, 2011 George Kelley rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a book I bought and read over twenty years ago when it first came out. The book is a bit dated with its political references and I have changed my politics since then. For years I was an avid right winger, and loved everything O'Rourke did, as he is a tremendous wit. Now I lean to the progressive side, and do not agree with many of O'Rourke's conclusions.

THat does not take away from the entertainment factor. O'Rourke is a true talent, in my opinion, and I admire his writing style and ski...more

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Apr 20, 2011 Bryan rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am too young to remember much, if anything, about the American government and its dealings in and before 1991, when Parliament of Whores was published. So I appreciated how detailed a picture O'Rourke painted of Uncle Sam, twenty years the younger. But even more than the painting itself, I appreciated his ultimately setting the canvas aflame with hilarious, biting criticism.

The main thing I love about this book, and all of O'Rourke's writing, is that it's not just some uninitiated blabbermouth...more I am too young to remember much, if anything, about the American government and its dealings in and before 1991, when Parliament of Whores was published. So I appreciated how detailed a picture O'Rourke painted of Uncle Sam, twenty years the younger. But even more than the painting itself, I appreciated his ultimately setting the canvas aflame with hilarious, biting criticism.

The main thing I love about this book, and all of O'Rourke's writing, is that it's not just some uninitiated blabbermouth opining on this-and-that. It's true journalism (and I know how much the author would detest this description, but hear me out). This guy dives headfirst into his subjects so he can pass on raw truths, not just opinions and pointed jabs. For instance, the chapter on poverty tells of the author tagging along on a Bronx crack-house raid with the Guardian Angels-- botched ending, forced getaway and all! But street cred isn't the only "cred". The cases made throughout the book are formed with cold, hard, cited facts. If so-called "journalists" today put forth half as much effort into observing and researching before opening their figurative mouths, we'd all be a lot better off. That said, the one-liners are fortunately quite numerous and provide sorely needed levity. Underneath, this is a well-researched piece about the inner workings of the three branches. In other words, you laugh and you cry; I'm not sure which more!

1991-and-previous events I'd heard, but knew little of, are detailed. It was a treat to digest these topics through O'Rourke's 100% effective bullshit filter-- oil price woes, the Afghan front at the end of the Cold War, the obscene agricultural subsidies, the Savings & Loan bailout-- hey wait a minute, that all sounds familiar! Here in 2011 we have our own oil price woes, war in Afghanistan, obscenely subsidized... most things (incl. agriculture), and a hot-off-the-presses financial-sector bailout. Reading this book was like reading the news. It just goes to show how much history really does repeat itself, especially enabled by such an inattentive, unvigilant, and gosh-darned forgetful electorate as America's.

So the things specific to the time period in this book are still worth reading, even if only for perspective on current events. But there is plenty of discussion of problems that haven't been solved by our Washington warriors, keeping these sections relevant. A failed drug policy, a failed poverty policy, yadda yadda yadda. In fact, if it's been designated a policy, it's probably failed. Which reminds me, there's Social Security discussion, too.

Yes, this affirms it. Parliament of Whores is like reading the news. But way easier; the problems seemed moderately addressable back then! O'Rourke even devotes a chapter, albeit tongue-in-cheek, to single-handedly balancing the budget. Although it's meant as a joke, I think the bigger joke (on Americans, anyway) is that his spending cuts are tenable. However, many of the programs on his cutting-room floor have only, oh, exponentially grown since then. This social spending growth in the past two decades is a bit hard to fathom-- that is until O'Rourke makes it believable with his chapters on special interests.

With an all-encompassing snapshot of Washington politics, and a guaranteed eight or nine laughs per page, Parliament of Whores is P.J. O'Rourke at his sharpest. (although a good question would be, when is he not?)(less)

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May 20, 2011 Velimir Randic rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Although writing on the problems of an ineffectual government from the perspective of 1989, it is amazing how much things HAVEN'T changed. The US still tends to throw it's military weight around without understanding the subtleties of foreign cultures. There's a chapter on foreign policy that deals specifically with the double-dealing of various tribal groups in Afghanistan, in 1989 the Russians were on the receiving end of this, now we are. Budgets and what to do about increasing medical coasts...more

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Jun 11, 2011 Upom rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: satire, politics, 20th-century, humor, washington-dc, libertarian, conservative, essays, quotable, 1990s, 1980s, nonfiction

I may not completely agree with O'Rourke's politics, but he is outstandingly funny. This sharp wit is merciless in his taunting of almost every institution in America, even making jokes about the Supreme Court, the Disability Act, and the AIDS Memorial Quilt. It's safe to say you are a stickler for political correctness, this is not a book for you. O'Rourke is also lovely in that he's conservative, but refreshingly thoughtful and moderate about the world around him. Much of the essay is journali...more

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Oct 14, 2008 Peter rock rated it 5 of 5 stars

I prefer to call them a parliament of street walkers or hookers.. or even "strawberry ho's" or for that matter escorts that are not in it for the money they just like to fuck. i call the senate the "john" the supreme court the "pimp" and the congress the happy hooker.. but then again i read this piece of literary trash when i was working on wall street in new york whiled i was a certified financial advisor for CNA insurance and underwriters my client was john k weber ... now john k weber is a ba...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Nicholas rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: politics

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Basically, it was a summary of all the ways in which people want benefits from the government without paying for them. He champions personal responsibility and hard work above all else. He seemed to be more of a libertarian than a republican. It was a good look at the absurdity of the American system of government. One tendency of O'Rourkes writing that I really liked was his pointing out that it is our fault that everything is so fucked up. We're the ones that are lazy and want to blame politic...more Basically, it was a summary of all the ways in which people want benefits from the government without paying for them. He champions personal responsibility and hard work above all else. He seemed to be more of a libertarian than a republican. It was a good look at the absurdity of the American system of government. One tendency of O'Rourkes writing that I really liked was his pointing out that it is our fault that everything is so fucked up. We're the ones that are lazy and want to blame politicians for being human. You can't have a system like ours and expect people to run it well.

The best parts are when between jokes he suddenly becomes serious and you realize that he just dropped bombs on you. Fucking great.

It was also funny.

Quotes:

"You kids today, you don't know how good you've got it. Why, back in 1979 inflation was so bad that nickles cost fifty cents, the Dow was minus a million, they were giving out food stamps as stock dividends and you couldn't walk to your garage without getting held hostage by the Iranians."

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die." (DEA's Perez)

"We're Americans. These are modern times. Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; it's a midlife vocational reassessment. If we screw up a marriage, we can get another one. There's no shame in divorce. Day care will take the kids, and the ex-wife can go back to the career she was bitching about leaving. If we get convicted of a crime, we'll go to tennis prison and probably not even that. We'll just have to futz around doing community service for a while. Or maybe we can tearfully confess everything, join a support group and get off the hook by listening to shrinks tell us we don't like ourselves enough. Hell, play our cards right, and we can get a book contract out of it. We don't have to be serious about the drug problem-or anything else."

"This is a democracy. We're free to change what our government does any time we want. All we have to do is vote on it. In the meantime, if people like me--rich, white, privileged, happy--cannot even bother to abide by the legal standards of their freely constituted society, of a society that has provided them with everything a civilization can be expected to provide, then those people deserve their drug problems and everybody else's drug problems, too. They deserve--I deserve--to have every crack addict in the country knocking on the front door saying, 'I lives here. Can I go in?'"

"You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money."

(less)

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Aug 17, 2012 Megan Blood rated it 4 of 5 stars

3.5 but I'll round up because it made me laugh out loud. Yes, he's conservative, but that doesn't stop him from attacking basically every facet of government he can think about.

His thesis basically boils down to this: our government is bloated and inefficient because we, the voters, have demanded it to be that way. We want quick fixes without thinking things through. We want everything for free, but we don't want to pay for it. Basically, it's damning all around, but very insightful.

If nothing...more

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About P.J. O'Rourke

Patrick Jake O'Rourke is an American political satirist, journalist, and writer. O'Rourke is the H. L. Mencken Research Fellow at the Cato Institute and is a regular correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly, The American Spectator, and The Weekly Standard, and frequent panelist on National Public Radio's game show Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! He is perhaps best known in the United Kingdom as the face...more

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“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.” — 8 people liked it

“Everyone with any sense and experience in life would rather take his fellows one by one than in a crowd. Crowds are noisy, unreasonable and impatient. They can trample you easier than a single person can. And a crowd will never buy you lunch.” — 2 people liked it

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