Sign in with Facebook
Loading...
Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years
by
Patty Cogen
A guide for adoptive parents from preparations for a child's arrival through the teen years.
Paperback, 448 pages
Published
May 7th 2008
by Harvard Common Press
(first published April 20th 2008)
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
This book is not yet featured on Listopia.
Add this book to your favorite list »
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
139)
I loved it. It seemed based on the author's experience and hard research. The author has hosted first year home groups for new international adopting families for years. She had so many practical tips and exercises to encourage bonding between parent and child, as well as many stories to help understand the reasons behind certain patterns of behavior in adoptees. She had the positive idea of their behavior being related to their survival techniques that worked pre-adoption but no longer help the...more
This book was recommended by our social workers, and on the whole it has been very useful. The suggestions about activities to promote attachment are very good, and the tone of the work is (understandably) serious and no-nonsense. Occasionally, I was rubbed the wrong way (rightly or wrongly) by suggestions about work-life balance, but perhaps this is because this issue transcends the adoption context in my life and is a longstanding one... Anyway, overall, I recommend, and of course make your ow...more
Since my spouse and I started learning about international adoption, all the pros have warned us about kids with "attachment issues." At best, they provide a hint or two to identify an attachment issue, rarely did we get much advice in the way of advice on what to do about it. This book provides some of the answers I was looking for. Until I read this book, I had no idea on how parents have helped their children cope with their special fears and concerns, as adopted children. I plan on re-readin...more
From the absurd to the sublime. You get a little of everything. You can cherry pick this tome for information and decide which advice is useful for your unique situation. I won't be refilling anyone's glass with Parent Juice or putting on trauma-goggles or playing Parent-on-a-Leash but I will remember to talk with my child about the adoption story from my child's point of view rather than mine. As in, yes, a long anticipated day for me but a terribly confusing and frightening one for her. I migh...more
view 2 comments
This was an informative book that I plan to reference for years to come. Of course we all want our children to be healthy, happy, and worry-free. Adoptive parents know that their children face many difficult issues. I must admit this book was emotionally draining because it brought up challenge upon challenge. (Quite frankly it was heartbreaking.) Hopefully by applying Cogen's techniques, I will be a better adoptive parent and help my children overcome their fears and insecurities.
This will be a good reference through the years, particularly when it comes to emotional and identity development in teen years. Offers some concrete strategies for dealing with the issues that arise from the origin stories of international adoptees and how they deal with unpleasant realities as they grow old enough to begin to really understand. Also identifies some physical, emotional and cognitive developmental issues that come from extended institutional living. The device of following five...more
This was probably my favorite adoption book. I love how she used individual cases from an actual group therapy group she facilitated to illustrate each point. It showed a wide variety of kids, families, issues. I re-read many of these chapters after Moses came home and will continue to go back to it as he grows up.
Full of some really helpful ideas, but awfully fond of Sensory integration psychobabble.
Ryan says this is the best book of all the adoption books we read.
There are some good tips in this, but as with most parenting books, take each tip and let your instincts and child's needs guide you. Some of the sleep suggestions were able to be implemented and some were not. The description of the five major types of coping skills is extremely helpful to have your in your parenting toolbox. I do recommend this book for any parenting or caretaker of an internationally/domestically adopted child; however, I would not say take it as the only and final word on ho...more
This was very informative. I do wish it had more actual advice on what to do with certain issues. It covered what issues could present themselves, but the resolutions seemed a little ambiguous to me. The author has been criticized for some of the terms she coined to describe her process or therapies, and I admit that they could be a little ridiculous, but the actual idea behind the therapies were very good.
It was an eye opener for some things, and emotionally taxing at times, but I believe it w...more
It was an eye opener for some things, and emotionally taxing at times, but I believe it w...more
I have read a lot of adoption books and done most of our requisite training, but this book was by far my favorite so far at giving concrete ideas for what to do about attachment/adoption issues instead of just saying what issues will arise. I loved the format too of following a few specific families throughout the book that were made from lots of different issues that the author had experienced in her time of helping families. Overall a great book and I am really glad to have it in my library fo...more
Another one I haven't read all the way through yet- it is set up more as a parenting reference. It has parenting information and tips from infancy to the late teen years, and is targeted at families who adopt internationally. The book is organized by the age of the child, & lists typical things the child is learning or going through at each age range, & tips on what you can/should do as parents at each stage. Not a page-turner, but does seem to have a lot of very practical information th...more
Must have for IA parents!
This is a great resource. We're just at the beginning stages of adoption and thus I have skimmed parts and read the beginning few chapters. It gives very specific suggestions on attachment and how to create a bond with your child through songs and games.
I've read most of this {except the sections about kids older than 5- that will come}, and it's been dog-eared, marked, highlighted, and ingested as best as possible without having our baby home yet. This is a book we will be referencing and rereading and talking about for years to come, so for now it gets shelved on my "read" list....
The Wilborns gave Kris this book for his birthday and I immediately stole it. I didn't read it cover to cover; I skipped some sections about the teen years.
This book is great and I foresee checking various passages a lot when we get to bring our daughter home.
This book is great and I foresee checking various passages a lot when we get to bring our daughter home.
Woah, It's like an encyclopedia of adoption! I found lots of things I identified with even though the majority of the situations did not apply to our case. Now, if only I can remember her advice and have the humility to try her suggestions.
Great book...this book had many helpful suggestions and included a "natural consequences" philosophy of discipline similar to Parenting with Love and Logic.
I will definitely be going back to this book.
I will definitely be going back to this book.
A must read for parents of kids who came from other countries. Will reference it continually.
Reading for work!
May 23, 2013
Noelle
marked it as to-read
May 14, 2013
Stacy Johnson
is currently reading it
May 10, 2013
Amanda Keay-strain
marked it as to-read
Mar 24, 2013
Trisha Brown
is currently reading it
There are no discussion topics on this book yet.
Be the first to start one »
