Crooked Little Vein

published	July 24th 2007 by William Morrow
binding	Hardcover
isbn	0060723939 (isbn13: 9780060723934)
pages	304
description	Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the Un...more [close] Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the United States, but not the one we all know about. This would be the real Constitution (the one with invisible amendments) created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fallback for their great experiment. Along the way, McGill gains a polyamorous sidekick named Trix, gets scared to death by what men do with warm salty water, and descends into a world where crime, sex, and madness all seem to be the same thing. Full of mind-bending style and packed with a wild cast of characters, Crooked Little Vein infuses Robert B. Parker with Kurt Vonnegut and the madness of the graphic-novel world. A surprisingly surreal treat, it will appeal to hardcore comic fans, mystery aficionados, and all readers looking for a riotous summer reading adventure. <p align=left> Sample Chapter One of Crooked Little Vein "Chapter One. I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug. It was a huge brown bastard; had a body like a turd with legs and beady black eyes full of secret rat knowledge." Crooked Little Vein puts you right in the gutter from the first sentence and doesn't let up. Sample the goods with a look at the complete first chapter, and see if you don't get hooked. [close]
date added	01-30-07 edit book

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Noah rated it:

11/21/07

Read in September, 2007

recommends it for: Warren Ellis fans, comic book fans, pulp fans, and fans of bizzare sexual practices

Boy, where do I start with this one? First off, let me warn those who find certain fetishes, or sexual behaviors, to be weird or disturbing, that this novel may bother you greatly. However, it also may change how you view "weird" sexuality. It's not that this book is only about sex. It's not. It's just mostly about sex. What people find pleasurable in a sexual context varies wildly here. We see everything from Godzilla porn, to saline injections into the testicles and labia, to ST...more Boy, where do I start with this one? First off, let me warn those who find certain fetishes, or sexual behaviors, to be weird or disturbing, that this novel may bother you greatly. However, it also may change how you view "weird" sexuality. It's not that this book is only about sex. It's not. It's just mostly about sex. What people find pleasurable in a sexual context varies wildly here. We see everything from Godzilla porn, to saline injections into the testicles and labia, to STD Russian roulette, to latex injections into the ass of a tranny hooker. Does this book attempt to bring into light some of the stranger sexual activities that go on under the surface of our society? Not at all. In fact, this book believes these things stand boldly in the light all ready.

If one were to try and nail down the main thematic thrust of this novel, it would be the nature of what we call "mainstream" in our culture. Our main character is Mike. Mike's the kind of guy life shits all over, so he tends to stay away from life whenever possible. Part of Mike's problem is all the weird stuff he encounters in his job. Mike eventually meets Trix who tries to change his perspective on his life. Most people would call Trix a weird chick. While Trix is a student of the "weird", she doesn't see it that way. In Trix's mind, that which is easily accessible by your average person, is as much a part of the mainstream as anything else. Here's an example. Anal sex was once a very taboo subject and it was nearly impossible for someone to find any film or photos depicting the act. Well, nowadays, it seems everyone has anal sex (slight exaggeration) and anyone can bring up photos or videos of this act in seconds on the internet, or go out to the store and buy a magazine or video. As odd as it sounds, anal sex is mainstream. It is through this criteria that Trix posits things like Godzilla porn and saline injections into ones testicles, which one can find info on in a few seconds online, is also now mainstream because of this fact. Personally, I'd never heard of the whole saline-in-the-nuts practice before. When I mentioned it to a coworker one day, he knew all about it. We're talking about a very straight shooter here too. He just happened to accumulate knowledge of this practice somewhere along the line, be it on TV, a book, or the internet. Frankly, whether you agree or disagree with this definition of mainstream is moot. The point here is to simply get you thinking about your perspectives. Personally, after talking to my coworker, I'm inclined to go along with the point.

Now, I don;t want to give you the impression this is all there is to this book. This is still a highly amusing hard boiled crime/detective novel in the vein of Mickey Spillane and Raymond Chandler. The thing that surprised me the most about this book (yes, even more than testicles the size of large melons) was how invested I became in the characters. You really care about this people, and Mike and Trix make a great team. I hope to see them again in future novels. For a first effort, Warren Ellis has really hit it out of the park....less

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