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Childfree and Loving It!
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Childfree and Loving It!

4.03  ·  Rating Details ·  295 Ratings  ·  40 Reviews
Recording the opinions of childless women from all over the world and letting this growing band answer their detractors, this investigation looks into the world of those who choose not to have children. Interviewees speak freely and honestly about their experiences, providing readers with both the many reasons people choose to live child-free and insight into what seems to ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published October 28th 2005 by Vision (first published April 28th 2005)
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Apr 08, 2009 Sherri rated it it was amazing
This is a great resource for anyone who has chosen to be child free (you're not alone!), as well as those who may be on the fence about whether they want to have children or not. I even think many parents could benefit from reading this, as it highlights many of the stereotypes, misconceptions and prejudices against child free people.

One of the things I liked most about this book is the way it underscores the fact that people who have chosen to be child free do so after giving the whole notion
Aug 03, 2014 Peacegal rated it really liked it
Childfree people are those who choose not to have children. They range from people who genuinely enjoy being around children--and just don't want any of their own--to those who find kids annoying and stress-inducing and don't wish to be around them at all. Many fall somewhere in the middle.

It perhaps takes the eyes of a childfree person to see how child-centric our culture truly is. A certain type of parent loves to "bingo" us, and the author of this book has been subjected to some especially gh
Elaine Meszaros
Dec 03, 2014 Elaine Meszaros rated it it was amazing
Yup, there it is. This is it, the perfect book for those without a maternal/paternal bone in their bodies (me). I like kids - in very small doses and at certain ages. However, I am more than happy to hand them back. Do I want any? Never! Touching on everything from the big global reason not to have children (overpopulation and resources) to the basic (don’t wanna!) DeFago talks about "the last taboo" - not wanting kids. For those of us who have no desire to spend sleepless nights, gobs of money ...more
Moni Smith
Apr 16, 2009 Moni Smith rated it liked it
Shelves: 2009
Like other reviewers, I appreciated the approach that the author took, that she wasn't anti-children. This is a book for people who just don't want to be parents. I wish there were more books like this out there. For years I kind of thought something was wrong with me because I just haven't had the desire to be a parent. I love children (I work with them) but when thoughts of parenthood come up I cringe. It nice to know that I'm not crazy and there are other people out there who feel the same. A ...more
Mar 30, 2009 Victoria rated it really liked it
I really liked this book for its honest approach. I wasn't reproachful to mothers for choosing that path but a gentle reminder that not everyone wants to choose a child-filled existence. It was refreshing to hear something other than "children are the best thing that will ever happen to you" or even worse "you'll change your mind when you get older" - yes, that may be true but for now, please respect my opinion and don't belittle me for not loving children. I could definitely relate to the idea ...more
Jill Dunlap
Mar 24, 2007 Jill Dunlap rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: anyone
This book gives people who don't want kids some really good coping mechanisms for dealing with other people's rude comments to their goal to remain childfree. It's a good idea for anyone to read this book - especially those who plan to have children. Because as she shows in the book, having children is the default, you have explain why you wouldn't want to have kids, rather than parents having to explain why they've chosen to have kids.
Nov 17, 2014 Rachel rated it it was amazing
Love love love that this is available and out there to validate my choices.
Jun 01, 2008 Wellington rated it really liked it

Good thing I gave myself a few weeks between reading this book and a gathering later this month I have with the new mothers in my life. Refreshingly, this book does not attack with fire breathing bitterness. It just asks politely to make a mindful decision before becoming a parent. Then, plainly offers some reasons to consider becoming child-free and publishes admissions from people around the world on the subject.

Aug 28, 2008 Jenn rated it really liked it
A breath of fresh air for those who choose to be happily childfree.
Mrs. Schonour
Jan 08, 2013 Mrs. Schonour rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
I read this book to gain perspective on having children and what it's like to decide not to have children. It was the most helpful book on the topic.
Cheyenne Blue
Apr 11, 2017 Cheyenne Blue rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book was preaching to the converted as far as I am concerned. I have never wanted children and never wavered in that stance. Ever. Now, I look back and feel unutterably grateful that I didn't fall into the parenthood trap. But that's me, and certainly isn't a majority of people.

The book outlines many usual and less usual reasons for remaining childfree: freedom and finances are up there at the top, but also covered are privacy, time to oneself, the perils of overpopulation, and the desire n
Another good book about living childfree. The tone of this one was definitely geared more toward those who have chosen to be or are leaning toward being childfree and definitely less of an exploration of both sides. I sensed little concern from the author to seem unbiased or overly sensitive to people who choose to have kids. This was published in the UK and is therefore pretty eurocentric (with the inclusion of Australia and New Zealand), but still applicable to the US. I felt that this book ga ...more
Jun 07, 2012 Allyn rated it it was amazing
A wonderful book that I almost couldn't put down until I'd finished. Though the author does express relief at her childfree lifestyle, the book is not written with any triumph or spite. It is a very honest, sometimes heartbreaking, look at what can happen when people have children for the wrong reasons, and the beautiful life you can lead without children.

I must warn that it is slightly depressing, particularly if you are a childfree person, to read about these parents who have children and abs
Andrea Dowd
Sep 22, 2010 Andrea Dowd rated it it was amazing
This is a great book for anyone without or with children, who may never want children or who have twenty! It touches on societal pressures of motherhood/parenthood and why it's important to support those who choose to go in a different direction. This is a great and positive read and does not condone the choices our childbearing friends and family members make! Rather, "Childfree and Loving It" makes a point to gather up historical studies, sociological reasoning, economic and environmental poin ...more
Jun 25, 2012 Jenni rated it really liked it
As someone who is childfree not only by choice but by circumstance, it's refreshing to see a book that explores the lifestyle without being too biased, or judgemental.

I would actually suggest that people who don't understand the childfree lifestyle read it too, because it sums up many of the reasons that we have for this choice concisely and fairly.

Though I felt at times there was an air of superiority on the part of the author, it was not pervasive or obnoxious, and it was, overall, a comfortab
May 18, 2013 Rosie rated it it was amazing
fantastic book so easy to read. read it in 3 days flat. so refreshing to read not alone in my feelings since i was 10 yrs old- which i knew i wouldn't 'grow out of' as the adults said but by 13 i knew i wouldnt because i was so adament- and it balances it out very nicely with the pros and cons if you are undecided with many great tips for dealing with the inevitable "questions" which i will certainly use in future. thankfully I never was, because this is as second nature for me, as natural for m ...more
Apr 07, 2015 Sami rated it it was amazing
I enjoyed the thorough, unapologetic nature of this book. It's rare to have such a large amount of information (with resources at the back!) about being childfree in one book. I think this is a nice book for those of us that have made up our minds about not wanting children, as well as a tool for those who are not sure and want to make an informed decision.
Michael Hoskins
Jul 21, 2016 Michael Hoskins rated it liked it
This was a good, self affirming book for people who don't want children. I didn't much when I was younger, but eventually came around. But it gives good and solid reasons why it is not abnormal practice to forego kids and live a single life or as a childless couple. Recommended to me by a relative who is childfree.
Jan 24, 2017 Sam rated it really liked it
Finally! This is the book I've been looking for, for the last decade or more. Many books about not having kids include people who didn't get around to it or couldn't have children. I wanted a book just about those of us who CHOOSE not to have children and the reasons why and this book is exactly that.
Jun 13, 2016 KP rated it did not like it
Shelves: books-read-2016
I was hoping for a book that would give me some nice interviews with people who chose not to have kids, with ideas about what they did with their adult lives that were childfree. What I got instead was, yes, interviews, but largely angry ones complaining about how easy parents have it and how much governments and workplaces and society "gives" them, which... was really not my cup of tea.

While some of the interviews were nice, with people just laying out their reasons for not wanting kids, or no
Apr 23, 2013 Roxanne rated it really liked it
Before reading this book I declared myself childfree years ago. I was curious about it though, this book, as I have not encountered many books on the topic. It was a light read. Mostly essays and such from parents and non-parents alike.

Many things were brought up. From the "selfishness" of choosing a childfree lifestyle, overpopulation/overcrowding, preferring to bear your own children over adopting (to each their own but it enrages me when people justify not adopting by, more or less, comparin
Jun 02, 2014 Rachel rated it really liked it
I really enjoyed this book and how it dealt with the topic of choosing to be childfree (and the point that it really is a choice). The author did a really nice job of mixing solid research with examples from interviews and discussions about how both parents and non-parents feel about their decisions. When I think about the reasons I'm childfree, so many of them are personal and difficult to discuss without feeling offended by people's reactions, or inadvertently offending people who don't unders ...more
May 13, 2011 Dinah rated it liked it
Shelves: sociology, discardian
Fun and full of fascinating viewpoints—all over the map—on having children. Suffers a bit from a very UK-centric colloquial voice and cultural references; even with my foundation of watching lots of British shows on U.S. public TV and having lived a year in the UK, some references were lost on me. Ironically, the very day I finished it, a younger female soon-to-be in-law gave me the old "Oh wait and see! You'll change your mind!" pressure to have kids. Somehow I restrained myself from saying wit ...more
Jun 25, 2013 Anna rated it really liked it
This book says it all. Filled with stories of people who don't have children and those who do but wish they didn't, it points out all the reasons for staying as far away from bundles of joy and god's greatest gifts as possible.

Most of the childfree people have nothing against children. They just want none of their own. I really don't know why that decision seems to bother parents so much. Hopefully things are going to change in the future and we will all be free to make decisions about our own l
Apr 26, 2013 Wendy rated it really liked it
This is one of the better books out there about the childfree lifestyle. It gives real life testimonials and perspective from all sides: childfree by choice, parents who are happy they are parents, undecided, and parents who wished they hadn't had kids. Something I found interesting, there were no childfree who regret their decision. It's not because the author chose not to cover them in this book, it's just that nobody identified themselves that way. I found that quite interesting as there were ...more
Denise Cameron
Oct 30, 2016 Denise Cameron rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
It took me a while to get into it, but there was a lot of interesting stuff in this book.

I was shocked at all the hostility she's encountered, but then this book was published 11 years ago. I think there's less hostility now, though of course I talk to less random people than she does, as a journalist.

I know more people who are quietly childfree (they don't have or want children, but they don't really talk about it). And I've never wanted children.
Nyx Cole
Jan 13, 2011 Nyx Cole rated it it was ok
Its been a really hard book to get into and stay on topic of reading it.

I don't know what I think of the book other then I am glad that I didn't waste what little funds I have on buying it, to me getting it from the local lib was the best option by far.

Guess the book might be good for some people, but I didn't find reading it good or useful.
Karen Hunt
Dec 14, 2012 Karen Hunt rated it liked it
Fantastic book outlining the benefits of being childfree. It’s very one-sided and there aren’t a lot of stories of people who love having children, but given most other books are one-sided the other way, it’s a nice change.
Jan 25, 2015 Kristina rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction, 2015
Some of the information in this is a bit outdated (book is 10 years old now) and also UK specific as that is where the author lives but otherwise a good book on perspectives and how being childfree is nothing to be ashamed of. Enjoyed.
May 29, 2007 Paige rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: anyone considering parenthood
This was a good, short book showing both sides of a childfree life and parenthood. She really got some candid insight from real people.
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Any other books about choosing a childfree life? 3 38 Sep 06, 2011 05:04PM  
  • Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice
  • Baby Not on Board: A Celebration of Life Without Kids
  • Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or Chance
  • The Childless Revolution: What It Means To Be Childless Today
  • The Baby Boon: How Family-Friendly America Cheats the Childless
  • Beyond Motherhood: Choosing Life Without Children
  • Maybe Baby: 28 Writers Tell the Truth About Skepticism, Infertility, Baby Lust, Childlessness, Ambivalence, and How They Made the Biggest Decision of Their Lives
  • The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World
  • No Kidding: Women Writers on Bypassing Parenthood
  • I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood
  • No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not to Have Children
  • Single State of the Union: Single Women Speak Out on Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness
  • Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After
  • I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage
  • It's a Jungle Out There: The Feminist Survival Guide to Politically Inhospitable Environments
  • Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself
  • I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids
  • Sisterhood, Interrupted: From Radical Women to Grrls Gone Wild

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