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How to Get a Date Worth Keeping

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3.91  ·  Rating Details ·  503 Ratings  ·  85 Reviews
It stinks, doesn't it. But what can you do to fix it? More than you've ever imagined. You can put an end to the datelessness. Starting today---right now---you can begin a journey that will bring fun and interesting people into your life, broaden your experience of others and yourself, and lead you toward that date of all dates---a date worth keeping.

This book is for YOU i
...more
Paperback, 235 pages
Published February 14th 2005 by Zondervan (first published September 1st 2004)
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Janet
Jan 20, 2012 Janet rated it it was amazing
This book is my favorite dating book, and I'm not even Xtian. Mostly as a joke, I checked this book (along with the very secular Four Man Plan) out of the library in 2008. These books ended up changing my approach to dating.

So often when I was on dates, I would feel distracted rather than being present with my date, as I tried to decide based on one or two or three dates whether I wanted to marry the person, and it's just not possible. Obviously there are some people who are right out, and ther
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Mikejencostanzo
Mar 19, 2008 Mikejencostanzo rated it really liked it
Shelves: reviewed
When I was single, I read a number of Christian books on dating from what I can remember:

Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot
Quest for Love also by Elisabeth Elliot
I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
Lady in Waiting by Debbie Jones
Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
...and one other book whose title I can't remember...

Of all of these books, I think Elliot's were the most inspiring to me. I appreciated her acknowledgement of the legitimacy of dating, but also her caution
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pianogal
Aug 09, 2012 pianogal rated it liked it
So I got REALLY mad at this book (and its writer). Most of the stuff in here is good, and I can tell a difference in life by doing some of it. HOWEVER - the meeting five guys a week task (to the point where they have your name and know how to contact you later) does not work for me. I get the concept and ya know what? If I could meet five guys a week by myself I wouldn't need to read this book, would I? It's always so easy for extroverts to say, "Hey, go meet people" but for the rest of us, that ...more
Lauren
Feb 21, 2012 Lauren rated it it was amazing
Kind of blew my mind. It is mostly about finding out who you are, making sure you are whole and drawing complete people to you. Learning how to be open to people while guarding your heart is applicable in any relationship in life. Also, I got 5 numbers in the first 2 days. It's a tough philosophy to be brave all the time. Maybe I will actually get a date worth keeping. In the meantime, it's interesting getting to know who I really am. I'm not actually lonely, undesirable or ugly. I'm fulfilled, ...more
Jengizer
Sep 17, 2009 Jengizer is currently reading it
I dont think I am going to finish reading this book its making me mad becasue the author is bascially putting women down for waiting on God to bring them a man. He also acts like he has all the answers to getting people dates. In this book is a program where he asks the reader to do certain things like keep a log on how many guys they meet in a month and then add up the numbers and find out what is wrong with you for not getting lots of dates. There could be nothing wrong with you becasue if God ...more
Chris
Feb 03, 2011 Chris rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I listened to the abridged audiobook version of Henry Cloud's How to Get a Date Worth Keeping. This version is much shorter than the unabridged book, and has a very crisp and efficient feel. I'm not normally a fan of abridged books, but this one really works. The author reads the book himself and does an excellent job. He's very enthusiastic and personable.

I almost didn't submit a review for this book. Since the whole point of the book is to give a practical approach to dating it doesn't seem fa
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Anne
Jan 07, 2013 Anne rated it liked it
A family member bought me this shortly after I went through a break up. Although I didn't necessarily relate to every single lesson in each chapter, I really enjoyed this! It opened up my eyes to habits I have that may prevent me from meeting a potential someone. For example, I tend to go for certain types of guys and sometimes write-off other "types" of people right away without even giving them a chance. One of the most helpful chapters in this book talks about becoming the person who you are ...more
Camille
Dec 23, 2016 Camille rated it really liked it
Title is cheesy af, but it's actually a pretty great book. Unlike the many Christian books that philosophize about dating, or the many secular websites full of thinly veiled pick-up artistry, this book gets practical without encouraging denigration of the opposite sex.

The advice has a bit of an extroverted bias, but it's worth considering at least as a challenge. For example, I definitely never had 5 number-worthy conversations in a week, but I did make an effort to talk to five new people, whic
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William Xil
Oct 07, 2016 William Xil rated it really liked it
Este libro me ayudó a darme cuenta de algunos paradigmas que tenía respecto a las relaciones y las citas. Especialmente me gustó la cantidad de testimonio que el autor comparte para ejemplificar cada uno de sus puntos. Si me llevo una lección de este libro es que las citas no tienen como objetivo el matrimonio (sí, esta frase me sonó a herejía cuando la escuché). Las citas son una gran oportunidad para crecimiento espiritual y personal; en ellas puede uno aprender de otras personas, de uno mismo ...more
Melissa
May 03, 2011 Melissa rated it it was amazing
Having read a couple of Dr. Cloud's books previously, this one looked interesting to me. I've been meeting guys lately, but they are not usually what I'd call "quality men." So I got the book from Audible and have been listening to it. Dr. Cloud promises to have you dating in 6 months, so I'm journalling my progress on my OKCupid page. I need to make friends more than anything else, but I often fall into the same ruts as he discusses int he book, and as many others. I mentioned this book to a fr ...more
DeeAnn
Jun 28, 2012 DeeAnn rated it really liked it
My overall impression: Go on a date with anyone once, even twice. Learn what like, what you don't. And keep in mind that it's not about finding the right person but about being the right person. As someone who is married, I've seen myself change, my spouse change and the personalities/bodies of other couples change. I don't get the impression from Cloud that he's saying "settle" but he is saying be realistic, be open. And above all (my thoughts, not his) marry your best friend. Cuz everything el ...more
Christina
Apr 10, 2008 Christina rated it really liked it
Lately I've been driving myself crazy with dating books, but this book is pretty solid. Definitely worth picking up. I guess the one big takeaway for me was that if you date someone you normally wouldn't consider (given that they are a safe person) you could really learn something about yourself and maybe even discover something you'd like about a person you never thought you would (or didn't like).
Brian Jones
Mar 05, 2013 Brian Jones rated it it was amazing
Having grown up in the I Kissed Dating Goodbye era, this book actually offers practical advice on dating, relationships, and how to grow in character. It's a book I wish I would have read years ago.

Often Christian dating books are written by pastors pretending to be psychologists, whereas Henry Cloud is a one and offers real insights into how dating can help you grow.
John Mark
Oct 02, 2013 John Mark rated it really liked it
It shared a different perspective. Totally opposite of IKDG by Joshua Harris (A book I grew up with) but this book is for adults and it got better and better with each chapter. A lot of practical wisdom. Considering buying myself one. Thank you Craig for randomly lending me this book! I learned a lot and it changed my views for the better.
Elizabeth Lewis
Aug 23, 2016 Elizabeth Lewis rated it really liked it
Great. Will use in my Life,Love and Dating class. Good for discussion.
Kate
Jan 14, 2010 Kate rated it liked it
Some good suggestions in this book, but I left it feeling like something is wrong with me because I am still single.
Jo
Sep 13, 2012 Jo rated it really liked it
Didn't agree with every word, but helpful for those who wonder why there seems to be nothing happening in the relationship arena. Dare I say it was insightful and eye-opening? I do. :)
Moira
Dec 20, 2010 Moira rated it it was amazing
I just recently discovered Cloud's work and really like his take on things.
Tayler K
May 07, 2017 Tayler K marked it as to-read
In mid-April, I made a comment on a HONY post which blew up. This was one of the replies:

Riza Joy:
I was in the same boat but realised, after a few kind words from friends, that a big part of it was me. I was so closed off... kind of as a defence mechanism. I didn't want to waste time dating unless I thought it could be serious but at the same time it consumed my thoughts and every guy passed through a 'is there potential?' test. A friend suggested a book "How to get a date worth keeping in 6 mon
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Lori
Jul 02, 2017 Lori rated it it was amazing
I may not agree with every single thing the author said, but I'm willing to try some of the advice listed in the book.
James
Jun 23, 2016 James rated it really liked it
Idea: don't be (what I'd call) covetous, obsessive, about each date leading to marriage. Rather, date to get to know people. (Why call it "dating", then? And not rather "getting to know people"? And go to the effort to get to know a lot of people? I guess because the book has its market.) This way you can experience many different kinds of people. You can look at dating as an opportunity to work through personal issues, develop virtues, become more skillful interpersonally, etc. This is a good i ...more
Previn Verghese
Aug 07, 2016 Previn Verghese rated it it was amazing
My friend recommended this book by the famous Christian psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud. He encourages you to enjoy dating for the sake of the date. To have fun and get to know someone better and enjoy their company as simply spending time with another human being. Often he says people start thinking during the first few dates if this person is right to marry and start judging them by a subjective superficial evaluation system. He said that marriage isn't the point of dating. Sometimes that can be ...more
Seth
May 26, 2012 Seth rated it did not like it
The author urges singles to make note of all single adults of the opposite sex who they meet and what their reactions are. I can't go around carrying a pad and pencil all the time and take notes on every eligible woman I see. I would not have time to do anything else. I can't see any real person doing that.

The author urges singles to date five people at once just to get to know what you like about others. If I was one of the five, and I found out, I would feel like I was being used. I would dump
...more
Carla
Feb 01, 2008 Carla rated it really liked it
Shelves: readin2005, booksiown
I swore of dating books (or at least, reading dating books in serious search of guidance) years ago. After devouring I Kissed Dating Goodbye, I Gave Dating a Chance, The Ten Commandments of Dating, Lady In Waiting and who knows what else, I thought I knew enough about dating (at least from a Christian perspective). Granted, I haven’t done much dating since reading any of those books, but I didn’t think I needed to.
But when I saw that Henry Cloud was publishing this book, I knew I’d be suckered i
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Justin
Nov 03, 2014 Justin rated it liked it
Overall I thought this was a practical book for anyone who may be in a dating slump who wants to change that. Cloud offers some very practical ways to change how you approach dating, however he seems somewhat unsympathetic to those who may struggle to implement the changes he suggests. For example, he suggests changing one's traffic patterns in order to meet new people which works for those who are naturally more outgoing. Anyone who is introverted may not appreciate some of his strategies as mu ...more
EJ
Apr 02, 2014 EJ rated it it was amazing
Despite the nauseating self-help title, this book is worth the read. In my experience of Christian dating there are two kinds of people. The all or nothings- either you are together and serious or you go your separate ways. The second type: you avoid dating all together due to the unnecessary seriousness of Christian dating.

Dr Cloud addresses all the misconceptions and pressures the Christian culture puts on dating. He's not a fan of Joshua Harris's book, I Kissed Dating Good-bye which makes m
...more
Patrick
Apr 24, 2014 Patrick rated it it was amazing

Christian guys are told, "Don't date anyone who does not have marriage potential."


Christian women complain, "Christian guys don't date us." What's wrong with this picture?


Henry Cloud clears it up. He says "Date ANYONE once, or maybe twice." Keep your values; stay true to yourself; and just get out there!


He says the goal of dating is NOT to find a mate. He says the goal of dating is to experiment, learn, and be of service.


See dating as a wonderful time to find out about other people and what the
...more
MaryAnn
Jan 19, 2015 MaryAnn rated it really liked it
This book recommended to me by a friend who received it as a Christmas gift. I will say right off the bat that it was NOT what I expected it to be. I was expecting fluff like "be sure to touch his elbow so that he'll know that you're interested." None of that cheesy stuff. Instead, this book teaches true principles about agency and emotional health, but applies them to the world of dating. I am an LDS Christian and appreciated that the author shared my values and often quoted the Bible as a sour ...more
Nikki
Jul 11, 2013 Nikki rated it it was amazing
This book revolutionized my dating life. The tools he suggests for you to get more dates really does work! If you do what he suggest you will find yourself picking great men and like the book says finding a date worth keeping. I highly recommend this book for any Christian single, whether you have a good dating like or none at all. It will make your dating life flourish. Every friend I know who has read this book and done what Dr. Cloud suggests has been in a relationship within a year. I just f ...more
Leah
Jul 21, 2010 Leah rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
Ok, I wanted to be mean and nasty and make fun of this book, but I have to tell you that I was pleasantly surprised by it. It's written by a Christian, but is pretty much the polar opposite of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" which we all thought sucked anyway. The book is totally practical, giving actual steps you can take to be approachable (as opposed to reclusive and bitchy. Note to self: work on this), suggesting ways to meet people, and giving really great guidelines on what to look for in someon ...more
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public semina
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More about Henry Cloud...

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“Rich loved taking care of women. He would swoop in like Tarzan swinging on a vine, rescue them from whatever situation they found themselves in, and be their hero. He would make all the decisions, and he would be strong and dependable. "What a catch!" they would feel.

But they did not see his inability to allow them to disagree or have an opinion. He could not yield to another person. He could not show weakness or vulnerability. He would make up for that inflexibility by being a very attractive "strong man" to women who would want to be swept off their feet more than they wanted a real person.

So, they would be a perfect match—until he would see the other side of a passive, compliant woman. She would be sneaky and not tell him exactly what was going on. Then, lo and behold, one day she would really "mess up" and have a wish contrary to somthing he wanted or valued. Then, from his perspective, she had "changed" and had become "selfish." "She used to be nice, and now look!"

But in reality, this is not what had happened. She had not changed. When they first met, she showed only half of who she was, hiding the other half, which would come out in sneaky, indirect ways. After a while, it came out directly, such as when she disagreed with him. Then he would cry, "Foul."

So they both got what they asked for. In her compliance, she attracted a controller. In his control he attracted an adaptive person who had a secret side and was indirect. They were co-conspirators, and it always blew up.”
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