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Enslaved by Ducks

by Bob Tarte (Goodreads Author)

3.33 of 5 stars 3.33 · rating details · 1,305 ratings · 349 reviews

The book that "Entertainment Weekly" called "hilarious," "Publishers Weekly" declared "a true pleasure," "Booklist" called "heartwarming," and the "Dallas Morning News" praised as "rich and funny" is now available in paperback.
When Bob Tarte bought a house in rural Michigan, he was counting on a tranquil haven. Then Bob married Linda. She wanted a rabbit, which seemed inn...more

Paperback, 308 pages

Published October 1st 2004 by Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill (first published 2003)

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Mar 08, 2008 Ann rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: anyone who loves animals!

Recommended to Ann by: It was a Christmas gift from Katie - thanks!!

Shelves: comedy, non-fiction, animals

I loved this book! It made me laugh many times over and made me cry, too. I even learned some things about animals!
The book spans 10 years of the author’s (Bob’s) life-events related to animals. Each chapter is devoted to a certain animal, or an animal event. It’s fun to see Bob’s changing attitude towards animals. He starts out as a begrudging pet owner (though it’s quite obvious that deep down he adores his rabbit!), and ends up gloating about his numerous pets to innocent bystanders at pet m...more I loved this book! It made me laugh many times over and made me cry, too. I even learned some things about animals!
The book spans 10 years of the author’s (Bob’s) life-events related to animals. Each chapter is devoted to a certain animal, or an animal event. It’s fun to see Bob’s changing attitude towards animals. He starts out as a begrudging pet owner (though it’s quite obvious that deep down he adores his rabbit!), and ends up gloating about his numerous pets to innocent bystanders at pet marts. While there is always a tad of the begrudging-act in Bob, it’s so transparent that it’s quite easy to tell how enamored he is by his pets. He gives a very honest telling of this, too, poking fun of himself quite often (almost always) throughout the book, and repeats numerous times how much his wife, Linda, handled most of the really hard stuff when it came to caretaking.
It took me a few chapters to really get into the book, but once you learn who Bob is, and understand his writing wit and humor, the book is excellent! Even the acknowledgements are hilarious! I felt that I really knew Bob and Linda, and frankly their pets, too! There are great descriptions of the animals, their characters, and expressions! I can actually vouch for his description of rehabbing baby birds – and if the rest of his stories are as accurate as that, then it must be a very honest book! And I could completely sympathize with many of his emotions.
So long as you don’t mind a few (very few) cuss words, or a few insights in the animal “facts of life,” or the fact that (at least, as I surmise) the Tartes’ are vegetarians and make a couple of references to the carnivorous folk of the world, then I highly recommend this book!
We also get a glimpse into Bob’s visits to his psychologist and his dealings with Zoloft – but somehow he manages to always tie it back in with his animals.
I’d be the last person to say that a cat doesn’t have a soul, or that a dog can’t love you, but I’d probably be lying if I didn’t say that I was hesitant to believe such things about birds. Bob’s totally changed my mind. I love the ending of the title chapter and the book itself – I think those are the two places where we really see what animals mean to Bob, and how much they can impact our lives.
I highly recommend reading this book – and I highly suggest you read it with your pet nearby!:D

****
Glowing review to follow!:D
****
My Christmas book from Katie. Sounds quite amusing and fun!:)(less)

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May 30, 2008 kelly rated it 1 of 5 stars

Recommended to kelly by: Chinaberry

Shelves: yuck, adult-non-fiction, book-group-reads, couldn-t-finish

0 stars - OH I HATED THIS BOOK!!!! This is the first book that I ever threw away from me in disgust. CHinaberry said this was a humourous memoir but I found nothing funny about an idiot that gets animals as pets and doesn't educate himself on how to care for them. Not to mention the whole depression/mental health angle. I have several animals (with a bunny named pepsi who was the love of my life RIP from cancer...) and when I read about their beautiful white duck being eaten even THOUGH THEY KNE...more

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Mar 02, 2013 Suzanne rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a difficult book to rate and review. So many mixed emotions, good, bad and ugly. I read several other reviews on the book and agreed with all of them, regardless of their rating. I hated and loved it, so I'm rating it in the middle.

It took me quite awhile to get into the story. Early on some paragraphs were so wordy it was ridiculous. I really shouldn't have to look up the definitions of several words in a paragraph, especially when reading about ducks. But the more animals they acquire...more

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Jan 06, 2009 Tracy rated it 2 of 5 stars

I read this book because I had read several over-the-top, RAVE reviews. I was pretty bored through most of the book, although there were a few laugh out loud moments. There were also a few moments that should have been LOL, but were poorly delivered. What kept me from liking it was the visual imagery of 4-6 inside birds, 3 inside bunnies, and a few occasional inside ducks. That is more poop and animal mess than two people could ever hope to clean up. Additionally, they fed their birds food right...more

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Jan 03, 2013 Laura rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: animals

I love my dog and cat stories but it is wonderful to breakaway from time to time and read a book about a different variety of pet. True to the title, Enslaved by Ducks is primarily about our feathered friends in many forms with guest appearances by rabbits, raccoons, and other furry creatures. Though, it is respectable that the author and his wife accepted animals into their lives, I was a little bothered by the impulsivity in which they did so particularly in cases where it wasn’t a rescue situ...more

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Aug 09, 2012 Wendy Welch rated it 5 of 5 stars

Okay, so I WROTE a book that's coming out Oct. 2 with St. Martin's Press, and that has REALLLLLLLY slowed down my reviewing of others. So it's very nice to get back in the saddle - or get down off the duck - with this book, because Bob Tarte and I connected in the social media author world and that's how I found out about his three books in the first place.

Which is basically the equivalent of: disclaimer - I know this guy and he's a nice bloke so of course I'm going to like his book just on the...more

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Aug 08, 2012 Mia rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book was recommended by Amazon as a book about 'the pet you didn't necessarily want turns out to be exactly what your heart needs'... and I needed a lighthearted read after slogging through some dense books, so I downloaded it. It starts off pretty much as expected - a couple buys a couple of pets that they don't really know much about and the trials and tribulations make them crazy but in the end, they love the little buggers. Okay, fine.

But then it just goes on... more pets turn into more...more This book was recommended by Amazon as a book about 'the pet you didn't necessarily want turns out to be exactly what your heart needs'... and I needed a lighthearted read after slogging through some dense books, so I downloaded it. It starts off pretty much as expected - a couple buys a couple of pets that they don't really know much about and the trials and tribulations make them crazy but in the end, they love the little buggers. Okay, fine.

But then it just goes on... more pets turn into more pets turns into even more pets. These people don't know much about these animals and choose most of them based on aesthetics. So, I cut some slack because I remember what the late 80's/early 90's were like. There was no internet and if you wanted to know something about animals, you had to go to the library or buy books (Barnes & Noble didn't used to let you hang out for hours, using their store as a research library) or ask someone at a pet store or a breeder. So, okay, maybe they weren't super informed at first. But after the - what? - 12th duck? The third time they returned a parrot they couldn't handle? The fact that they had to start visiting different breeders because they didn't want to admit that they were negligent in caring for the ones they had? (who died as a result) When they had to start going to a breeder that was a self-proclaimed petting zoo-slash-butcher (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT)? They should have known better.

Some of the individual anecdotes were funny, which is why I'm giving this 2 stars. But like other reviewers, I found it EXTREMELY hard to be sympathetic and understanding when the same mistakes (namely impulse-buying pets) are repeated over and over and that they refuse to follow common sense protocol for handling their animals (everything from not disciplining them to feeding them people food to allowing them to run around the house).

I actually had to stop reading after their ducks were attacked and killed by raccoons and yet they KEPT FEEDING THE RACCOONS and encouraging them to stay in the area. And then they called over an owl, just to see what would happen! Ugh.

Sorry to sound so judgmental, but this was a hard book to read -- it wasn't a mea culpa or even an apology, just a "hey look at our crazy farm of animals! We don't know what we're doing!" (less)

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Mar 11, 2012 GoldGato rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nature, non-fiction, pets, spring, birds

The title of this book definitely made me buy it and, thankfully, the story inside fit the expectations. The author recounts his life after he moves away from the bustling city to placid (so he thinks) rural living and the eventual burgeoning family of animal pets galore.

I'm sure some readers will get upset by the seemingly random way that pets are adopted or given back, but the story is well told and for me, anyway, rather humorous.

Certainly I felt some kinship with the author. Hummingbirds dic...more

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Oct 06, 2011 Susan rated it 3 of 5 stars

It's hard to imagine someone living with so many animals: bunnies, ducks, geese, turkeys, parrots, etc. This couple goes from no animals to one bunny and things just take off from there. I would not be very happy with all the work that is required, let alone having to figure out who gets along with whom so that they are penned properly and released for exercise without trouble occurring. There were times when it was very confusing just reading about it without having to engineer it! There is a l...more

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Mar 19, 2010 Wendi rated it 5 of 5 stars

I bought this book for my father-in-law two Christmases ago. He is a husband, a step-father, a step-granddad. His step kids, both adults, live with him and his wife from time to time depending on what's going on in their lives. I believe his step-son's girlfriend and her/his baby live with them half-time but the grandbaby is there most of the time. Their house is surrounded by dogs and cats and other critters that wander onto their property from time to time. When my husband was young they had g...more

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Jun 27, 2009 Jan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Warning: psycho pet lovers in this book! An amusing true story of the author's reluctant ventures into pet ownership, and what an addictive experience it can be for some people.
Bob and Linda Tarte owned a house and land in the country. She wanted to get a bunny. He acceded; after all, bunny droppings are easy to clean up. Linda thought the bunny was lonely, so they got a cat as a companion to him, and then, just to brighten the room, they added a pretty yellow and black canary.
It wasn't long...more

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Jun 21, 2009 Gwen rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'm torn about this book. I would have given it 4 or 5 stars based on it being a really charming, humorous tale of a city-raised, petless guy marrying a woman who loves animals, and their adventures moving to the country and getting rabbits, various indoor birds, geese, ducks, and turkeys. On that level, I found it really enjoyable reading.

However, I was disturbed by their attitude toward animal ownership in a couple of ways. They repeatedly get animals on the spur of the moment, with no foretho...more I'm torn about this book. I would have given it 4 or 5 stars based on it being a really charming, humorous tale of a city-raised, petless guy marrying a woman who loves animals, and their adventures moving to the country and getting rabbits, various indoor birds, geese, ducks, and turkeys. On that level, I found it really enjoyable reading.

However, I was disturbed by their attitude toward animal ownership in a couple of ways. They repeatedly get animals on the spur of the moment, with no forethought or planning, usually from breeders or pet stores. Then they repeatedly end up taking the animals back after a few days, or giving them away a few months later, when they turn out to be hard to handle or don't get along with their other pets. I can see this once or twice, but the consistent "and then off we were to get this animal we'd only heard about 5 minutes before" attitude started to annoy me. You'd think they might learn from previous mistakes to be a little more deliberate in their animal-collecting decisions. They also give their animals away to strangers, also often breeders, and make them promise not to ever sell or eat the animals, which seems to assuage their consciences. Well, one, when you give away an animal, people can do whatever they want with it. And even if they don't sell your particular ex-pet, if it's a breeder, they're certainly going to dispose of the babies in some way. So it seemed naive to be all "they promised to give him a good home."

Also, in a few places I felt that the kind thing to do would have been to euthanize an animal that was suffering rather than let a sickness or injury drag on, with the animal struggling to walk, unable to eat on its own, gasping for breath, and so on. It's one thing to try to treat an animal for a while, but there comes a point that it might be the time to kindly euthanize it. And it felt like they felt that was cruel when it might have been nicer.

So that's why I'm torn about the book: charming and humorously written, but with some issues that disturb me.(less)

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Jul 11, 2011 Tonya rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, human-animal-relationships, memoir

Mr. Tarte was funny many times in this book, but I found his whining more annoying and his need to go on Zoloft due to a rabbits death gives me pause and make me think some people should not own pets for their own health, let’s face it our pets are going to be loved and die before us with the exception of some reptiles and parrots.

I grew up in a home where my mother wanted pets and my father kept saying ‘no’ even after the pet and cage moved in, he usually gave up the fight after a week of the...more

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Sep 09, 2012 Daniel rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Drawn in by the witty title of the book and my love for animals, I picked up Bob Tarte's debut novel. And after reading the first couple of chapters, I wasn't sold. In fact, I had to force myself through a majority of the book (around the first 10 chapters out of fifteen), until it became less of a chore and more of an enjoyable pleasure read.

The main problem with the novel is that each chapter (standalone short stories to be fair) is far too similar to one another, it lends to a strong sense of...more

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Mar 16, 2009 Mariah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Ok, so when I am not reading books about Fundamentalist Mormons and silently fuming to myself about their insanity, I look for some lighter reading material. I came across this at the library and read it in a few days. It's basically about a guy and his wife who gradually adopts a houshold of birds and rabbits. Some they take in that are hurt or abandoned, some they adopt or buy. Now, I am not a big "bird" person; as pets, they seem constantly nervous and kind of freak me out. I'm wary of anythi...more

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Dec 13, 2011 Heather C. rated it 3 of 5 stars

I can't remember where I heard about this book, with it's weird title and awful cover. (This isn't the cover on the copy I read). A newly married couple begins taking on pet after pet--birds, rabbits, cats--and these chapters describe the madness. I was surprised at how much I liked this book because I have ZERO tolerance for naughty pets, and even less (if it were possible) for people who allow the misbehavers to ru(i)n their lives. Two things saved this book from some serious eye-rolling and a...more

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Feb 24, 2013 Lynn G. rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-read-in-2012, animals, kindle-books

Enslaved by Ducks is an unexpectedly witty and subtle paean to the ups and downs of being owned by pets, particularly animals that are somewhat unconventional in the annals of "petdom" if you will. This book is neither scholarly or literary, but is intended to be neither. It is an entertaining tome, a fun read, and a peek at what life is like for the person who undertakes, wittingly or otherwise, to keep a winged menagerie.

Most of author Tarte's humor is self-deprecating and there are a few laug...more

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Jan 02, 2009 Karin rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: animals, birds, ducks, families, geese, funny, nonfiction, pets, rabbits, borrowed-from-the-library

Bob Tarte describes in great detail how his pets came to run his home and his life. He and his wife own a fluffy and feathery variety of animals: geese, ducks, exotic birds, rabbits, turkeys, a couple of cats, and occasionally take in and raise wild animals in need of assistance. They started out with just one rabbit and one bird and things escalated to a point where it's mostly out of their control.

I loved reading James Herriot's stories about his veterinary practice and the odd folks and case...more

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Mar 19, 2012 Terri rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-books-read

A quick read by a man whose wife brings home various creatures to care for--mostly bird breeds. Parrots, parakeets, dove, canary, starlings, geese, ducks and turkeys to be exact. And then of course there are bunnies to add to the mix and two cats. How the heck did he let those birds out with cats in the house? Curious...

I would call this light reading for entertainment bordering on lunacy. The author is somewhat neurotic with definite depressive tendencies. But then, if I were to take care of a...more

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Mar 04, 2009 Rebecca rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: animal lovers, those owned by their pets

Recommended to Rebecca by: NPR

I really enjoyed this tender and hilarious book about going from “the head of the household to the bottom of the pecking order.” After they move to rural Michigan, Bob and Linda Tarte accumulate all kinds of friendly and not-so-friendly pets over a ten year time span. The author and his wife don’t really set out to end up with ducks, geese, rabbits, parrots, turkeys, cats, parakeets, doves, and canaries, and they make lots of mistakes (including neglecting to do the proper research on their anim...more

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Jun 25, 2012 Dee rated it 2 of 5 stars

I read a good bit of this and just didn't find it as "hilarious" as advertised. Someone who loves animals would appreciate it more I'm sure, but all during the first chapter, I kept thinking "how dumb do you have to be to keep a pet rabbit in your house who chews electrical cords in half, tears up carpet, chews furniture and hides and gets into things non-stop as well as leaves bodily fluids all over--for two years!!!!!?" The next chapter was about an obnoxious bird. Life is too stressful to int...more

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Sep 11, 2011 Mitch rated it 2 of 5 stars

The premise of the book is interesting enough. The author explores the mini-adventures and disasters that followed every pet adoption he made with his wife. They own a large plot of land, so they have no reservations adopting exotic birds, ducks, bunnies, and so on. The author writes with a strong taste of sarcasm and makes a few witty observations along the way.

Unfortunately the book is bogged down with repetition. Each chapter roughly follows the same pattern: wife suggests adopting new anima...more

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Nov 23, 2008 Jill rated it 2 of 5 stars

What I learned from this book: Don't own ducks. Or parrots. And when someone doesn't listen to you when you say no, leave that person, before they start adopting turkeys too.

Tarte was amusing at first, and probably would have continued to amuse me if I'd continued to read his book a couple pages at a time during my bus commute. But I finished it all this weekend (I'm getting low on reading material), and it was a bit much, all at once.

His obsession with the animals, coupled with the repeated Zan...more

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Mar 31, 2012 Kristen rated it 2 of 5 stars

I wanted to love this book. With a title and a cover like that, how could I not love it??? The author has a great writing style. His descriptions of the various characters (animal and human) had me laughing out loud several times. The book doesn't really have a plot, it is more just a collection of anecdotes about the various animals in his life. Definitely something that I would normally really enjoy. But the reason why I didn't love it is because I couldn't get past the complete irresponsibili...more I wanted to love this book. With a title and a cover like that, how could I not love it??? The author has a great writing style. His descriptions of the various characters (animal and human) had me laughing out loud several times. The book doesn't really have a plot, it is more just a collection of anecdotes about the various animals in his life. Definitely something that I would normally really enjoy. But the reason why I didn't love it is because I couldn't get past the complete irresponsibility of the author and his wife as they repeatedly bought animals that they had no idea how to care for. They would go into a pet shop, and impulsively buy an animal with no knowledge of what to expect from it when they got it home. This resulted in them often returning the animal to the pet shop within a week or so when they realized they didn't actually want it. That really bugs me. I don't think anyone should buy a pet without doing your homework first. We have been researching parrots for over a year now, and we still haven't bought one because I haven't narrowed down which species would be best for us. I can't imagine just running down to the nearest petco and buying a bird because I liked the way it looked. Another thing I didn't like about the author's stories was the fact that he seems to have a problem euthanizing animals who clearly are too sick or injured to have any sort of quality of life left. I think if you are truly an animal lover, the last thing you want to do is watch an animal suffer when a quick trip to the vet could put it out of its misery. Another thing that bugged me was the author kept waiting for some sort of tragic accident to occur before he would build the proper cages for the animals. Why did a beloved duck have to get killed by a raccoon before he closed the holes in the fence? Why did a bird have to get a toe bitten off before the author realized it wasn't very bright to have a free flying bird in a room where it might land on a bigger bird's cage? ANd speaking of free-flying birds, that was another thing that I couldn't get past in the book. I just had this horrible visual of what the inside of this guy's house must look like with all those birds and rabbits pooping everywhere. Ugh. So anyway, to sum up this book, yes there are some funny stories and great descriptions of quirky characters. If you don't get bugged by irresponsible pet owners, you might really love this book.(less)

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Jan 23, 2011 Tom Franklin rated it 5 of 5 stars

I read non-fiction to learn about other places and times. I read non-fiction to travel along with someone in their journeys and share in their trials. I read non-fiction to vicariously experience lives other than my own.

In the case of "Enslaved by Ducks" I read it to learn that there are people in the world far, far crazier than myself.

The story of Bob Tarte's menagerie starts, innocently enough, with the acquisition of a single, surly rabbit. Within a few short chapters Bob's wife, Linda, has...more

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Oct 22, 2012 Mitch rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: biographical, humor

I enjoyed this book- the author has some pretty funny lines that he flings in there on a consistant basis- but due to the length of the book and the depth of this couple's obsession with animals, I started to feel that their daily lives were a bit beyond acceptable levels of eccentricity. (Meaning now it seems a bit unhealthy and weird instead of just a bit over the top and funny.)

Perhaps I would have felt differently if I had been taking the correct dosage of Zoloft, as the author does.

This i...more

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Feb 27, 2012 Ann rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, birds, fowl, light-reading, nonfiction

Well, I didn't find it laugh out loud funny, but it was chuckle ready reading. I enjoyed the first part, but eventually got tired of poor put upon Bob getting stuck with all these animals that kind hearted Linda brought home. Linda, his wife, is also poor put upon Linda, having to deal with city boy Bob who is not exactly the best fence maker/carpenter she could have married.

One funny part (even laugh out loud funny) has a friend bringing her niece to visit. Alas, bunnies are roaming, and the v...more

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Aug 28, 2012 LB rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

"Hardly a day goes by that we haven't regretted his return." That was the sentence that finally convinced me to stop reading this horrible book. The author and his wife bought a rabbit - on a whim, and disliked him. All the rabbit did was cause them trouble, yet after he escaped and disappeared they somehow missed him so much. Then they decided to get a bird - yet again on a whim without any research or extra thought - and hated him. They returned that bird, got another bird (again... see above)...more

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Sep 09, 2012 Tim rated it 2 of 5 stars

1 1/2 Stars: Well I just finished this book and am still waiting for the hilarity that other reviews offered. If a story about a couple that knows little about pet ownership, does little research about the animals they are about to acquire, and then write, complain, and in some cases endanger said animals is your idea of funny then this book is for you. This reads more like a what not to do if you are considering a pet then a comical heart warming story of pet ownership. There where some good mo...more

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May 31, 2011 Paula rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 50-book-challenge

I am not an animal-lover. I do like animals and I think that they should be treated with respect and care. Go ASPCA! I have had a number of pets in my lifetime, but only 1 at a time. I cannot fathom ever having 2 parrots, a dove, and three other kinds of birds living in my kitchen while I fed them from my dinner plate, in addition to raising a cat, 3 rabbits, 3 or 4 different kinds of ducks and some turkeys, all at the same time. Even individually, for that matter. I think Bob Tarte and his wife...more

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About Bob Tarte

Bob Tarte lives on the edge of a mink-infested, shoe-sucking swamp in West Michigan with his long suffering wife, Linda. Bob is the author of the books "Kitty Cornered," "Enslaved by Ducks," and "Fowl Weather."

Every Friday from 12:30-1:00 pm ET, one of the cats from "Kitty Cornered" answers lifestyle questions from other cats. Catch the LIVE cat comedy @BobTarte #Ask6Cats.

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Books by Bob Tarte

Kitty Cornered: How Frannie and Five Other Incorrigible Cats Seized Control of Our House and Made It Their Home

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