An insightful and eloquent guide for parents who wish to raise their children with unconditional love, and empower them to be self-reliant, express...
read full description
reviews
Feb 11, 2012
Stephanie
rated it: 
Naomi Aldort's parenting advice in Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is for everyone who seeks to authentically show their children how much they love them by treating them with dignity and respect. Most useful to me is Aldort's "S.A.L.V.E." formula, which is a method of communication with your child (really, I think it would be useful in any relationship) wherein you do the following:
S = Separate yourself from your child's behavior and emotions with a Silent Self-Talk. The More...
S = Separate yourself from your child's behavior and emotions with a Silent Self-Talk. The More...
Jul 29, 2011
Aoife
rated it: 
I read this back when my oldest was very young and it seemed chock full of hurtful ideology that made the mother nothing but a guilt-riddled self-denying martyr and the child a slave to his or her own whims. I put it aside, cringing a little at her harsh tone. Then recently a friend informed me that Aldort had falsified her credentials and was a fraud. There's a lot more information on this blog:
It's a three part investigative series that proves without a doubt that Naomi Aldort has More...
It's a three part investigative series that proves without a doubt that Naomi Aldort has More...
Aug 02, 2009
Nicole
rated it:
So far it's all right. I think it has a lot of valid points regarding not shutting kids down. She promotes letting kids express themselves, and validating their emotions instead of getting caught up in your own reaction. I think it's a complicated relationship... you don't want to create combative situations with children, but you also want them to do things like eat their dinner... I'm confused.
----Finished reading---
I'm passing it on to my sister, who is rethinking her More...
----Finished reading---
I'm passing it on to my sister, who is rethinking her More...
Dec 17, 2009
Kate
rated it: 
So helpful for helping our children--and ourselves--handle our emotions.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Aug 12, 2011
Chris
rated it:
Naomi Aldort's Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a must-read for any parent. The thrust of the book is that children deserve the same respect and understanding that we give to adults. But then it's jam-packed with information on how to do that, even when everything looks absolutely hopeless. And with real-world examples that show just how well that respect actually works, it's easy to see why giving your children this respect works so much better in the long run than the disciplinarian
More...
Jun 03, 2009
Tanya
rated it: 
This wasn't a compelling read for me, I admit I got 1/2-2/3 of the way through and ran of renews at the library, I didn't like it enough to want to check it out again to finish.
It was an interesting approach to parenting, in my opinion too child-centered (never say no parenting), and not very realistic. It would probably work better in a small family with 2 children that are a couple of years or so apart. I prefer parenting books that give more concrete ideas for influencing beha More...
It was an interesting approach to parenting, in my opinion too child-centered (never say no parenting), and not very realistic. It would probably work better in a small family with 2 children that are a couple of years or so apart. I prefer parenting books that give more concrete ideas for influencing beha More...
Jun 15, 2011
baca statusnya mb Ekawati Indriani P di FB: "Saya baru membaca beberapa lembar awal buku ini dan sangat merekomendasikan untuk orang tua yg ingin memiliki kualitas komunikasi yang baik dengan anaknya. Bisa diaplikasikan untuk anak dari usia bayi sampai remaja. It's a TREASURE! Step-by-step guide, bahasanya simple dan sangat bisa untuk dilakukan. Tidak banyak teori, tp bs langsung dipraktekkan. Oh, nyesel banget baru tau kalo ada buku parenting sebagus ini."
kayaknya bagus bgt
kayaknya bagus bgt
Dec 01, 2009
K
rated it:
I just reread this. I found it more helpful now that my daughter is older than when I read it previously. It definitely gave me some new ideas about how to deal with my daughter's anger and hatred. However, I still found a lot of the advice unrealistic. I would love to never have to take my daughter on errands when she didn't want to go, drop everything I need to do around the house to attend to her desire for my company, etc..., but I don't know how to balance that with having food available, a
More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Feb 24, 2010
Cara
rated it:
I really enjoyed this book. While I did not agree with everything in it, found it thought provoking. It facilitated insights into some of my own parenting behaviors, how my own history effects my reactions to my children, and helped me to feel more choiceful about my parenting choices. I took notes while reading this and am continuing to explore myself and my reactions related to some of the authors discussions. Really, what more can you ask for from a parenting book.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Jul 21, 2008
Ryan
rated it:
I'm still reading through this slowly, a bit at a time. I'm appreciating this hard look at how we respond to our children's behavior.
The key insight seems to be: separate yourself from your child's behavior. There are four other steps in the SALVE formula presented here, but that's the one that gets the most column inches, and certainly it's my starting point in my own parenting.
I don't like all the therapist language and emphases; I think it is condescending and takes aw More...
The key insight seems to be: separate yourself from your child's behavior. There are four other steps in the SALVE formula presented here, but that's the one that gets the most column inches, and certainly it's my starting point in my own parenting.
I don't like all the therapist language and emphases; I think it is condescending and takes aw More...
Sep 07, 2011
Cortney
rated it:
Aldort has some good points and suggestions, but this wouldn't be a parenting book if it didn't come across as a little self-indulgent and heavy handed. I took a lot away from reading it, but much of it seems unrealistic and unfounded. The worst part being, of course, the rather stilted but supposedly real dialogue between parents and kids. It's worth reading, but make the suggestions work for you, don't just take it as a parenting bible.
Jan 24, 2011
Duk
rated it:
This is one of the parenting books that I will reread every year or so just to remind myself how to be a good parent. This book is really filled with great advice which I couldn't agree more.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Oct 18, 2011
Sam
rated it:
Great advice for raising children, great advice for being with people. It's got it's own philosophical approach that not all will agree with, but there is plenty to take away.
Dec 11, 2010
Mary
rated it:
This is an extremely confronting, thought-provoking and doubt-inducing parenting book. If things are going great with your kids and your parenting, don't read it. But if you're in need of an attitude adjustment and a new way of looking at living with kids you might give this a try. It presents a radically different way of living with kids than the conventional wisdom dicatates in regards to discipline, rules, and communicating with kids. I am unable and unwilling to adopt Aldort's view exact
More...
Oct 09, 2009
Amanda
rated it:
Probably one of the most important parenting books out there. A must read for parents who want authentic loving relationships with there children.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Apr 17, 2009
This book was amazing and totally changed the way I respond to relationships in my life, be it my husband, children or friends. A wonderful book!
0 comments
like
(2 people liked it)
Apr 15, 2009
great book....simple to read but transformative; lots of insights to bring to my relationship with my six year old in particular...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Oct 13, 2010
Dblazar
rated it:
A superbly written book with really great ideas for how to parent. Awesome title says it all. A very good book!!!
Sep 07, 2010
Lisa
rated it:
This is the single best parenting book I have ever read. Kind of new-age-ish, but that is my style. Life changing.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Feb 25, 2009
This book is really helpful in understanding how hard it can be for a child to deal with a new sibling.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Jul 13, 2009
Kfooshee
rated it:
FANTASTIC read for anyone that has a child in their life! Opened my eyes in many ways and encouraged me and also validated a lot of what i have been doing. Discusses Talk that Heals and Connects, Love, Self Expression, Emotional Safety, Autonomy and Power, and Self Confidence. The last sentence of the book says it all...."Support your child's sense of self-worth daily by affirming who she is, by voting "yes" for her direction, and by expressing your love and appreciation authent
More...
Jan 01, 2010
Katie
rated it:
I would give it 4.5 stars if I could. A much needed book that I have been searching for. I know it will be referenced frequently - well worth the $10 I paid for it and then some!
Feb 27, 2010
Lisa
rated it:
Interesting approach, somewhat along the lines of the "Never say 'no'" school of parenting, and at times too touchy-feely. So far I've put it down more than I've picked it up, but I do agree with the basic recommendation: to check our initial emotional reactions before reacting to our children, explain our needs to them, understand their needs, and try to reach an agreeable middle ground rather than constantly forcing our own wills on them. It is a useful method for ALL human interacti
More...
Oct 19, 2010
Julie
rated it:
Definitely some good ideas in here, but the main premise seems to only make sense for people with one or maaaaaybe two kids. Let me tell you, I'm trying, but it's just too time-consuming for four kids. Or, I should say, too time-consuming when all of your kids aren't just this side of perfect, which a lot of the book seems to assume. I did find some really helpful thoughts though, most especially about pausing and taking a moment to see the situation from a kid's point of view.
May 29, 2009
Why: Everyone in my little universe seems to be reading it, so I take that as good...
Dec 20, 2010
Emily Mellow
rated it:
Normally I devour parenting books, specifically anything about attachment parenting. This book was bad though. I ended up skimming it for the italicized examples of good parenting techniques, which were somewhat useful on their own, because the rest of the text was very dogmatic and seemed designed to make one feel as if you have to change everything about yourself to parent in the right way. I would say it espouses therapy-based parenting. As much as I'm sure we could all use some therapy in or
More...
Apr 02, 2010
I bought this book after going to a workshop that Naomi Aldort presented. I don't know that I am going to adopt all of her philsophies, but I am already greatly appreciating her insights on how to love your chilren unconditionally and how to talk to them in a way that empowers them, instead of threats, punishments, etc. I feel very grateful for coming across this at this time of my life.
Jul 21, 2010
Jetsettica
rated it:
Be loyal to your kids. Be a badass defender of your kids. Dont systematically undermine your kids. Funny that we should need a book to tell us this but in this culture we really do. Aldort is a badass mom who totally makes you listen to your gut and helps you to part with those furtive modes of violence that your learned from your own parents and from teachers growing up. revolutionize your parenting and make the world a better place for yourself, your kid and everybody else.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Apr 24, 2010
Sadie
rated it:
I had really enjoyed the book Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn, but I felt that it was more of a "why" book and not so much a "how to" book. This is the "how to" book I was looking for. Sure, some of the suggestions are unrealistic (especially if you don't have much of a support system where you live), but the basic principles of respecting your children and treating like a person are principles that every parent should reflect upon at the very least.
Dec 26, 2011
Carisa
rated it:
Really enjoyed this. Her parenting philosophy is grounded on respecting children and some of what she suggests may be seem extremely foreign to most people. It goes way beyond not spanking or not yelling at your children. She touches on the head-games and patronizing attitude we heap on kids without even knowing it and the issues we have that stem from our own childhoods that cause us to act this way. But she by no means advocates permissiveness.
