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Men in Love

3.69  ·  Rating Details ·  552 Ratings  ·  36 Reviews
An extraordinary, explicitly masculine journey, Men In Love develops a startlingly honest portrayal of what it means to be a man in contemporary America. Here are the unexpurgated dreams, fantasies and fetishes that excite and obsess men today. In creating this historic study, Nancy Friday listened--without disapproval, apology or censorship--to the candid responses of tho ...more
Paperback, 544 pages
Published August 10th 1998 by Delta (first published January 1st 1980)
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Friday is pretty much unsufferable and I'd cheerfully string her up and apply a cane to her for making such idiotic assumptions about women, and engaging in quite some downtalking to men.

The 4* are exclusively for the guys who shared their innermost sexual selves freely. This was an interesting insight into the psyche of the American male.

My advice: skip most everything written by Friday and stick to what the men write.

ETA: I reread a couple of letters this morning, and have to say that it quite
Aug 28, 2007 Erin rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
nominally nonfiction, bad erotica masquerading as pseudo-psychology - if reading letters by men who fantasize about having sex with their mothers and sisters is your thing, then this is the book for you -- ps if you want to read erotica, read erotica - don't get your jollies from crappy psycho-social "insights"
Suzanne Portnoy
Nov 04, 2007 Suzanne Portnoy rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Everyone over 18
Shelves: history
Having read Nancy Friday's MY SECRET GARDEN year's ago, I was keen to see how this study of male sexual fantasies compared. Well, firstly, it's a completely different type of books simply because upon reading it, I realised how different men and women think about sex. Now you'd think that being an erotic author, I'd know this and mainly I do, but this book still came as a revelation. Sure, some of the stories now seem a bit dated but nevertheless, the overall feeling one gets is that there are s ...more
Jul 29, 2011 Sharon rated it liked it
Some of the fantasies were quite intresting and could get me worked up, there were definatly some that quite frankly scared the hell out of me.

Not for those who aren't broad minded.
Feb 27, 2010 Sophia rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sex, gender, non-fiction, 2010
Nancy Friday, better known for her writings on female sexual fantasies, turns her attention to the opposite sex in Men in Love. A notice in her last book garnered about three thousand responses from American men, of which about two hundred are included in this volume. Written in 1980, the language may be a bit dated, but not the subject matter. Rather than merely an unfiltered compilation of letters detailing male sexual fantasies, Friday synthesizes them around a given theme--say, oral sex or s ...more
Christy Stewart
This is nothing less than an anthology of sexual baggage and my hat is off to the men who wrote in with such honesty and courage.

Friday mentions in the introduction that she has digested sexual taboos from women as empowering and progressive but when faced with the same taboos in men's fantasies she was scandalized and disgusted. To me, her realization of that is the real lesson of this study.
May 24, 2011 Dinah rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sexuality
Many more holistic views of the woman (rather than assemblage of hot body parts) and scenarios (more than just "she's my secretary/boss" level of setup of the scene) as key parts of fantasies than I'd expected from past things I'd read about men's relationship to porn.

I'd love to see a collection of fantasies similar to this and My Secret Garden done today with the internet having changed so much in our awareness of the diversity of fantasy life.
Kate Aaron
I think the idea for these books is fantastic, and the fantasies themselves eternally fascinating, but Friday's ham-fisted brand of psychology drives me up the wall!
The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health
“Men in Love” is based on more than 3,000 responses (asked by Nancy Friday) with men discussing their sexual fantasies, desires and passions. In it she urged men to send her their sexual fantasies (“anonymity guaranteed”). The result? A deeper look into men’s psyche’s. It’s thought-provoking, arousing and for some people, contains unattractive fantasies. The wide range of fantasies explored in this book will guide every reader to a provocative point, urging them to expand upon what turns them on ...more
Sep 24, 2013 Asli rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

The only reason I gave this book 4 stars as opposed to 5 is because it was a little too disturbing for me. I didn't know so many men consciously fantasised about their mothers...

Aside from that, this book is an excellent insight into thoughts that you will most likely never hear a man communicate to you in reality. I really enjoyed reading the unusual fantasies some men have and the way Nancy accompanied each fantasy with a very intelligent psychoanalytic explanation. It is brilliant.
Aug 05, 2009 Missy rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: erotica
For the record, I read this book when I was way too young; I pulled this and Clan of the Cave Bear off my parents' shelves at some point in junior high (it disappeared not long after that, heh). Then my best friend in college was kind enough to get me a copy for Christmas one year - I had been planning to get her a copy as well. Anyway, I haven't looked at it in a while - I remember some of the material being interesting/sexy, but leaning toward "Yikes" for the most part.
Melissa Johnson
Sep 29, 2008 Melissa Johnson rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Anyone open who loves erotica
Recommended to Melissa by: Elizabeth Raven
Okay, so a lady recommend that I read this book to understand the male psyche when it comes to lust, love and sex. It is a compilation of letters written to the author by men of all ages, backgrounds, etc. describing their fantasies as well as their sex lives. So it's kind of like reading educational erotica. Interesting indeed...
The Scarlet Pervygirl
Jul 31, 2008 The Scarlet Pervygirl rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: preteen girls
It probably says something terrible about me that I find the men's sex fantasies in *Men in Love* much more offensive and about six times more arousing than the women's sex fantasies in *My Secret Garden.*
May 18, 2009 Sue rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: romance
I found this fascinating, even though some of the fantasies disturbed or frightened me. Very eye-opening.
Kerilynn Pederson
Jan 06, 2008 Kerilynn Pederson rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
startling and fascinating, like reading educational pornography
Sep 14, 2012 Jasmine rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Mind blowing. At this point in my life it's hard to shock me but I found myself blushing in public frequently while reading this book. Available at a garage sale near you.
Some of the responses to Male Fantasies is the reason why men watch porno or seek professionals to live out there fantasies.
Not as good as her books on female fantasies. I especially didn't really care for the S&M chapter. But overall it's still a very interesting and fascinating read.
Apr 17, 2009 Annabelle rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Men in Love is a collection of real-life men's fantasies. This is a fascinating (and very odd) window into the male sexual mind. A great read!
Dec 26, 2012 Ana rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: feminism, psy
Well, that was... interesting. There's the sexy, the sweet, the heartwarming, the imaginative, the crazy, the kinky, the deranged and the downright illegal in about 500 pages. I try to keep an open mind, but that doesn't mean that I have to put up with more than I can, so understandably I skipped over some chapters (the amount of men fantasizing about doing their mothers or other female relatives is too damn high!). I haven't read Friday's books about female fantasies yet, but I expect I will fe ...more
Venkat Sai
Dec 02, 2013 Venkat Sai rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Men in love covers a multitude of male fantasies from Oedipus complex, virginity to s&m, bisexuality along with the author's explanation of the psychological basis behind each of those fantasies. The fantasies described are in first person by various men. Though the author's explanations give the impression of being presumptuous at certain points, nancy tried to be objective in most cases and the book in overall is very riveting.
If you are a reader that is easily put off by vivid descriptio
Jun 03, 2012 Michelle rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I made it about halfway through this and couldn't take anymore. The "ick" factor is high, and while I consider myself to be fairly open-minded, there are some really deviant, distasteful and downright disturbing fantasies in this book. I might have been able to finish it if it were around 200 pages, but at 472 pages, it just becomes tiresome and gross, regardless of the psychobabble explanations on the side.
R to the -izzo
Apr 14, 2008 R to the -izzo rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who are bored and want to read about men's fantasies.
I read this one summer when I was in college. It is just a collection of men's fantasies. I thought that it was kind of interesting. It is broken down by genre. There is a chapter on exhibitionism, and threeways, etc.
Mar 09, 2008 Amy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
i like the concept and idea of the book. nancy gives sex surveys to men and records the results. warning : there's some very disturbing material. after reading this book what can i say, i was completely disenchanted and disturbed about the general state of male sexuality.
Sep 11, 2014 Jadine rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
interesting read, I wonder how much, if anything has changed in the last 30 years.....
Paula ross
Jun 23, 2011 Paula ross rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Men are very strange creatures
Apr 01, 2011 Jo rated it liked it
Shelves: lol, non-fiction
I have been going through my shelves to see what I want to keep and what I am going to swap/give away. I was young when I bought this, what can I say....
Freud has a lot to answer for...
Diana Suddreth
Started out interesting, then got kind of repetitive, then a bit weird. Trying not to judge but some of it was just too far out there for me.
Ramona Silverwing
Lovely written and sure helps to understand man a tiny bit better.
Glad I found it.
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Nancy Colbert Friday (born August 27, 1933) is an author who has written on the topics of female sexuality and liberation.

'Nancy Friday's successful fantasy revelations (My Secret Garden, Forbidden Flowers)' have seen her placed among 'the feminist erotic pioneers'. Her writings argue that women have often been reared under an ideal of womanhood which was outdated and restrictive, and largely unre
More about Nancy Friday...

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