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119th out of 4,320 books
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All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
The two bestselling phenomenons now together in one timeless, definitive edition.
In their #1 New York Times bestseller, The Rules, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider shared their time-tested techniques for finding the man of your dreams. Controversial and effective, these 35 rules changed millions of women's lives all over the world. In their sensational sequel, The Rul
...moreMass Market Paperback, 400 pages
Published
January 1st 2007
by Warner Books
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Yeeeah. After hearing the authors' discuss this book on Oprah or The View or some other gyno-centric talk show, I kind of suspected The Rules would send me into a killing rage. I was right.
On the upside, I knew my husband was the one for me when he read it and proclaimed it a "stupid guide for assholes". I love you, honey.
On the upside, I knew my husband was the one for me when he read it and proclaimed it a "stupid guide for assholes". I love you, honey.
I think this book has gotten a lot of undeserved bad critique.
OK, OK, about 15% of this book is complete nonsense, and probably about 5% is outdated. However, a good 80% of it is genuinely good advice.
As somebody who lived 25 years of her life being the complete opposite of a "Rules girl" and failing miserably at building healthy romantic relationships, I found myself a little more open-minded than the average person when it came to this book.
Here a...more
OK, OK, about 15% of this book is complete nonsense, and probably about 5% is outdated. However, a good 80% of it is genuinely good advice.
As somebody who lived 25 years of her life being the complete opposite of a "Rules girl" and failing miserably at building healthy romantic relationships, I found myself a little more open-minded than the average person when it came to this book.
Here a...more
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If you don't mind reading something extraordinarily creepy, The Rules is actually a hilarious book. I couldn't put it down!
I assumed that I would have broken every single rule in the book repeatedly. Not so. Each rule fell into two camps: one that I did the exact opposite of (Don't talk too much) and stuff that I actually did (Don't call him and rarely return his calls). The stuff I got right though, wasn't because I'm a "Rules Girl" it's because I'm an asshole.
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I assumed that I would have broken every single rule in the book repeatedly. Not so. Each rule fell into two camps: one that I did the exact opposite of (Don't talk too much) and stuff that I actually did (Don't call him and rarely return his calls). The stuff I got right though, wasn't because I'm a "Rules Girl" it's because I'm an asshole.
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Didn't look like my kind of book from the get-go but it's been sitting on my desk as a TBR for at least a year so I figured I should at least flip through it.
So I randomly open up to a random page and this is the first thing I read:
"Don't get sloppy about your looks. Continue to exercise. Men don't leave women who put on twenty pounds after the wedding or the first baby, but if you want your fiance or husband to keep drooling over you, keep fit."
Excuse me!...more
So I randomly open up to a random page and this is the first thing I read:
"Don't get sloppy about your looks. Continue to exercise. Men don't leave women who put on twenty pounds after the wedding or the first baby, but if you want your fiance or husband to keep drooling over you, keep fit."
Excuse me!...more
In recent years, an entire genre of literature has developed around dating, both for men and women. What is particularly interesting is to compare them. One only has to look at the titles to see how different they purport to be. Ellen Fein's "The Rules" helps women find Mr. Right. David DeAngelo's "Double your Dating" promises to help guys get more action. Are these books at odds with each other? If you go below the surface, you'll actually find that they have a shared unders...more
A few questions:
#1: What person in their right mind would take the abuse of someone not returning their calls? If such a person kept chasing after such a person, doesn't that person have low self esteem, or, he believes in the scarcity of attractive women? Is that what Rules women want?;
#2: If you're always ending calls first, no matter how well the conversation is going, aren't most guys beyond high school going to figure out what you're doing? Aren't most people going to feel...more
#1: What person in their right mind would take the abuse of someone not returning their calls? If such a person kept chasing after such a person, doesn't that person have low self esteem, or, he believes in the scarcity of attractive women? Is that what Rules women want?;
#2: If you're always ending calls first, no matter how well the conversation is going, aren't most guys beyond high school going to figure out what you're doing? Aren't most people going to feel...more
This is a quick read that makes a lot of sense. Some of the underlying principles are not totally compatible with a Christian world view but I didn't find that too problematic. The only major difference is the idea that we make love happen as opposed to God bringing two people together.
The general principles of:
* letting the man pursue the woman
* holding back and keeping some things "mysterious"
* looking your best as often as possible and taking care of ...more
The general principles of:
* letting the man pursue the woman
* holding back and keeping some things "mysterious"
* looking your best as often as possible and taking care of ...more
um, so, THIS book.... sometimes it makes sense, like when it tells you that good self esteem is attractive, or not to treat your date like a therapist and tell him your life story. however, marriage as the ultimate goal and the driving force behind every dating decision starts to be hard to stomach: "if you've been engaged for more than a year and he's nervous about setting a date, consider moving on - he might not be mr. right and rules girls don't waste time!" honestly? it seems so ...more
Long before this book was written my grandmother told me, "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" The Rules puts grandma's idea into practice. This is basic, common sense stuff....don't sit around waiting for the phone to ring or be available at the drop of a hat. Get a life, don't bag out on your girlfriends because some guy called, and keep the first few dates short and sweet. Grandma knows best...
Well baically this book tells you to go back to the 1950s and do exactly what they did to get a man. Don't call him back until day 3 don't accept a date after Wed for Saturday. Play hard to get, don't nag, always be pretty, work out, oh and never let him catch you without your makeup on. Never talk about yourself, don't tell him anything b/c being mysterious is so WONDERFUL that he will drop everything for you. Drop him if he doesn't by you jewerly for your birthday and never say I love you firs...more
I was very surprised with this book. I read it at first out of curiosity to see how devastatingly retro and anti-feminist it was. However, the book is not about desperately searching for a man but about having enough self-esteem so that men chase you, instead of the other way around. It had a lot of good tips in here about dating and relationship advice. I really admired how the authors emphasized that women's lives should not revolve around men or getting married but should have lives of their ...more
This book was horrible. If you read my updates (not sure if you can) I loved the book in the beginning. It talked about not making yourself too available for a man and let him do the chasing. Then it said things like if you aren't happy with your nose, get a nose job because you are trying to please men and find a husband. WHAT? They contradicted themselves a lot. In the first section of it, it said do not talk to your therapist about "the rules" because they will basically view you as...more
Okay, I have heard and read so much negative feedback for this book, and I will admit... some of the rules seem rather stupid.
BUT... at least 85 percent of them work, and at least 95 percent of them are common sense.
They are all but impossible to follow, they are depressing, they are frustrating, and they suck.
BUT... so does dieting. And there is no better way to lose weight.
So, maybe... just because it sucks doesn't mean it doesn't work.
...more
BUT... at least 85 percent of them work, and at least 95 percent of them are common sense.
They are all but impossible to follow, they are depressing, they are frustrating, and they suck.
BUT... so does dieting. And there is no better way to lose weight.
So, maybe... just because it sucks doesn't mean it doesn't work.
...more
Ok, I confess -- I've never read this one. But I'm assuming that the reports about what's in it are accurate, and on that basis giving it one star just on principle.
I didn't like this book much. I suppose it works, but in my experience, the best way to get a fulfilling relationship is to love and honor yourself first.
This book is not about that. This book is largely about pretending to be what you think other people want you to be; putting on an act, and I'm not into it.
I took a peek into this book when I was in high school. It has a small chapter on high school relationships and said something along the lines of "high school is no time to...more
This book is not about that. This book is largely about pretending to be what you think other people want you to be; putting on an act, and I'm not into it.
I took a peek into this book when I was in high school. It has a small chapter on high school relationships and said something along the lines of "high school is no time to...more
I would recommend this to any woman/teenager who is actively dating that would put aside their skepticism on "old-fashioned" methods of dating or how cheesy the title may sound long enough to check this out.
Overall, I've found through semantic knowledge and a couple of experiences that the main message of the book is true far more often than not.
As well as helpful in understanding the dynamics on dating and proper nurturing of a long-term relationship/marriage, ...more
Overall, I've found through semantic knowledge and a couple of experiences that the main message of the book is true far more often than not.
As well as helpful in understanding the dynamics on dating and proper nurturing of a long-term relationship/marriage, ...more
I haven't read this book and I won't. Maybe it would have prevented me from entering into the fabulous, stable, and yet unsettling, relationship I'm currently in, but, for me, this book represents something very, very wrong with society and bolsters all the ill-advised perceptions that exist between men and women. For those young women experimenting with their feminine wiles and attempting to exercise and define themselves in a feminsit context, this book could be very, very dangerous.
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Carissa
rated it
Recommends it for:
any female who needs a confidence boost and is trying to find love
The Rules is an interesting book. I originally read this book in an attempt to get a broader view on feminism and female empowerment, and actually ended up learning a thing or two. The Rules is bascially a set of rules (no kidding!) for the single woman on how to track down and keep a good man. It's written around the basis of female confidence, female empowerment and taking the lead in the relationship. It revolves around the central idea of not appearing (or being) too needy, and making the ma...more
Also a life-changing book! This one takes getting used. I realized that I do almost the exact opposite of everything this book tells you to do. SO it took me a bit to get used to switching the way I think about dating. What I love about the book is that it reminds women how amazing we are and that it's not too much to ask a guy to work a little harder to win us over! BECAUSE WE'RE WORTH IT!
I bought this book out of frustration with "what's wrong w/ guys and why don't they ask girls out anymore" and the whole dating scene in general. Unbeknownst to me, this book had floated between my colleagues, who were mostly single also. Although this book had some good advice, I believe the BEST advice that you could get about dating/ relationships, etc. is to follow your heart. I'm not sure how my current relationship would've turned out, had I not followed my heart and played...more
These "rules" are instructions on how to confuse a man. It should be called 'A million and one ways to scare a man off with psychological games". I learned enough tricks and schemes from my own dysfunctional mother. It was a waste of time. There are chapters upon chapters on how to mislead men into thinking you're too busy, or too good for them. No self-respecting man is going to ask you out multiple times, once you've pulled the "im washing my hair tonight, and the nex...more
This book was great! All the best of cosmo in one book.
It also made me hate myself.
I've decided to pick and chose among the rules. The rules are really nazi-esque. Like, they say you can never call a guy first and RARELY call him back. Like one call back for every 4 calls of his.
I accept that I can never call him first, but never calling him back? That's just retarded.
But thinking about the rules in a really extreme way has helped me to not act c...more
It also made me hate myself.
I've decided to pick and chose among the rules. The rules are really nazi-esque. Like, they say you can never call a guy first and RARELY call him back. Like one call back for every 4 calls of his.
I accept that I can never call him first, but never calling him back? That's just retarded.
But thinking about the rules in a really extreme way has helped me to not act c...more
For someone like me who has always struggled with setting boundaries due to my addictive behavior this book is like a bucket of cold water to my face. Some of it does make me uncomfortable; on the other hand, most of it makes a lot of sense because it is, at its core, about setting boundaries.
Even if you don't agree with some of this advice, you'll admire their courage for saying what they think. And when you think it through, you might just agree with them! Someone needs to write this kind of a book for young teens. Seems old fashioned, but girls should not chase boys. The End.
Every single girl should read this! It's a fun, fast read to prepare you for meeting Mr. Right and not Mr. Right-Now. Even if you are a strong, independent woman you still need to abide by "The Rules"...trust me, I was skeptical at first, but I will prove that they work.
I truly trust in "The Rules" and found this book to be just what I needed to help me navigate the dating world. Within 2 years of reading it I reached my goal of getting married. :-) I still use some of the principles in this book with my husband.
I chose this book to read for one of my relationship classes in college...what a silly book! I quickly realized that this was not the type of book I could write a paper on! However, it did provide some amusement for my college roommates and me :)
I want to give this one star because it is so ridiculous, but then I remember that most people are idiots and there are still women out there too lazy to get their own identity and too socially inept to pick up signals. So, in some ways this is a charitable contribution to help enable the codependent and naturally psychotic. The main idea of the book is : act like you have your life together and try as best you can to come across as normal, even if you are actually a hot mess, because no one ...more
i read it within a few hours with a few giggles. my mom taught me all that stuff and ill have to agree it works, but some things are missing and some are too much. you gotta know for yourself.
I actually got this book from my best friend as a joke as a freshment in college. If you like playing games this one for you. I believe the author is now divorced.
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