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Politically Correct Bedtime Stories (Politically Correct Bedtime Stories #1)

3.64 of 5 stars 3.64  ·  rating details  ·  3,328 ratings  ·  386 reviews
James Finn Garner's hilarious adaptations of classic bedtime stories satirise our modern sensitivity to all sexist, racist, culturalist, nationalist, ageist, sizeist, ethnocentrist and phallocentrist bias and reflect our more enlightened times.
Published September 15th 1994 by Not Avail (first published April 7th 1994)
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K.D. Absolutely
May 13, 2011 K.D. Absolutely rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to K.D. by: Emir (Peace!)
Shelves: humour, borrowed
Well, I find this book somewhat funny yet strange. Prior to this, my only idea of politically correct statements is not to say "poor" but say "financially challenged" or "short/dwarfish" but "vertically challenged". The reason is that most of us Filipinos speak pure English only when we talk to foreigners and because they are visitors here, they are probably too polite not to require us to be very careful with our language (as long as we don't curse or use vulgar terms) to the extent of using po ...more
Political correct bedtime stories – Dongeng, hegemoni lelaki dan Barbie

"Once upon a time, there is life …………………bla bla bla.............
and they are live together. happy. ever after. forever."

Sebuah pakem standar dari dongeng pengantar tidur. sebuah dongeng yang pernah membawa fantasiku - dan juga hampir seluruh anak perempuan di dunia - terbang ke sebuah negeri antah berantah. menjadi seorang perempuan muda yang baik hati, ramah tamah, suka menabung dan tidak suka membuang sampah sembarangan. ya
Damar dara
James Finn Garner has taken 12 time-tested tales and retold them with the newfound sensitivity of our times. Here's a snippet from "Little Red Riding Hood":
The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldvie
Amir ali
این کتاب شامل 10 داستان طنز کوتاه است که فین گارنر با استفاده از قصه ها و شخصیت هایی که ما می شناسیم مثل شنل قرمزی، راپونزل، سیندرلا، جک داستان لوبیای سحرآمیز،جوجه کوچولو و... مفاهیم تازه ای را که برخلاف اسم کتاب،کاملا سیاسی و مرتبط با جامعه ی معاصر آمریکا هستند مطرح می کند.

در داستان شنل قرمزی، شنل قرمزی زنی ست مستقل که برای حریم خصوصی خود ارزش زیادی قائل است و به شدت مخالف تبعیض جنسیتی. حتی وقتی مرد تبرزن برای نجات او از چنگال گرگ وارد صحنه می شود آن را توهینی به توانایی اش تلقی می کند و به جای
George Bernard Shaw once said that if something is funny, search it for truth. This book is full of truth, and it boldly and plainly illustrates the absurdity of political correctness. I love sarcasm and satire, and this book has plenty of it, so I found it delightful. It provides a marvelous picture of the current social and political landscape, and reveals the whole political correctness dogma for the foolish fraud that it is. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior ...more
Ahmad Sharabiani
اوایل سال 1990 گویا روانشناسان کودک در امریکا اعلام کردند، در نظر دارند داستانهای کلاسیک کودکان را که سالها رواج داشته، بازنویسی کنند و آنها را با موازین اخلاقی روز وفق دهند. قرار شد در داستانها هرگونه نشانه تبعیض نژادی و جنسی حذف شود و داستانها با معیارهای صاحب نظران تربیتی روز باشد. «جیمز فین گارنر» نویسنده جوان طنزپرداز امریکایی، پیش دستی کرد و 13 قصه بسیار معروف را که بیش از یک یا چند قرن سابقه نقل در سراسر جهان داشتند را بازنویسی کرد و آنها را از نظر سیاسی و اخلاقی بی ضرر ساخت! «گارنر» از ش ...more
Emir Never
The dust jacket of James Finn Garner’s Politically Correct Bedtime Stories Modern Tales For Our Life & Times has these words:

"Once upon a time, in the olden days, heavy-set middle-aged men would congregate in their elitists clubs, sit in over-stuffed leather chairs, smoke air-choking cigars, and pitch story ideas and plots to each other. Problem was, these stories, many of which found their way into the general social consciousness, reflected the way in which these men lived and saw their w
Sep 28, 2013 Arghavan rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Arghavan by: پگاه
ایده‌ی قضیه «صرفاً خوب» بود؛ ولی چیزی که باعث شد دوست‌ش داشته‌باشم شیوه‌ی سالم‌سازیِ داستان‌ها بود. کلمات‌ش دقیقاً از همون‌جور کلماتی بودن که من دوست دارم؛ عبارت‌های عریض‌وطویلی که همه‌ش یه صفت یا یه قید ه و بینِ کلمات‌ش نیم‌فاصله‌س. :-""" البته تو کتاب نیم‌فاصله نداشت :-" ولی خب :-"
داستان‌هاش هم بامزه بودن؛ ولی صرفاً «بامزه» و «:}طور». قبل‍اً جاهایی دیده‌بودم -نمی‌دونم و یادم نمی‌یاد که کجاها- که مثل‍اً بردارن یه داستانِ فولکلور رو عوض کنن و نمک بپاشن توش و قضیه‌ش رو عوض کنن و اینا؛ ولی چیزی که
This is a cute, and short little book full of revised, but well loved traditional stories! I laughed a lot, and never knew how these crazy stories would turn out! I however wasn't very fond of the politically correct version of snow white, where the prince has an impotence problem and a apparent fetish for girls in a coma. Other than that story, I loved it!!!
It would work better as a parody of a parody, I think. That is, Garner is obviously making fun of the politically correct movement. But he's doing so clumsily, imo. So, if one reads this as him being tongue-in-cheek, making fun of those who make fun of PC, then the book is a little funnier. Mainly I'm glad it was short.
Leap into a fairy-tale world where trolls are "dirt-accomplished and odor-enhanced," witches are "kindness-impaired," and Cinderella wears a gown "woven of silk stolen from unsuspecting silkworms." We can only regret that Garner had to exclude "The Duckling That Was Judged on Its Personal Merits and Not on Its Physical Appearance" for space reasons.

In this thin book Garner proposes to create "meaningful literature that is totally free from bias and purged from the influence of its flawed cultura
Politically Correct Bedtime Stories by James Finn Garner takes traditional literature we are all familiar with--Rumpelstiltskin, Little Red Riding Hood, and the Ugly Duckling--and eliminates all of the stereotypes as well anything else anyone would find even remotely offensive, which, in turn, makes these pieces completely ridiculous and laugh-out-loud funny. My focus in reading this book was Rumpelstiltskin, which, quite frankly, was not the strongest piece in the book. It does, however, empowe ...more
When this book was published, it was thought quite humorous. I find it rather trite. But it does raise some intersting questions about the evolution of traditional tales and the "moral lessons" that are embedded in them for children. Tongue-in-cheek, Finn Garner "cleans up" the offensive stereotypes. For instance, in the tale I studied this week, Little Red Riding Hood, when the wolf offers to offered accompany her through the dangerous woods, replies, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the ...more
I had wanted to use this book in a classroom setting, but since the stories were changed not only to include "politically correct" ideas, but also immorality and murder, I think I'll pass. Here's a sampling of the harmless stuff:

Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute you in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch."

From the bed, the wolf said softly, "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."

Red Riding Hood sa
Elly White
This book is a perfect example of satire done right. The book re tells thirteen classic tales for children and rewrites them using the most politically correct language possible. The overly cautious dialog had me laughing throughout the book. The pied piper now clears a trailer park by playing country music so that new development can take place. Cinderella talks to her her fairy god person or individual deity proxy about the dangers of the male concept of beauty. The three little pigs are armed ...more
Linda Lipko
Witty, funny and spot on in throwing a light on how out of control the US society is regarding political correctness!
Amir Mojiry
کتاب قرار است هجویه ای باشد از سالم سازی داستان های کلاسیک کودکان. نویسنده (جیمز فین گارنر) بر اساس بازی های زبانی رایج در کشورش (آمریکا) برای پیچیده کردن مفاهیم و جور دیگر بیان کردن مسائل برای از بین بردن تاثیر آن ها، این کتاب را نوشته است. این ایده، جذاب است. که مثلن به جای سرقت ماشین از عبارت «تفویض ناخواسته ی مالکیت» استفاده شود (اتفاقی که واقعن در میان حسابداران مالیاتی آمریکایی افتاده است!) یا به جای «کوتوله» از عبارت «افراد با طول غیر استاندارد» استفاده شود (استفاده ای که نویسنده ی کتاب ح ...more
Mar 04, 2010 Yvensong rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Yvensong by: Ryk & Julie
Shelves: fantasy
Fun little read with several places to chuckle at. Garner has taken several fairy tales from Little Red Riding Hood to Cinderella and changed the majority of the language to be politically correct. We meet up with vertically-challenged and kindness-challenged and...(well, you get the drift) characters.

Some people may be disturbed by the violence as these tales are a throwback to the earlier Grimm's tales instead of the white-washed tales of Disney and other cleaned up versions. Even so, if you
Shehan De alwis
Great Stuff. Reinforces how nonsensical the extremes of Political Correctness can go. The fact that fairy tales or more correctly these children's stories with a moral were written in a time when it was not easy to get past childhood. So yes, they were Grimm and sometimes scary to boot. But in today's world we cant afford to chance doing damage to someone elses' sensitivities (even if not aimed at them). When first written, Garner may have taken the PC a bit far. But in todays context, you can s ...more
Lindsay Gough
Ridiculously funny. If you have a deap hatred for anything PC, this book offers releif and therapy. I read it outloud with some friends and we were laughing the whole time. My favorite stories were "Goldilocks" and "The Emperor's New Clothes".

"The emporor is naked!" The parade stopped. The emperor paused. A hush fellover the crowd, until one quick-thinking peasent shouted: "No, he isn't. The emperor is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle!"

PS. Do not actually read this to your kids as
This book was something I could not resist purchasing, especially with the .95 price tag. The book.. well, it is pretty much what it claimed to be.

Each fairy tale is lovingly turned into a politically correct, and sanitized version of its formerly heathen self. I read the book with my boyfriend, each of us trading off stories between sips of beer. I would pretty much say that that is the best way to read the book.

Otherwise, well, the jokes get old rather quickly. Still, an amusing novelty read.
I enjoyed reading Poltically Correct Bedtime Stories. I even think I would have enjoyed them as a child. As a child, these stories would have challenged the simplistic stories told by major fairy tale producers (Disney, Pixar) in a way that does not tear them apart. Instead, Garner is able provide a modern view on what we could see as both harmless stories and cleverly disguised propaganda.

This book challenges us to think about what kind of messages we're telling children as writers and also as
This is without a doubt one of the funniest things I've read all year. Red Riding Hood, the first story, is probably my favourite (the wolf none-adherence to linear western-style thought - I thought I was about to break a rib) but when the three pigs starting singing songs of solidarity and writing letters to the UN I nearly died.

It's clever, very tongue-in-cheek and actually makes some interesting statements about the narratives we choose to pass on to our children.
I have to say, this book was REALLY disapointing. I was looking forward to a good hard laugh, and I suppose I did get a chuckle, but over all I found the entire thing annoying. I thought he was making fun of stupid political correctness, but the more I read the more it seemed the guy was almost *serious*. He made to many crude comments and I ended up rolling my eyes with digust at most of his stories. Blah :P
This book is just as funny as the title implies it to be. I'm so glad someone had the guts to confront the issue of political correctness in fairytales by writing their own group of fairytales! I mean, these were spot on. They served the purpose of tackling an issue that we are faced with in the modern day and did it in a hilarious fashion. I don't think I've ever laughed out loud so much when reading a book.
It's a quick read which was nice.
It helps when you are familiar with the fairytales. Fo
برداشته یه سری از داستان‌های قدیمی کودکان رو که خیلی معروفن، مث سیندرلا و اینا، طوری اصلاح کرده خالی از تبعیض جنسی و نژادی و ... باشه که مثلن کمپین‌های حمایت از حقوق زنان نتونن به داستان معترض بشن. بعد ایده خیلی ایده‌ی خاص و نویی نیست. پرداختش هم خیلی جالب نیست. نمونه‌های طنز خیلی خیلی بهتر چه تو ادبیات خودمون و چه تو ادبیات همین امریکا خیلی زیاده
In this politically correct retelling of twelve classic fairy tales (is that term permissible?) the stories are each recounted in an inventive, spare no prejudice manner. I absolutely LOVED that Little Red Riding Hood didn't need to be saved by that passing log fuel technician."

It must be nice to live in a world where no one is ugly (Differently visaged) or stupid (Cerebrally constrained) or cruel (Kindness impaired)

Well, as funny as the book starts out, it CAN get tiresome rather quickly and is
This is a book that should be read out loud. This is also a book that you need to read one story at a time. like bed time stories. So grab someone too either read a bed time story too on the couch with a glass of hot milk, or in bed before you turn out the lights. I highly recommend it.
This book was so funny! I've read it like three times, the first being when I was only eight and didn't understand a single word. So I had to re-read it again. Some of the stuff is wrong, but it's still so funny.

ناگهان نوری درخشید و مردی با لباس شل و نخی و کلاهی بزرگ و لبه دار مقابل او سبز شد. سیندرلا اول فکر کرد که مامور یکی از این اداره هاست که آمده سروقت شان اما مرد بلافاصله او را از اشتباه درآورد:: سلام سیندرلا؛ من فرشته ی نجات تو هستم یا اگر ترجیح می دهی فرشته ی اختصاصی تو. خوب مثل اینکه تو هم دلت می خواهد بروی جشن؟ تو هم واقعا می خواهی خودت را مطابق معیارهای زیبایی از نظر مذکرها آرایش کنی؟ بدن خودت را بکنی توی لباس بسیار تنگ که گردش خونت را مختل کنی؟ پاهایت را بکنی توی کفش پاشنه بلند که
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Art +Science=Fireworks 1 12 Mar 23, 2010 09:24PM  
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James Finn Garner is an American writer and satirist based in Chicago.[1] He is the author of Politically Correct Bedtime Stories,[2] Tea Party Fairy Tales, and Honk Honk, My Darling.
More about James Finn Garner...

Other Books in the Series

Politically Correct Bedtime Stories (3 books)
  • Once Upon a More Enlightened Time: More Politically Correct Bedtime Stories
  • The Politically Correct Ultimate Storybook: Politically Correct Bedtime Stories, Politically Correct Holiday Stories, Once Upon a More Enlightened Time
Once Upon a More Enlightened Time: More Politically Correct Bedtime Stories Politically Correct Holiday Stories: For an Enlightened Yuletide Season Apocalypse Wow!:  A Memoir for the End of Time Tea Party Fairy Tales Honk Honk, My Darling (A Rex Koko, Private Clown Mystery #1)

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“The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way.”
“Alas, if worth be based on beauty,
Snow White has surpassed you, cutie.”
More quotes…