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How to Talk so Teens Will Listen and Listen so Teens Will
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How to Talk so Teens Will Listen and Listen so Teens Will

3.98  ·  Rating Details  ·  675 Ratings  ·  119 Reviews
The renowned #1 New York Times bestselling authors share their advice and expertise with parents and teens in this accessible, indispensable guide to surviving adolescence.

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish transformed parenting with their breakthrough, bestselling books Siblings Without Rivalry and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. Now, they retu
Paperback, 224 pages
Published August 22nd 2006 by William Morrow Paperbacks (first published 2005)
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أسلوب هذا الكتاب سهل وممتع حيث أذكرأنني قرأته وأنا في الصف الثالث المتوسط.

أنصح به للمراهقين وللآباءأيضًا.
Georgina Allen
I wasn't quite sure what to rate this one. I think if I could give half stars it would be a 3.5.

It's well written, great cartoons and a very helpful way to look at relationships in your life and how to communicate better. However, I felt the content was very sparse compared to the previous books (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Sibling Rivalry) and didn't really add a lot - just demonstrated how the same techniques could be altered slightly to improve relationships with your teens.

So while I
Feb 01, 2012 Jazz rated it it was amazing
I really liked this book. I learned so much things in it. As a teen I realize that there is so much things going on in the world now that out parents didn't encounter at our age but they are trying their best to understand us. Reading this also helped me think about what I might do instead of just yelling when my mom and I get into a heated argument. I truly recommend this book to those adults needing help connect to their teenager or teens that want to change their relationship with their paren ...more
Jun 10, 2016 Summer rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book is so cheesy. I feel a little dumber after having listened to it.

The cheesiness of the dialogue is amplified by the cheesy way the Ms. Faber reads it. Picture an old TV show from the 50s where a boy in a ballcap says "Gee pop! That's swell!" That's the way the she reads this stuff. And the actual written dialog isn't much better.

According to the info, both writers are reading this audiobook. Their voices must be freakin' identical because I can't tell that there are 2 readers. I pull
Ruby Rose Scarlett
Jun 07, 2016 Ruby Rose Scarlett rated it it was amazing
Very straightforward approach to communication with teenagers and really anyone. I'm neither a parent nor a teen but as a teacher, I feel like any approach can help. The author's advice is down-to-earth and easy to implement, with lots of examples. It's an excellent book and all that's left for me to do is adapt it for the classroom and see if it works.
Apr 08, 2013 Jenn rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book offers solid but general tactics for fostering positive communication with your kids. It does not, however, go far enough in terms of giving advice for dealing with teenagers. The scenarios play out too optimistically, with teens relenting quickly. The authors virtually skip common challenges like what to do when your teen is being irrational or continues to push back or outright defies you. And, there is no mention of what to do about the "communication" trick most teens have mastered ...more
Mar 02, 2015 Ulrike marked it as to-read
Ich habe ein Buch bei registriert!
Jan 22, 2015 Tracy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I listened to the audio for this and I was concerned at first that this was going to be a hokey book by two little old ladies spouting tips that didn't apply to today's world. That fear quickly dissolved. These ladies know their stuff and the format of the book presents plenty of modern-day examples that any parent can relate to. I think these ladies have lots of wisdom and advice to share, and they focus on teaching you to listen first and more to your teens to improve your relationship and exc ...more
Daniel S

"Resist the temptation to "make better" instantly. Instead of giving advice, continue to ask and reflect on your child's feelings." [pg. 21]

"What people of all ages can use in a moment of distress is not agreement or disagreement; they need someone to recognize what it is they're experiencing." [pg. 29]

"Never underestimate the power of your words on a young persons life." [pg. 231]

"We want to find a way to live with one another so that we can feel good about ourselves and help the people we love
Mar 11, 2016 Libby rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I listened to this book while on vacation. I had thought I had checked out How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, etc. but must have rushed in my haste to the plane and didn't read carefully. I imagine the principals in the "Kids" one will be very similar, just applied to younger problems - less talk about drugs and sex and drinking issues, etc. Nevertheless, it was good and got me thinking about how I communicate with my kids and how I treat them when they are upset. I will probably still try to read ...more
Oct 20, 2014 Brian rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book with excellent, practical application. The problem solving technique really works - I used it! If only I had read it before I had my first teenager, I could have avoided so many problems. The best advice is to be authentic with teens - the more you show them you truly care, the more they respond similarly. The second best advice - it's never too late to change your parenting mistakes.

After finishing, I went back and reread How to Talk so Kids Listen and Listen so Kids Talk and found
Tim Wolfe
The authors take a fairly no nonsense view of parent and teenager communications, mostly involving what appear to be some typically standard principles found in many counseling environments. The basic concepts are that tone and content can impact a lot about the way that the teen (or parent for that matter) respond to communication attempts and that many problems can be resolved through adequate communication techniques. While in general, much of the advice seems reasonable, and I've noticed pra ...more
Jul 27, 2014 Fiona rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Sound advice on creative problem-solving and communication with teens. If you have read any of Faber and Mazlish's other works then this really builds upon the same foundations with an additional chapter on the pitfalls of talking about sex, alcohol and drugs with your teen. That does not mean this is not worth a read however, we could all use a reminder from time to time. As with their other books, I have taken a lot from this one that will no doubt stay with me for years to come as my children ...more
May 05, 2014 Maggiekb rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is obviously targeted at parents rather than teachers, but there's a lot here for both. The book is rich on examples and imagined dialogue, and while the practice conversations are somewhat stilted, the "voice" of the kids is pretty close. It's almost more of a "productively communicating through disagreement" book than anything about teens specifically, but the teen-focused examples were solid.
Dmitry Zvorykin
Очень популярное переложение известной концепции я-сообщений старуха Гиппенрейтер и её ясообщений. Которые суть идея Карла и Елены Роджерс. В общем полезная книжка, хотя очень и очень вторичная. Но многие проблемы с детьми и подростками рассмотрены в ней применимо к нашим реалиям, так что это может оказаться полезным лично вам. Книга короткая, читается легко.
Kat Myers
Distilled to its essence, the book basically tells parents to lighten up on the rhetoric and the emotion, shut up and listen. Not bad advice, though easier said than done. The approach is a bit jokey--the format is mostly comic strips and group counseling meeting (complete with made up dialogue/questions/concerns of the "group") but if you can get past that the message is worth hearing. I used some of the techniques with my oldest and found they really do help to diffuse what could otherwise hav ...more
Sunshine Mares
Mar 11, 2016 Sunshine Mares rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I love "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen...", And it was my mom's go-to when we were kids. So my mom sent me this book a couple weeks ago, and it's just as great as the other one. I highly recommend it for anyone who has kids - communication is so important, and this book is super easy and quick to read.
Pam Ford
Nov 22, 2011 Pam Ford rated it really liked it
So I don't have teens...but I read the book to help with the kids I watch (the Kids version was checked out). Anyways, it really does work like a charm! The book is set up in a workshop format, following parents and their hesitations, comics of what to do, and then the share and tell of its effects. It makes the book an easy read and helpful in understanding how situations can get escalated so quickly, whether it's something that you said, the way you said it, or what/how it was said to you. It' ...more
Apr 02, 2016 Amal rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
أسلوبه جميل جدا
توجد خطوات واضحة و مفصلة لطريقة معالجة المشاكل المختلفة التي يمكن لك أن تواجهها مع المراهقين من حولك
و يمكن أن تطبقها على من هم أكبر سنا منهم أيضا
يوصى به للأباء و الأمهات و الأخوة و الأخوات و المعلمين و المعلمات
Jul 04, 2015 Kate rated it really liked it
I love Faber and Mazlish theory, which I find very encouraging, very positive. Expectedly, it is a little more difficult in practice with actual teenagers! Worth rereading on occasion for moral support and ideas.
Mar 10, 2014 Cari rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The book was aimed mostly at parents but I knew that going into it. I really enjoyed the examples and will try the strategies with my students to see for myself. I suggest this quick read to parents and teachers alike. :)
Eva Johnson
Jul 19, 2016 Eva Johnson rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I found this book very reassuring, positive and respectful towards adolescents and teenagers. This is a punishment-free parenting philosophy, which we have found more effective in our family. A great followup to the book on kids.
Sep 24, 2014 Anne rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
I just didn't find anything new in this book. In general, it's showing respect for your teen and using active listening. There are many, many books that show you how to do this, this one didn't stand out in any way to me.
Jun 15, 2016 Scott rated it really liked it
Seems like it would be helpful for families and there are some good tips in there for those of us who work with teens as well. The gist is "listen without judging" but it goes way deeper than that.
Feb 10, 2016 J.C. rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Easy to read in just a few hours and contains practical examples. I never read its precursor, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, so this was all new to me. ...more
Dec 31, 2015 Joy rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was a really helpful book, full of examples both of ways NOT to talk and ways TO talk with teens. It helped me think through the communication patterns we have with our kids as well as the ones I have with my parents.
Jul 28, 2014 Liz rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
I really liked this book. The authors didn't mess around and got straight to the meat of the message, which I appreciated. I don't like having to read through endless studies and verbiage to get to the advice. This book gives very real role playing advice on many different subjects and scenarios that parents might need to talk with their children about. Definitely recommend it!
Heather Cadena
May 30, 2016 Heather Cadena rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Always helpful to get some new insights. The specific examples were good. I feel like this is a book refer back to often just to keep refreshing on the ideas and methods.
Paul Sizemore
Great book, but it was a 'foundation' approach, and I feel a lot of self selecting readers will be beyond the contents of this book.
More parent-specific scenarios in this one than in the kids' version, but still HIGHLY recommended to anyone with teens in their lives. If you're short on time, just read the cartoons or the quick reminder pages, like p. 65, "To Engage a Teenager's Cooperation."

Instead of ordering...

Describe the problem
Describe what you feel
Give information
Offer a choice
Say it in a word
State your values and/or expectations
Do the unexpected
Put it in writing

And one of my personal favorites: Give in fantasy what yo
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Adele Faber graduated from Queens College with a B.A. in theater and drama, earned her master's degree in education from New York University, and taught in the New York City high schools for eight years before joining the faculty of the New School for Social Research in New York and Family Life Institute of C.W. Post College of Long Island University. She is the mother of three children.
More about Adele Faber...

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