In this groundbreaking work--edited by writer and activist Friedman and "Full Frontal Feminism" author Valenti--the way society views rape in this ...
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Feb 05, 2009
Avory
rated it: 
Read this book. No, really. Read. This. Book.
I can't tell you how much the essays in this collection made me rethink my perspective on female sexuality, rape culture, what it means to be a woman in America right now, and many other topics. These essays are eye-openers, embracing not only a sex-positive look at female sexuality but also a perspective that views all forms of sexual pain as legitimate injuries. The essayists go beyond the question of "was there rape?" an More...
I can't tell you how much the essays in this collection made me rethink my perspective on female sexuality, rape culture, what it means to be a woman in America right now, and many other topics. These essays are eye-openers, embracing not only a sex-positive look at female sexuality but also a perspective that views all forms of sexual pain as legitimate injuries. The essayists go beyond the question of "was there rape?" an More...
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Mar 22, 2009
Ciara
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i expected to find this book irritating, because i find most of what jessica valenti is involved in irritating (see my scathing review of full frontal feminism for more), & i find a lot of discourse around consent tedious & lumbering, a game of one-upsmanship in which people are proposing ever more individualistic & unrealistic-outside-of-incestuous-radical-enclaves solutions to the tremendous problem of sexual assault & rape culture. the calls for submissions were framed as jessica & her co-edi
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Feb 28, 2009
Angela
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A well-curated collections of essays about rape, abuse, and sexual consent, "Yes Means Yes" contains a variety of different perspectives and voices. Some of the essays contradict other ones; I disagreed with some authors' points while finding others' persuasive and illuminating. I found highlights of the book included Margaret Cho's honest and assertive foreward, Julia Serano's proposals for changing male culture to discourage rape, numerous authors' calls for the cultural replacement
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Jan 13, 2009
Kari
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I enjoyed this book as much as I enjoy Feminist literature, but it isn't the best. Several of the essays seem to draw on forever, but others are simply incredible.
Perhaps my favorite essay, "Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality: The Lessons Boys Learn (and Don't Learn) About Sexuality, and Why a Sex-Positive Rape Prevention Paradigm Can Benefit Everyone Involved...," was written by Brad Perry. I enjoy reading about rape, sex, and gender relations form a male perspective be More...
Perhaps my favorite essay, "Hooking Up with Healthy Sexuality: The Lessons Boys Learn (and Don't Learn) About Sexuality, and Why a Sex-Positive Rape Prevention Paradigm Can Benefit Everyone Involved...," was written by Brad Perry. I enjoy reading about rape, sex, and gender relations form a male perspective be More...
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Jul 17, 2011
Sarah
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Rereading this for the reading group.
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First Reading:
I'm so sad to be done with this book. I mean, I'm totally glad that I finished it and read the awesome essays at the end (Higginbotham, Kulwicki) that I was missing when I got distracted 2/3 of the way through, but I'm sad that there's no more for me to read.
Okay, there were a fair number of essays that were just sort of mediocre and which trolled through stuff that i'm heard ad nauseum (Valenti More...
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First Reading:
I'm so sad to be done with this book. I mean, I'm totally glad that I finished it and read the awesome essays at the end (Higginbotham, Kulwicki) that I was missing when I got distracted 2/3 of the way through, but I'm sad that there's no more for me to read.
Okay, there were a fair number of essays that were just sort of mediocre and which trolled through stuff that i'm heard ad nauseum (Valenti More...
Jul 28, 2011
Sarah
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An exceptional work of valuable and unique feminist essays. By far this is Valenti's best book and one of the best feminist anthologies I have ever read. It manages to be accessible that even non-feminists and hard-core feminists will take away something important.
As with any anthology there will be a few lemons - either due to bad writing or just a subject that doesn't interest the reader. However 95% of this content is exceptional. I was sucked in and finished it in two days.
The essays More...
As with any anthology there will be a few lemons - either due to bad writing or just a subject that doesn't interest the reader. However 95% of this content is exceptional. I was sucked in and finished it in two days.
The essays More...
Jun 29, 2011
Will
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It's a book of essays by different people, and as such doesn't build quite as much as a single book would, bouncing between different themes. The common theme as such is the idea of active female choice and agency over the idea of acquiescence/consent or refusal.
The breakout essay for me was (annoyingly) written by a man, in which he talks about how men are socialized to push against women's boundaries (asking for phone numbers, making plans, touching women during a date) on the under More...
The breakout essay for me was (annoyingly) written by a man, in which he talks about how men are socialized to push against women's boundaries (asking for phone numbers, making plans, touching women during a date) on the under More...
Jun 18, 2011
Yasmin
rated it: 
A rather problematic book which has become something of a bible for neoliberal feminists. Here's an excerpt from my review:
"Yes Means Yes rests at the nexus of two ideological points. One is a liberal feminism so battered by decades of right-wing sexism that it spends all its energy reacting to the same instead of questioning how it might have become part of the problem. The other is a burgeoning domestic violence/rape counseling industrial complex compelled to paint its client More...
"Yes Means Yes rests at the nexus of two ideological points. One is a liberal feminism so battered by decades of right-wing sexism that it spends all its energy reacting to the same instead of questioning how it might have become part of the problem. The other is a burgeoning domestic violence/rape counseling industrial complex compelled to paint its client More...
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May 13, 2009
Elevate Difference
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Connections: The Apostate and Professor What If review...
Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
The Apostate: My initial reaction when I heard about the anthology was mixed. It seemed that the problem of rape was being used for a catchy slogan's sake (the catchy slogan being a play on the anti-rape "no means no" rule), and not because it made any real sense. I wasn't sure where you could go with that—connecting sexuality with rape culture More...
Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape
The Apostate: My initial reaction when I heard about the anthology was mixed. It seemed that the problem of rape was being used for a catchy slogan's sake (the catchy slogan being a play on the anti-rape "no means no" rule), and not because it made any real sense. I wasn't sure where you could go with that—connecting sexuality with rape culture More...
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Apr 09, 2009
RAGE OF CONSENT
Veronica I. Arreola
Review of Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape
Edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti
Seal Press
Utopian novels have grappled with the idea of a world without rape, but what would the path to that world look like? The controversial essays that make up Yes Means Yes! light the way along this very rough road and, not surprisingly, offer no easy solutions.
The book itself was More...
Veronica I. Arreola
Review of Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape
Edited by Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti
Seal Press
Utopian novels have grappled with the idea of a world without rape, but what would the path to that world look like? The controversial essays that make up Yes Means Yes! light the way along this very rough road and, not surprisingly, offer no easy solutions.
The book itself was More...
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May 27, 2010
Katherine
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When Friedman and Valenti announced the call for submissions, it was met with criticism for ignoring the institutionalized aspects of rape and focusing instead on individual consent and sexual practice. Here's a link to a post that sums it up and provides further reading. (I think the title, "You Can Only Say Yes If You Can Say No," really says it all.)
The final product has been broadened a bit, with a few essays (namely, "When Sexual Autonomy Isn't Enough") that More...
The final product has been broadened a bit, with a few essays (namely, "When Sexual Autonomy Isn't Enough") that More...
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Mar 24, 2010
Chelsey
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There are several things to appreciate about this book--for instance, the fact that it exists. I'd be excited (and grateful!) to get recommendations for books that cover sexual violence (NOT Against Our Will, the person who wrote that needs to fully examine the implications of their thesis!-- in my humble opinion) as sensitively yet humorously as this book did. A second thing to appreciate is the diversity of perspectives and backgrounds. Related to this, the range of topics discussed is astound
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Nov 14, 2010
Daniel
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Friedman and Valenti have put together an interesting compilation of essays which attempts to dismantle cultures and cultural structures which aid and abet rape and rapists from a secular feminist perspective. Partly because I am a Catholic, I don't think by any means that they've got everything right, but there were lots of good insights, the essays generally are written well and read well, and the book's format was friendly. Logic wasn't exactly flawless, but I have enough philosophical differ
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May 02, 2009
Millicent
rated it:
This was really good.
Yes Means Yes is an anthology of essays on rape culture, consent, and related topics. I was really impressed by how broad the subject area covered was. An incomplete list: the book contains articles on reproductive justice, virginity, sex education, surviving abuse, and intersections of sexualized violence with race, class, sexual orientation, size, gender, and immigration status. The authors come from a wide range of backgrounds and ground their essays in var More...
Yes Means Yes is an anthology of essays on rape culture, consent, and related topics. I was really impressed by how broad the subject area covered was. An incomplete list: the book contains articles on reproductive justice, virginity, sex education, surviving abuse, and intersections of sexualized violence with race, class, sexual orientation, size, gender, and immigration status. The authors come from a wide range of backgrounds and ground their essays in var More...
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Dec 03, 2011
Intery
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Even though in recent years I've been sort of entrenched in the liberal, intersectional, sex-positive, pro-queer, pro-trans, pro-BDSM feminism the anthology is sporting, most of the essays still managed to tell me something new. Overall, it was less gender-egalitarian than I would have liked, but it can't really be blamed for being Exactly What It Says on the Tin. The essays are delightfully varied and tagged with themes like 'Fight the Power', 'Here and Queer', 'Media Matters', 'Race Relating',
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Sep 26, 2011
tuttle88
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This book is actually surprisingly sexy. That's right a sexy book about stopping rape. The basic premise of the book (although its a series of essays so they aren't all sticking to the same point), is that instead of consent being about the absence of a no it should be about the presence of an enthusiastic yes. That if women are free to ask for sex when they want it and be open about their desires sex ceases to be a commodity (something men try to get from women who don't want to give it away).
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Jan 09, 2012
Matthew
rated it:
This book raises a lot of important issues and is an important book for all men who regularly interact with women to read, possibly even more important for those that don't. Some of it is geared to younger (20-35) audience. It explores consent in a way that supercedes well intentioned attempts at rape prevention, especially acquaintance and date rape prevention, which unfortunately had the potential to make sexual situations seem like ordering a large chocolate milk in a Starbucks ("Ice ven
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May 20, 2009
Anurasika
rated it:
Everything I need to know about feminism I learned online.
It's startling how little new information there was in this collection of essays, since I've been reading feminist blogs online. I can't remember exactly why I had this book on my to-read list, since it was published by Seal Press, and co-edited by the founder of feministing.com. I ended up skimming through a lot of the essays, and focusing on the ones written by the women of colour. Most of it seemed pretty feminism 101, and More...
It's startling how little new information there was in this collection of essays, since I've been reading feminist blogs online. I can't remember exactly why I had this book on my to-read list, since it was published by Seal Press, and co-edited by the founder of feministing.com. I ended up skimming through a lot of the essays, and focusing on the ones written by the women of colour. Most of it seemed pretty feminism 101, and More...
Aug 31, 2011
Levi
rated it:
I'm counting this as read because I read most of the ones I was interested in. I may go back and pick off a few more.
I really liked Julia Serano's essay about how in addition to not desexualizing women who choose not to make themselves objects, we have to stop desexualizing men who choose not to objectify.
The interview with three sex workers was also really interesting, although it sort of ignored the idea that sex work isn't always a choice.
There was another More...
I really liked Julia Serano's essay about how in addition to not desexualizing women who choose not to make themselves objects, we have to stop desexualizing men who choose not to objectify.
The interview with three sex workers was also really interesting, although it sort of ignored the idea that sex work isn't always a choice.
There was another More...
Feb 02, 2010
Unwisely
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So, I finally finished this book. It's a tough book to read cover-to-cover - the subject matter gets to be too much, after a while. Or at least that was my experience - I had to put it down and come back to it after I cleansed my palate with something light and froofy.
But, having said that, I think it was a worthwhile read. I mean, I am a long-time feminist and even minored in women's studies, and this seemed like a different discussion than I've had. (Can't tell if I've forgot More...
But, having said that, I think it was a worthwhile read. I mean, I am a long-time feminist and even minored in women's studies, and this seemed like a different discussion than I've had. (Can't tell if I've forgot More...
Dec 05, 2010
Amanda
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4 our of five, because while i did really enjoy it, some of the essays seemed a little off, and I would have liked at least another male-perspective essay, as well as one about choosing to NOT have sex that was not from a sexual violence survivor point of view, just to round things out a little more. Honestly, this is the sort of stuff that fascinates me, and i want to make a million blog posts about different concepts addressed in the essays, but the book is due back to the library in two days
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Mar 11, 2011
Melissa
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An interesting collection of essays that discuss several aspects of both male and female sexuality as well as a need to redefine the concept of consent. YMY insists that consent is not the absence of "no" but the presence of "yes," a loud, liberating, mutually pleasurable yes between couples of both sexes and all genders and sexual orientations.
Some highlights:
1. Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms that Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Fe More...
Some highlights:
1. Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms that Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Fe More...
Jun 14, 2010
Grumpylibrarian
rated it:
Required reading for women and men. A few chapters sort of made me go "huh" (as in what the hell is going on here, I'm looking at you WWE/Pussycat Doll chapter) but most made me think YES. YES YES YES YES.
The experience of being a woman, of being vulnerable and of diminished ownership in our own bodies was so explicitly and eloquently described and dismantled by the authors of each chapter. The experience of masculinity and ways to involve men in efforts to end societal More...
The experience of being a woman, of being vulnerable and of diminished ownership in our own bodies was so explicitly and eloquently described and dismantled by the authors of each chapter. The experience of masculinity and ways to involve men in efforts to end societal More...
Oct 18, 2010
Julia
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Found this book on the front table at a book store in Wicker Park, bought it, and realized ten minutes later that my friend had been in the store a half hour earlier and dragged it down from the dusty Women's Studies section to leave it there for me to find. Not sure if I believe in coincidences, but we were on tour together and had that telepathy style raging.
I love it. There are so many useful ideas and excellent essays. I would recommend that anybody and everybody read this, but likely More...
I love it. There are so many useful ideas and excellent essays. I would recommend that anybody and everybody read this, but likely More...
Jun 16, 2010
Manuel
rated it:
Very heterogeneous edited book. Some chapters are amazing and eye-opening. Others I felt didn't provide me with anything new.
Not very deep theoretically in terms of sexuality, identity, performativity, violence. However, would recommend to highschool and college-level activists and students.
The notion of "yes means yes" is awesome, but not groundbreaking (many have worked within this framework for a long time). It was strange that some authors didn't seem to be More...
Not very deep theoretically in terms of sexuality, identity, performativity, violence. However, would recommend to highschool and college-level activists and students.
The notion of "yes means yes" is awesome, but not groundbreaking (many have worked within this framework for a long time). It was strange that some authors didn't seem to be More...
May 17, 2009
Alex
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Easily the best book I've read this year, if not ever. Yes Means Yes! is an anthology of essays from women and trans folks (and a few men) of all backgrounds, white, black, Latina, Asian, poor, affluent, queer, hetero, sex workers, dominatrices, bloggers, organizers, educators, artists, and survivors, all answering the question, "How can we create a world without rape?"
This book more than any other opened my eyes to the central importance of female sexual power to movement More...
This book more than any other opened my eyes to the central importance of female sexual power to movement More...
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Jan 25, 2010
Alexis
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Four and a half stars if I could. This is a collection of essays about creating empowerment for women's sexuality. There's also a large focus on dismantling and preventing rape culture. This was sometimes a hard book, as there are large portions about rape and bad sexual experiences. Some essays were stronger than others.
However, I found this book extremely empowering and uplifting and I'd like more people to read it so I could discuss it with them. Important feminist stuff.
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However, I found this book extremely empowering and uplifting and I'd like more people to read it so I could discuss it with them. Important feminist stuff.
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Feb 07, 2010
Emily
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Love, Love, LOVE this book. It reinforced again and again concepts that I have argued for time and again in the past, and sincerely hope will become second-nature in the future:
-Rape is caused by Rapists. Period. There's nothing that you do to cause yourself to be raped.
-Girls and young women should be taught that their sexual desires are normal, and that both YES and NO are valid responses to the sex question.
-An "absence of no" shouldn't be the baseline for sex More...
-Rape is caused by Rapists. Period. There's nothing that you do to cause yourself to be raped.
-Girls and young women should be taught that their sexual desires are normal, and that both YES and NO are valid responses to the sex question.
-An "absence of no" shouldn't be the baseline for sex More...
Apr 07, 2009
Virginia
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I was excited to read a book about sexual empowerment that didn't include a diatribe about sexual assault/rape/molestation etc.... but this is not that book.I was also hoping to hear new ideas about how to create a sensible, sexy consensual model for sex that people can follow. At the very least I hoped I could read some decent ideas or experiences about women having fantastic sex (by themselves or with others) after a traumatic sexual experience. There are a lot of amazing stories and I am hono
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Jun 20, 2011
Meggan
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As if humanity needed more evidence for a second sexual revolution. Just skim a few pages and you'll want to volunteer down at your local rape crisis center or Planned Parenthood. While I value this book for its bravery, I see two big flaws here: 1) too much focus on westernized American feminists, and 2) some essays reads like one long blog entry (I prefer empirical research over blog comments for evidence/arguments). But I understand that academia is too slow to wade into the swiftly moving de
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