A new edition of the best-selling guide to a verbally abusive relationship discusses the potential damage of verbal abuse, how to identify a proble...
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Feb 29, 2008
Juliana
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This review is taken from my blog at http://blog.geekuniverse.org/2008/02/boo... I apologize if there are any places where the formatting didn't transfer.
This entry will be more of a story than a real book review.
I've been fascinated for a long time by the subject of verbal & emotional abuse. I call it "white collar" abuse. Like white collar crime is harder to detect and a bit more sophisticated than knocking an old lady on the head with a beer bottle. What I ca More...
This entry will be more of a story than a real book review.
I've been fascinated for a long time by the subject of verbal & emotional abuse. I call it "white collar" abuse. Like white collar crime is harder to detect and a bit more sophisticated than knocking an old lady on the head with a beer bottle. What I ca More...
Oct 10, 2011
Melissa
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This was one of the better books I've read on the subject. It offers clear insight into the problems of mentally/verbally abusive relationships without adopting the “blame the victim” mentality so many of the other books had. For someone struggling with their decisions already, those types of books only make things worse. Although, this book, like the others, has suggestions for how to make things work with your abuser which doesn't help either if they don't want to pursue it. It just makes you
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May 29, 2011
Sarah
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Evans is dangerously close to alienating her readership as she denies her reader's partner his (or her) humanity. So far she offers her victims no advice and no evidence to ground her assertions. That said, I am a little removed from the general readership and it is clear that both I am benefiting from the reader and so did my benefactor. I gained more from the comments left by the woman who read this book before me, but I do understand where this book could benefit some readers.
The V More...
The V More...
Nov 30, 2009
Marc
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To sum this up:
1) If your relationship with someone is not absolutely wonderful then the man is an abuser.
2) If the woman saying “stop” does not immediately fix the issue and turn it into a wonderful relationship then the end the relationship.
This book was a slow read for me and I ended up needing to renew the library book two or three times to give myself time to finish it. Part of what slowed it down for me is the book is very detailed. There are many lists with 10 to o More...
1) If your relationship with someone is not absolutely wonderful then the man is an abuser.
2) If the woman saying “stop” does not immediately fix the issue and turn it into a wonderful relationship then the end the relationship.
This book was a slow read for me and I ended up needing to renew the library book two or three times to give myself time to finish it. Part of what slowed it down for me is the book is very detailed. There are many lists with 10 to o More...
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Jul 17, 2010
Izlinda
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I wrote a review but then my laptop froze so I lost it. I should really learn better and continue writing my reviews on Word and copying/pasting them here.
I've had this book checked out from the library for a while and even had to renew its due date because I didn't get to it in time. When I found out I couldn't renew it (again) because someone had a hold on it, I forced myself to read it.
I had to skim this book pretty quickly, but I did take a few notes somewhere. In th More...
I've had this book checked out from the library for a while and even had to renew its due date because I didn't get to it in time. When I found out I couldn't renew it (again) because someone had a hold on it, I forced myself to read it.
I had to skim this book pretty quickly, but I did take a few notes somewhere. In th More...
Dec 14, 2010
Annette
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Patricia Evans did an outstanding job on the "How to Recognize" part of this book, however the rest of the book is terribly inadequate. Ms. Evans based this book on 40 interviews that she had with women who had been verbally abused by men. I wish that she would've stated this in the title or subtitle. I was turned off by the fact that she totally fails to recognize the fact that woman can be just as verbally abusive as men.
Another thing that bothers me is that Evans is no More...
Another thing that bothers me is that Evans is no More...
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Feb 12, 2012
Finalie07
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this book hit me like a tonne of brick.. most of us wouldn't know we are in an abusive relationship.. most of the time, we just accepted it as part of who (the abuser) are..
although verbal abuse relationship are not physically visual, the effects in has on one self-confidence and personality is just as damaging or maybe even more than a physical abuse..
words can really hurt a person.. and when i read this book, i realized that i was in an abusive relationship.. and Thank More...
although verbal abuse relationship are not physically visual, the effects in has on one self-confidence and personality is just as damaging or maybe even more than a physical abuse..
words can really hurt a person.. and when i read this book, i realized that i was in an abusive relationship.. and Thank More...
Jun 23, 2010
Carol
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The author points out that behind the many types of verbal abuse is the desire to control and take mastery over the life of another. The ways of doing this can be as overt as name calling or as subtle as not acknowledging accomplishments. The stronger and more able to cope with it the recipient becomes the greater the abuse because of the need to dominate. There is no win/win for the abuser there is only I win/you lose. Very insightful reading for not only those identifing and recovering but
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Jul 28, 2011
Kelli
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Abusive cruel dialog has become so common that I recognized the given examples of abuse not only in intimate relationships but in relationships between coworkers and other social settings as well. Sadly I think many of the conversational patterns of abuse have become an accepted part of dialog in our culture. People need to see these patterns and recognize them for what they are, abusive speech. Although the book is written for people who have experienced an intensely abusive relationship, I thi
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Aug 16, 2010
Nicole
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I wavered in rating this book “I Liked It” or “I Really Liked It”. I settled with “I really liked it” because it was the first time I have been able to label my experiences from childhood. I did not agree with everything in the book especially regarding societies role in enabling verbal abuse. But the book did a fabulous job of identifying what verbal abuse is and how to identify if. I am of the feeling that this is a good resource book and is worth reading if you have experienced verbal abu
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Dec 12, 2011
Cheryl
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If you believe that you have ever been verbally abused or even if you want to read more about it, I would recommend this book to you. Usually when you think of abuse, you think of physical abuse. Verbal abuse does not leave visible scars, but the emotional scars that it leaves are hard to heal.
Sometimes we go along in life and think that we have to just go along with whatever life hands us. Even if you get into a relationship that is verbally abusive, you may not even realize it. More...
Sometimes we go along in life and think that we have to just go along with whatever life hands us. Even if you get into a relationship that is verbally abusive, you may not even realize it. More...
Jan 18, 2010
Jessie
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Overall it was a good book that I would recommend to anyone who has a verbally abusive person in their life. My main complaint is that the author only used examples of women being verbally abused by men, and only in romantic relationships. It was just strange to me that it was so specifically geared toward women in verbally abusive marriages. I gave it 3 stars because the subject itself is really important, and Evans speaks clearly to her very specific audience.
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Apr 20, 2010
Charlotte
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This is another mediator recommended book. While directed particularly to women in a verbally abusive relationship, what I tried to glean from it is the ability to recognize, and more importantly respond to the various forms verbal abuse can take, particularly as it might occur in a mediation session between high conflict individuals. I would highly recommend it to anyone who feels they are in a verbally abusive situation.
Oct 16, 2011
Danielle
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Very enlightening. Everyone should read this so they get a better sense of what rights they have in all interpersonal relationships, and can feel empowered to advocate for them.
Also adds insights that can tip us off to the things we may say or do to others and that they just aren't ok. Very useful tool for improving relationships and our own treatment of loved ones.
Also adds insights that can tip us off to the things we may say or do to others and that they just aren't ok. Very useful tool for improving relationships and our own treatment of loved ones.
Jan 10, 2010
T-boy
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My father was verbally very abusive when I grew up. He still is everytime I see him. This book helped me understand better what was going on. I felt empowered reading it, learning that it was not something wrong with me and that my feelings and reactions to the horrible situations that I have been subject to was accurate and healthy.
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Apr 09, 2009
Sasha
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The affirmations in this book were good, but the book got slightly repetitive. The basic message is that you are not responsible for the person's anger and should not claim to take ownership of it. It had basic good skills on how to deal with verbal abuse whether in a relationship, dealing with children, friends, or co-workers.
Feb 08, 2010
Marianne
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Enlightening. It explained my own experience and my responses to that experience. I recommend the book to anyone who has been through it, wonders if they are going through it, or knows someone who is.
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Mar 11, 2008
Spicy T AKA Mr. Tea
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This was a very affirming book that I needed to read at a really fucked up point in my personal life. While it offered a lot of perspective and made sense, there were also some problems with it--namely, being male identified I was burdened with having to consciously change every single male pronoun to female pronouns in order for it to make sense. The author seems to take a very dichotomous view of the world: men = abusers and women = victims. I think it's too simple and actually kind of offensi
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Mar 13, 2010
Shanon
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Again, another insightful book on the covert interpersonal styles of those in abusive relationships. Another one that I experienced all ranges of emotions with.
Aug 03, 2011
How can someone who says they love you be so mean? Learn what verbal abuse is and begin the process of getting help.
Jun 04, 2009
Eileen
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I read this book for my volunteer in-service at the women's shelter. I think anyone would benefit from reading it.
Nov 23, 2008
Tammy
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a must read for those who seek to understand. clear and honest. answers many questions.
Aug 17, 2008
Kelly
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I have recommended this book dozens of times since purchasing it a decade ago. When my mom gave me just one chapter to read, I found myself on the way to healing. It made so much sense. Now I know what to look for when people try to play mind games, or try to manipulate a rational person with irrational tactics. I cut them out of my life! I'd give it ten stars if I could.
recommended for women who are losing self-confidence from the way their husbands treat them. Anyone experiencing a More...
recommended for women who are losing self-confidence from the way their husbands treat them. Anyone experiencing a More...
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Jun 12, 2008
India
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This book is a powerhouse. It covers, in highly relateable terms, every imaginable scenario of abuse that DOESN'T involve physical abuse. "Verbal Abuse" is an unfortunate term with which we are stuck. Unfortunate because non-physical abuse is most often much more than name-calling or yelling at someone. It ranges from controlling behavior, manipulation, oppression, degradation, all the way to emotional terrorism. You will learn how to recognize abusive behavior, whether in yourself (so
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