That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister
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That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister

3.54 of 5 stars 3.54  ·  rating details  ·  378 ratings  ·  121 reviews
Meet Terrell Dougan's sister, Irene: a woman in her sixties who still believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny--but who also enjoys playing those characters for the children at the local hospital; whose favorite outfit, which she'll sneak into whenever Terrell's back is turned, consists of Mickey Mouse kneesocks and shorts; who wins over the neighborhood kids by hostin...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published January 6th 2009 by Hyperion (first published January 1st 2009)
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276th out of 726 books — 347 voters
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disability studies
20th out of 97 books — 14 voters


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Christine
This was a humorous, usually heartwarming and sometimes heartbreaking book about a difficult subject. Terrell’s sister, Irene, suffered brain damage at birth and would forever be a child in heart and mind. After the death of her parents Terrell became primary caretaker for her sister. This book not only describes her trials and tribulations in that role, and the effect it had on her everyday life, but emphasizes that sometimes necessity is truly the mother of invention. Her family was the first...more
Heather
Terrell Harris never expected that the beautiful baby sister born on that stormy March day would be different from the other children in the neighborhood, but as she ducks a flying chicken thrown at her by her sister in the supermarket isle many years later, she reflects back on her life with Irene by her side. As youngsters, the girls' parents struggled to give them the most joyful life possible. For Terrell, that meant going to the theater, taking horseback riding lessons and learning to ice s...more
Jackie
A heart warming, and also heart wrenching, book about two sisters, one with a disability. Well written and insightful. I loved the fact that it was an honest account of both sides, the caregiver and the disabled. Some of these types of books are sugar coated or full of justifications. I appreciated Ms. Dougan's comments on the LDS Church and their kind acts of service to Irene. My brother-in-law's family is Catholic, and when his mother was diagnosed with cancer he told her to find the nearest L...more
Lynne
Terrell is local. She is a close friend of my cousin. Her family later lived in our neighborhood where I grew up. This is such a wonderful and uplifting story about dealing with an almost impossible situation. We all seem to have one family member who needs a lot more oversight, care, or nurturing. She tells her story about dealing with her mentally handicapped sister in a way can can all feel. I am uplifted by her words in dealing with my own life.
Diana
I got this book in our book club book exchange. It is the story of a family who has one "normal" little girl and then has a girl with a developmental disability. The story begins in the 50's when there are not many options open to families. Of course they were told to institutionalize Irene.
Irene doesn't really fit in anywhere. The family, especially Irene's sister Terrell, become activitists and develop new options for Irene. Life in the family is difficult and yet rewarding and they try to see...more
Hester
This book struck home for me in many ways. My future brother in law is mentally handicapped, and reading this memoir made me so grateful to people like the author. Because of people like her, he lives in a group home that understands how to take care of him.

I respected her honesty in describing the difficulty of caring for her sister. She is not someone who succumbed to denial. She is excruciatingly aware of her sister's flaws and of their effect on the author, as well as her parents and grandmo...more
Kathy (Bermudaonion)
When Terrell Harris’s younger sister was born, it was a difficult birth for her mother. The baby’s brain didn’t receive enough oxygen, so Irene was born brain damaged. The family had Irene tested at the University of Utah and were told that she has an IQ around 57, she will never learn to read and write and that her emotional age is around 3. Doctors recommended institutionalizing her, but the family refused. They brought Irene home and life went on. They tried enrolling her in school, and when...more
Eva Leger
Aug 17, 2009 Eva Leger rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: memoir readers, people who have a mentally disabled sibling/family member
Recommended to Eva by: found it on-line
I really wish I had the half star option right now because I feel this deserves more than just three stars. Rating it four stars is going a little far for me though so I'll leave it at three.
There is a blurb on the front (which I always read) from the author of Riding The Bus With My Sister and she calls this "thought-provoking"- it is. So many times authors will leave these blurbs and they are so off point it's hilarious. This, however, isn't one of those times.
That Went Well made me do a lot...more
Jennifer
Basic Overview
That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister documents the author's journey in caring for her sister with special needs. Terrell Harris Dougan's sister Irene is a woman in her 60s who still believes in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny -- but who also enjoys dressing up like these characters for children at a local hospital. Irene's favorite outfit consists of Mickey Mouse knee socks and shorts -- no matter what the weather. Irene finds love wherever she goes -- including her...more
Tanya W
This was an interesting and humorous autobiographical book about caring for a mentally handicapped sister. It was a quick, easy read, and likable, though not as compelling as I expected it to be.

I have to admit, a couple of things she said made me a little biased and less sympathetic than I might have otherwise been. I thought it was unusual for her to assert that her mother's lot caring for her and her sister (with the help of grandma) was more difficult than the lot of their neighbors who had...more
Shannon McGee
Terrell uses the book to write about her trials with her mentally handicapped older sister. Terrell tries very hard to treat her sister, Irene, as everyone else but every time she tries Irene show that she is not. That Went Well is a book that talks about the negative and positive of taking care of a handicap family member.

I liked that the family kept a good sense of humor throughout tough times. I also think compared to other memoirs with handicapped family member this one didn’t fluff the boo...more
Laren
The author's sister was oxygen-deprived at birth and therefore was slower to develop than other kids. That and her lower IQ caused doctors to recommend her parents to institutionalize her as was the accepted custom of the time. Instead, they raised her at home. The author explains the good and bad of this, and how she came to be responsible for her sister after their deaths.

This isn't a boring "inspirational" story about how we can learn a lot from people different than us. For one thing, the au...more
Samantha
That Went Well: Adventures In Caring for My Sister is a memoir about Terrell Dougan's life and how she dealt with having a sister with mental disabilities. Terrell's parents made the choice not to institutionalize her sister Irene which meant life was always interesting to say the least. They ended up becoming advocates for people with mental disabilities and working towards other types of living arrangements for them.


What I liked about this book were all of the stories about Irene and what made...more
Doreen
One sister is mentally challenged. The other sister recaps their lives together, including frustrations and victories associated with it. The author is funny and honest. She doesn't paint an, "everything is wonderful and perfect", picture. She also doesn't give the impression of, "oh woe is us, we've got a cross to bear, so life isn't easy"! She doesn't fall into those traps. She shares the wonderful, humorous moments of her special sister...the silliness and unexpected diversions. The author al...more
Miki Garrison
There are a decent number of memoirs out there that talk about caring for a disabled family member, but most of them seem to sugar-coat either the family member in focus or the narrating caretaker. This book is engaging, thought-provoking, and funny, without trying to sweep over mistakes and struggles.

On top of it all, the narrator was heavily involved in the movement that helped transform care for the disabled from being institution-focused to being community-centered -- and so while the book...more
Marjanne
This was an interesting book to read. I have worked at a 'sheltered workshop' for adults with mental disabilities for several years, so I feel like I really understood where the author was coming from. I have no idea how the families of the disabled do it. They are such a challenging segment of our society. Working with these folks can be a ton of fun and very rewarding, but a lot of days it is simply frustrating. I feel like the author conveys this well with her experiences with her sister. And...more
Anita
A very nice read that takes place in Salt Lake City--the Avenues to be precise--from the fifties to the present. It traces the history of our care for the mentally retarded to mentally challenged to special needs citizens through the story of Terrell and her sister Irene. I enjoyed the local history and politics. I remember going down to American Fork and playing on the wonderful playground that sucked all the money for special education community programs. I remember when the Columbus Center be...more
Laura
I LOVE this title and decided I really wanted to read the book. I am so glad I did. It is a nonfiction story about living with and trying to find the right way to take care of a mentally disabled sibling over a lifetime.[return][return]The whole story, the little stories that make up the whole, the coming of age and then aging stories were all well written and I enjoyed the book immensely. We meed Terrell and watch her growing up and learning who she wants to be. We also meet her younger sister...more
Shellie
Going into this book I had no idea it was a local author, so when I started reading familiar addresses, businesses and sights I was surprised - and pleased.

This book tells of an amazing journey, one that I am so completely thankful I have not had to take. I am one of the 'weak' people she speaks of, special needs frighten me on so many levels. On the other hand, this was so much fun to read. The stories she chooses to tell and her incredibly humorous and sarcastic way of telling them is complete...more
Diane
This book was recommended to me by one of the health professionals that sees Ryan. She assured me that our situation was quite different that the one described in the memoir but she thought that I might enjoying reading the book nonetheless. The author, Dougan, is a Salt Lake native who describes her experiences growing up with a mentally disabled sister and later becoming her caregiver.

She shares the joy and pain of trying to carve out the best life possible for her sister. She tells a sometim...more
Kara
It was a very candid and quirky read about the real life responsibilities some family members face when their siblings or parents have health issues. Terrell's (the healthy sister) whole life ended up revolving around her younger sister who was Down Syndrome. She made strides politically in helping mentally challenged adults get the care but also the independence they need to live the most productive lives. Terrell's parents were very concerned about getting older and having the responsibility o...more
Stephanie Jewett
We have a lot of mentally challenged (is that the current pc term?) patrons who come into the library and I think about how difficult it must be to be their parent or sibling. This book does a great job of showing how terribly challinging it is as well as how rewarding. Ms. Dougan clearly adores her sister, despite the frequent frustration she feels with trying to balance her desire to care for and protect Irene with Irene's desire and need for independence. Quick read, with good insight.

I also...more
Kathy
This book is a funny, poignant life lesson that anyone can take heart and encouragement from reading. It's Terrell Dougan's true story of growing up with a mentally disabled sister and eventually needing to take the full responsibility for Irene when their parents grow old and die. There is no dodging the difficulties or frustrations of caring for Irene but Terrell's humorous attitude makes all the difference in the world. (I laughed aloud when Terrell described watching Irene in full meltdown m...more
Leeann
I felt this jumped around a bit from topic to topic, but maybe that was intended. I enjoy reading of experiences in others lives that I haven't or won't experience. I think as I read it reinforced my belief that our lives never turn out as we imagine. We are driven and buffeted about by people, events, and experiences that guide us and shape us and force us to choose to do things that we never thought we could or that we never would have chosen if given the chance. But making the choice to do it...more
Lauren
Well-written and thoughtful, without being sappy or strident. I remember how things used to be and was impressed by the author and her family's efforts to make a change.
Clytee
The author is a the writing group of a good friend of mine (Annette Haws), and Annette is mentioned in the credits at the end. This book was interesting and at times really funny, and insightful. It all takes place in Salt Lake, so it was easy to relate to the Salt Lake stuff. I'm not sure it's worth the national (NPR) attention it got. I was to go to my book club where Terrell Dougan was speaking, but I ended up having to cover for the Scoutmaster at a Boy Scout meeting instead. I heard it went...more
Danielle
An easy, enlightening read. Dougan's style is conversational, and quick pacing means I never found myself thinking, "Okay, let's get on with it already."
Never having lived in close proximity to someone with special needs, Dougan's gripes and praise for the way people interacted with her sister were good information for me.
My one complaint with the book is that I felt Dougan indulged a little too much in enumerating her accomplishments and personal pursuits. Even done in a self-deprecating way,...more
Allyson
An amazing book that everyone should read, but especially those with a special needs person in their family. It has a little bit of humor, a lot of truth and a tiny bit of sadness in it, but it all comes together beautifully. The fact that the author is from Utah, makes this story all the better for me.....reading about things Terrell did, makes me appreciate her story. She's part of the reason that special needs kids are in regular schools, as well as so many other things that impact the life o...more
Kelli
This book is written by a woman who has a mentally disabled sister. She describes her life growing up with her sister and how the family dealt with the issues that come along with having a family member who is mentally challenged. The book follows the author's struggles through adult life as she tries to finda suitable living arrangement for her sister and deal with her own hang-ups with society's reaction to the mentally disabled. Very good book and the author is willing to explore her own emot...more
Colleen Curran
I loved this book. My husband gave it to me as an early 40th anniversary gift. Because I teach the Severely Intellectually Disabled students at a local high school, I had some of my own references to draw on while reading Terrell's account of her life experiences in caring for her own sister who has an intellectual disability. I loved the book and was very sad when I reached the final age. I know the pages of life continue for Terrell and Irene and so my curiosity would like to put me in the bac...more
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