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Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager
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Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager

3.93 of 5 stars 3.93  ·  rating details  ·  992 ratings  ·  191 reviews
Dr. Wolf updates his classic blockbuster as times change

In 1991, the first edition of Get Out of My Life by Dr. Anthony E. Wolf, became an enormous success, selling over 300,000 copies. The words of Dr. Wolf were so on target that parents wondered if he had placed tape recorders around their homes.

But the world has not stood still—in fact, it is changing faster than ever.
Audio CD, Abridged, 0 pages
Published January 4th 2003 by Macmillan Audio (first published 1991)
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I'm currently raising my fourth teenager, so you'd think I'd have it figured out by now. Well, I don't ... and I found this book really helpful. There's a pretty simple message running through every chapter. State your rules and values, stay firm, and accept that you can't fully control them. Your voice will eventually become part of their conscience, and they'll probably turn out all right.
Perfect! When I finish this I'll know alllll about raising a pre-teen daughter and son! I think it should come with a subscription to the Wine of the Month club or something equally helpful.
This book reminded me of Rilke: master of simultaneous attraction and repulsion. For Rilke, it was women. For teenagers, it's their parents. The mouthing is almost a kind of teething: at the same time they mouth off to signal their independence, they do it obnoxiously as a way to maintain their childish status. They both do and do not want their independence (this translates to wanting freedom with only the responsibilities they recognize.) They want their parents' unconditional love and they ar ...more
Jan 15, 2009 Robyn marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
Obviously, I need help with parenting so I keep trying to read books such as these which continues to offend my children.
I found this short book incredibly helpful. Wolf pulls no punches on what it's like to live with the contemporary American teenager. This quote perfectly sums up what it is like to live with my 13-year old son: "For those who have never raised a teenage child, it is hard to imagine the day-to-day swings between crazed frenzy and genuine tranquility. Some of the time things are calm, even beautiful. You love your kid and he or she seems just fine. But at other times, perhaps five minutes later, y ...more
The author focuses on a very stereotypical teen-adult dynamic (parent lays down the law about homework, curfew, etc and the teen reacts with a stream of angry profanity). I assume that's because that's what he sees in his counseling practice. The advice is mostly in the form of reassurance and encouragement to stay firm and not despair. I think many families maintain a more multi-dimensional and connected relationship through the teen years. But the explanations he gives of the psychology behind ...more
Lenny Husen
This was excellent. A must-read for any parent of a difficult teenager (which is pretty much every teenager). How anyone could give this less than 5 stars, I don't know, except that this book doesn't offer any pat solutions to the problem of being a good parent to someone who treats you with disrespect and who is irrational. If you are expecting any solutions to the situation other than time, this book might disappoint you. But it is one of the few good "self-help" books I have ever come across.
Judie Holliday
I really appreciated this book, especially right now when I have two daughters in their early teens. A lot of what Wolf says makes sense and he isn't preachy or didactic. Instead, he's funny, realistic and convincing. These years are a mine field and I feel better equipped to tip-toe through them now, more aware of what I can expect and what I can realistically effect.
The main idea in this book is that adolescents are in a constant, dramatic struggle between their "baby self" that wants to snuggle and play games at home, and their "independent self" that wants to be far away from home on their own. The result is regular conflict so that engagement with parents comes in the emotionally safer form of conflict and arguing. Parents need to just stick to their clearly laid out rules, understand that they won't be adhered to 100%, and that they can't be enforced, j ...more
Aug 10, 2010 Jaclyn rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Jaclyn by: Rosalind Englander-Calo
Our family counselor loaned this book to my husband & I. I have mixed thoughts on it overall. I liked it because the anectdotes were humourous and relatable. I also liked that basically the message of this book is "relax, you can't really screw your kid up that badly and even if they are revealing a worrying trend now, as long as you continue to show you care, they'll likely turn out ok in a few years." It's a book that I'm convinced our couselor suggested we read for reassurance; and as a g ...more
Meryl Evans
Recommended reading for parents of teens and tweens. Most parents will discover the arguments they have with their teens are typical and the author gives suggestions on what works and what won't work. A lot of it is common sense advice, but at least you know for sure what things to keep on doing and what things will be a waste of time.

The witty writing makes this a breezy read that only helps you better absorb and understand the content. Wolf shares dialogue that many parents will wonder if he w
This book was exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it.

Not much has changed, except my perspective. I feel much more mentally prepared for the rollercoaster I just started riding. I suspect I will be re-reading portions of it over the next few years.
This book was recommended from a few different people. I could only locate the abridged version but I felt the advice portions were soft. I guess I am more strict or at least hope to be when my kids reach the teen years. It provided a good view of what teens are going through mentally and emotionally during these years and how they view adults in their lives. I found this part helpful. Loved the title but I think a recent read, "Boundaries with Teens", is much better.
Diane Stavros
I found this book to be actually pretty realistic and helpful in guiding parents along the often frightful and treacherous path of dealing with the modern teen-aged child. The writing was simple and direct, without being condescending. The author seems to have a pretty accurate view of what living with teens can really be like, their attitudes, and what can and should be expected of them. He basically lays out the ugly truths about not only what teenagers are really thinking and doing, but also ...more
Sheela Word
4.5 stars. The made-up dialogue in this book is so similar to the way my kids and I actually talk that I couldn't resist reading passages aloud to them. It's both chagrining and reassuring to know how un-unique our little dramas are.

Wolf points out that many of today's parents are practicing an egalitarian style of parenting that they did not actually experience when children themselves, and hence are constantly conflicted about their actions, and worried about how their seemingly selfish, disre
I read this book when my son hit puberty (he's now 25) and have since raised three teens. I recommend it to ANYONE who even mentions they deal with teens! I used to read "Your One Year Old", "Your Two Year Old", etc and this does the same thing - shows you what is perfectly normal for your teen (son or daughter) to be doing and what to do about it!
Humorous, insightful, helpful but a little dated. If written today there would be more neuroscience and brain development discussion. Best part of my copy was marginalia and underlined phrases by previous readers. E.g. "Lectures do very little," "Parents must not allow themselves to get sucked into ongoing battles."
I recently ran into a former professor/friend of mine and after saying hello, I launched into an "All Teenagers are Evil," rant. When I slowed down to take a breath, she suggested that I read this book and I am glad that I did. Overall, the book has some really interested tidbits. I learned:

Nothing good will come of arguing with a teen. State your position, stick with it and move on
I already knew this one, but spanking adolescents is not a good idea for many reasons
Teens are resilient and can us
This author seems to hate teenagers and advocates a level of condescension that I can't support. The book was uplifting in one sense-- the author gives case studies and examples of teens who were so poorly socialized that I felt cheered that my son is just a little moody and reticent.
Kressel Housman
An excellent explanation as to why teenagers act the way they do. I found the girls' explanation close to my experience, so I trust the author's word on the boys'. But I could have done without all the curse words. Yeah, many teenagers talk like that, but how much do I need to read it?
this was a load of crap with little or no statistics to back up his theories. most of the sample dialogue between teens and parents were so vile, you cannot help but be comforted that at least you didn't inherit that demon child.

at some point he says that teens will lie and just get over it. when a child throws out 2 notice that informs his parent that he's failing a class in school and then lies - repeatedly - about ever receiving such notices, the author says the real issue is the failure, not
Calm LykaBomb
One of the few "How To Raise a Teenager" books that has really reached me. On par with the "What to Expect..." series, but with a wry, accurate and earthy sense of humor that is essential to surviving your darling child's adolescence without incurring a felony record.
This is a terrific parenting book about parenting teens. Ultimately optimistic, it doesn't pull any punches about what we are all in for in the next few years. A wise mom recomended it to me as her key to sanitity during those rough years.
This is an amusing look at Teenagers. I cannot remember getting any specific advice from this book, but I did gain a sense of peace - a feeling of "this is normal" and a reminder to laugh about it, not let it get to me.
I’m prepping myself. I have two 10 year olds; it won’t be long now. I LOVED this book. I have no experience yet raising a teenager, and the prospect terrifies me. I do remember what it was like to BE a teenager. And because of that, most of this book rang true. Basically, the author discusses the main difference in general between boy teens and girl teens: boy teens will distance themselves, shut themselves off in their room, listening to music and/or playing video games. They communicate mostly ...more
I was impressed by how extremely realistic this author is about teenagers, and the best ways to influence their behavior.
Excellent resource in dealing with teens. I highly recommend this to parents of teens (especially girl teens)
306.874 WOL 2005

my review: I am not so convinced by this book that is the adolescence is just a stage, behavior like monsters. teenage will emerge just fine. I more agree with teens stage like in the book "Brainstorm The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain", teens can be reasoned most of time. Anyway, it is a typical American style of parenting, honesty it is quite fit to my nature tendency of parenting (because of my easy-going nature), even so, I doubt if book's view is right.

Chap 3 Being
The best thing about this book is the title. And it is a good title.

I started reading this book in the car outside my sons' school and decided that, recent evidence in the shower notwithstanding, my teenager was not a nascent man or boy but a girl. He then got into the car and did all the things that it said boys don't do. Still a girl then. Ah, so one of those books (usually they have me looking into my knickers to see if there is more there than I remember)

However, there are insights here and
Dec 10, 2012 Christel rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Parents of older children i.e. 7 to 10 years old
Shelves: christel
As with most books of this type; you love some of their ideas and then you wonder what world they are living in. I really appreciated the author's continued reminder that teenagers can onlty think about the moment right now. They are unable to think more then 10 minutes from now and then it's only about themselves. No matter what you try, don't expect a teenager to suddenly change and think about you, your needs, and wishes for them as their parent. He reminds parents that the best thing you can ...more
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New teenager, new reason to REREAD this book. 3 25 Apr 10, 2009 05:30AM  
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Published in the UK as Tony Wolf
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“Much of this book is funny. That’s because I think much that goes on between teenagers and their parents is funny—if we can step back far enough from our lives to view our daily travails for what they are, instead of as deadly serious issues. Finally, if this book achieves its goal, you may notice a strange transformation in those scenes that used to drag you down. With a new understanding of your teenager’s psychological development and state of mind, you may find that those scenes are never quite the same again. They look different, less desperate, more like the inevitable interaction between a normally developing teenager and a caring parent. You may also discover that, seeing differently, you act differently as well.” 0 likes
“What is it to be the parent of a teenager? It is to do what you think best—when really you have no idea what is best. It is to ride out the storms and be back again the next day. It is to give love to a child who does not seem to want it, to a child who five minutes ago seemed to deserve a punch more than anything else.” 0 likes
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