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As For Me And My House: Crafting Your Marriage To Last

4.06  ·  Rating Details  ·  220 Ratings  ·  37 Reviews
The acclaimed author of The Book of the Dun Cow moves from his role as master storyteller to that of counselor and husband in this extraordinary look at the makings of a happy, successful marriage.
Paperback, 288 pages
Published June 5th 2001 by Thomas Nelson Publishers (first published April 30th 1987)
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Jan 27, 2010 Kristy rated it it was amazing
This is one of very few books I've read that deepens my understanding of relationships rather than just offering "tips and tricks." I feel like I need to read it at least a few more times before it all starts to sink in. It highlighted for me some of my own true weaknesses (versus easy-to-admit, pat weaknesses that don't get to the root of the matter). Another book that made me feel the same way is Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, Ph.D.
Dec 27, 2007 Anne rated it really liked it
This book gets very high marks for its accurate depiction of what marriage is really like - written in narrative rather than self-help-book style. Should be required reading for couples getting married to help them know what to expect and to not feel so alone when they go through some typical stages. However, one HUGE caveat to what would otherwise be whole hearted recommendation is Wangerin's advice on adultery - to stop, repent, and keep it a secret from your spouse. Now, it's true he gives al ...more
Feb 11, 2012 Sara rated it really liked it
Shelves: misc-non-fiction
This is a truly a unique and refreshing book. I picked it up on the recommendation of a trusted friend, but still braced myself for what I expected to be a legalistic/patriarchal view of marriage when I discovered it was written 25 years ago by a Christian man who's probably old enough to be my grandfather. I'm glad I muddled through. Wangerin is an uncommonly thoughtful person and a gifted writer, which is a wonderful combination.

The book walks through the various practices that contribute to
Jan 03, 2010 Beckie rated it really liked it
I found "As For Me and My House" quite moving. More than anything I've read, this book explained what marriage is for (beyond procreation and financial stability) and how to make it work. Wangerin writes beautifully, and uses a theological framework for what is truly a practical book. He uses examples from his own marriage, many of which are self-critical. These stories avoid the ring of false humility, which seems to haunt the storytelling of some pastors.
Wangerin, who is writing about marriage
Eric Zandona
Mar 15, 2012 Eric Zandona rated it did not like it
Shelves: marriage
This book is mostly a waist of time for anyone who is self-aware and knows how to have difficult conversations and come to resolutions with their spouse/fiancee. Most of the anecdotes are a pain to read because the fights they have are highly dysfunctional. While I'm glad they tend to repair the damage it would be better serve the reader to see what successful communication based on love and understanding on ones-self and your partner looks like. Our culture is full of example of examples of cou ...more
Bethany Hanna
Nov 06, 2014 Bethany Hanna rated it really liked it
The author really opens up his life to you in this book. His marriage and their struggles and path is the illustration. Very brave book. Very useful. You feel less lonely knowing you aren't the only person having to work through some of these trials.

Ultimately, you will see a new focus and desire to follow in their footsteps to put God first in your household.

I enjoyed reading it.
Jan 18, 2016 BDC rated it liked it
This is a peculiar book. Wangerin is a master writer, his stories beautiful, his prose enchanting. I love his books. This book was a struggle for me. I went in and out of liking it and disliking it. It was a bit jolting for me to go in and out of prose and self-help, story and then marriage pointers. All of his insights were engaging, but for me it made for bumpy reading. If you like Wangerin you will still enjoy this book. If you don't know Wangerin's work and just pick this up as a marriage bo ...more
Jul 18, 2007 Rosie rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: newly married or engaged couples
Wow! Excellent book! I think every newly married couple, and every couple embarking on marriage, should read this. I bet even some couples who have been married for years and still struggle with difficulties in their relationship could benefit from some of the wonderful advice. He focuses the middle section of the book on forgiveness, and the last section on six tasks that a couple needs to work on together for the marriage to survive: (1) building a foundation of truthfulness and dependability; ...more
Mar 06, 2015 Greg rated it it was amazing
A fantastic book despite the really terrible title and cover picture. Realistic about marriage and inspiring about it's possibility. Beautiful prose and vulnerable narrative from the author. Best marriage book I've read...and I get the feeling I'll re-read many times over the next few years
May 19, 2008 Amy rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Well, I didn't finish it; it was due at the library. I really haven't read a book about marriage before, so I found the initial parts interesting to consider--different personalities and nature complementing each other, celebrating differences, surprises in terms of behavior after marriage. Nothing earthshattering. Maybe this kind of stuff was covered in Men Are from Mars and that type of book, I don't know. But about a third of the way through it became even more old-fashioned and scripture-bas ...more
David Pulliam
Jun 02, 2014 David Pulliam rated it liked it
Very word author but found some helpful ideas.

1. Forgiveness must be backed up with action.
2. Marriage is bringing two cultures together.
Joshua Bailey-green
Jan 12, 2016 Joshua Bailey-green rated it it was amazing
Shelves: spirituality, 2015
I don't think there's much on marriage in our day that is more radical than Wangerin's beautiful take on marriage. Wangerin describes marriage as more than a rational consumer choice made to satisfy my needs, but rather as a Spirit-appointed vocation in which we are supremely challenged and aided to be like God in our indiscriminate love of a person who changes along with us, often in ways unexpected, over the course of a life. This is a beautiful - and rare - take on the goodness of marriage, a ...more
Mar 23, 2015 Lorie rated it it was amazing
This is by far the best book I have read on marriage! Love this!
Renee Reynolds
Aug 12, 2012 Renee Reynolds rated it really liked it
Recommended to me and my husband by a pastor colleague who described it as his favorite marriage book, this book was a joy to read. Wangerin's gift of prose, pastoral insights, and personal accounts combine to create a book on marriage that is unique and a gift to marriages, both new and old. At times eloquent, at times practical, the book celebrated the joys of marriage, outlined the tasks of marriage, and even addressed the dysfunctions of some marriages (in depth chapters on adultery and abus ...more
Jan 14, 2011 Randi rated it it was ok
This is recommended reading from the priest who will be performing our wedding ceremony - it's right around the corner now!!

This book wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be when it was initially recommended to me. However, there were parts of it that I disagree with - but all things I am confident I won't have to think about in my marriage anyway.

All in all, an okay book for something that was assigned reading...
Apr 18, 2013 Christina rated it liked it
A good book on marriage, written by a very poetic author and interspersed with his memories....sort of like a marriage memoir. There are some great statements overall on the purpose of marriage and great encouragement, but I felt it dragged a little in the middle. The personal stories are the most memorable parts of this book, along with the emphasis on forgiveness.

Jennifer Grosser
Sep 20, 2012 Jennifer Grosser rated it really liked it
Beautifully written with wise insights. The flowery prose won't be everyone's cup of tea, particularly if one is looking for a step by step, more barebones how-to for marriage. However, as someone who personally connects with and learns better via story, this book was a beautiful way to encourage other couples on the road to a lasting, happy marriage.
Sep 25, 2012 Melissa rated it really liked it
Wonderfully written. I was expecting this to drag, but the stories of Wangerin's relationship with his wife were vulnerable and not overly optimistic. I appreciated that the message was not, "marriage is hard, but all you need is Jesus." I was expecting that too. Thankfully, the message was more "marriage is hard. Be graceful."
Allen Steele
Apr 21, 2013 Allen Steele rated it really liked it
Shelves: own
very helpful with practical advice on certain martial behaviors. I am not married as of yet, but I plan on using this book as a guide. The "sex chapter" oh wow! lots to discuss. The giving chapter very awsome with parallels to God & his recommend fiancé gave it to me..she's a blessing
Feb 07, 2008 Bethany rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: newly engaged couples, newlyweds, married couples
I found this book extremely helpful in preparing for marriage, and have found it just as helpful after being married. It's very different from most other how-to-have-a-great-marriage books, in that it's well-written along with being thought-provoking.
Jun 17, 2011 Diane rated it liked it
I liked that it was stories from the author's own life. Even though sometimes he gave specific advice or rules of thumb, I most enjoyed that it just brought up various topics to think about on my own that I might not have spent any time on.
Jul 29, 2007 Dayspring rated it liked it
Nate and I began reading this book together when we were engaged. We never quite finished it, but I did enjoy it. Wangerin's strong writing and storytelling came out, as expected, but it also showed his "pastoral" side.
Shawn slate
May 27, 2011 Shawn slate rated it it was amazing
his discussion of forgiveness is very helpful. Very honest about both the beauty and difficulty of marriage. i use this book in pre-marital counseling (and ongoing counseling for my own marriage)
Oct 15, 2007 Amy is currently reading it
Recommends it for: married couples; engaged couples
It's nice. Wangerin is a bit flowery in his wording. The parts on forgiveness are good. The floweriness is hard for me to wade through at times. Good at its heart. Not bad so far.
Apr 07, 2007 Jeremy rated it it was amazing
The only helpful book I've read on marriage. And, subject aside, a finely written book. If you ever consider giving someone a book on marriage, don't consider any other book.
Courtney Beck
Feb 05, 2008 Courtney Beck rated it it was amazing
I've read quite a few books about marriage and this is the best one I've read. Really good. If you are married, want to get married, you should read it. so good.
Jan 14, 2014 Hope rated it really liked it
I've read dozens of books on marriage but this is one of the best.
Apr 25, 2008 Amy rated it it was amazing
Shelves: marriage
One of the best marriage books I've ever read. The stories are beautiful, though the theology sometimes gets a bit long.
Nov 04, 2012 Kristina rated it it was amazing
My husband thinks this is the best marriage book we have read. I might agree with him... still debating... :-)
Kersten Hamilton
Nov 03, 2010 Kersten Hamilton rated it it was amazing
A book about two humans in a marriage...not about gender rolls, rituals or religious silliness. I like that.
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Walter Wangerin Jr. is widely recognized as one of the most gifted writers writing today on the issues of faith and spirituality. Starting with the renowned Book of the Dun Cow, Wangerin's writing career has encompassed most every genre: fiction, essay, short story, children's story, meditation, and biblical exposition. His writing voice is immediately recognizable, and his fans number in the mill ...more
More about Walter Wangerin Jr....

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“And the strongest trust is built by the smallest actions, the keeping of the little promises. It is the constant truthfulness, the continued dependability, the remembrance of minor things, which most inspire confidence and faith.” 7 likes
“Have you noticed the words which Old Testament people use when someone important calls them by name? They don't say "What?" or "Yes?" They answer with the curious sentence, "Here I am". So much is in that sentence: readiness to respond, a willing servitude, an offering of oneself to the other.” 6 likes
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