Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men

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Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men

3.58 of 5 stars 3.58 · rating details · 563 ratings · 117 reviews

Why do so many guys seem stuck between adolescence and adulthood? Why do so many of them fail to launch? Just what is going on with America's young men?

The passage from adolescence to adulthood was once clear, coherent, and relatively secure: in their late teenage years and early twenties, guys "put away childish things" and entered their futures as responsible adults. Tod...more Why do so many guys seem stuck between adolescence and adulthood? Why do so many of them fail to launch? Just what is going on with America's young men?

The passage from adolescence to adulthood was once clear, coherent, and relatively secure: in their late teenage years and early twenties, guys "put away childish things" and entered their futures as responsible adults. Today growing up has become more complex and confusing as young men drift casually through college and beyond--hanging out, partying, playing with tech toys, watching sports. But beneath the appearance of a simple extended boyhood, a more dangerous social world has developed, far away from the traditional signposts and cultural signals that once helped boys navigate their way to manhood.

The average young American man today is moving through a new stage of development, a buddy culture unfazed by the demands of parents, girlfriends, jobs, kids, and other nuisances of adult life. Sociologist and gender studies authority Michael Kimmel has identified this territory as "Guyland," a place that is both a stage of life and a new social arena.

Guyland is the locker room writ large: the world where young men both test and prove themselves as men and develop the defining attitudes and self-images they will carry into adulthood. Kimmel has interviewed hundreds of young men ages sixteen to twenty-six in high schools and college fraternity houses, military academies and sports bars, to better understand Guyland's rules and restrictions, its layers of peer pressure and gender policing, its features and artifacts--from the ordinary (video games, sports, and music) to the extreme (violent fraternity initiations, sexual predation).

In mapping the social world where tomorrow's men are made, Kimmel offers a view into the minds and times of America's sons, brothers, and boyfriends, and works toward redefining what it means to be a man today--and tomorrow. Only by understanding this world and this life stage can we enable young men to chart their own paths, to stay true to themselves, and to travel safely through Guyland, emerging as responsible and fully formed men of integrity and honor.(less)

Hardcover, 352 pages

Published August 26th 2008 by Harper

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Jul 02, 2011 Tiny Pants rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: academic, gender, sociology

I don't want to out and out trash this book, because there are glimmers of brilliance in it. Unfortunately, most of those insights last all of a paragraph, and then we're back with the meat of the book, which I would describe most uncharitably as: A rehash of arguments from Manhood in America and The Gendered Society dumbed-down and cuted-up to a "this'd better get me on the Today Show level." Sorry, but no one is going to start calling a life stage "Guyland," no matter how many times you diss J...more

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Oct 09, 2008 Lauren rated it 2 of 5 stars

I read that this book was like a male version of "Reviving Ophelia", and it was not, which was disappointing. Kimmel sort of writes about guyland as if he has never met a guy before in his life? Maybe he just treats the subject too sociolog-ey. "Watch as the interesting creatures submit to the barbaric ritual they refer to as 'POWER. HOUR.'" (I'm paraphrasing.) Or maybe it's because I went to a frat heavy college, so I wasn't surprised to hear about POWER. HOUR and KEG. STANDS. And since I'm a g...more

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Jan 10, 2009 Elevate Difference rated it 4 of 5 stars

Guyland is less of a place than an attitude, a realm of existence. Occupied by young, single, white men, its main demographic is middle class kids who are college-bound, college co-eds, or recent graduates in the United States. They live in communal housing with fraternity brothers or other recent grads. They work entry-level jobs but act aimless. They have plenty of time to party like they did in college and subsist on pizza, beer, and a visual diet of cartoons, sports, and porn. They hook up w...more Guyland is less of a place than an attitude, a realm of existence. Occupied by young, single, white men, its main demographic is middle class kids who are college-bound, college co-eds, or recent graduates in the United States. They live in communal housing with fraternity brothers or other recent grads. They work entry-level jobs but act aimless. They have plenty of time to party like they did in college and subsist on pizza, beer, and a visual diet of cartoons, sports, and porn. They hook up with women, but rarely form meaningful relationships. Sociologist Michael Kimmel might sound like he’s stereotyping, but years of research confirm what many of us already know: Guyland, as described in the book of the same name, is a world occupied by a specific type of privileged, entitled, young, white male, one who probably watches The Man Show on SpikeTV and listens to gangsta rap with no hint of irony.

Kimmel has written extensively about this culture with no name, a culture that appears so ubiquitous on large, public U.S. university campuses, it can seem redundant to label it at all. Yet in Guyland, Kimmel deconstructs the many problems associated with this lifestyle, and perhaps most importantly, how it can stunt the growth of young men (and women) with true potential.

The critique of Guyland includes a laundry list of offensive behaviors and attitudes. Crude male bonding encourages a specific type of homosocial behavior that dictates strict masculinity, which makes gay baiting a common practice. Women who reject Guyland lads are suspected lesbians, and female friends are treated as accessories or potential “friends with benefits,” assuming they don the required baseball cap and oversized sweatshirt so as not to unnecessarily tempt their male buddies. This gender policing also exists in athletics, where even when cross-racial bonding occurs, you still prove yourself “guy or gay.” The “jockocracy” ends up extending into many facets of young men’s lives, making violent athletic culture norms everyday experiences, cultivating competition, silence, and fear.

Men in Guyland watch pornography in large groups, not to get off, but to discuss humiliating the women to whom they feel entitled. Binge drinking and partying all weekend are common behaviors, both in college and beyond. No one acts particularly interested in committed relationships, though many men interviewed assume they will one day marry and have children. The contradictions continue throughout the entire book, as entitled young men voice to Kimmel their desires without introspection about how to reach them.

While thorough, the main problem with Kimmel’s assessment is that in trying to be fair, he ends up excusing behavior. While individuals and their actions are clearly different from the harmful whole of Guyland’s influence, continuously explaining that most young men are good and harmless reinforces the privilege associated with men who defend the actions of other men. There may not be any efficient way to draw a line between violent offenders and naïve college guys who get caught up in a culture of complicit silence, but defending them is demeaning and deeply offensive to those who are hurt by their actions.

Kimmel also spends much time explaining that the men he writes about are generally middle class and white, yet never once is the phrase “white privilege” used. Perhaps I’m taking issue where some see none, but in order to fully address a problem, it must be named. To constantly skirt around the issue, to name race without defining the system that holds its power in place, does a disservice to the problem at hand, as well as the author’s otherwise insightful analysis. This truth may be difficult for the population at large to swallow, but in omitting key elements from his text, Kimmel failed the groups his book could otherwise benefit: women, people of color, and people who identify as LGBTQI.

Guyland should come with a warning for those who have lived – personally or indirectly – through the trauma that can go hand in hand with a violent male culture: those who have survived assault, those who have done permanent damage from binge drinking, and those who have lost their identities trying to keep up with the expectations of men. The statistics and stories recounted in Guyland are often terrorizing, and despite helpful suggestions for turning things around, this isn’t always a narrative of hopeful rehabilitation.

Despite its flaws, Guyland is highly informative, especially for those who haven’t been living in the midst of young white guy culture for the last decade. It picks up where books like Stiffed and Female Chauvinist Pigs left off, exploring the nuances of male bonding, sports culture, and hazing. It credits feminism for helping men bounce back from their time in a pornified wasteland and offers hope that, as a culture, we can begin turning things around for young men, beginning as early as middle school. It isn’t light reading to pair with a Glamor magazine, but it does take a necessary look at an increasingly pervasive part of our culture and names ways we can all begin to change the status quo.

Review by Brittany Shoot(less)

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Apr 28, 2013 Stephen rated it 3 of 5 stars

Guyland takes as its subject the extended adolescence of middle-class young men, who instead of assuming the rights and responsibilities of manhood right out of high school or in college, are instead deferring it until their late twenties. In this expansion of boyhood, they spend their time loafing around in college or in dead-end jobs, when they aren't drinking themselves into stupors, "hooking up" with girls, and staying up all night playing video games. This youth culture is somehow rooted in...more

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May 05, 2012 Sara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: emerging-adulthood, gender

This particular book is a precursor to some which I have recently reviewed, in particular, it laid the groundwork for Kay Hymowitz’s “Manning Up,” and was also referenced in Whitmore’s “Why Boys Fail.” The book is prefaced with a poem harshly criticizing America’s “boys will be boys” attitude towards the irresponsible, reckless, violent, and even criminal ways that many boys express themselves throughout adolescence and carried over into early manhood. The author begins by looking at a number of...more This particular book is a precursor to some which I have recently reviewed, in particular, it laid the groundwork for Kay Hymowitz’s “Manning Up,” and was also referenced in Whitmore’s “Why Boys Fail.” The book is prefaced with a poem harshly criticizing America’s “boys will be boys” attitude towards the irresponsible, reckless, violent, and even criminal ways that many boys express themselves throughout adolescence and carried over into early manhood. The author begins by looking at a number of college and post-collegiate young men, some hardworking and studious, some carefree and partiers and notes that most of the young men that he interviewed are educated or being educated, and come from middle to upper class families. He then describes the extended adolescence of these privileged young men, who have the luxury of no commitments, no pressing responsibilities: “Guyland is the world in which these young men live. It is both a stage of life, a liminal undefined time span between adolescence and adulthood that can often stretch for a decade or more, a place, or rather, a bunch of places where guys gather to be guys with each other, unhassled by the demands of parents, girlfriends, jobs, kids, and the other nuisances of adult life. In this topsy-turvy, Peter-Pan mindset, young men shirk the responsibilities of adulthood and remain fixated on the trappings of boyhood, while the boys they still are struggle heroically to prove that they are real men despite all evidence to the contrary” (4).

Kimmel examines the social, cultural, and economic changes which have created the opportunity for the emergence of Guyland, pointing to the commonly accepted life-stage events which lead to adulthood: leaving home, completing education, beginning a career, marriage, and parenthood (24), and how many, possibly most, twenty-somethings and even thirty-somethings have yet to attain a majority of these milestones. This has been noted across the board in terms of gender, race, and class, but Kimmel focuses on how this has contributed to the continued appeal of Guyland, citing the attitude of “What’s the rush?” He also looks at the “guy code,” asking dozens of men, “what does it mean to be a man?” then explores how this is expressed throughout high school, college, and young adulthood. He also looks at the trappings of Guyland — games, pornography, sex — as well as the women who venture in. Finally, Kimmel looks at what happens on the other side of Guyland, when guys finally grow up and become men, and the negative repercussions of it, as well as what can be done to help them deconstruct Guyland into a healthier, empowering experience.

Some of the stories that Kimmel uncovers when interviewing teens and young adults are horrifying, and he observes that normal, regular guys are capable of both committing terrible crimes, and, through the Guy Code, the culture of loyal, complicit silence, becoming conspirators with those who commit the crimes: “the bystanders may think that they withdraw their support — by turning away, leaving the scene, or just standing stoically by — but their silence reinforces the behaviors anyway” (67). He relates stories of sexual and physical abuse, of bullying and tormenting others because of their beliefs or sexual orientations, of men who use and abuse alcohol and drugs. He reiterates the fact that by accepting these behaviors and shrugging it off by saying “boys will be boys,” we as a society are equally to blame for not only the crimes, but the loss of these young men and their potential. As parents, educators, employers, by making excuses for these guys, he argues, we are only encouraging and prolonging their stay in Guyland. This really is an excellent study of early manhood in contemporary society, and is highly recommended for those interested in the subject.(less)

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May 15, 2011 Sophia rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, coming-of-age, gender, non-fiction

Guyland is an interesting and thought-provoking book. Sociologist Michael Kimmel charts Guyland as both a now-extended life stage between adolescence and adulthood and a social arena with its own set of rules and cultural imperatives. Young men, roughly between ages 16 and 26, are now spending more years living in a buddy culture with its "boys will be boys" behaviors (playing video games and sports, boozing, and hooking up)—and emerging less equipped for adult living. An unwritten Guy Code prom...more

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Apr 07, 2011 Cassandra rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: nf, 2011, g-feminism

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May 10, 2009 Hoss rated it 4 of 5 stars

I wanted to give this 5 stars but ultimately did not because his case studies and examples are a little too narrow. He makes a good case using statistics that the culture of fraternities filled with white men is overwhelmingly toxic on many college campuses. He then asserts that similar problems exist with other white men of the same age who didn't go to college but provides little evidence for it. So I really liked what he says, and it rings true to me from my own experience, but I think the ev...more I wanted to give this 5 stars but ultimately did not because his case studies and examples are a little too narrow. He makes a good case using statistics that the culture of fraternities filled with white men is overwhelmingly toxic on many college campuses. He then asserts that similar problems exist with other white men of the same age who didn't go to college but provides little evidence for it. So I really liked what he says, and it rings true to me from my own experience, but I think the evidence he uses for a broader critique outside of college life is weak.

The basic assertion here is that partly due to a lack of adult influence and guidance, and partly due to petulance and childishness, a large number of whilte guys are opting out of becoming responsible adults, choosing instead to stay perpetually free but juvenile, and have a developed a toxic, self-reinforcing idea of what being a guy is all about, and strongly policing all behaviors that would shatter that illusion and reveal them as sad, angry, selfish boys. You can kinda tell from my language here that this conforms with my observations of reality.

But I agree that there is such a thing as guyland, and to me it feels like it's the 22 year old version of what 1st grade males told each other about how things were. When I was in 1st grade, it was widely known that sex was about boys peeing into girls. Absent adult education at this point, we had come up with our own definition of what it must be, and we were pretty damn confident about it. After all, my good friend on the playground had confided this secret, he knew lots of stuff I didn't, surely this was trustworthy information? Well, guyland to me is a lot like 1st grade. There are a wide variety of rules about what "being a man" means which include but are not limited to:

drinking a lot
sleeping with a lot of women
not pussy-whipped (i.e. agree with girls when they have a difference of opinion with the young gods known as men)
not crying (except at sports)
not having emotions in general other than anger
enjoying porn and strip clubs (I was just last night castigated by a good friend for have the opinion that strip clubs were not a remotely healthy environment for anyone involved)

But this list comes from the same "authoritative" place as it did in 1st grade. A bunch of guys who don't know what the hell they're talking about. It's a made-up ridiculous culture with no outside adult influence to say that they really don't know what they're talking about. They genuinely don't know what growing up means (and fear that it's probably a ball and chain on their happiness and freedom) and no one is giving them any hints at all.

I think what gets people's back up about this critique is most people look at this list (or better ones, I'm sure I left something important out) and say "well, no one I know even fits half of those" but that's kind of the point. Most guys I've ever met in my life including myself have hang-ups on at least ONE of those things, usually a lot more, and even one of those things can keep you from becoming a fully realized human being. For instance, if you think being a man is just about sleeping around with as many women as possible, you get frustrated after a while because you don't feel satisfied doing that. Of course, as any guy who's gotten past guyland can tell them, of course that doesn't make you happy. What makes you happy or at least happier and more fulfilled is having an emotionally intimate relationship with another human being, and once you've got that, sex with that person starts to get really good. But not one of their peers gets this so there's no help to be found there, and there aren't enough adults with connections into these groups of overgrown children to model it for them. There's also a culture of silence and intimidation that tries to shut down the conversation when anyone tries to bring it up.

I'm not sure that the problem with guyland has any easy solution. If you confront them with anger and bluntness I want to use they'll probably just get defensive and no learning will occur. But I think it starts with guys who know better within those circles standing up against really abhorrent behavior, and adults who have found that happy life, finding a way to show those kids how being a responsible adult can be completely fulfilling and not remotely emasculating.

I think largely what I'm taking away from this is I'm not going to shut up about it anymore. If you display an unwarranted sense of male entitlement and especially if you're over, oh say 25, you're going to hear about it from me (hopefully). It's time to grow up kids. I promise it doesn't hurt as much as you think it will.(less)

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May 01, 2009 Nicola rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: gender, non-fiction, recommended, sociology

The traditional markers of reaching manhood have long ago been eroded: most males are in their late-twenties/early-thirties before they have a “real” job, a marriage, kids or their own home. Michael Kimmel examines the wasteland that exists after adolescence, where males are not men, just “guys”.

These 18-25-year-old guys tend to be overeducated but underemployed, with a sense of entitlement that does not align with the privilege that they don’t receive. “Hooking up” with girls is just another sp...more The traditional markers of reaching manhood have long ago been eroded: most males are in their late-twenties/early-thirties before they have a “real” job, a marriage, kids or their own home. Michael Kimmel examines the wasteland that exists after adolescence, where males are not men, just “guys”.

These 18-25-year-old guys tend to be overeducated but underemployed, with a sense of entitlement that does not align with the privilege that they don’t receive. “Hooking up” with girls is just another sport to discuss with their (male) friends. They’ve been socialized to feel that anger is the only acceptable emotion, and all life’s worries can be papered over with the pronouncement that “it’s all good”.

I’m a total geek for Gender & Women’s Studies, but even I was surprised by how much I loved this book. I happened to start reading another GWS/Sociology book soon after I finished this one and the difference between them is immense – there’s none of the usual dry academia-speak in Guyland; Kimmel writes with the easy panache of a magazine writer.

If there’s an expert in the field of teenage masculinity, it’s probably Kimmel (and, okay, people aren’t exactly lining up to take that crown from him ;). That depth of knowledge and academic experience really elevates the book. I’ve found Kimmel borderline-annoying in previous journal articles on similar subjects, but here he is almost unerringly thoughtful and objective. Guyland is well divided up into easy-to-digest segments, but its overarching themes always remain clear. It’s an extremely compelling read.

Though compelling, Guyland is not always an easy book to deal with. I found the chapter on “party rape” very tough to get through. Kimmel also overcooks it a little with his “advice” – that communication and nurture are necessary for males even after they’ve “flown the nest” are worthy comments, but Kimmel pounds his points into the ground a little too hard.

Nonetheless, Guyland is definitely a book I would recommend. Kimmel’s sense that he doesn’t want his young son to grow into a rudderless, amoral “guy” is palpable. It’s hard to change society, but being able to spot its faults is an important first step. I should note that it’s not just a book about guys – there was plenty of stuff that I, as a 24-year-old non-guy could relate to. In fact, I found it comforting in a “well, at least I’m not alone” sort of way.(less)

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Apr 14, 2009 Emily rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: those with sons, grandsons, nephews--anyone with young men in their influence

Recommended to Emily by: Al Ricci

Quite a fascinating book! I actually started reading this book in October and it so intrigued me that I got my hands on my own copy and finished it. Kimmel explores the culture and stage-of-life that he calls "Guyland." It's essentially that limbo of irresponsibility that many 16-30 year old men seem to be stuck in these days. The lifestyle includes lots of video games, hooking up, binge-drinking, group pornography viewing, purposely working dead-end jobs in order to maintain a party lifestyle,...more

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May 14, 2012 David rated it 5 of 5 stars

Just finished reading this book. if you have a teenage son, or a teenage daughter who is around teenage boys, you want to read it. it is a disturbing but enlightening look at what our culture has done to "growing up" as a young man. One review says it better than me:

"This is a shocking look into the world of young men from 16 to 24. The book is a interesting read because of the uncertainty of masculinity during those years. There is a constant fight to be accepted and manly during those years wh...more

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Aug 23, 2012 Katherine rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: grrrlpower

OK, i agree that this is predominately a "sociology for the masses" book, along the lines of "pledged." nothing wrong with that at all, except for the fact that this study gives us over 250 pages of really disturbing and frankly just sad data and then provides a disproportionate seven pages of "what we can do to help our men." i recognize that this is not a behavioral workbook or a self-help book, but still, after reading so much disheartening and upsetting material, i'd like to have at least a...more OK, i agree that this is predominately a "sociology for the masses" book, along the lines of "pledged." nothing wrong with that at all, except for the fact that this study gives us over 250 pages of really disturbing and frankly just sad data and then provides a disproportionate seven pages of "what we can do to help our men." i recognize that this is not a behavioral workbook or a self-help book, but still, after reading so much disheartening and upsetting material, i'd like to have at least a sense that as a woman, my desire to shift both perceptions and actions of young men could be both relevant and effective. also, this is really more of a study of "bro" culture: mainly white frat guys. the study acknowledges this bias in the preface, but the title should be updated for 2012. it's a survey of bro culture, not exactly "pledged" for guys, but the study does cover mainly college interactions like hazing, hooking up, fraternal homoeroticism, etc. it also addresses the ideas of delaying adulthood and the sense that men hold that women are there to force them to grow up, man up, and provide for the family. the study is well-written and impeccably researched, but as a woman reading this i felt majorly depressed at times. first of all, not all guys are like those represented here: i actually know only a handful of "preppy" types, and it sucked to actually wonder if my more "sensitive type" guy friends were also harboring similar sentiments about women and the "intrusion" of feminism into their lives. makes me question the motives and honesty of my guy friends, which i'm not sure is fair or accurate, but may in fact be very necessary if unpleasant. there are a lot of topics covered here, so not everything is as developed as we'd like it to be, which is understandable, so we get a great overview. but this book rouses a lot more contempt in me and my understanding of guys than it does pity. i feel more marginilized, disrespected, sexualized, used, and mistreated by men having read the book than i did before. the book does a good job of successfuly invalidating relationships and interactions with men that i gave a lot of credit to. now i'm not so sure. a good read as a lady if you want to really challenge yourself and your role and presence in perpetuating and participating in "bro culture," which, although i'm admittedly distant from, i think runs across more sectors of male societies and personalities than this study may let on. very thought provoking, but wow, very depressing. (less)

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Dec 19, 2011 Scot rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is a quick read sociology-for-the-masses overview of male bonding culture in the current extended period of adolescence (roughly, from around age 14/15 through 26--and into later years for those who are caught in what was earlier called "the Peter Pan Syndrome." No startling insights here, though some useful points are made, including how much of the self-definition in this social framework comes from constantly re-establishing oneself as macho, as not a wimp. (wimp = gay, as in "that's so...more

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Nov 21, 2010 Jack Donovan rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: honor-manhood-masculinity

In Guyland, Kimmel describes and analyzes young American males with all the civilized horror of an eighteenth century missionary reporting on the customs and activities of naked heathen cannibals. These savages, born innocent and full of childish wonder, learn early to fear the scorn of their male peers and become so desperate for male approval that they will engage in bizarre and often criminal behavior. Enter “Guyland,” a human terrain inhabited by young men that Kimmel maps only by the most e...more In Guyland, Kimmel describes and analyzes young American males with all the civilized horror of an eighteenth century missionary reporting on the customs and activities of naked heathen cannibals. These savages, born innocent and full of childish wonder, learn early to fear the scorn of their male peers and become so desperate for male approval that they will engage in bizarre and often criminal behavior. Enter “Guyland,” a human terrain inhabited by young men that Kimmel maps only by the most extreme and sensational accounts of fraternity hazing, excessive gambling, sports obsession, drunkenness, video game addiction and gang rapes. Kimmel is at his most even handed and truthful when, as an avid sports fan, he writes about sports talk with his son and the influence that sports have on men’s lives. But for most of Guyland, he’s a critical outsider looking in – Kimmel, a Jew, offers that he was unable to join a fraternity in college because of the ethnic restrictions of the era, and Kimmel’s C.V. shows that he’s spent the majority of his adult life seeking the approval of feminist women. (He was one of the first males to attend and graduate from Vassar.)

Like many women and bookish solipsists, Kimmel looks at the male world and sees fear of social disapproval as a primary motivator for typical male behaviors, but this is spin and half-truth. For instance, if you only read Kimmel and had little firsthand experience dealing with “guys” in real life as peers, you’d think that young men only drank heavily because of peer pressure, campus rituals and outmoded masculine ideals. I read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max alongside Guyland. Max’s stories about drinking and “hooking up” filled out Kimmel’s caricature and reminded me that men often drink together to create conflict and excitement out of the sense of boredom with polite, modern society that Kimmel acknowledges but fails to truly understand. Men drink to relax, and sometimes to wallow in self-pity, but men drink in packs for the story. Lionel Tiger was correct when he observed that men bond during aggression, and heavy drinking puts average guys in “safe crisis.” They fight their own bodies, concoct strategies to pick up girls, narrowly avoid or get into fights with other men. They do and say things they normally wouldn’t. Crazy things happen. Young men drink together because they’re looking for a good bad time, a story to tell, proof that something happened. While Tucker Max’s tales often involve boasting, they are just as often self-deprecating and have an honest humanity to them that doesn’t come across in Kimmel’s ethnography. For Kimmel, the only “guys” with any humanity are the ones who resist or reject the culture of “guyland.” Coming from the leading feminist scholar of “men’s studies” in America, this thesis feels more than a little self-congratulatory.

Guyland isn’t really an attempt to understand “guys.” It’s ultimately more of an exercise in telling women, feminists and frightened parents the horror stories they want to hear about the “privileged” white American male.
(less)

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Jul 06, 2011 Zach rated it 4 of 5 stars

Guyland is an observation of the "macho" culture that pervades high school and college. It's written in a very anecdotal voice, which is accessible, though it leads Kimmel to paint in sometimes too-broad strokes. The book's message is one of male privilege and power, how that power perpetuates itself, and the fact that many males are uncomfortable with such, even though they perform such actions because it's how they "should" be.

For me, this book put into words everything I found so disgusting a...more Guyland is an observation of the "macho" culture that pervades high school and college. It's written in a very anecdotal voice, which is accessible, though it leads Kimmel to paint in sometimes too-broad strokes. The book's message is one of male privilege and power, how that power perpetuates itself, and the fact that many males are uncomfortable with such, even though they perform such actions because it's how they "should" be.

For me, this book put into words everything I found so disgusting about the typical guy culture in which I was raised. It was a relief to learn that my hesitancy to engage in such a culture is normal, and to have themes and thoughts tacked on to descriptions of such gave depth to my simple revulsion. It made me happy to read that I did okay by avoiding this culture.

However, this book is not perfect, and I think that it would be easy to be turned off by the subject matter. First of all, Guyland is largely an observation of fraternity culture. While it's easy to be dismissive of that ("I've never been at a party where a bunch of bros gang-raped somebody,") I also think it serves as an apt subject matter because frat culture contains the most highly-concentrated "guy"-ness. So, while not all aspects of the book will ring true (gang-rape, homoerotic ritualization,) they frame seemingly lesser issues within a larger context.

Also, Kimmel occasionally takes a sanctimonious, condescending tone. While his description of drinking as "obliterating one's brain" (or some such; I'm paraphrasing) is objectively true, it comes across like a cranky dad. I doubt that will win him many supporters.

The book does not seek to resolve any of those issues, which is frustrating. I would like to read about successful strategies of coping with or ending such behavior, as the current format feels open-ended. However, it also ensures the book remains within its scope, which is a description of upper-middle class American male culture.

I'd recommend this for any male who feels sensitive or out of place in mainstream culture. It's a refreshing read.(less)

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Nov 28, 2012 Colleenish rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: for-teaching, for-fun, male-books, non-fiction, social-justice

I liked this book, but I wished for a little more from it. Mostly, I wish the author had hammered home some of his conclusions more overtly. He spent pages and pages on the problems, but glossed over what can be done.

The arguments about what is the reality of adolescent and 20-something male culture were presented well. I really didn't like reading all about hazing and sexuality, but I though the author approached it with insight, neatly complicating the politicized issues enough.

I loved his co...more

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Mar 31, 2013 A.J. rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013, psych-behavior-misc, sociology-sexuality

I’m all over the place about this book. I learned some things, but overall it lacked focus and many of the quotes seemed contrived.

I thought the intro was all over the map and the promotional quotes on the back didn’t really describe the content of the book. As for the chapters, the author brings up important topics which are for the most part well organized. But as soon as he gets on a subject he throws out an extreme quote to back up what he’s saying and then uses sweeping generalizations to w...more

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Mar 08, 2009 Carol rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: social-issues

The book cover says "must reading for parents whose sons are about to start college." So now I've read it and I don't feel particularly empowered as I send my son off to school next fall. There are surely enough stories to make a parent consider a local university with room and board at home. However, I don't believe all young men are truly as alcohol soaked, sex crazy, and video game addicted as the author portrays. I would have liked to see more positive examples of guys who broke the mold and...more

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Oct 24, 2010 Peter rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

A really solid run through of modern masculinity and the formerly-transitory-but-now-permanent adolescence, in a very constructive "this is bad for us (you)" way, rather than a "you're a bad person for doing this" way. That can be fun for the out-group, but it never gets anywhere with the in-group, and I feel like this is a really solid book for anyone who regularly inhabits or tries to bridge the gap to the in-group. If you spend time with people who say "bros before hos" without irony, there's...more

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Mar 02, 2010 Katie rated it 2 of 5 stars

Couldn't finish this. It's an important topic, but this treatment is marred by a far too narrow focus (upper middle class spoiled white boys) and Kimmel's completely obnoxious writing style. The whole thing could boil easily down to "stop raising your kids like they are owed the world, elite people!" but Kimmel is quick to exculpate individuals ("this isn't about bad parenting!" he says regarding boys who...rape and assault; "these aren't a bunch of raving psychotics!" he assures us regarding bo...more

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Jul 12, 2012 Rachel rated it 3 of 5 stars

Guyland is a study on adolescent / young adult masculinity. In my opinion, this is more appropriate for those who are taking an academic or sociological interest in the topic of gender, rather than reading this just for fun. However, that being said, this is has a number of incredibly interesting premises and would be very valuable for readings in a class to start debate or get students thinking about gender and manhood in a different way. A large problem with this book (and that of many books o...more

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Oct 25, 2010 Sam Lindsay-levine rated it 2 of 5 stars

This was recommended to me by a feminist blog that I read regularly, feministing.com.

I felt like it was all right for what it was - a look at a pretty narrow subculture of white upper-class young men who attend a particular type of college in a particular kind of living situation - but not only was it all rather foreign to me (a white upper-class young man who attended college) I was left unsure of what conclusions to draw or how widespread I should imagine this toxic subculture is.

I came away f...more

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Jun 27, 2011 Angela rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I thought this book presented a necessary look at masculinity and male developmental culture. He uses extreme examples in some cases and it was sometimes not a pleasure to read because it was so explicit. It definitely made me more sensitive to these behaviors of male entitlement and acting out when men feel like they are failing or when they aren't getting what they feel the world owes them. It helped me open the door to have honest conversations with the men and boys around me about things tha...more

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Apr 30, 2012 Gabe Dybing rated it 3 of 5 stars

Next year's common book for Winona State University. I'm fairly certain I'll be teaching it. I value this book, probably most of all, because it has given me some insight into what my now-12-year-old son is going through or shortly will be going through. I myself never encountered this world. In one way, I avoided it because I was an English-type. Probably because I was sensitive and well-read, most people assumed I was gay, and I was fine with this, and just avoided the "guys" who weren't in my...more

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Oct 24, 2009 Liz (Consumed by Books) rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 3-star, non-fiction, own, class-introduction-to-women-s-and-g

This was another book that I read for my intro to women's and gender studies class and on the whole, I really enjoyed it. This book is all about the world that white, upper-middle class American boys grow up in. I think that this is a particularly important book for college students and parents.

Kimmel's writing is not overly dense, but he definitely still sounds intelligent and this book is still very well researched on the whole. It's hard to write a review of this book, because it's a book one...more

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Jun 13, 2009 A.e. Stueve rated it 5 of 5 stars

I read the entire book for this one paragraph near the end:

"In the end we need to develop a new model of masculinity. Young men must understand on a deep level that being a real man isn't going along with what you know in your heart to be cruel, inhuman, stupid, humiliating, and dangerous. Being a real man means doing the right thing, standing up to immorality and injustice when you see it, and expressing compassion, not contempt, for those who are less fortunate. In other words, it's about bein...more

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May 31, 2011 Jon rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011-summer-reads, non-fiction

I'm not a sociologist and therefore can't comment on how this book stacks up against the other critical literature about masculinity and guy culture. But I found this book to be quite accessible and full of thoughtful discussion that a layperson like myself could understand and think about. While my own high school and college experiences seem much tamer than many of those discussed in the book, I still found that Kimmel's arguments were sound - the details might be different, but the underlying...more

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Apr 21, 2013 Jessica rated it 3 of 5 stars

I liked this book quite a lot. I think it is both useful and necessary. In light of that, I think that it could have been better than it was. It could have stretched itself.

There were also some things that I found to be problematic. For example, Kimmel asserts that all girls' hazing serves to uphold the male hierarchy, with the implication that it all involves such things as performing mock fellatio on a boy while ignoring the fact that girls have their own separate Girlland as much as guys hav...more I liked this book quite a lot. I think it is both useful and necessary. In light of that, I think that it could have been better than it was. It could have stretched itself.

There were also some things that I found to be problematic. For example, Kimmel asserts that all girls' hazing serves to uphold the male hierarchy, with the implication that it all involves such things as performing mock fellatio on a boy while ignoring the fact that girls have their own separate Girlland as much as guys have Guyland, and that while girls may have to live in Guyland, not everything they do is directly related to it. Related to this, I took issue with such ideas as girls wearing jeans denoting their participation in "guyification."

In a few instances, as well, Kimmel gives some patently wrong information, such as when he asserts that boys are more likely than girls to be depressed. In fact, there were several places where he made statements about psychology but didn't really seem to understand what he was asserting. For example, in regard to psychopathic shooter Eric Harris, he says, "if Harris was indeed so deranged, then it begs the question of why no one in the entire school ever seems to have noticed." This betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of what psychopathy entails. I don't expect everyone to be well-versed in the intricacies of psychology, but if you are going to make your points using it, then please understand it first.

On a larger scale, though, Kimmel does a great job of considering and explaining the context in which guys live and how societal constructs of masculinity create and sustain most of the abhorrent behaviors we condemn. It is a societal and cultural issue, not just a guy issue. But in that regard, too, Kimmel could have done a better job, could have stretched himself a bit more. In one section, he gives detailed suggestions of what we can do to confront and change Guyland...but only one. Every other section lacks this crucial part. It is fine and dandy to say that Guyland is not a great place for our boys to become men and that we have to burst the bubbles of entitlement, silence, and protection, but then tell me what we are supposed to do about it. When Kimmel says that we need to foster resilience in our boys and teach them how to intervene when activities like hazing and sexual harassment occur, he needs to elaborate and tell us his ideas for how to do that.

This book is so important. Not all guys are the entitled, angry manboys that Kimmel is talking about, but the culture of Guyland caters to those types in particular and so all guys (and girls) ultimately end up having to exist and navigate within it. Given that, it could not be more crucial that we understand that culture. But I would have really loved the author to stretch himself more, to explore many of the ideas that he left hanging, to give us an idea of how we should go about addressing Guyland in our everyday lives, with the guys that we know and love. (less)

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Feb 03, 2009 Amanda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, sociology-education

While I thought there were some topics that were a bit melodramatic, this was a easily readable, slightly nerve-wracking experience. Guyland (the period between the end of puberty and marriage which seems to be stretching further with each generation) is a weird place to be. The author theorizes (in a very simplified version) that (white) men are forever trying to reclaim your superior place in our society that keeps getting invaded and superseded by women. I could see flashes of friends in some...more

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Jul 25, 2010 Carli rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: feminist, non-fiction

This book is a fast read and excellent analysis of the "masculinity" crisis facing young white men in America. I cannot tell you how many young men of my acquaintance (and some of them well past the 26-years-old upper limit that Kimmel mentions) match these descriptions to a tee.

Kimmel rightly explains that the solution to the Guy Code and this crisis of immaturity and irresponsibility lies in feminism.

It has motivated me to probe my male friends about their notions of what makes a "real" man...more

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About Michael S. Kimmel

Michael Scott Kimmel is an American sociologist, specializing in gender studies. He is among the leading researchers and writers on men and masculinity in the world today. The author or editor of more than twenty volumes, his books include The Politics of Manhood, and The History of Men (2005).

His documentary history, "Against the Tide: Pro-Feminist Men in the United States, 1776-1990" (Beacon, 19...more

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“Single parents - both women and men - can play as critical a role as the traditional two-parent family, and gay and lesbian parents can, and do, raise happy, resilient children. When it comes to family life, form is not merely as important as content. Feeling loved and supported, nurtured and safe, is far more critical than the 'package' it comes in.” — 12 people liked it

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