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Love as a Way of Life: Seven Keys to Transforming Every Aspect of Your Life

4.12  ·  Rating Details  ·  574 Ratings  ·  86 Reviews

In his first major work since the publication of his phenomenal bestseller The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman delivers a powerful plan for whole-life happiness, with simple yet intensive exercises and wisdom for finding the life you have always wanted. The way in which our individual lives are improved, says Chapman, is through improving each relationship in your life: w

Hardcover, 256 pages
Published July 15th 2008 by Doubleday (first published January 1st 2008)
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Jul 23, 2012 Debby rated it it was amazing
I chose to read this book b/c I wanted to know what Gary Chapman had to say about loving as a way of life, especially when it's hard or let's say, not so easy. I mean who wouldn't want to learn how to love better? However, it's one of those subjects that you think about but never get around to figuring out where to start or "what" needs tweaked. Personaly, I'd also rather read a book than fork out LOADS of money on some counselor who may not have much on the ball in the area of how to love other ...more
Abner Huertas
¿Qué es amar? es a caso un sentimiento?.

Para muchos el amar debe ser un sentimiento, si no lo hay se decide no amar a alguien. Con amar no me refiero a esa hermosa sensación de pareja sino al interesarte verdaderamente por los demás. ¿por qué se "acaba" el amor en las parejas?.... mucho de esto es dado a que vemos el amor como algo que se debe sentir.

Y qué tal si vemos el amor como una actitud intencional? En este libro Gary Chapman nos sugiere 7 características que debemos tú y yo desarrollar s
Jan 09, 2010 Jessica rated it did not like it
[audiobook:] So annoying. Maybe I was mistaken in thinking that this book would be a "Christian" book, but more than an hour into it, he had yet to even mention God's name. I thought God was love... so maybe you should base what you're saying in who He is and what His Word says? What a concept. Maybe someday I'll finish listening to this book, but I'm not sure I can sit through it.

1/9/10: So I finished this book a few weeks ago, and I'm glad to be done with it. I listened to it while I was clean
Mar 13, 2013 Marisha rated it did not like it
I skimmed through every page of this book and noticed that while covering such topics as forgiveness and humility he did not reference any Scripture nor mention Christ until the last chapter of the book, where he talks about serving as Christ did when he washed the disciples feet. I am disheartened that he would write an entire book about love and hardly reference the Bible at all. We cannot teach goodness and virtue apart from the authority of Christ and his Word. We have no good apart from him ...more
Aug 28, 2015 Diana rated it it was amazing
I listened to this as an audiobook on my way to work (at an inner-city high school where there is a serious love deficit in some kids). It was absolutely the perfect thing to hear as you're stuck in traffic or anticipating your to-do list because it gave me a sense of PEACE. Chapman's sweet southern drawl helped, too. I would love to photocopy excerpts of this book and give it to my students as a reading/self-reflection. It would be a great addition to any values education program as well as for ...more
Aug 16, 2008 Erin rated it it was ok
Shelves: inspirational
This is the first book this year that I have started but will not finish. It is the Word of God that changes people, and there is very little of the Bible here. God is Love, and to teach about being a loving person without Him at the center falls flat. The seven principals in this book can largely be found in the Fruit of the Spirit and can never be put into your life by formula. Pick up your Bible if you want to see your life transformed. You cannot spend your time any better!
Wannie Michelmann
Jul 15, 2013 Wannie Michelmann rated it it was amazing
I love the way Gary Chapman always presenting practical stuff we can do. In this book it covers basically how to serve others through patience, love, kindness, courtesy, forgiveness, humility and generosity. It is anti-culture however being holy is being anti-culture. I like this book a lot. It motivates me to want to be better and start looking out for small ways daily to serve others.
Jul 21, 2012 Jessica rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
This was a great book to really find out where you could do a better job of showing people love. It goes through the different characteristics of love and how you can put them into action in your own life. I was able to see for myself where I could do a better job on each area.
Jun 23, 2016 Ari rated it it was amazing
"A wonderful book"

Love is such a difficult topic to dissect. In this book "Love as a way of life", love is being presented as consisting of seven important ingredients: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity and honesty. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and learning about all of them. The writings - real examples and wisdom - are heartfelt and practical. It teaches us not only of how a loving attitude is important in our lives, but have it presented as a way of life that we
Karen Blanchette
Jan 22, 2016 Karen Blanchette rated it did not like it
Ok, so I only made it through halfway through the first subject: "Kindness", so my opinion doesn't have a whole lot to go on, but I just didn't want to keep reading it.

I think my main issue with this book is that I really don't think it said much of anything. I mean, when you think of living a loving life of course kindness is going to be one of your traits. I don't really need a whole chapter of examples on different ways to be kind. I learned that stuff when I was 5. Granted, we don't always d
Oct 05, 2008 Brigid rated it it was ok
As a habit, I don't read self help books, but this one caught my eye at the library. I had to check it out a few times to read it through, since I couldn't seem to stick with it. But, I have read most of it, all except the end which I intend to read soon enough. What I learned from this book was not that eye opening. I believe that after reading this book another person might see where they could be more loving, but most days I think I follow these principles very well. They are very simple and ...more
Dec 12, 2011 Sue rated it really liked it
This book gives a solid foundation for the principles of expressing love to other people. It's written from a Christian perspective, but in a fairly low-key way so that it could be applicable to everyone.

The author proposes that the main methods of behaving in a loving way to strangers as well as family and friends include kindness, forgiveness, courtesy, and honesty. All rather obvious, yet it seems that most people display only one or two of these and need a refresher course in ways to show m
Mandy J. Hoffman
In reading this book I was challenged to re-evaluate how I show love to people in my life. Dr. Chapman's walk through Kindness, Patience, Forgivness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty is rather simple, yet is a good reminder of how we should be fleshing these qualities out each and every day. This is a good book to read or listen to as a refresher course on loving others to stir up our passion for doing so and our creativity in doing so. The fact that there is a book on the market that ...more
Mar 28, 2015 Kathy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction, audio
I really enjoyed listening to this on a long car ride, but by the time I got out of the car I was less kind, patient, forgiving, courteous, humble, generous, and honest than normal. Maybe I need to improve one character trait at a time.
Feb 14, 2014 Bruce rated it it was amazing
I have committed to reading this book every year. The life-changing truths in it are too important to forget. I almost lost a lifelong friendship and this book helped me restore it. I can't recommend it more highly!
Feb 11, 2015 Becki added it
Shelves: book-collector
A very practical look at loving in all areas of life. Love is a choice, not a feeling. And loving others boils down to serving and demonstrating the fruits of the spirit.
It took me much too long to finish this book. I think was a good book - one that I probably need to reread.

Chapman devotes chapters to kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty. He considers these to be the traits of an attitude of love. He goes through each trait and carefully articulates why it ties with love. It is obvious to me, that Chapman has thought long and hard about love.

The author goes on to talk about why these ideas need to be applied to your rela
Jan 08, 2015 Laurie rated it really liked it
Enjoyed exploring in depth the seven qualities of living a life of love. Trying to put these qualities in practice everyday, I confess, is challenging.
Mar 16, 2013 Jason rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: improvement
Great follow up to his Five Love Languages series. The "seven secrets" is 7 aspects of how love is expressed: Kindness, Patience, Forgiveness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty.

The most life-changing idea is that "in love" lasts an average of 2 years (according to studies) - that to love is a choice we must make.

I found it interesting that he allows that "Courtesy" is a social construct: therefore, there is no base principle. I believe courtesy is based on consideration of what others
Stormie Walston
Sep 04, 2013 Stormie Walston rated it liked it
Great advice but he never actually mentions Christ. It's as if he is afraid to turn people off by bringing religion into it so he speaks vaguely, practically using code words like "Love" instead of "God". His information is great and encouraging but I'm afraid he is leading people to a broken cistern. We cannot truly love without the God-given grace to be selfless. What beauty there is in the message of salvation (which is all about love) yet he leaves it almost entirely out of this book. This b ...more
Pat Reuter
Mar 30, 2016 Pat Reuter rated it it was amazing
I liked this book. It gave great reminders on how to live a fulfilling life. I recommend!
Jan 31, 2016 Sarabeara rated it really liked it
Fantastic, challenging, amazing, an eye-opener on relating to people from an outlook of LOVE.
Aug 30, 2014 Rebecca rated it it was amazing
This was excellent, so many good reminders in this book. He has me rethinking how I do many things. I highly recommend!
Nicole L.
May 27, 2014 Nicole L. rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nicole
Excellent book that showed how we can exist where love is just a way of life. Great perspective for parents who seek to be more loving. Recommended read
Sep 26, 2011 Karen rated it it was amazing
Shelves: educational
I know that when I keep bringing up examples from the book I just read in my everyday life that it clearly must have had an impact on me.

This book is everything I believe about who I want to become, all laid out with examples and self analysis checklists. It's sort of a precursor to the 5 love languages, in that, before you can use the love languages, you've got to be a loving person. Once you are working on that, then the love languages help you figure out how to channel that love for each spe
Charles Thornton
Jul 22, 2015 Charles Thornton rated it it was amazing
This book will inspire you to love people the way Jesus did.
Jan 14, 2016 Amanda rated it it was amazing
So much knowledge, wisdom, and good advice fills this book. I have learned some of these lessons in my life already but I wish I had read this book a long time ago.
John Montgomery
Jan 19, 2016 John Montgomery rated it it was amazing
Inspiring and challenging
Feb 23, 2013 Shayne rated it it was amazing
Why is it so hard to follow something so simple? The seven keys Kindness, Patience, Forgivness, Courtesy, Humility, Generosity, and Honesty are simple, strait forward and known to all of us. Yet in every relationship that we have, we have to work at using these traits. Sometimes its easier than others bu in every relationship I could remember to apply these keys a little better. That is what this book did for me. It reminded me who I want to be and how I want to interact with the people around m ...more
Pranada Comtois
Mar 18, 2012 Pranada Comtois rated it liked it
This book fits into the Christian Living category. I'm not a Christian, but a Bhakti practitioner--an Eastern path quite different from the Western Judeo-Christian mindset. But I got a lot from this book. Not only the philosophical exposition, but the sections for personal reflection. This book crosses denominational boundaries, touching the core of what makes us human and delivering the essence of what human evolution could look like.
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Gary Chapman has traveled extensively around the world challenging couples to pursue healthy, growing marriages. His first book, Toward a Growing Marriage (Moody, 1979, 1996), began as an informal resource he gave to couples with whom he was counseling. Once officially published, this book became a blessing to thousands of people and helped launch Gary’s popular “Toward a Growing Marriage” seminar ...more
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