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161st out of 409 books
—
460 voters
Open to Desire: Embracing a Lust for Life - Insights from Buddhism and Psychotherapy
by
Mark Epstein
Bringing wisdom to a fresh and compelling topic, Mark Epstein shows how desire can be a teacher in its own right, helping us to reconcile our conflicting thoughts about it from both a Buddhist and a psychological point of view.
It is common in both Buddhism and Freudian psychoanalysis to treat desire as the root of all suffering and problems, but psychiatrist Mark Epstein
...moreHardcover, 240 pages
Published
January 13th 2005
by Gotham
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185th out of 411 books
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423 voters
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As someone interested in the links between Buddhism and psychotherapy, but with a limited understanding of both I found this book very satisfying. Unsurprisingly, my western brain sometimes struggled with the paradoxical nature of Zen logic. That being said, the scattering of case studies were useful examples of modern-day contexts and encouraged me to continue reading. (In fact, I would love to see Epstein do a whole book of patient case histories, à la Oliver Sacks.)
Overall, there were some v...more
Overall, there were some v...more
There are many elements in the author's discussion of desire that are reminiscent of the Platonic ideas of eros and its two-fold nature. While I found the book interesting, the alternative interpretations of Buddhist stories or concepts at the beginning seemed to take more license than the author actually possessed. This is not to say that he is wrong, but rather his willingness to engage in interpretation of some texts seemed a bit brash. However, I took a great deal from his discussion about h...more
In this book Mark Epstein writes about the nature of desire and how to handle it. Apparently this is a controversial subject, because Buddhist purists object that the Buddha wanted us to cut off desire and have nothing to do with it, but that hardly seems possible, and the Buddha himself almost died employing that strategy.
Epstein argues instead that it isn't desire itself which is a problem, but the craving and clinging that accompany it. Basically, desire is just an energy, and we should open...more
Epstein argues instead that it isn't desire itself which is a problem, but the craving and clinging that accompany it. Basically, desire is just an energy, and we should open...more
We all have desires, be they for cool cars, wealth, thrills, sex, ...heck, even for wisdom and enlightenment. In Buddhism, craving and clinging, i.e. desire per se, is seen as the chief stumbling block to a happy life. I give Epstein great credit for unflinchingly taking on the subject. His theory is that desire, instead of being fought or expunged, ought to be used productively as a tool on the path toward spiritual growth. He's got some good stuff here. Unfortunately he seems perversely to hav...more
As a person driven by some form of desire, yet drawn to Buddhism at the same time, this book got me out of an existential crisis :)
This has been a truly important book for me. After five years of meditation and practice there has been a shift in me. The teachings seem to have distilled in some way and are gradually becoming me. In the process I have begun to face the issues associated with becoming the path, the constant lingering of wanting, the crucible of desire and where that fits has been weaving its way in and out of my mind for months. Once I became aware of how huge that sense of "wanting" is in me and how much of m...more
Oct 11, 2012
Tameca
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
to-read-again,
partially-read
July 17, 2012: I am still making my way through this work (mostly the intro at the moment). Despite my giving it three stars, this book will most likely become a resource for some of the things that I am studying/working on because of the questions that have been arising out of the reading. The margins of my copy look like the margins of books from my literature classes.
I think that this is a brave work and it seems that Epstein is working his ideas out as I read the book. He repeats himself qui...more
I think that this is a brave work and it seems that Epstein is working his ideas out as I read the book. He repeats himself qui...more
This book, by Mark Epstein, combines Buddhism and psychotherapy with knowledge, insight and compassion. Epstein describes the beauty and necessity of desire, how it can be a major positive force for helping people change habits and lifestyles that no longer serve them. I found his insights to be in alignment with my own holistic mental health philosophy, and see how I was already incorporating many of his insights into my own practice with clients. I highly recommend this book!!!
I've never thought much about the parallel lives of Buddhism and psychology, but Epstein does a great job of finding common ground in the two traditions, using the theme of "desire" to tie things together. Desire is a slippery concept in its own right, and under the harsh light of Buddhism everything can seem to recede rapidly into nihilism, but Epstein provides several interesting examples from his own experience to tie things down to real life. I am a bit annoyed at the application of "female"...more
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Nov 02, 2009
Mo Tipton
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
philosophy,
yoga-buddhism
This is a really interesting look at the Buddhist idea of non-attachment. Epstein differentiates between desire and clinging and the ways in which desire can be used as a transformational tool, rather than something to be eradicated (if that were even possible). What I took away from the book is that when one understands that no object, person, or what have you, can ever completely satisfy us, that pursuit of the objects of our desire will never be fulfilling, one can begin to sit in the "gap" b...more
A lengthy, chattering, but sporadically interesting book - goes round and round with thoughts that don't lead much to anywhere - at least in the first half of the book. The gist is: "Things are never fulfilling…" OK…. But I suppose what can be taken away is that desire can be enjoyable if one realizes that it never dies out - ultimate fulfillment is not of this world.
This book uses fairytale-like Western Indian history and Buddhism as well as his own patient experiences to explain the differences between men and women, and the space between people in relationships. It does explore all areas of desire using examples such as the Hungry Ghosts, Rama & Sita, and Ganesh. I found some comfort in it, but not enough.
I loved this book. I had a moment of pure bliss while reading this book. His explanation of how to enjoy art will stay with me forever. His advice was that you had to behold art, you could not get to close or to far away. I also picked up the Ramayana after finding his attraction to it.
A great book.
A great book.
I'm surprised how much I appreciated this book. I wasn't particularly interested in exploring desire; I just wanted to read something new from Mark Epstein.
In this book Mark sticks to his writing formula of explaining eastern philosophy in western psychoanalytic terms, and then sharing a vingette from his personal life, or that of one of his patients. By hitting the same idea from these different perspectives he makes the subject matter engaging and thoroughly informative.
Mark stretches out wi...more
In this book Mark sticks to his writing formula of explaining eastern philosophy in western psychoanalytic terms, and then sharing a vingette from his personal life, or that of one of his patients. By hitting the same idea from these different perspectives he makes the subject matter engaging and thoroughly informative.
Mark stretches out wi...more
Loved some of his other books on the parallels between psychology and Buddhism, and thought I would this one too, but that was not the case. Perhaps the timing was merely off and I'll find my way to it another time.
Well here's a gem. My Kripalu yoga teacher of 7 years, Carole Weinstein, recommended Mark Epstein when I asked for readings on Buddhism. After 16 years of practicing on the mat, I'm ready (no rush now)to explore this perspective more deeply. Epstein's a psychotherapist and, it seems from his writing, a regular guy. He seeks to bring together Western and Eastern psychology. It's a look at love, all kinds. It's good. Plus, it seems he's visited a place called the Charela Inn in Negril, Jamaica. An...more
I loved Epstein's Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart and found it very helpful. This book was published in 2005 and uses stories from Buddhism, Indian mythology, his personal experiences and his private practice as a therapist. I love this combination. There is much to be learned from looking at desire from an open-palmed perspective, as opposed to grasping or clinging. By looking at, and respecting, the gap between lover and beloved, fantasy and reality, there is an opportunity for deepened...more
This book was my companion for a month during which desire had not been kind to me. I'd just about had it with heartache. Shaving my head and heading for a monastery seemed like a good idea. And yet I knew instinctively there was something about reaching for otherness that was sacred - not an obstruction, but part of the journey. Epstein articulated this for me, with beauty and precision.
Epstein, through the lens of Buddhism, suggests that wisdom lies in neither clinging to desire nor trying to snuff it out, but in simply holding it in open palms, as it were, and reflecting on what it might represent to us. A profoundly helpful book, whether your object of desire is a person you can't "have," a lifestyle you crave or anything else.
Jun 01, 2011
Maughn Gregory
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
religion-about-for-and-against,
wisdom-studies
A brilliant, profound work that has already made a difference for me.
I love the thesis - that 'desire' has been maligned and scapegoated in both buddhism and psychotherapy - and he lays out his beginning argument well. However, he uses the Ramayana as sort of a parable to support his assertions and I felt that he was just seeing what he wanted to see in it.
Really feels like I'm going on a self-help kick now...A little bit denser of a read, but very interesting if you're interested in Buddhism and psychotherapy and have done some other reading as well. At least, that's the case for me.
Nov 09, 2008
Margaret
is currently reading it
Read Thoughts without a Thinker first (also by Epstein). Then this one. Both are really lucid illustrations of the working of the mind through the eyes of a Buddhist psychotherapist. Really clear and intuitive.
This is one of my favorite books of the last few years. It really helped me through an existential crisis. I want to find Mark Epstein on the streets of New York and give him a big hug.
When you are searching for sweet peppers, you are gonna run into a lot of hot peppers which look in appearance to be identical to the hot ones. This is what makes desire so much stinkin' "fun."
This book had some lovely insights into relationships. It was somewhat heterocentric, though and I would have liked it better if it felt less stereotypically gendered.
loving it so far, but so dense and thought-provoking that I keep putting it down because I need to be wide awake and super alert to get into it...
It was often unclear whether the author agrees with Buddhist thought. I did not get much out of the book.
This is the 2nd book of his I read and though it covered similar ground I loved it just as much.
I found it insightful and helpful in understanding desire from a buddhist perspective
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“Anxiety and desire are two, often conflicting, orientations to the unknown. Both are tilted toward the future. Desire implies a willingness, or a need, to engage this unknown, while anxiety suggests a fear of it. Desire takes one out of oneself, into the possibility or relationship, but it also takes one deeper into oneself. Anxiety turns one back on oneself, but only onto the self that is already known.”
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19 people liked it
“There is a yearning that is as spiritual as it is sensual. Even when it degenerates into addiction, there is something salvageable from the original impulse that can only be described as sacred. Something in the person (dare we call it a soul?) wants to be free, and it seeks its freedom any way it can. ... There is a drive for transcendence that is implicit in even the most sensual of desires.”
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16 people liked it
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