Truth & Beauty: A Friendship

by Ann Patchett

book data

4,240 ratings, 3.91 average rating, 786 reviews (more data...)

rating	frequency	%
5		28%
4		41%
3		23%
2		4%
1		1%

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published

April 1st 2005 (first published 2004) by Harper Perennial

binding

Paperback, 257 pages

isbn

0060572159 (isbn13: 9780060572150)

description

Ann Patchett and the late Lucy Grealy met in college in 1981, and, after enrolling in the Iowa Writer's Workshop, began a friendship that would be as ...more

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Memoirs by Women

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other reviews (showing 1-20 of 5,742)

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02/14/08

Barbara rated it:

(review of isbn 000719093X)

Read in February, 2008

recommends it for: no one

I didn't care for it, for several reasons. First of all, I didn't think much of the quality of the writing--certainly nothing like Lucy Grealy's in her own memoir. Second, I found both women's behavior in the friendship really strange. Ann seems completely blank in the relationship, never asserting any real personality, and completely enabling Lucy's neediness and selfishness. Lucy just sounded like a black hole, sucking up every bit of attention, affection, needing more and more extravagant ...more

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11/06/07

Khaya rated it:

(review of isbn 000719093X)

bookshelves: memoirs

Wow -- what a fascinating experience, to read "Truth and Beauty" after "Autobiography of a Face" and then to follow up with Suellen Grealy's angry article. I actually thought "Truth and Beauty" was the better book of the two, although perhaps it's not fair to say that because much of my fascination with "Truth and Beauty," at least initially, stemmed from having read "Autobiography of a Face" and the unique, stimulating opportunity to read one p...more Wow -- what a fascinating experience, to read "Truth and Beauty" after "Autobiography of a Face" and then to follow up with Suellen Grealy's angry article. I actually thought "Truth and Beauty" was the better book of the two, although perhaps it's not fair to say that because much of my fascination with "Truth and Beauty," at least initially, stemmed from having read "Autobiography of a Face" and the unique, stimulating opportunity to read one person's memoir and then to read how that person was remembered by a close friend.
First of all, I loved the writing. I forgot I was reading a book half the time; I felt like I was experiencing the friendship and the people myself. Also, while "Autobiography of a Face" was well-written, the story gripped me more than the writing. With "Truth and Beauty," the writing was more singular than the story although I enjoyed both. "Autobiography" explored the dynamics of growing up looking like a freak, while "Truth" described a uniquely intimate? codependent? almost physical? unhealthily close, or just unusually close? friendship -- a more universal topic, but written about in such a fascinating and provocative way.
This book made me think a lot about friendship. When does unique closeness become dysfunctional and unhealthy? When friends fall into the roles of "the sick one" and "the well one," even legitimately, how do they break out of that? And should they? If so, at what point?
It also made me think about sociable, charismatic, life-of-the-party people and whether they're just good at masking and filling (or trying to fill) an inner emptiness. Is it better to be introverted?
Then, reading Suellen Grealy's article (not printed in the book, for obvious reasons) raised even more questions for me. I could empathize with Suellen's feelings of exposure and her sense that her private grief had become something public and marketable. At the same time, at the risk of sounding callous, there's another way to look at this. For example, concerning "Autobiography," she expressed irritation that Lucy had selected her vantage point -- but what do you expect a memoir to be?
In describing Ann Patchett's afterword to "Autobiography," Suellen quoted her sister Sarah as saying, "Where are we in this story?" Ann Patchett was describing her memories of Lucy, which didn't include her sisters, whom she never met while Lucy was alive. I tried to understand -- is she angry about the exposure of Lucy, or about the fact that she wasn't included in this expose?
Then, Suellen reacted to the fact that one reading guide for "Autobiography" questioned her mother's parenting skills, and reported that this was blamed on an inexperienced intern. It's true that this may be insensitive to the family, but once you're going to go there, maybe the book shouldn't have been published at all!
Suellen said that, while she respected Ann Patchett's need to write the book as an artist, she would have preferred that she write it and then bury it somewhere rather than publishing it. Right. I sympathize with Suellen's feelings of exposure, but to hold it against Ann that she spent years writing an excellent book, a book that contributes to the literature canon, and then actually wanted to publish it, is not fair.
This happens to be a problem, as I know because a friend of mine is a writer and a journalist and sometimes angers people who appear in her writings (directly or indirectly) because they feel their privacy has been invaded. It's not that I don't sympathize with Suellen's feelings. I can't imagine what her grief must be like, and then to have it bared so publicly outside of her control. However, "Truth and Beauty" was such a worthwhile book in my opinion that I have a hard time relating to her particular complaints. I guess that any book has the potential to expose and hurt people, especially a memoir. Does that mean it shouldn't be written? Does that mean it shouldn't be read? (less)

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08/30/07

Joyce rated it:

(review of isbn 0060755997)

recommends it for: people with addict friends

The scene of Lucy sitting on Ann's knee, while at a restaurant ... Lucy forcing Ann to tell her "You love me the most"... while Ann feeds her ? rusks of bread ... almost made me throw-up!
I suppose I was disappointed with Ann Patchet's non-fictional character. The book was thought provoking, as you can see that Ann loves Lucy ... as a child.
But you cannot help but want to scream at Ann that she is not helping by enabling her personality disordered friend. Lucy comes by the d...more

Like this review? yes (4 people liked it)

2 comments

01/25/08

Colleen rated it:

Read in January, 2008

I picked up this book because I read "Bel Canto" and loved it, and loved Ann Patchett's writing style. I also think that, in general, friendship does not get enough respect in our society. There's a lot of attention payed to family and lovers, but not much to friends.
This is the story of a friendship between the author and a woman she went to college with. They both end up at the University of Iowa's Writer's Workshop at the same time, and a beautiful, life-long friendship ensue...more

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10/28/07

Charlotte rated it:

Read in February, 2007

I learned how not to treat friends.

I couldn't believe that Ann didn't end her friendship with Lucy after so many irritating incidents on Lucy's part. I would have backed out of sharing an apartment with Lucy if she had jumped up on me when I first arrived at the apartment.

When Lucy demanded that Ann tell her that she (Ann) loved her most, why did Ann cater to her wishes?

The author did not explain to my satisfaction why Lucy continued t...more

Like this review? yes (2 people liked it)

4 comments

08/20/07

Carla rated it:

Read in January, 2007

recommends it for: girlfriends

My best friend Audrey gave me this book at the same time she gave me the book "Autobiography of a face". What a great present. I would read them in the order they are written (autobiography) first. The first book is just an interesting story which is well written. I really liked this book b/c it was mostly about the power of friendship. We all know the power of a good relationship with a significant other but rarely is the power of a female friendship written about. I can relate ...more

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03/29/09

Kate rated it:

(review of isbn 000719093X)

bookshelves: memoirsbios

Read in March, 2009

I can't help but contrast this with Anne Lamott's "Operating Instructions", although totally different premises, but both are primarily novelists who venture into non-fiction to chronicle a relationship. Patchett's clean and crisp writing makes Lamott's simile affection all the more vulgar. And unlike Lamott, Patchett manages to be seem modest despite her success, and largely un-martyred by tragic circumstances. I didn't even mind the patches of one of my very least favorite topics, w...more

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3 comments

09/24/08

Kellie rated it:

bookshelves: 2007-reads, bookclub-books, non-fiction

This was an incredible book about friendship. Lucy Grealy had cancer when she was young, which resulted in several surgeries to remove parts of her jaw. These surgeries left her with a deformed face. Ann met Lucy in her early 20’s. She immediately befriended Lucy and “felt chosen by Lucy and was thrilled.” Lucy had a lot of friends. But it never seemed to be enough. Ann beautifully describes her friend in these words, …”Lucy’s loneliness was breathtaking in its enormity. If s...more This was an incredible book about friendship. Lucy Grealy had cancer when she was young, which resulted in several surgeries to remove parts of her jaw. These surgeries left her with a deformed face. Ann met Lucy in her early 20’s. She immediately befriended Lucy and “felt chosen by Lucy and was thrilled.” Lucy had a lot of friends. But it never seemed to be enough. Ann beautifully describes her friend in these words, …”Lucy’s loneliness was breathtaking in its enormity. If she emptied out Grand Central Station and filled it with the people she knew well, the people who loved her, there would be more than 100 people…If you added to that number all the people who loved her because of her book, all the people who admired her, all the people who had heard her speak or had seen her on television or listened to her on the radio and loved the sound of her odd little voice, you could pack in thousands and thousands of more people, and still it wouldn’t feel full, not full enough to take up every square inch of her loneliness. Lucy thought that all she needed was one person, the right person, and all the empty space would be taken away from her. But there was no one in the world who was big enough for that. She believed that if she had a jaw that was like everyone else’s jaw, she would have found that person by now. She was trapped in a room full of mirrors, and every direction she looked in she saw herself, her face, her loneliness. She couldn’t see that no one else was perfect either, and that so much of love was the work of it. She had worked on everything else. Love would have to be charmed.” To me, this described Lucy the best. I commend Ann for being such a great friend. I am not sure if I would have the patience to be a friend to someone as hard on life and on love, as Lucy. Very moving. I would never had read this if it wasn’t for book club. I am so glad I did. I am going to add Autobiography of a Face to my wishlist. (less)

Like this review? yes (1 person liked it)

1 comment

09/03/07

Kim rated it:

Read in September, 2007

recommends it for: Ann Patchett fans

I have just read two books about female friendship back to back--one was the annotated letters of Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok and the other was this one, novelist Ann Patchett's memoir of her all-encompassing and troubled friendship with poet Lucy Grealy, who is insecure, needy, and self-destructive, but also incredibly gifted. It is no spoiler to say that Lucy dies at the end, which is given away on the dust jacket and dedication page.

Both books were similar in that one par...more I have just read two books about female friendship back to back--one was the annotated letters of Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok and the other was this one, novelist Ann Patchett's memoir of her all-encompassing and troubled friendship with poet Lucy Grealy, who is insecure, needy, and self-destructive, but also incredibly gifted. It is no spoiler to say that Lucy dies at the end, which is given away on the dust jacket and dedication page.

Both books were similar in that one party to the friendship went on to great heights of fame and accomplishment while the other achieved some success, but not enough to soothe her troubled soul. Inevitably, the career paths of the four women in the two books diverged, and not surprisingly their friendships did too.

I enjoyed Patchett's book more than the Roosevelt-Hickok book simply because there was more text, more narrative, than with some footnoted letters (fascinating though they were). I've never read any of Patchett's novels, but I've read some of her articles and she's a wonderful writer. You get many intimations of her talent in this book, but this book ultimately left me cold. On one hand, Patchett purports to love Lucy, calling her the "pettest of [her] pets," yet to me this book (issued rather soon after Lucy's untimely death) smacked of exploitation. Ann reveals all of Lucy's faults and weaknesses in excruciatingly painful detail, and although I could sympathize with Ann's frustration, I felt betrayed on Lucy's behalf.

I can fully understand why Ann, as a writer, felt that writing would be the best way to work through her grief and make sense of her friendship with Lucy. Perhaps she felt she was honoring Lucy and giving her some of the fame that Lucy always craved. But part of me wishes Ann would have written this all down, stored it in a box, and kept it to herself. Or, at a minimum, disguised this story as a novel, which is Patchett's forte. I must admit that I thought about this book for days after I finished reading it, so it was obviously very effective in its way, but I also felt sad, very sad, that Lucy had to die and that her friend had to lay her soul so bare for the world to feast on. (less)

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04/05/08

Kate rated it:

Read in May, 2008

The friendship of Lucy Grealy and Ann Patchett was extraordinary and excruciating. I’ve had some remarkable friendships in my life, but this book forced serious introspection. I identify with Ann, and wonder: could I love someone as broken or needy as Lucy? Would I have the courage to stand up to a self-destructing friend? Do I have the fortitude to stick by a friend through gruesome surgeries/recoveries? Or maybe I am more of Lucy--searching for Perfect Love, drawing others in for my ow...more

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03/24/08

Kang rated it:

Couldn't get into this book because there was no real character development. The book is not so much a narrative as a portrait, a portrait both of Lucy Grealy and of the friendship between Ann Patchett and Grealy. But Lucy at the end of the book is pretty much Lucy at the beginning of the book--with more success and a drug addiction. And Ann doesn't really change either, though she arguably matures and is more comfortable in her own skin by the end. The friendship, to be sure, undergoes some...more

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04/13/09

Kate rated it:

Read in April, 2009

I'm adding this book to my shelf of books about writing. As much as it's about friendship and devotion, it's also about writing. I read the whole thing in a day. (Granted, I didn't get anything else done ... ) This is the story of two women who meet in college and become lifelong friends, until one of them dies. It's powerful and moving and awful and beautiful and I don't know what else.

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03/10/08

Erin rated it:

bookshelves: nonfiction

Read in March, 2008

recommended to Erin by: Wendy?
recommends it for: memoir enthusiasts

I had a tough time deciding how many stars to give this book. On the one hand, after a false start, I read Truth and Beauty very quickly - so it must have been of some kind of interest to me. But when I try to remember what was compelling about it, I have to it admit that it's not much, really. Perhaps the larger-than-life personality of tiny Lucy Grealy? Surely it wasn't the dull reportage of events; the book travels in a fairly linear fashion from first meeting until Grealy's death. Patch...more

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10/20/07

Jhoanna rated it:

bookshelves: you-need-to-buy-this-book

I didn't know much about Patchett or Grealy before reading this memoir and I still don't, but I love how Patchett details this intense friendship between two writers and gives you a close look at the writing process, how people develop and why we keep writing. Here's what Patchett has to say of Grealy:

"What the story doesn't tell you is that the ant relented at the eleventh hour and took in the grasshopper when the weather was hard, fed him on his tenderest store of grass all w...more

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11/15/07

Laurel rated it:

bookshelves: collection

Has a copy to sell/swap

recommends it for: women

Even though I had never read any of Patchett's novels, I read this when it first came out and was incredibly moved by it...the story of Ann and Lucy's friendship simply resonated with me. I think it would resonate with anyone who has had that one friendship that leaves a lasting imprint on one's life. The title says it all...truth and beauty. No sugar coating of character...no rose colored glasses...people are messy and sometimes we love them all the more for it. I would also recommend readi...more

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02/06/09

Lindsey rated it:

(review of isbn 0060572140)

bookshelves: 09-only-not, love-to-be-a-hater, tru-lyfe

I read the first page at the end of one of my breaks and was instantly hooked. This book definitely sucked me in and was well written. It held my attention even during the parts where I was like WTF?! Which there were quite a few parts.

Things were great for me when they were bonding and in grad school. Things didn't make as much sense to me when they were becoming famous authors. Like with the book Comfort I started to wonder if maybe this was a subject I couldn't wrap my brain arou...more I read the first page at the end of one of my breaks and was instantly hooked. This book definitely sucked me in and was well written. It held my attention even during the parts where I was like WTF?! Which there were quite a few parts.

Things were great for me when they were bonding and in grad school. Things didn't make as much sense to me when they were becoming famous authors. Like with the book Comfort I started to wonder if maybe this was a subject I couldn't wrap my brain around. But then I came to the same conclusion that I did with Comfort: no, it's because these people are assholes that I don't get it. Mostly it was Ann that bothered me.

It seemed to me that Ann threw Lucy to the dogs, especially at the end. It was so easy for Ann to dissect and examine Lucy's feelings of inadequacy, her depression, her constant need for approval. I mean, I guess that's easy for friends to do with other friends. But what about Ann? Why didn't we ever get a dissection of her? In fact, there were a lot of parts of this book where I was like, wait, is this really "A Friendship" or is this Ann Patchett talking about Lucy Grealy?

In friendships there are times where you give and take and sometimes there are people who give more than take and that's cool if both people agree- but Ann Patchett really painted herself as the person who only gives gives gives, while Lucy is really only capable of taking. I don't buy it. Especially towards the end of the book. When Lucy is getting all successful from her novel, there's Ann on the sidelines all excited for her. Then at the end of the book when Ann is getting all this limelight she doesn't have time for Lucy's crap anymore. Would she have been fed up if she'd been getting less press? She didn't want Lucy stealing her thunder but when it was Lucy's time that's not what she was doing, she wasn't living vicariously or any of that she was being 'supportive'.

She told more of Lucy's story than was necessary. There were points where I was confused about what this book was a story about, a friendship? Or her famous friend?

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12/27/08

Kerfe rated it:

Read in December, 2008

Addicts are not very likable. At best I found Lucy Grealy tiresome. That was at the beginning of Patchett's memoir about their friendship. By the end my feelings for Lucy had turned into active dislike.

I don't think this was the author's intent. When Lucy dies, she says: "I had thought I could let her go. But now I know I was simply not cut out for life without her. I am living that life now and would not choose it." But she never made me see why this should be. Why...more

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06/08/09

Amanda rated it:

bookshelves: read-in-2009

Read in June, 2009

I have a little crush on Ann Patchett and it was so refreshing to read her first real stab at non-fiction, not least of all because it involves her own life. Well-written, and an intensely intimate look at a friendship which some other reviewers have derided as nonsensical, one-sided, abusive, etc. In many ways, it was all of the above. People like Ann and Lucy (though never quite to Lucy's extreme) have wandered in and out of my life as friends and I have loved and hated them for their selfish ...more

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05/29/09

Anna rated it:

Read in April, 2009

28. Truth and Beauty: A Friendship, by Ann Patchett. This was one of the darkest books I've read all year. A memoir about Patchett's twenty-year friendship with writer Lucy Grealy, who eventually died of something like an accidental heroin overdose (the telling and probably the fact of it is unclear), the book starts out with the exuberance of two girls fresh out of college, and concludes with one of the girls spiraling into depression and addiction and her eventual and inevitable death.

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05/23/09

Nancy rated it:

bookshelves: non-fiction

Read in May, 2009

I liked this book as I have like Patchett's other books, especially "Patron Saint of Liars" and "Run." This is non-fiction, though about Patchett's friendship with Lucy Grealy, another writer, who I had not heard about. I will likely read Grealy's book or poetry at some time, though. Lucy, who has lots of friends, is a demanding, jealous, insecure friend. She seems to be constantly seeking approval, for her writing, her "appeal", both sex appeal and with friends...more

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quotes from this book

"Writing is a job, a talent, but it's also the place to go in your head. It is the imaginary friend you drink your tea with in the afternoon." More quotes...