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Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and About Adults Abused As Children
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Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for and About Adults Abused As Children

3.79  ·  Rating Details ·  169 Ratings  ·  17 Reviews
This much-needed book pinpoints the typical problems abused children experience when they become adults. The information is presented in a friendly and thorough manner for victims and professionals. Original.
Paperback, 96 pages
Published February 1st 1988 by Dell (first published 1983)
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Sep 15, 2012 Mary rated it it was ok
Shelves: non-fiction, 2012
2nd star for the final chapter "Say goodbye to the parents you never had"....some sentences were so spot on my breath caught.

However, this book is very brief and reads more like a pamphlet than a book. There is very little depth, analysis or new information. It is a simple, quick read with a rough outline of things you probably already know if you're reading this. A condensed, superficial and deeply edited narrative of what is a complex and sensitive issue.
Jessica Stephenson
May 07, 2016 Jessica Stephenson rated it really liked it
3.5, but I gave it a 4 because I believe that this book serves a better purpose for select other groups of people, for obvious reasons. I came at this book from the perspective of someone who fell into abusive relationships outside of my family sphere, beginning with sexual abuse at the age of 8, to the reckless seeking of romantic relationships as a young teen, to a toxic relationship/ friendship that I've only released from my life recently, and finally, to the abusive marriage that swallowed ...more
Oct 14, 2013 Christine rated it it was amazing
Sometimes books can be so detailed and overwhelming, but this one really gets to the essence of a lot of the issues, feelings and experiences you may have and has great practical advice for what you may want to do next and what lies ahead.

The chapter headings:
1. Is This Book for Me?
2. Coming to Terms with Abuse as a Child
3. Ok, I Believe It, Now What?
4. Aftereffects of Abuse
5. Patterns of Relating to the World
6. Taking Hold of Your Past
7. Say Goodbye to the Parents You Never Had

A nice perk is th
Sep 08, 2012 Kim rated it it was ok
The caption for this book says thorough. It is not. The information in this "book" is general in nature and provides little detail. If you were to make the print standard type and eliminate blank pages and cartoons, it would be a pamphlet. This is disappointing. There is a wealth of information on this topic and Ms. Gil is a highly reknown therapist with experience in this area. It wasn't put into the "book".
It is written in easy to understand language and could serve as a starting point.
Aaron Talbot
Jan 02, 2017 Aaron Talbot rated it liked it
For anyone who councils, Outgrowing the Pain can be a handy resource. There isn't, however, too much depth here & is more of an introductory. Finally, anyone who has suffered some form of abuse could learn much & hopefully find peace.
Robin P.
Sep 17, 2014 Robin P. rated it it was ok
Shelves: mental-health
Useful in it's simplicity-- especially if accompanied with therapy. A decent primer on feelings and behaviors of adults abused as children. Presented in a straightforward manner for those less attuned to their emotions, but still relevant for who are. This is mostly just an increasing-your-self-awareness book, rather than a how-to-heal book. But basics are important, too. (Saying all this as an abuse survivor, myself.)

However, the section on reasons people self-harm (page 56) was lacking and ina
Jun 06, 2015 Stella rated it liked it
This is a good little book for individuals to read who have endured abuse as a child, however, it in no way explores the topic in depth. As a counselor, I would recommend this to adults who are unsure if what they suffered as a child was abuse, as well as those adults who have identified that abuse indeed occurred, but are suffering from various reactions to the abuse/neglect. While this text in NO WAY takes the place of seeing a professional counselor, I believe it might bring many individuals ...more
Sep 29, 2012 Katherine rated it liked it
Eliana describes the effect trauma & abuse can have on individuals and helpfully breaks it down into every day language. I like that its an easy short read and would recommend it to individuals seeking more information on the topic of trauma & abuse or for anyone in the helping professions.
Oct 06, 2015 Sarah rated it really liked it
Good book with which to begin the healing process. It's brief enough to not overwhelm. I would use it with clients.
Oct 17, 2008 Elizabeth rated it it was amazing
A great book for clients who were abused as children. A little outdated, but still totally relevant. Uses simple language and is short and easy to read.
Gabriel Atchison
Apr 21, 2016 Gabriel Atchison rated it it was amazing
I return to this book often in my life. It is a gentle and powerful way to work on healing around childhood abuse. I would recommend this book for anyone who struggles with past trauma.
Dec 18, 2012 Deidre rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction-misc
Seemed like it was written for a child. Odd, since the book is for adults. I found it too childish to be helpful.
Feb 15, 2013 Mandi rated it it was amazing
this book gives hope and inspiration to overcome the pain of child abuse and its shadow on ones life.
Willie Leathers
Jan 25, 2013 Willie Leathers rated it it was amazing
Great book! It really helped me realize a lot about myself and what to do in the beginning stages to live a normal and healthy life. It is a quick read, and very well worth it!
J. Buddy callahan
J. Buddy callahan rated it really liked it
Nov 05, 2015
Bushra AS
Bushra AS rated it it was amazing
Jan 10, 2011
Christina Masters
Christina Masters rated it liked it
Dec 30, 2013
Kalos Counseling
Kalos Counseling rated it really liked it
Sep 18, 2016
Alexander Shearer
Alexander Shearer rated it it was amazing
Oct 14, 2013
Anu rated it it was amazing
Jan 17, 2009
Marisa Bennett
Marisa Bennett rated it it was amazing
Aug 07, 2016
Brooke rated it it was ok
Mar 05, 2010
Susan rated it liked it
Sep 03, 2015
Betsy Boo
Betsy Boo rated it really liked it
Apr 12, 2009
D. I.  Smith
D. I. Smith rated it it was amazing
Jun 19, 2016
Jenny Colmenero
Jenny Colmenero rated it it was amazing
Aug 19, 2016
Debi rated it liked it
Jun 10, 2013
Melissa Ang
Melissa Ang rated it did not like it
Jun 15, 2014
Kara rated it did not like it
Jun 13, 2008
Joaquin Partida
Joaquin Partida rated it it was amazing
Jan 22, 2017
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