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Get Out of Your Own Way at Work... and Help Others Do the Same: Conquering Self-Defeating Behavior on the Job
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Get Out of Your Own Way at Work... and Help Others Do the Same: Conquering Self-Defeating Behavior on the Job

3.72  ·  Rating Details  ·  290 Ratings  ·  28 Reviews
A practical guide to help workers and managers deal with the self-sabotage that stands in the way of career advancement and satisfaction.

Self-defeating behavior is the most common reason that people put their jobs, careers, and reputations in jeopardy. Whether it's as simple as a breach of etiquette or a fear of learning new things, expecting too much from employers or f
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published October 6th 2005 by Putnam Adult (first published February 1st 1996)
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Mar 01, 2012 Sergei_kalinin rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Я очень люблю всякие штучечки и фишечки человеческого сознания (и подсознания тоже :))). Меня хлебом не корми - дай поковырятся во всяких там когнитивных искажениях, семантических неправильностях, ментальных репрезентациях и т.д. и т.п. Вот и эту книгу я начинал читать, чувствуя приятное азартное щекотание в лобных долях головного мозга :)))

Но уже страниц через несколько меня постигло жестокое разочарование... Сказал я себе: "Блиннн, да это ещё одна очередная попсовая книжка по психологии" :( А
Aug 23, 2008 Robert rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

As I began to read this book, I recalled the core concepts in The Knowing-Doing Gap co-authored by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton. Briefly, they assert that “so many managers know so much about organizational performance, say so many smart things about how to achieve performance, and work so hard, yet are trapped in firms that do so many things they know will undermine performance." Many (most?) people have a “gap” between knowing what to do and doing it, not only at work but in all other are
Александр Шушпанов
По сути, это не книга, как таковая, это хрестоматия. Читаете некоторый поучительный рассказ из профессиональной жизни Марка, читаете его доводы, соглашаетесь (или не соглашаетесь), после чего, если считаете нужным, выполняете мини-задание. Дистанционный психологический тренинг по выявлению своих плюсов и минусов в коммуникации. Ничего сверхнового, его же "Слышу вас насквозь" гораздо интереснее.

Лично мне из этой книги оказались нужными три с половиной главы и одна таблица.
Carolyn Amundson
An overview of 40 common behaviors in which people engage (knowingly or not). Each negative behavior comes with a brief overview of why the rest of the world finds those behaviors annoying (and, thus, diminishes the ability of the person engaged in the behavior to get what they want in life) and some basic ideas for self-improvement. Not surprisingly, the book does not have much depth into each behavior or ideas for improvement -- there are tons of books written about each of the annoying behavi ...more
Kai Palchikoff
The co-author of Get Out of Your Own Way goes on-the-job. Whether it's a simple breach of etiquette or fear of learning new things, expecting too much from employees or failure to delegate, self-defeating behavior is the most common reason people put their jobs and reputations in jeopardy. In quick, to-the-point chapters, Goulston explains that if a professional does one or more of the following, they're getting in their own way-and limiting their success: - Expecting thier boss to appreciate th ...more
Elizabeth Black
I was not impressed with this one. I think what he was going for was practical application to every day life, but the stand alone lessons seem nothing to do with one another and are too simplistic to address the deep roots from which self defeating behaviors stem.
Amy Sanchez
Jan 30, 2008 Amy Sanchez rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all my friends
Recommended to Amy by: My friends at Borders recommended this to me... thanks
Cant get enough of these kinds of books. Just another book that screams "Stop Whining and Do something about it" ... (sometimes we need to hear the truth about ourselves)
Jan 12, 2016 Ben rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is one of those books you feel almost embarrassed to admit you have read. The reality is the lessons taught are so common in today's society either in our own lives of the lives of the people we live and work with.

This is a very readable book with each chapter being 3-4 pages and providing actionable insight.

In fact I finished chapter 3 and got right on the phone and made a call I have been putting off for 6 years now.

If you and your family are perfect and were raised in perfect environmen
3-1/2 stars maybe.
I started this book quite a while ago, before we moved, and got about 2/3 of the way through before it went back on the shelf. Picked it up a couple of days ago and zoomed through start to finish.
As self-help books go, it's not bad. Goulson addresses 40 self-defeating behaviors (e.g., procrastinating, holding a grudge, acting needy, etc., etc.). After a brief discussion of each, he provides a "usable insight" about the behavior and then a series of steps/bullet points for chang
Dr. Mark Goulston has written an excellent book whose advice is as timely today as it was when it was first published in 2006. Its predecessor, Get Our of Your Own Way (co-authored by Goulston and Philip Goldberg), provided a great deal of salient information for dealing with the self-centeredness that prevents us as humans from having good relationships with others, whether in the family circle or at work. Goulston himself follows the philosophies of pragmatism and empiricism; he wants to know ...more
Ali Albaijan
Jul 03, 2015 Ali Albaijan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The book has demonstrated very beneficial advices on how to conquer very commons obstacles that we face. Obstacles that exist within our mentality and feelings when we handle various aspects of life. 40 common questions that we have that we urge an answer of it is available in this book. Some are obvious but there is no harm to be reminded on how to solve it accurately.
Jerry Smith
Easy to read but full of interesting insights, quotes, snippets that you can use and a brief explanation of 40 common self-defeating behaviours. I bet we all exhibit a few of them.

Goulston is a psychiatrist and therefore comes at this with a wealth of experience and writes in a very approachable style. Huge subject of course, how we get in our own way is something we deal with all day every day so his approach to reducing each chapter to manageable chunks is very welcome and works well.

Anita Werner
There are good points but the only sections that are truly helpful are the Taking Action and Usable Insights at the end of each chapter.
Mar 17, 2014 Joy rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Really thin self help content that neglects to provide insight into suggestions.
Egor Kimkhay
Jan 17, 2015 Egor Kimkhay rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Довольно полезная книга. Помогает - как вести себя на работе.
Kasey Dorris
Jan 14, 2015 Kasey Dorris rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Not bad for a "self help" book. It's kind of a Cliffs Notes-version touching on a lot of different topics, all stemming from self-defeating behaviors. I couldn't relate to all of the topics, but some did hit home hard. His style is easy enough to read. He interjects quotes, a few cheesy, a few profound. I would recommend it to someone who is looking for positive ways to start making changes in their life.
Misericordia ❣
Ментальные ловушки на работе.
May 17, 2015 Sean rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A lot of very useful information.
Britty Kitty
Feb 06, 2015 Britty Kitty rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2015
Good advice. I could pinpoint myself or someone I work(ed) with for pretty much every point.
Some interesting insights, but overall felt like an oversimplified crash course.
Jan 11, 2015 Michelle rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Although this is really the first self-help book I have read, it was just what I was searching for. I will definitely read it again, possibly a time or two after that and I will recommend it to anyone that I feel needs it. Of course, it takes energy to learn and make changes but this book is like the quick guide to those negative themes most common in our lives.
This book was great! I can't stand most self-help books because they seem to offer some magic answer to all of your problems. This book was relevant to me and practical. I think a lot of people would find it helpful as well. I'll definitely be coming back to this again to work on some of the things that I could relate to.
Nadya Belkys
Книга отличная, все четко и по делу.
Главное, не удариться в иппохондрию и не начать лечить себя от всех ловушек сразу.
Dec 25, 2009 Tahani rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
What I really liked about this book in general is the little practical solution boxes at the end of every part.
Jun 06, 2013 Robyn rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was a fantastic book. The read was easy, but full of helpful and insightful information
Jan 11, 2014 Kate rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
So. Useful. And not stupid. I got this from the library and now I've bought a copy for my office.
Jul 07, 2011 Jeannie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
still reading but this is surprisingly very good so far. Very practical.
Hard Knocks 101
Sep 12, 2012 Hard Knocks 101 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A no nonsense direct way to dealing with self -defeating behavior.
Anaush marked it as to-read
Feb 12, 2016
Afina Nikoli
Afina Nikoli marked it as to-read
Feb 11, 2016
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MARK GOULSTON, M.D., is a business psychiatrist and consultant, author of the bestselling Just Listen, and subject of the PBS special “Just Listen with Dr. Goulston.” He writes a Tribune syndicated career column; blogs for Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; and is featured frequently in major media including The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fort ...more
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“man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.” —ALEXANDER POPE” 1 likes
“You know the old saying, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” Well, if you always get out as soon as the kitchen gets hot, your life will end up half-baked.” 0 likes
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