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Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief
by
Pauline Boss
When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's pati...more
Paperback, 155 pages
Published
October 2nd 2000
by Harvard University Press
(first published 1999)
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Repetitive at times, but overall an excellent reminder of the importance of defining loss broadly and praticing accordingly.
-- general interpersonal approach
-- also emphasizes narrative, systems, and cross-cultural perspectives
I should add: grounded in historical psych theory, so not necessarily a "fresh" perspective, but well researched and accessible to the general population as well as clinicians
-- general interpersonal approach
-- also emphasizes narrative, systems, and cross-cultural perspectives
I should add: grounded in historical psych theory, so not necessarily a "fresh" perspective, but well researched and accessible to the general population as well as clinicians
This is a great book about ambiguous loss--when you've lost the person, but they're still there (like with divorce, immigration, a missing child, or Alzheimer's disease). This book helped me understand the conflicting emotions involved, and the many different ways (both adaptive and maladaptive)that people deal with their grief.
Whew! It's not just me and it *isn't* my fault. I knew I was dealing with something far more complex than the traditional Kubler-Ross model of grief. Boss's work explains with perfect clarity what is it like to live with a family member who may be physically gone but psychologically present or psychologically gone but physically present. I appreciated the discussion on ways to live well with ambiguous loss and the recognition that the loss never goes away and the resulting grief isn't resolved....more
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An excellent insightful overview of the experience of loss without closure. Boss brings stories from settlers who lose their contact with their homelands and families, and from the families of MIA soldiers, as well as those lost to Alzheimer's disease, to examine her subject.
If you're like me and love books filled with personal/professional examples, this is a good book to read. It was assigned reading but I'm glad I took the time to really read through everything. I thought it was helpful in many ways.
This book was in my collection when I was working with people with Alzheimer's.
It is very good.
It is very good.
Professor Boss underscores the importance of taking notice of and resolving "ambiguous" losses that accumulate over time and can affect our lives. Most people notice the big losses/changes: death, divorce, job loss, but do we notice the quieter losses such as a marriage (loss of singlehood), a new baby (loss of couplehood), graduations, retiring, aging, even seasonal changes? Ambiguous losses are both universal and individualistic. By attending to unresolved loss, we can more fully experience li...more
I really appreciated the concept of this book and feel it has a lot of relavance to personal and professional life. That being said, I found the writing to be redunant and 'choppy'. The book did not seem well organized to me andI think it would have been just as effective in the form of a journal article or thesis paper rather than a book. The first chapter and the last two were by far the best and I would recommend reading those; however,the middle could be skimmed.
Sep 20, 2008
Kathleen
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
caregivers of loved ones with ALZ/dementia, those who have sustained any unresolved loss
Recommended to Kathleen by:
Dr. Jane T, ALZ Assn
This book, difficult to read only because one tends to read it when in the midst of sorrow and grief, helps delineate the difference between grief and mourning. It is especially helpful to me as a "dementia/ALZ wife/widow," where the man I married has died to me, but he is also present and alive in his illness.
It deals with my current situation, as well as losses without closure such as wartime, sudden death, and other losses, be them large or small.
It deals with my current situation, as well as losses without closure such as wartime, sudden death, and other losses, be them large or small.
This is an excellent theoretical book that is written in a clear manner that overviews issues, explicitly and otherwise, that are common to adoption/foster care situations and, in general, address how these processes are very stressful and difficult. I think that every CPS worker and person who is going through CPS involvement should read this book! It helps give words to issues that are very emotional and, well, ambiguous.
What a helpful, enlightening book! Boss introduces the concept of ambiguous loss and helps us understand how it's different from clear loss. This concept applies to so many of our losses in life - she concentrates on the loss experienced in chronic illness, but it's easily applicable to many other things. Her writing is beautiful and understandable. LOVED the book. Use it all the time.
Jul 23, 2008
Angela
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
counselors, psychologists,parents of MIAs, runaways, ESL workers
Shelves:
100-s-psychology
This was an excellent resource for helping recognize that there is ambiguous loss surrounding unrecovered bodies,as well as psychological loss suffered due to immigration and frequent relocation.
This book was difficult because it was theoretical instead of talking directly to the person. Good stuff, though -- some of it.
Very helpful
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Pauline Boss Ph.D. is best known for her groundbreaking research as the pioneer theorist and clinical practitioner of stress reduction for caregivers whose loved ones are suffeirng from dementia. She has an extensive speaking, training, and lecture schedule, has written several books, including Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief (Harvard University Press 1999), Loss, Trauma, an...more
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