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5th out of 49 books
—
21 voters
Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse
by
Laura Davis (Goodreads Author),
Laura Hough
"But what about me?"
"Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?"
"Will we ever make love again?"
"Will the survivor love me in the end?"
"How do I know if I should throw in the towel?"
Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners—girlfriends, b...more
"Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?"
"Will we ever make love again?"
"Will the survivor love me in the end?"
"How do I know if I should throw in the towel?"
Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners—girlfriends, b...more
Paperback, 368 pages
Published
September 11th 1991
by William Morrow Paperbacks
(first published August 1991)
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Aug 13, 2009
H.
rated it
2 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
researchers only
Recommended to H. by:
Amazon ratings
Shelves:
research
Under the very narrow condition of reading for my specific and non-personal purpose, Allies in Healing is a useful read. But I have to say flat out that much of my response is discomfort to Davis' consistent and subversive pushing of what is essentially false memory syndrome/recovered memory therapy. Over and over again, peppered throughout the interesting personal stories and questions of partners and their specific relationship pains, is the message that if a person feels queasy about child ab...more
Jul 17, 2009
Kate
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Anyone
Recommended to Kate by:
Leanne Dahlin, MSW
Simple, concise, supportive.
It lends clear insight in how a persona can be supportive when a person they love is dealing with the trauma of being sexually abused and what they can expect (i.e. a lot of time spent talking about the trauma, how intimacy may be changed, etc.) and how to care for themselves and get their needs met as their loved one goes through this healing process.
My husband and I found it helpful and healing. It spoke to us both and we liked the parts which referred us to have de...more
It lends clear insight in how a persona can be supportive when a person they love is dealing with the trauma of being sexually abused and what they can expect (i.e. a lot of time spent talking about the trauma, how intimacy may be changed, etc.) and how to care for themselves and get their needs met as their loved one goes through this healing process.
My husband and I found it helpful and healing. It spoke to us both and we liked the parts which referred us to have de...more
This book is a useful reference for survivors and their partners. It does give a lot of important resources at the back of the book as well. Laura Davis tackles the very emotionally charged issues around sexual abuse and its impact on adult relationships carefully and respectfully. It also challenges the common stereotypes that most abuse occurs with girls. This topic is never an easy one, and the book is organized as a "menu" so that you can target specifically an issue, or you can choose to re...more
I highly highly highly suggest this book to anyone who knows anyone who has been sexually abused. While it is written for a romantic relationship, it is very relevant and can help with any type of relationship. It's written in a very easy to read question and answer format so you can skip the parts that aren't pertaining to your loved one's situation but I promise it will help you gain a deeper understanding into what they are going through as they work to heal from their past trauma and will th...more
This book is of NO help to the spouse of a child sexual abuse survivor. It doesn't give you a path to normal healthy adult sexual relationship. It tells you your partner needs a "healing vacation from sex", apparently forever as all the case history's cited are of people still celibate in marriage.
This book has been a real life-saver to me as the partner of a sexual abuse survivor. It's full of practical advice and written in a question-and-answer format, making it easy to dip into and find what you need. Apart from the case studies at the end, I'd say one third of this book is information on sexual abuse and how survivors are affected, and the remaining two thirds are advice on how to cope as a partner. The book emphasises that partners have needs too and gives advice on how to communica...more
One of the most helpful books I have read. Partners and intimates of survivors need to read this. Strikes many sensitive spots, but damn me if I wasn't laughing, crying, and LEARNING from this book. Couldn't recommend it more.
Jun 18, 2013
Krista Glover
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Laura Davis is the author of seven non-fiction books, including The Courage to Heal, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be and I Thought We’d Never Speak Again. Laura’s groundbreaking books have sold more than 1.8 million copies around the world. Laura leads weekly writing groups and memoir writing retreats in the Santa Cruz, CA region, as well as an annual summer writing retreat in Bolinas, Californ...more
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“The most important thing in defining child sexual abuse is the experience of the child. It takes very little for a child’s world to be devastated. A single experience can have a profound impact on a child’s life. A man sticks his hand in his daughter’s underpants, or strokes his son’s penis once, and for that child, the world is never the same again.”
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