Not Without My Daughter

Not Without My Daughter

3.96 of 5 stars 3.96  ·  rating details  ·  8,313 ratings  ·  606 reviews
In August 1984, Michigan housewife Betty Mahmoody accompanied her husband to his native Iran for a two-week vacation. To her horror, she found herself and her four-year-old daughter, Mahtob, virtual prisoners of a man rededicated to his Shiite Moslem faith, in a land where women are near-slaves and Americans are despised. Their only hope for escape lay in a dangerous under...more
Paperback, 432 pages
Published February 15th 1991 by St. Martin's Paperbacks (first published 1987)
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Beaman
The untruths begin with the cover of the book, which features the image of a woman who is dressed in a manner which is decidedly not Iranian. So, even before you have read a single word, you have been given an image that is not authentic.

The book is carefully packaged to cater to the American people's fears and prejudices. Also, the book isn't an isolated phenomenon. It's a product of a veritable cottage industry of horror stories and black-and-white portrayals of Muslim societies (Persepolis, R...more
Denise
I have read this book twice and it is my all-time favorite book. I first watched the movie - one of those you catch by chance on a rainy day. I thought it was good. Then one day I saw the book and could not put it down! I could not believe some of the things I was reading. I was in shock! This was probably around 1999/2000.

The second time I read the book, probably around 2003/2004,I was reading it as an Iranian man's wife. I still loved the book and this time I knew a whole lot more about the cu...more
Chick_Flick
The undertone of racism permeated this book. It was very hard to get through because of this. While at times I did feel for the situation the author was in, it was hard to sympathize with her on other occasions because she just seemed so judgmental. I understand she was angry and frustrated and had been through a lot; it probably would have been a better book had she given it some space for perspective. The story is no doubt interesting, but it could have been written better.
Nancy
I can't believe people are still reading this book! I read it years ago when it first came out and had a difficult time putting it down. Not because it is great literature, or because it is an intelligent, thought-provoking book about a culture few Americans take the time learn about, but because William Hoffer is capable of writing a light, fast-paced, adventurous story. I felt Betty Mahmoody acted very irresponsibly. She endangered her child by staying with a mentally unstable man, not to ment...more
Dennis
Reading this account was like watching a Lifetime Television for Women movie. (Sally Field, wasn't it?) The story is told exclusively from Betty Mahmoody's perspective and seems to skew heavily towards her particular biases. On several occasions I felt myself rolling my eyes and wishing someone would help Betty snap out of it because her storytelling frequently devolves into whininess. At the same time, it would be difficult to overestimate the fear, whether rational and justified or not, that a...more
Janet
I know there was cheesy movie made about this book, but the real story is absolutely incredible. It was facinating to learn about the way of life in Iran, and especially about how women are treated. I was amazed by this woman's perseverence and bravery. You'll be inspired!
Jessica
Such a harrowing story! After years of marriage and a beautiful child together, Betty agrees to travel with her husband to Iran to visit his family. There he becomes a completely different person, and refuses to let her and their daughter leave. At one point she is literally held prisoner by her husband, and her journey out of Iran with her daughter actually turned her hair gray.

This isn't completely a catalog of how awful Iran is, though. She gives its beauties their due, and also details meet...more
Alicia Krauchuk Fenton
I remember meeting Betty and her daughter, Mahtob, when I was back in (I want to say High School)...does anyone else remember that meeting (my HS goodreaders?)
Anyhow...I think this was my first introduction to the middle east and what it was like to be a woman in their culture. I enjoyed the book, I was grateful for her courage, and I'm wondering where they are today.
I'll Google to find out. :-)
Naima
Aug 18, 2008 Naima added it  ·  review of another edition Recommends it for: My familys,My bestfriends
Recommended to Naima by: My dad ,i found this book from belong to my dad's
At the time i about 13’s in 2004 - I found an old book called “Not Without My Daughter from belongs to my dad’s, so after that I was started reading, I realized I couldn’t put it down. I spent plenty of time in my room to reading this book until I read it in the ending 2 day later)... I yelled of joy “Yes”! I’m so glad for her and her little Daughter to go back home safely and sound...For me I couldn’t believe that’s in fact true story like that....
I actually grateful that I have normal life and...more
J
I read this when I was about 14. I was well prepared, as I had been quite widely read by this time: I was not as impressed with the movie, as I don't think it was nearly as personal. This is a woman's struggle against an abusive domineering husband, and a repressive family, and that alone makes it worth reading.
The fact that she was able to get out of her situation, and then come to a point where her fears and abuse is relived in the writing of this book is amazing. She has my every admiration,...more
Umme Aiemun Yousuf
I think that this book is a true and utter masterpiece. Captivating and vivid. First, the book was not necessarily well written, but then, this kind of book doesn't have to be well written to get its point across.
Biased; yes, but understandably so. It was extremely emotional. NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER is one of the very best books that I have ever read. My only regret is that I can't give this book more than 5 stars. Betty Mahmoody is very courageous for telling her story.
This is a story about an...more
Haden
If you have picked this book up in hopes that it will give you insight about Iran, put it right back down. Not Without My Daughter is one woman's experience that has been treated like an ethnography of Iranian and Persian culture, and it should never be treated as such. Betty Mahmoody's account of her time in Iran is not only full of gross factual inaccuracies but also blatant racism and xenophobia that made the reading experience hard to stomach.

To put it in perspective, Mahmoody co-wrote the...more
Erin
Not Without My Daughter is bad for so many reasons: excruciating plotting (what should take a paragraph takes pages to develop), poorly developed characters, and an utterly and totally unsympathetic protagonist.

The whole point of the novel is to gain the reader’s sympathy for Betty, held hostage with her daughter in Iran by her husband, and through our hoped-for-sympathy to drum up anti-Iranian sentiments. Except Betty is the least sympathetic character I’ve encountered. Which is saying somethin...more
Zoe
What an incredible lady! This book has really touched something in me that so few have. I was wary, as I don't really follow any religious literature in general but on the reccomendation from a friend i gave it a go. I am so glad I did. The written account from this brave and courageous lady is awe inspiring. The love between mother and daughter never more evident when you would live in such appalling and emotionaly abusive as well as physically abusive a situation as Betty and Mahtob did. Based...more
Connie
Not Without My Daughter, by Betty Mahmoody. True story. Drama, suspense, intrigue,betrayal. After living for many years in America, the doctor husband takes his wife and daughter to his homeland, Iran, for "a visit." Little does she know he does not plan to return to America. Good way to learn about the way the Iranian families live, interact, and support each other. Imagine affording a home with a stove and oven for many years and never having used it. Or having a shower that doesn't get used....more
Melissa
For some reason, I am completely fascinated with the life of women of Arabic culture. This book was the first one I read as I caved in to my intense curiousity. This book was positively FASCINATING. At some parts, you are left positively seething with anger at what the husband puts his unsuspecting wife through.

Betty agreed to go on a "vacation" with her then admirable husband, who appeared to be adjusted to American life. However, once they were on Iranian ground, the one admired husband turned...more
Bayan Abubakr
A male’s dominance over the female race has been present since biblical times; men were always seen as the stronger, faster, dominant race. But when one challenges these tainted ideals, how does the story end or change? Does it become a story of lies and deceit? Or a story of a martyr who challenges deeply rooted societal ideals? In Not Without My Daughter by Betty Mahmoody, it is both. Betty Mahmoody was the ‘average’ stereotypical divorcee who swore of marriage and lived her life everyday to t...more
The Joy of Booking
I first read Not Without My Daughter when I was maybe 11 years old. It was probably too young (I remember being particularly confused about the IUD Betty removes from within her own body with a pair of pliers) but it stuck with me in a tremendous way, and I've re-read it several times.

The true story follows a Michigan mother whose Saudi Arabian husband takes them to his home country for a visit, and then imprisons them there. For a time, he even separates them so that Betty cannot comfort Mahtob...more
Stephanie
While I didn’t bawl my eyes out as she did, I did get drawn in to the torture and abuse that Betty and her daughter felt. The main gist of the story is about how an American woman and her daughter escaped from the clutches of her Iranian husband and from Iran after being held hostage by him and his family. It was an easy read as the author explained most of the Iranian language and terms used in the book and it was kept to a minimum hence there was no need for me to keep flipping to the glossary...more
Bryn
I went to school in Betty Mahmoody's hometown in Michigan, and we were forced to read this book as part of the curriculum in some sort of "Go Michigan! Go USA! To hell with Iran!" xenophobic hometown-pride campaign. I don't know what bothered me more: the dated, black-and-white perspective Mahmoody takes toward a different culture, or the way my English teacher unashamedly cheered her on in sticking it to those "backwards" Iranian monsters. (She forced us to watch the movie as well--which only s...more
Jafar
You can argue about how negative and stereotyping this book is, how it helped to reinforce generalized preconceptions about the Iranians, how it didn’t help to provide a better and more accurate picture of the Iranian society to the an already-hostile American public, how it was used by a sector of the American public and media who would happily jump on anything like this, how it was used by both sides as a political propaganda tool, etc. I read this book not long after I left Iran. I don’t reme...more
Kelly Maybedog Hawkins
I'd like to give this book 2.5 stars but alas... I found the book interesting but it was sensationalistic and extremely culturally biased. The premise is horrific and I can completely understand her hatred and fear. However, nothing is black and white and just because the way women are treated is abominable doesn't mean that everything in the culture is bad and everything the people do is wrong and horrible.

The one scene that sticks out in my mind is that she spends hours every day picking tiny...more
Rachael
Oct 09, 2009 Rachael rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Rachael by: Book Group
The explicit message of Mahmoody's book is a warning to families who intermarry with Middle Eastern cultures, that their stability and happiness isn't secure. The pull of their political and cultural heritage is too great to be ignored entirely. It's a pretty alarming story, terrifying and gripping at the same time. My reaction was one of "look, don't look" at the horrors of her domestic imprisonment.

The implicit messages were the most troubling to me - that people like Moody can't change, that...more
Angela
I absolutely enjoyed every second of this book the first time I read it. I got very involved and attached to the plight of Ms. Mahmoody and her daughter and rooted for them to escape.

However, years after reading this book, I was in a relationship with a guy who is 50% Iranian, 50% American (citizen of both countries). He did not move to the United States until he was 18. Although his mother initially went to Iran with his father to visit family, this was in the 80s and because of the Shah and al...more
Tarusha
'Not Without My Daughter' is not just a story of a brave heart woman trying to escape to her freedom from an in-humane alien land but it is also a story of a mother's priceless love for her daughter. It is a beautifully written story that keeps your mind captured even while you are off reading. The small details of absence of basic human rights, about the laws pertaining to women in Iran and many other intricate details mentioned in the book can be of help for women planning to walk the aisle wi...more
Chana
I read this while, ironically, flying to the Middle East from America. Fortunately I was flying to Israel, an oasis of sanity and peace in the midst of countries whose people are under the thumb of, or are, oppressive at best and murderers all too often.

So Betty Mamoody, an American from Michigan, marries an Iranian who is working as a doctor in the U.S. after receiving his education here. He seems like a nice guy until circumstances converge to make him depressed and unemployed. Then the Shah g...more
Sandy Barber
For me this whole book rang untrue. I know I'm probably going to get a huge backlash for saying that but I just could not empathize with the author. There is no doubt that women are treated differently in Muslim countries and with them I do empathize. However, Ms. Mahmoody had misgivings about taking her daughter to visit Iran before she went ... misgivings to the point that she made an appointment with an attorney. Yet she took her daughter and went anyway. She handed over her passport to her h...more
Laura
I read this several times as a kid (yes, I was a weird kid), found it in a closet during a recent visit with my father, and decided to re-read it and see whether it stood the test of time. I was surprised by how much I still enjoyed it. As an adult reader, I was able to more easily see how much of Moody's behavior was mental illness rather than religious fanaticism. The storytelling was a bit more nuanced than I expected.

Of course, I had to hit Google and find out what was up with the major play...more
Matt Haydon
Holy smokes - what an awesome read! I actually found myself waking up at three in the morning so I could keep reading......twice!!!!

The true story of one woman's courage and conviction to escape her tyrannical husband, his beliefs and his country with her daughter after he basically tricks them into a two week visit to see his family back in Iran and once there she becomes trapped by his countries archaic laws that don't allow her to leave without his permission.

The story is told by the woman wh...more
Tatiana
I devoured this book!!
I found the story fascinating. The story of this woman not losing hope even in the worst conditions, the clash between an independent woman and a deeply conservative male-centered culture, the life in a religious dictatorship...

NO this book isn't racist and people saying so should be ashamed. I suspect quite a number didn't read the book or had preconceived ideas before reading it and saw in it only what they wanted to see.
I for one was wary when I began the reading, wonder...more
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About the story 4 49 Jul 02, 2012 04:51pm  
Issues 2 48 Dec 30, 2011 12:56am  
Not Without My Daughter (Paperback)
Not Without My Daughter
Nicht ohne meine Tochter (Taschenbuch)
Not Without My Daughter (Hardcover)
Jamais sans ma fille (Mass Market Paperback)

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Betty Mahmoody (born June 9, 1945) is an American author and public speaker best known for her book, Not Without My Daughter, which was subsequently made into a film of the same name. She is the President and co-founder of One World: For Children, an organization that promotes understanding between cultures and strives to offer security and protection to children of bi-cultural marriages.

Her book,...more
More about Betty Mahmoody...
For the Love of a Child In een sluier gevangen / Uit liefde voor mijn kind Sold Au Nom De Tous Les Enfants Reader's Digest Condensed Books, 1988 #1, Volume #175

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