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The Girl She Used to Be (Melody Grace McCartney #1)

3.52 of 5 stars 3.52 · rating details · 2,897 ratings · 704 reviews

When Melody Grace McCartney was six years old, she and her parents witnessed an act of violence so brutal that it changed their lives forever. The federal government lured them into the Witness Protection Program with the promise of safety, and they went gratefully. But the program took Melody's name, her home, her innocence, and, ultimately, her family. She's been May Ada...more

Hardcover, 256 pages

Published March 19th 2009 by Grand Central Publishing (first published March 1st 2009)

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Best Books of 2009

60th out of 1,229 books — 6,470 voters

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

The Girl She Used to Be by David Cristofano

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5th out of 58 books — 81 voters

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Apr 27, 2009 Melissa Francis rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Melissa by: Elaine Spencer

Before I go any further, I feel I need to let you know, Cristofano and I are represented by the same literary agency, but other than that, we have no ties whatsoever. Of course, now I'm a major fangirl, but that's a whole 'nother topic.

This book was sent to me as a thank you gift. I was immediately drawn to the cover and the concept. So I took it with me to Orlando with the thought that I would read it over the week.

I almost finished it that day. And I was so moved and so haunted by the story th...more Before I go any further, I feel I need to let you know, Cristofano and I are represented by the same literary agency, but other than that, we have no ties whatsoever. Of course, now I'm a major fangirl, but that's a whole 'nother topic.

This book was sent to me as a thank you gift. I was immediately drawn to the cover and the concept. So I took it with me to Orlando with the thought that I would read it over the week.

I almost finished it that day. And I was so moved and so haunted by the story that I seriously wanted to flip back to page one and start all over. Instead I gave the book to Maria so she could experience the book that melted my cold, black heart.

Melody Grace McCartney has had eight aliases over 20 years. She's lived eight false lives because at the age of six, she unfortunately witnessed a gruesome murder by mafioso Tony Bovaro. Whisked to safey under the Federal Witness Protection Program, Melody has never felt safe nor protected. Especially once her parents were assassinated twelve years into the program by the very family who they were supposedly being protected from.

Melody just longs to be Melody again, but knowing that can never happen, she decides a new identity is still better than the one she is currently living with, so she fakes danger, calls her Marshal for protection, and is again whisked off to safety.

Except this time, she's intercepted by the son of Tony Bovaro. He promises he will never hurt her, never allow harm to come to her as long as she is with him, and when he uses her real name--she can't help but believe him.

Jonathon Bovaro is the anti-hero in this poignant and riveting tale. He is violent and angry, but he is also honest, compassionate, and he has a plan to offer Melody freedom and protection within the family so that she no longer has to run. He never lies to her and she knows she can trust him--something she's never felt in 20 years on the run.

This story is a must read. It is compelling and heart-wrenching. I had no idea how Cristofano would end the story, but I was crying buckets by the time it was over. One day, I hope to write a story that will affect someone the way this story has effected me.

Buy it today. You won't be sorry. (less)

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Mar 17, 2009 Marta hoelscher rated it 5 of 5 stars

I have to say right off the bat that I loved this book. First of all the plot is something completely fresh and different. It isn't your usual romance and not your usual mafia-type book, and yet it combines both elements in a story that is outrageous at the same time that it makes perfect sense. David Cristofano is definately an author to keep watching. The story he's woven here is nothing short of amazing and even after reading the description of the book isn't what you expect when you start it...more

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Jun 30, 2009 Liberty rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: those who love a great story

Recommended to Liberty by: Me Time June Read

This was a fantastic book. I couldn't believe that this was David Cristofano's debut novel! He developed a unique storyline and very strong characters. The way he expressed the emotions and thoughts of the characters made them very real. At times I felt like I was watching real life, not reading a book.

The story centers around Melody, a participant in the Witness Protection Program. Her family was put in the program when she was six after witnessing a mob killing. Many years and identities later...more

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Mar 30, 2009 Kelly rated it 4 of 5 stars

I thought this would be an interesting read. I have always been fascinated by the witness protection program, and I often thought about what happens if you are found? I had no idea how much I would enjoy this book. I had no idea about the other aspects of being in the Witness Protection Program. What kind of life do you really have? Can it be a life at all when you cannot be the person you once were? How is a child impacted by being in this program?

There are few authors who can keep me reading a...more

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Mar 17, 2009 Maria M. Elmvang rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2009, 3-stars, arc, owned, suspense

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Melody knows exactly what's in a name - an identity. The problem is that her name has been taken from her. Since the age of six she's been a Sandra, a May, a Karen, an Anne, a Michelle and countless others. She's frustrated and tired and just wants her identity back! Melody has been in the Witness Protection Program (WITSEC) practically her entire life, but as even that didn't save the lives of her parents, she...more

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Mar 05, 2009 Debbie rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: backs

I am seriously lacking in sleep today because I could not put this book down and did not get much sleep last night. I wanted to read this book because I never thought much about life would be like for these people in the witness protection program. Initially Melody irked me with her constantly lying whenever she got bored with her current situation so they would create a new identity for her. The more you hear of her story though, the more you begin to understand her and why she does the things...more

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Mar 02, 2009 Jeffrey rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: escapism, fiction

Raised in the Witness Relocation Program after she and her family witnessed a gang-land murder, Melody Grace McCartney wants the life that was denied her. After twenty years, her family is dead and her original case worker has retired. Tired and bored of her current cover, Melody lies to the authorities about a threat, not knowing that the crime family had indeed found her.
Spirited away by her new protector Sean, Melody finds herself attracted to the young agent. Yet, when Jonathon, the son of m...more

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Feb 05, 2009 Colleen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

This well-written book traces one woman's attempt to carve out an identity from the tattered remains of a life. Alone, and constantly on the run, Melody has no true connections to anyone other than the agent who has run her case since she was six years old. When he retires, and a new agent takes over, Melody's attempt to resolve questions about her life and her presence in the program take on new dimensions when she is confronted with a killer who knows her name. As she finds herself drawn to th...more

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Jun 06, 2013 Linda rated it 1 of 5 stars

I don't understand how this book could be highly rated by other readers. The story-line is so ridiculous that the book is laughable.

The novel starts off well. It is a very interesting premise. The main character is a woman who has been in Witness Protection for most of her life. She and her family witnessed a brutal killing by the mafia. The author does a good job in describing the heartbreak of a child growing up in the Witness Protection Program. In the present day, her parents are no longer a...more I don't understand how this book could be highly rated by other readers. The story-line is so ridiculous that the book is laughable.

The novel starts off well. It is a very interesting premise. The main character is a woman who has been in Witness Protection for most of her life. She and her family witnessed a brutal killing by the mafia. The author does a good job in describing the heartbreak of a child growing up in the Witness Protection Program. In the present day, her parents are no longer alive. Her loneliness is palpable. She taps into the lives of other families through the use of a baby-monitor, and pretends that those families are hers. The book opens with the main character as a High School teacher. She is bored with her life. She even explains to the reader that when she gets bored she contacts WITSEC, claims that someone has discovered her identity and then they relocate her. She has done this on numerous occasions.

If the story had stayed on this path, it could have been quite good. However when the son of the mafia family who is looking to kill the main character, finds her and asks her to come with him to meet his family and all will be forgiven, the book becomes improbable and childish. The characters are falling in love with each other without hesitation. She feels safe in the mafia guy's presence, which is so absurd because his family has been tracking her for practically her entire life in order to kill her.

The officers from WITSEC are made out to be incompetent bad guys, and the mafia, or at least some parts of the mafia, are made out to be the misunderstood good guys.

To be fair, there were some interesting parts -- as for example their visit to a Hotel/Spa and the way the mafia guy wines and dines her and takes gentle care of her.

The ending could have made the book bearable if the author had made Jonathan (the mafia guy) not what he was presented to be throughout the book, but even that fell flat.

I would not waste your time reading this book unless you like fairy-tales.(less)

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Sep 19, 2012 Laura rated it 3 of 5 stars

If you like books that have a happy, everything-works-out ending, the girl-gets-the-guy book, this isn't for you. I love happy endings, even if they aren't so realistic. Isn't that why we read, because reality is sometimes more than we can handle, becuase reality doesn't always have those kinds of endings?
The novel is about a girl, Melody, who is placed into the Witness Protection Program after her family witnessed a brutal murder by a Mafia thug. Melody was 6 when the family wintessed the crim...more

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Aug 30, 2012 Kelly Moran rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: my-reviews

This is a combination book review for THE GIRL SHE USED TO BE (2009) and THE EXCEPTIONS (2012). I've never done one of these duo reviews before, and honestly, probably won't again, but because these books go hand in hand, I feel it's necessary. These two books are not a series, mind you, but more like carbon-copy reflections of each other.

The Girl She Used to Be:
At age six, Melody Grace McCartney witnessed a violent crime, and after her parents testified against an infamous mafia family, they we...more This is a combination book review for THE GIRL SHE USED TO BE (2009) and THE EXCEPTIONS (2012). I've never done one of these duo reviews before, and honestly, probably won't again, but because these books go hand in hand, I feel it's necessary. These two books are not a series, mind you, but more like carbon-copy reflections of each other.

The Girl She Used to Be:
At age six, Melody Grace McCartney witnessed a violent crime, and after her parents testified against an infamous mafia family, they were sent into Witness Protection. Now twenty-six, and all alone in this world, Melody is sick of being invisible, sick of having no emotional attachment to another soul. She's been countless other names and identities, but the person she longs to be is Melody again. When a stranger shows up one night, calling her by her real name and offering a way out, she takes it. Except this man just happens to be one of the members of the crime family her parents risked everything to put away.
I'm not typically a big fan of first-person, but there's no other way to do a book like this and have the same punch. I also have to give the author a lot of credit as a man writing in the female psyche. This story takes you so much deeper than a high-action mystery with other Witness Protection books. This puts you right in that person's shoes, feeling every lonely night, every fear of recognition, and the desperate existence left after doing the right thing. This story takes you to tears, laughter, numbing hopelessness, and daring for happiness in the course of 241 pages. Mostly literature with romantic elements, this is an emotional must read.

The Exceptions:
Jonathon Bovaro grew up the black sheep in a powerful mafia family. The things he's witnessed and lived through can't be measured by average people. But the one thing that haunts him is a six year old little girl whose life he ruined twenty years before. He's spent his life trying to protect Melody in one way or another. But now his family has ordered him to take her out, and he can't do it. So acting as her shield and hinting at a dangerous plan, he finally reveals himself to the woman he's watched from a distance to give her the ultimate gift: Her life back.
Similar to the first book, (instead of Melody's back story, insert Jonathon's), we hear the story all over again, but from Jonathon's perspective. And this time, we get the ending. I thought I'd find myself bored reading about events I already knew about, but I was wrong. Hearing it from Jonathon's side, and the tidbits unknown, was beyond satisfying. And again, there's closure and conclusion in this installment. It's very rare for me to say this, as I've reviewed hundreds of fabulous books in my time, but this book moved me. Dare I say changed me. Heartbreaking, mind-boggling, frustrating, and charismatically honest, I could not put this down to save my life. We get gory insight to organized crime, witness protection, and the justice system. As in the first book, this is literature with romantic elements, and a book not to be missed.

Overall:
Both of these stories are stand alone reads, but I highly suggest reading The Girl She Used to Be first, then The Exceptions. If you must read only one, it should be The Exceptions because you get the whole story, ending and all. Again, read both! There are not enough positive adjectives to throw at these books to give them justice.
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Jun 25, 2012 Elle Moxley rated it 1 of 5 stars

This book is easily - easily - the worst I have ever read. I'm a big fan of police procedurals and picked it up because I thought the premise would be interesting. Not only was I wrong, I was on a cruise ship surrounded by ocean with no other novels in sight. So I pushed forward in hopes it would get better. (It didn't.)

As another reviewer pointed out, this is a book told from the perspective of a woman but written by a man. Many, many authors play with this combination and succeed. What you get...more

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Nov 16, 2011 Wendy rated it 2 of 5 stars

Oh, this book. The concept and plot of this book are interesting, I just wish someone else had written it. It's written by a man, but as a first-person narrative, with the narrator being a woman; this isn't horribly uncommon, and some men handle it deftly. Sadly, Cristofano wasn't one of those men. His dialogue is heavy-handed and his male lead is a little too... sappy? I found myself rolling my eyes and groaning at the cheesiness more than once. I'm all for the alpha-male exterior belying a dee...more

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Sep 08, 2011 Louise rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: literature-fiction

Although 253 pages, I read this in one sitting, I couldn’t take my eyes off the pages. Twenty-six-year-old Melody Grace McCartney was only six-years-old when she and her family were placed into the Witness Protection Program after they witnessed a horrendous murder committed by someone in the notorious Bovaro family. Melody has had many aliases over the past 20 years and is currently known as, Sandra Clarke.

Sandra is a high school math teacher living a comfortable life but decides one afternoon...more Although 253 pages, I read this in one sitting, I couldn’t take my eyes off the pages. Twenty-six-year-old Melody Grace McCartney was only six-years-old when she and her family were placed into the Witness Protection Program after they witnessed a horrendous murder committed by someone in the notorious Bovaro family. Melody has had many aliases over the past 20 years and is currently known as, Sandra Clarke.

Sandra is a high school math teacher living a comfortable life but decides one afternoon that she’s tired and bored of being Sandra and wants yet another move. She phones her Protection Agent, one Randall Farquar, and tells him she received a phone call from someone with a New York accent who said: “Sing me a song, Melody.” Of course this never really happened but Sandra wanted another new life.

When she arrives at the Federal building she is disappointed to learn that Randall is retiring and won’t be handling her case any longer and introduces her to Marshal Sean Douglas, her new ‘protector/locator’. After a long conversation and reading through her file, Marshal Douglas and Melody hit the road for another relocation. While staying overnight in a motel, Melody awakens to a male voice saying: “Melody Grace McCartney!” with a knife pressed to her throat. Who is this man and what does he want? She finally realizes the man is none other than Jonathan Bovaro, the Mafioso sent to find her. Melody is actually thrilled and she just can’t resist and decides to go “willingly” with Jonathan because she’s tired of running and never being who she was born to be. As dangerous as Jonathan is, he gives Melody a once in a lifetime chance – the chance to embrace her past and present, and then choose her very own future.

The writing was flawless in the novel and the story just flowed like a river. I absolutely fell in love with both Jonathan and Melody and really wanted them to become a couple, to be engaged and then to marry. How crazy is that? The man is a killer, his family killed her parents leaving her alone and with a lifetime of assumed names and occupations, but once you read this story, you’ll understand where I’m coming from. Any woman would want the type of ‘relationship’ that Jonathan and Melody end up having.

The concept of this story, that a “protected witness” would willingly go with a “killer” is almost beyond comprehension, but believe me, it works. And who knows, in Melody’s situation, with your feet in HER shoes all these years, you just might make the same choice. This was definitely one book well worth reading!

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Jun 13, 2011 pinkgal rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: her-voice, fiction-and-um-stuff

Ennui and sympathy only work so far here. It's hard not to like the book, but essentially, I felt like this was a romance novel disguised as a serious look at the life of a person in the Witness Protection Program. I never felt the urgency, I never really got into the title character, and I certainly had no strong feelings about the plot... or lack thereof.

That all being said... well. I did enjoy it - the girl is such an idiot, that you can't help but like her (especially the fact that she does...more

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Jun 13, 2011 Nancy rated it 3 of 5 stars

I wish I had known what book I was reading. One placed referred to this book at a Young Adults, which if it was, the wording and dialogue style would have been wasted on a young teen, but yet, if the book was designed for the regular adult demographic – the story was too simplified and downright unbelievable. So, that leaves me unable to say exactly what it was that I read.

When Melody Grace McCartney was a young child, she with her parents, witnessed a Mafia style killing and was placed in the W...more

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Jun 08, 2011 The Mulberry Review rated it 3 of 5 stars

"The Girl She Used to Be," a romantic suspense novel by debut author David Crisofano, was a fascinating glimpse into the Witness Protection Program. Melody Grace was placed in The Witness Protection Program at the early age of 6 and yearns for her identity. Now, at age 26, Melody is transported to her newest location, only to be discovered by the mob who is determined to end her life. But her captor, Jonathan Bovaro, complicates things -- because she falls in love.

Overall, the pacing was well do...more

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Jun 07, 2011 Melissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

"The Girl She Used to Be" hooked me from the first paragraphs:

"Name me. Gaze into my eyes, study my smile and my dimples and tell me who you see. I look like an
Emma. I look like an Amy. I look like a Katherine. I look like a Kathryn. I look like your best
friend’s sister, you sister’s best friend. Introduce me. Yell for me. Let me run away and call me
back. Run your fingers through my hair and whisper my name.
Call me whatever you want; it’s just a name, after all."

But it's not just a name...more

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Feb 01, 2011 Ali rated it 4 of 5 stars

I had put this down on my tbr list ages ago when I saw it recommended in a magazine. Then, a few days ago someone else mentioned it so I decided it was time to read it. The book grabbed my attention from the very beginning and kept me interested the entire time. I thought some parts were really really well done and that some weren't done so well. For instance, (view spoiler)...more

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Oct 28, 2010 Melanie Goodman added it

If you were to ask me, “Would you like to read a book about the mafia and the Witness Protection Program?” I would probably say, “No.” A great big NO. I honestly have no idea how David Cristofano’s The Girl She Used to Be ended up on my wish list. I probably stuck it there during a binge Amazon browsing spree. I’m so glad I did. This is the kind of book you will read and then want to start pushing on everyone you know. It made me want to drop everything and go be its door-to-door salesperson. Th...more

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Aug 19, 2010 Emidy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Originally from my book review blog:

Gorgeous book. Gorgeous, gorgeous book. And what a great library find! Truthfully, I enjoyed almost every moment of The Girl She Used to Be. Despite the scattered cheesy moments, it offers such a unique, interesting twist on those classic "self-discovery" books. It has action, it has adventure, it has intrigue, mystery, romance, substance, and honesty.

The fact that Melody literally doesn't know who she's supposed to be scares me so much. I mean, imagine not be...more Originally from my book review blog:

Gorgeous book. Gorgeous, gorgeous book. And what a great library find! Truthfully, I enjoyed almost every moment of The Girl She Used to Be. Despite the scattered cheesy moments, it offers such a unique, interesting twist on those classic "self-discovery" books. It has action, it has adventure, it has intrigue, mystery, romance, substance, and honesty.

The fact that Melody literally doesn't know who she's supposed to be scares me so much. I mean, imagine not being able to stay in a certain town long enough to get an education, get a steady job, meet someone, and live your life? It's an utter mess. And it's depressing. It's weird. Strange. But Melody has to live this lie all the time, and it was so easy to empathize with her. I've never read a book where someone was so deeply lost in life - her anguish was contagious. And then, much to my happiness, we were presented with an adventure of sorts! I don't want to say much, but it felt oh so risky and a tad rebellious. Fun!

One thing that really made this book was Cristofano's writing. It was like velvet. Not necessarily in the beautiful-and-elegant-description-on-every-page kind of way, but in the way that makes you say "yes, this feels right". I loved the sarcasm, I loved the spunk, and it was great being inside Melody's intelligent yet wild head! Of course, there were the classic movie romance scenes. But even these were relatively sparse and it didn't feel like they ruined the story in a noticeable way. I could do without them, though.

The characters were, all in all, good. Melody was the most realistic, and the secondary character could have used a bit more personality in my opinion. I did find it a bit odd how they fell for each other so quickly, though! Don't worry - this isn't a spoiler at all. I'm pretty sure every person will be able to see it coming. Still, it's so sudden! I literally turned the page and there they were, gazing into each other's eyes. I thought they were enemies? I thought they had a history?

I'm being really picky here, but that's only because I liked this book so much. I feel the need to be critical! The Girl She Used to Be was a wild ride, and it was so much fun. Short and sweet. The way it should be.(less)

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Jul 26, 2010 Lee Libro rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

The publicists at Author Exposure provided me with a complimentary copy of The Girl She Used To Be by David Cristofano after I chose it from a selection of over fifty other titles to review.

When Melody Grace McCartney was six years old, she and her parents witnessed an act of violence so brutal that it changed their lives forever. The federal government lured them into the Witness Protection Program with the promise of safety, and they went gratefully. But the program took Melody's name, her ho...more The publicists at Author Exposure provided me with a complimentary copy of The Girl She Used To Be by David Cristofano after I chose it from a selection of over fifty other titles to review.

When Melody Grace McCartney was six years old, she and her parents witnessed an act of violence so brutal that it changed their lives forever. The federal government lured them into the Witness Protection Program with the promise of safety, and they went gratefully. But the program took Melody's name, her home, her innocence, and, ultimately, her family. She's been May Adams, Karen Smith, Anne Johnson, and countless others--everyone but the one person she longs to be: herself. So when the feds spirit her off to begin yet another new life in another town, she's stunned when a man confronts her and calls her by her real name. Jonathan Bovaro, the mafioso sent to hunt her down, knows her, the real her, and it's a dangerous thrill that Melody can't resist. He's insistent that she's just a pawn in the government's war against the Bovaro family. But can she trust her life and her identity to this vicious stranger whose acts of violence are legendary?

The short synopsis sounded appealing enough and the title struck a chord with my own morphing sense of female identity, but the real grabber for me was that the author is male. Written in the first person from the viewpoint of the main female character, the story presented an intrinsic challenge and I was curious to see how well the author could rise to it.

The story starts with a twenty-six-year-old woman who has lived a series of identities after having been witness to a murder at the age of six. At that time she was Melody Grace McCartney, but through the Witness Protection Program, she has lived her life revolving in and out of eight other identities, complete with new names, social security numbers, geographical locations and occupations. Along the way, she has lost her family, her childhood and the roots that nurture a human being, and now as an adult it would appear that she will have to forgo the joys of human bonds, relationship, motherhood, all the simple pleasures of everyday life with family and love—she is alone in the deepest sense of the word.

Her true original sense of identity lays buried beneath the impossibility of living a normal life while constantly on the run. And yet, she is pleasantly surprised to find it alive and kicking when she comes up against Jonathan Bovaro, the son of the mafioso responsible for the murder she and her family had witnessed. He knows the real her, even calls her by her real name, so long forbidden and yet somehow now mesmerizing. He represents the ultimate danger to her but he presents to her an interesting proposition, the opportunity to clear the way for a chance to live her own life. His intentions toward her are slightly askew from the job he has been appointed to do—to kill her—and in this we are privy to the morality and inner psychology that can temper writing, the type of crafting that shifts the reader’s attention into the higher gears of true excellent literary entertainment.

But what makes the story so incredibly compelling is the true chords the author achieves with the female character’s inner conflicts. The fact that he is a male writer immediately evaporates from page one with the opening: “Name me. Gaze into my eyes, study my smile and my dimples and tell me who you see. I look like an Emma. I look like an Amy. I look like a Katherine. I look like a Kathryn. I look like your best friend’s sister, your sister’s best friend.” From then on it is Melody’s story, told so tightly and compactly that one can’t help but turn page after page as we become truly invested in her outcome. The author masterfully crafts a twisting, turning tale of romance, intrique and human drama and does so without falling into any trite stereotypical or tired themes.

The nuances he provides to the reader in both the narrative main female character and Jonathan Bovaro are refreshing. Picture a youthful mafia man wearing glasses, or one who corrects himself when he’s about to swear in front of the woman he loves and you begin to get the picture. The characters are so viable you can almost touch them. Indeed, the author has developed an extremely palpable love scenario, but even more the sense of danger and impending confrontation with “the girls” nemesis, the Bavaro Crime family, provide enervating anticipation for the final conclusion.

Anyone who enjoys the combination of mystery and romance, or intrigue and thriller or even chick lit with a deeper literary bent will love The Girl She Used To Be. I give it five out of a possible five stars!(less)

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Jun 28, 2010 Jael rated it 4 of 5 stars

David Cristofano grabbed me with the first chapter. We meet a young woman, toiling away her time as math teacher – a teacher who has lived 20 of her 26 years in the Witness Protection Program. She has gone through so many names, May Adams, Karen Smith, Anne Johnson, Jane Watkins, Terry Mills, Shelly Jones and Linda Simms. Each name has become more forgettable as the years went on. We meet her as Sandra Clarke, but after 18 months as a math teacher in Maryland she tells the United States Marshal...more David Cristofano grabbed me with the first chapter. We meet a young woman, toiling away her time as math teacher – a teacher who has lived 20 of her 26 years in the Witness Protection Program. She has gone through so many names, May Adams, Karen Smith, Anne Johnson, Jane Watkins, Terry Mills, Shelly Jones and Linda Simms. Each name has become more forgettable as the years went on. We meet her as Sandra Clarke, but after 18 months as a math teacher in Maryland she tells the United States Marshal Service that danger is near. In reality there is no danger. More than anything she just wants to be herself again – Melody Grace McCartney.

One day, a six-year-old Melody and her parents left their New Jersey home for a day out in Manhattan. While on that journey, they have the misfortune of witnessing a murder at the hands of mafia boss Tony Bovaro. From that day on the lives of the McCartney family are forever changed. They are forced into the Witness Protection Program. As a teenager, the Bovaro family catches up with Melody’s parents and kills them. Orphaned Melody is now without her anchors – her parents.

At 26, she has changed her name and hair color more times than she can count, now she has to deal with a new caseworker – Sean. Sean vows to keep her safe, but a new man Jonathan Bovaro offers Melody a chance to get her life and freedom back. The only catch is she has to come with him to face her past. Despite the danger, Melody goes with him. Along the way the two of them fall in love, but several forces fight to keep them apart.

Cristofano definitely knows how to pull the reader. He gets right to heart of the matter – a woman’s fight for freedom and love. There are definitely some Bonnie and Clyde and Romeo & Juliet qualities to this book. Jonathan and Melody come from different backgrounds. No one wants them together --- not the Feds and certainly not the Bovaro family. Jonathan and Melody don’t kill anyone, but they choose to go on the run and flout the law. While the situations in the book might not seem realistic to some, including myself, I enjoyed the book from start to finish. Cristofano manages to take a horrible situation and turn it into a love story. I highly recommend reading it.(less)

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May 03, 2010 Gaby rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: literary-fiction

The Girl She Used To Be is hard to categorize - it has suspenseful, humorous, romantic and touching moments, but the book doesn't fall under those general categories. It's a book that grabs you from the beginning. Here's how it starts:

"Name me. Gaze into my eyes, study my smile and my dimples and tell me who you see. I look like an Emma. I look like an Amy. I look like a Katherine. I look like a Katheryn. I look like your best friend's sister, your sister's best friend. Introduce me. Yell for me...more The Girl She Used To Be is hard to categorize - it has suspenseful, humorous, romantic and touching moments, but the book doesn't fall under those general categories. It's a book that grabs you from the beginning. Here's how it starts:

"Name me. Gaze into my eyes, study my smile and my dimples and tell me who you see. I look like an Emma. I look like an Amy. I look like a Katherine. I look like a Katheryn. I look like your best friend's sister, your sister's best friend. Introduce me. Yell for me. Let me run away and call me back. Run your fingers through my hair and whisper my name.

Call me whatever you want; it's just a name, after all.

When I was born, my parents assembled a string of vowels and consonants so magical, so rhythmic and haunting, that the human form had yet to be married to such beauty.

When I was six, it was taken away.
And because of my ineptitude and innocent inability to keep a secret, they took it away again when I was eight.
And at nine. At eleven. Twice at thirteen."

When the book begins, Melody Grace McCartney is 26 years old, a veteran of the Federal Witness Protection Program, and teaches math at a public high school. Since she entered Witness Protection so young, its rules have shaped her life. As we read about what Melody does to create a sense of connection and family while staying safe, we sense how isolated she feels. (Spoiler alert!) She buys baby monitors to eavesdrop on the everyday sounds that her neighbors and their families make. There is a scene at a mall's Hallmark store where Melody vicariously shares in an important moments of another person's life. I'm trying not to give this away but the baby monitors and the Hallmark store ritual really got to me. I see a perfectly quiet moment at home as a treat, so Melody's desire for the ambient noise of a real family and the way that she described it really made her character come alive for me.

As the story progresses, Melody interacts with her students, the US Marshall assigned to her case, and Jonathan Bovaro. As I read more about Melody and Jonathan, I became invested in their success.

The Girl She Used To Be is an unusual treat - the characters are unusual and nuanced, the plot is complicated and unpredictable, and the writing is so well done.

ISBN-10: 0446582212 - Paperback
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing; Reprint edition (March 10, 2010), 272 pages.
Review copy provided by the publisher.(less)

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Mar 29, 2010 Elizabeth Scott rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really like this one a lot--it's like nothing I've ever read before. When Melody was six, she and her family witnessed a mob killing, and, after the government pressured her parents to testify, were put into witness protection. Melody and her parents were moved a lot--sometimes because of threats, and sometimes, especially when she was younger, Melody would forget who she was supposed to be.

In spite of all the moves, the name changes, the frankly grim-sounding life, Melody finds herself alone...more

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Oct 27, 2009 Samantha rated it 4 of 5 stars

From Goodreads:

"When Melody Grace McCartney was six years old, she and her parents witnessed an act of violence so brutal that it changed their lives forever. The federal government lured them into the Witness Protection Program with the promise of safety, and they went gratefully. But the program took Melody's name, her home, her innocence, and, ultimately, her family."

My Thoughts:

The Girl She Used To Be swept me up from the beginning of the novel and didn't let go until the end. This is a fast...more

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Oct 04, 2009 Lexie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: review-blog, genre-fiction, book-type-hardcover

When I first began reading The Girl She Used To Be I got a weird sense of dejavu. Never been in the Witness Protection Program (and god willing I never will be), but the restlessness, the need for something different, new, extraordinary to happen in my life I understood well. The need to be an active participant in my life and not just a piece to be moved in some game I'll never understand.

Melody was a surprisingly strong character that I found much to identify with. Not the math jargon--anythi...more When I first began reading The Girl She Used To Be I got a weird sense of dejavu. Never been in the Witness Protection Program (and god willing I never will be), but the restlessness, the need for something different, new, extraordinary to happen in my life I understood well. The need to be an active participant in my life and not just a piece to be moved in some game I'll never understand.

Melody was a surprisingly strong character that I found much to identify with. Not the math jargon--anything but the simplest math goes over my head--but she made mistakes I could easily understand and see myself making. What's more natural for a teenager to do then to hit their parents' weakest point and exploit just so they know they can? So that next time their parents will think twice about countermanding their wishes and remember?

Jonathan definitely made a romantic hero. As Melody admits later on, "Perhaps I did fall in love with Jonathan because he set me free." (pg. 240) Which I think she proves when she originally meets her new Witness Protection Handler and has a number of flirty thoughts regarding him and immediately places him on a hero pedestal because he is so different from the last handler she had. She was ready to fall in love with whomever made her life less dull and un-extraordinary.

What made me love this book however is the second part to the quote: "But I believe we all fall in love for some esoteric and simple reason: the first time a man comes to your rescue, the way he holds you when you kiss, his smile that haunts you and has you endlessly daydreaming." (pg. 240) That is possibly the most realistic explanation I've seen of what 'love' means. In the end she wanted to be with him, trusted him, loved him because he made her feel like a real person. He made her feel extraordinary just by holding her hand.

My only lingering question was early in the book Jonathan mentions the fact that his family has a very reliable contact within the Witness Protection Service and that's how he was able to track her all these years. Nothing more is said and its left dangling with no clear closure.

This was David Cristofano's debut novel and it leaves me eager for more in a genre I don't normally read (straight fiction that is).(less)

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Apr 24, 2009 Deirdre rated it 3 of 5 stars

This unusual glimpse into the Witness Protection Program was interesting and engagingly written, though I had some problems with its fundamental plot devices. The story grabbed me from the very beginning, with clever dialogue and quick surprises that kept me turning the pages. Melody was a well-written and quite loveable narrator -- Cristofano is to be highly commended for his ability truly to capture a woman's voice in such emotional and intelligent detail.

And yet, for all the highlights this n...more

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Apr 19, 2009 Marie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a debut novel by David Cristofano and he really did very well; it is a suspenseful page turner with threats of violence and romance. Melody is a 26 year old woman who has been in the Federal Witness Program since she was a child. She lost her parents and has no one who knows who she is or who she was except for the bad Mafia guys. Full of psychological issues as she is trying to conform to what the Feds try to identify her as, she wants to fill the void and feel real. She has been assumi...more

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Jun 16, 2013 Cassie Haines rated it 3 of 5 stars

While this book was very different from anything I've ever read before, it was an entertaining read that I couldn't put down; however, the story got more absurd as it went on...did Jonathan really think they had a chance?? And the ending is unsatisfying and leaves the reader feeling divided on whether to be happy or sad for Melody. Yes, she got her life back, but she's still living a lie and doesn't have her real identity AND all she did was trade places with Jonathan in the end. Now HE lives a...more

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About David Cristofano

David Cristofano has earned degrees in Government & Politics and Computer Science from the University of Maryland at College Park and has worked for different branches of the Federal Government for over a decade. His short works have been published by Like Water Burning and McSweeneys. He currently works in the Washington, D.C. area where he lives with his wife, son and daughter.

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Quotes from The Girl She Used to Be

“It's more than the color.' He lifts my chin a little and our eyes reconnect. 'They have a dark line around the edge of the iris, a thing of natural beauty that brings your eyes to life. And they are intense; they shine like they're reflecting the light of a thousand stars, and they reflec...t me, too, and they make me want to be everything to you. And when you get angry, they dance a little, and every time it weakens my heart and makes me smile.” — 17 people liked it

“But I believe we all fall in love for some esoteric and simple reason: the first time a man comes to your rescue, the way he holds you when you kiss, his smile that has you endlessly daydreaming. I'm not sure the reason you fall is as important as the fact that you have indeed fallen.” — 14 people liked it

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The Girl She Used to Be (Melody Grace McCartney #1)

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